"I," Mr. Len started, "am going to give you guys an extension on your finals."

The class piped up with whispers and questions.

"Ok, ok. I know, I know. Some of you are super stoked about this because you haven't even started on your final project yet. And then the rest of you are bummed out because you've been working really hard on your finals. But I'm giving all you slackers some more time and I'm giving all you over-achievers a chance to make your projects kick ass," he explained.

"So instead of having your final project due at the end of this week, it will be due at the beginning of next semester when we reconvene. I'll give you a week after we get back, so it will be due maybe January 11-ish?" he suggested. "Sound good?" he asked. The class let out a collective sound of agreement. "Great! Let's move on now for what I had planned for today--" he began. Aiden raised his hand.

"Yes, Aiden? What's your problem?" Mr. Len asked.

"Why'd you change the date?" Aiden questioned. We all nodded and looked at Mr. Len for an answer.

"You want me to lie or give you the truth?" he asked.

"We'd like the truth," Aiden answered.

"Very well, then," Mr. Len sighed. "The reason I changed the date was because I won a free trip to Hawaii for the break and my flight leaves the day of your original final," he explained. We looked at him incredulously.

"Len!" a girl named Hazel shouted.

"You're ditching us to go to Hawaii?!" Joseph exclaimed.

"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity," Mr. Len explained. We all glared at him. "Look, I'd take you all with me if I could, but I only got two tickets. One's for me and the other's for my girlfriend, so..." he trailed off.

"Thanks a lot, Len," Aiden grumbled.

"Way to be happy for me, kids," Mr. Len said. We all began talking at once before he settled us down.

"All right, all right. Next time I win a trip from a radio station I'll be sure to tell them give me extra tickets for sixteen other students," Mr. Len said sarcastically. "But seriously, moving on now," he said.

"I was thinking that since it's right before the holidays and it's the beginning of finals week, we should go around and lighten up everyone's mood with some Christmas carols," he said. He pulled out a stack of music sheets and passed them around to all the students. "What we're going to do is walk around the school with these sheets and sing carols in the hallways. We'll occasionally stop in a classroom that I've already picked out," he explained.

"Won't we bother people?" Kyle asked.

"Who can be bothered by Christmas carols?" Mr. Len retorted.

"Ummm, me. I work at the mall and have to listen to this crap everyday," Juliet said.

"Well, you're a pessimist anyway, so what's new?" Mr. Len replied.

"That's also true," Juliet agreed nodding. Mr. Len smirked and then looked around at us.

"All right! Let's get crackin' class!" he said, waving his arms. We all reluctantly got up, less than thrilled about this idea.

"You want to lead?" Mr. Len asked me, falling in step with me. I shook my head silently and looked to the ground. I felt his gaze linger on me before he moved ahead to lead the class. I felt an arm brush against mine and looked up to see Aiden, who gave me a small smile. I wished that I could return it, but I couldn't.

"Let's start with 'Let it Snow'," Mr. Len announced as we walked towards the stairs. We pulled out our sheet music and began.

Mr. Len walked in front of us, conducting and directing our voices so we harmonized and sounded like angels singing music. Teachers and administrators would stop walking as they saw us and would stand off to the side to listen. They all had smiles on their faces, which lit up the otherwise gloomy hallways.

"Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. And since we've nowhere to go. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!" we sang. As we passed through the corridors that had windows, we glanced up and paused abruptly.

"Oh my GOD! It's snowing!!!!" Hazel cried. We all stopped for a few moments to gaze at the silent snow as it fell softly to the earth. We were delighted to see that it stuck and didn't melt. Soon, I knew, the ground would be covered in a soft, white blanket.

"It doesn't show signs of stopping..." Mr. Len started up again.

With our spirits lifted by the beauty of the snow falling outside, we continued with the carol, our voices magnified and audibly more excited. Each classroom we walked into, we saw the students faces lit up. They had clearly seen the snow, as well, and with the carols, it truly felt like spirit of the holidays were more alive. For a moment, we forgot all of our worries and stresses about finals week. We just enjoyed the joyful calmness of the snow outside and the music echoing through the halls.

"--five golden rings! Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree!" we concluded.

We were now standing in the Great Hall, on the raised stage where the teachers sat. Our voices echoed through the dining hall long after we finished singing. Mr. Len gazed up at us beaming.

"That was great guys! We really lit up the whole school! Now, enjoy your breaks and go play in the snow!" he cried. We cheered and handed in the music sheets before exiting the dining hall. Mr. Len stopped me before I left.

"Hey, Renee, wait a second," he said. I stopped and faced him.

"Yes?" I asked in my quiet voice.

"You holding up better?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I'm fine, Mr. Len," I replied. I felt his gaze burning through me and looked down.

"If you're fine then why wouldn't you step up to lead?" he asked. "Quite frankly, I'm sick of hearing Hazel and Juliet take charge," he added with a small smile. I didn't return it.

"I'm not much of a caroler," I told him.

"That doesn't mean you can't lead," he replied. "You know what I noticed though, and that I have been noticing, is that you don't really sing in groups. I can never distinguish your voice from anyone else's. And I know you have a fantastic voice and I would be able to recognize it. It seems to me like you're just moving your lips but no sound is coming out," he said.

I looked down at my feet, not knowing what to say. What was I supposed to tell him? That I planned on giving up singing forever? That I was thinking about dropping this class and replacing it with something? I couldn't tell him that. He'd see right through me. He already knew something was wrong. I had broken down in front of him.

And I knew he just wanted to help me reach my potential. And I really wanted to allow him to do that. But the problem was, my heart wasn't up to it. My heart kept telling me to stick it out for this semester and then drop the thing that tortured me.

Music was such a joyful and beautiful thing. How could I produce music, sound, vocals, that were beautiful when I felt nothing but ugliness inside of me? How could I make such a joyful and happy sound while I felt nothing but sadness? My heart wouldn't allow it and I was too weak to fight the will of my heart.

"I'm dropping the class, Mr. Len," I blurted out. "I'm not coming back next semester." I snuck a glance up at him to see his reaction and was surprised to see that he was expressionless.

"Well that's just disappointing. I really thought you were stronger than that," he said in a quiet voice. I felt something break inside of me and wondered what was possibly left to break.

"I can't keep doing something that tortures me. I'm sorry," I told him softly.

"You can't look at it as torture. Once you learn to change your point of view on something, it changes everything. You're so bent on whatever happened to you in your past. You need to learn to look at it differently. You need to see it as a learning experience. We all make mistakes, Renee. But the people that are weak are the ones that let those mistakes get to them. And I didn't take you for a weak person," he said.

"But I am. And I can't help that," I replied, my voice hard. I looked up at him, my gaze cold and grey. "I'm sorry I couldn't live up to your expectations," I said. And without another word, I left him standing at the center of the stage, walking the length of the dining hall alone. Alone. Like I always was, like I always would be.

I walked out into the cold December air. The snow falling heavily and there were students outside already, warm in their winter coats, scarves, gloves, and boots. I reached my hand out to catch a falling snowflake and watched as it melted on my skin.

"Let's go inside and get some hot chocolate!" I heard a voice whine behind me. I turned around to see Madison yanking on Aiden's arm. He seemed fixed where he was, clearly not wanting to go inside.

"Why would I want to go inside when I can have a snowball fight out here?" he asked.

"To cuddle with me, silly!" she replied in her obnxiously girly voice.

"I'd really rather be out here," he said. She glared at him.

"You're the worst boyfriend ever!" she huffed.

"And you're the most dramatic girlfriend ever," he replied. Her expression turned angrier than it was before.

"Oh yeah? Well if I'm so dramatic, then why are you dating me?" she asked.

"Because you begged me to!" he exclaimed.

"I only wanted to date you because we're meant for each other!" she defended.

"Says who? The social circle at this school? Eff that," Aiden replied. She squared her jaw at him, still glaring daggers at him.

"Well fine! Maybe we should just break up!" she shouted.

"Yeah? Maybe we should!" he shouted back.

"Fine!" she yelled.

"Fine!" he yelled back. And then, with a great stomp of her foot, Madison turned on her heel and walked away. I heard Aiden curse and kick the soft blanket of snow under his feet.

"Stupid bitch!" he yelled at no one in particular. Then he looked up and caught sight of me. His face saddened a little as our eyes met and locked for a few long moments. Then he turned and walked away, his head down, his shoulders drooped.

I had no idea what to do in this situation. He had just clearly broken up with his girlfriend in the nastiest way possible and was visually upset about it. I didn't know if I should follow him and comfort him or if I should pretend I didn't see anything. I knew immediately what I would do. I knew I would ignore it. I would pretend as if nothing had happened. I would act as if I hadn't seen his hurt expression. I would keep to myself and let him keep to himself. And life would move on.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Ben and Jen. They both had on wool caps to keep their ears warm and had their hands buried in their pockets.

"Hey!" Jen said cheerily. I tried to force a smile at her, but it turned out to be a grimace.

"You all right?" Ben asked, his blue eyes wide and knowing.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You look like you're trying to make a decision," he observed. I bit my lip, preoccupied by his uncanny ability to read my expressions.

"I just saw Aiden and Madison break up," I told them. Jen let out a small gasp.

"Really?" she asked, her hazel eyes wide. I nodded. "Was it dramatic?" she questioned.

"Extremely," I replied. She clapped her hands.

"Details! I want details!" Jen quipped. Ben rolled his eyes.

"All girls are suckers for gossip," he said.

"That," Jen said, punching his arm, "is a big and stereotypical generalization."

"But a true one," Ben replied, shooting a smirk at me.

"So what happened?" Jen asked, turning her attention towards me again. I shrugged.

"They were arguing and then Madison got mad and then he got mad and then they broke up," I answered. She frowned.

"Oh. Well that's not exciting at all," she said.

"You're a horrible person," Ben told her.

"Yeah, but I'm fun to have around, so it cancels out," she replied with a grin. He laughed.

"The boys are planning a full-out class snowball fight for this evening," Ben told me.

"Are you going to be in it?" I asked him.

"Yeah right. With his arm?" Jen snorted. He shoved her slightly and she giggled.

"I played baseball," Ben said.

"Yeah, in elementary school," Jen added.

"That counts!" Ben defended as Jen laughed.

"Well, I'm going to watch. You want to come?" she asked me. I shook my head.

"Nah. I think I'm going to go to the elementary school and hang out with my brother," I said in a soft voice. Ben noted my gloomy tone and I could feel his eyes searching my face for clues as to my mood.

"I still haven't met your brother," Jen said, oblivious to what Ben could see.

"He's a great little kid," Ben said in a robotic voice, his eyes still on me. "Hey, would you go in and get us all some hot coffee and find a spot in the library? We should get some studying in before the snowball fight," Ben told Jen. Jen looked between Ben and me and seemed to understand that he wanted to talk to me alone.

"Sure! I'll text you when I find a spot," she said. And with a sympathetic smile towards me, Jen walked away, back into the school. We watched as her petite form disappeared into the shadowed entrance.

"You got really lucky with her," I said, staring at the closing door.

"Yeah. She's great. Not the jealous type at all," Ben replied. Then he placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me so I was facing him. "What's up? Is something bothering you?" he asked me. I shook my head, averting my gaze. I knew it was no use lying to him. He knew something was wrong. But at the same time, I couldn't tell him.

"Ren, look at me," he said in his gentle, concerned voice.

"I'm sorry, Ben. I just don't want to talk about it," I said.

"You can't keep it bottled inside forever, Ren. Whatever it is that's bothering you, you need to tell someone. You can't keep hiding or you'll lose yourself," Ben told me.

"I think I'm already lost, Ben," I told him, my voice cracking slightly.

His eyebrows narrowed in worry as he tried to pull me close to him. I shook my head and turned around, running into the school to shut myself up in my bathroom where no one could see the tears that were threatening to fall out of my eyes.

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A/N: Whoops. Sorry about the depressing chapter. I guess all of these are pretty depressing. But now that Madison's out of the way...*wink wink*

Sorry I haven't been updating this story as often. I've been working to finish up my other story. Sometimes I forget about this one. But don't worry! I'm not leaving it behind!! I'll still update!

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