Once we reached home, he didn't give me any time and just held my hand tightly and walked upstairs. To the locked room.

"Kezr....that's-"

"Seven years, Rozella. Seven years that he's gone." His voice came out shaky and hoarse.

He walked upto me and burried his face in my neck, hugging me tightly. I kissed his hand stroking it with my finger.

He released me from the hug and opened the door.

He didn't go in. He just stood there. At the enterance, looking at his feet.

I looked around and I couldn't belive my eyes.

Depressing quotes, black and white sketches, black walls, black curtains, black table, black chair was surrounding the room.

The only bright thing in the room was a white canvas placed on the canvas stand.

The whole room vibed of darkness, depression.

I read what the quotes say.

"They leave."

"Death"

"Who am I?"

"Alone in one trillion people."

"Fucked up life."

I read these all and they gathered tears in my eyes, but what made me gasp and cover my mouth was a quote hung up on the wall almost falling, had a crack on it's glass frame.

"What if I end it all?"

"K-Kezr" I looked at him to see his eyes red, his jaw clenched, his hair messy, he looked nothing like how my Kezr would.

My Kezr is happy, smiling, begging for my kisses, not having red eyes and disheveled expressions.

He didn't answer and just went to the painting which had a faceless man covering his ears.

He was turned around but I knew his expressions were of, sadness, anger, fear.

He started in his broken voice which retorted a sob from my mouth. In other circumstances he would have rushed to me and wiped my tears, but this was his time, he needs someone to wipe his tears.

"Eighteen....... A young boy was sitting with his father, in his tree house" he paused and chuckled, but the chuckle wasn't what I was used to, it was a dark one, a depressing chuckle.

"Tree house, yeah, eighteen and a tree house, he got me that, my dad. My father. We were sitting when he told me that he'd leave me one day and I'd have to suck it up."

I went to him and kept a hand on his shoulder but he pushed my arm away lightly.

I backed away knowing he needs time for himself.

"Alzheimer, a disease, took him away from me."
He was speaking really calmly, with no swearing, no anger, no clenched fists or jaw.

And I knew he was about to burst.

And I would be here for him. No matter what.

"He taught me to follow my dreams and become successful in life..... I started my company when I was 17, wasn't getting many clients and I was feeling all my efforts going to vain, but he was there to hold me, to care for me, he taught me to be patient and that success takes time."

He turned around to look at me and I smiled sadly at him, but his cold eyes remained the same. He turned back around and went to another sketch.

"One day he fainted and we had to rush him to the hospital. We found out he didn't have much time, no time for an operation, no time, just...... No... time..... And that was what I needed back then,..... Time.. for him... for myself."

I was confused at his point, nothing made sense. Is he talking about Elijah?

It doesn't seem so.

"On my 18th birthday, he forgot me. I came home from work only to find him shouting at the guards to take the 'intruder' away. The doctors said he wasn't going to forget that easily but he had a brain tumor. And it was spreading fast........ On his death bed he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "Tell my son I love him" those were his last words to me. He couldn't recognize his son, the boy whom he once told he loved, I told him I love him too and he smiled at me sadly and passed a-away."

His voice was broken at the end. I didn't even know what was going on but I had tears cascading down my cheeks.

I can't imagine what a son might feel knowing his father doesn't recognize him.

The same man who helps you take your first step, to help you ride a bicycle, to be there for you, who owed to protect you.

He went to touch the sketch and backed away immediately, as if it had burnt him. He flinched at it's touch.

He turned around and came to me.

"He died.... Left me alone." He said barely above a whisper.

I blinked for a second, realizing my mistake instantly as the next thing I know, I heard a crash and saw the painting broken and Kezr's hand had blood oozing out from it.

"Kezr!" I rushed towards him but he stopped me with his hand.

"Trust me, I deserve it.... I mean... What kind of a son am I if I let my dad forget me-me?" I saw a tear rolling down his cheek, then another, then another.

He didn't even wipe it away, he looked like he was in his own world.

I immediately ran out of the room to grab the first aid for him.

When I returned, I saw him sitting on the floor with his legs on either side of him, and his head ducked down between them, his injured hand placed on the floor.

He looked up from his position and said, "Oh, you're back, I thought you would have left me too" he said with a chuckle.

I went to him and crouched down to him. Kissing his cheek and forehead, I told him while having my own tears emerging from my eyes.

"Never, never baby, I would never leave you.... I like you, we've promised to learn to love each other, I can't.... Leave you" I shuddered at the thought of leaving him.

I wouldn't be able to live without him, he has become a piece of mine now, I can't let him be away.

He frowned and took his non-injured hand, he wiped my tears away.

"Don't cry 'cause of me, you went through a lot worse, my pain is nothing like yours, don't waste your precious tears on me... "

How can he think like that?

I will not allow him to think like that.

"Kezr... Love... Nobody's pain is less or more, everybody has skeletons of their own, some hide them in the closet, some don't. Don't think for a second that your pain is less than mine, everybody has their own pain, and they are nothing compared to the other, because I don't know what you went through, and you don't know what I went through, but the least we can do is be there for someone when they need us..... And baby, I am right here for you, and Iam not going anywhere."

I told him truthfully while placing another kiss on his cheek to which he closed his eyes and a tear escaped his eyes.

"You know? You don't look hot when you're crying." I joked trying to ease the tension but he just kept looking at me with his cold yet soft eyes.

"No! You're not even laughing now, well I will make you laugh later, I'll aid you first... Bring it here." I patted my lap but he didn't bring his hand.

He didn't talk much, just said what he needed for me to know, "Your clothes, blood" he said pointing to his hands.

"I'll change them, now..... Here." I said picking up his arm and placing it on my lap.

His warm blood was oozing on my dress and I could feel his blood from the sheet of my dress.

A tear left my eye and he looked at me worridly, "Don't look at me like that, why did you do this to yourself huh? You wanted to fight, punch something, go punch a flipping pillow, don't do this to yourself. " I said pouting and bandaging his hand.

"Iam sorry Rozella, I didn't mean to make you worried" he said with no expression, just his cold blue eyes staring back at me.

"How would you not make me worried, you're mine, my... One... And... Only. I care about you, you....you... Silly manure"

I saw a small tug on his lips and I felt proud.

"Yay! Made you smile, yesss!" I said fist bumping myself.

"You won't leave me ever.... Right?" Kezr asked stroking my hair.

I leaned into his hand, closing my eyes.
"I could never, I will never, you?"

In other scenarios he would have made a joke about this and said no, but he was dead serious here.

"Never." He said and kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes feeling his touch and leaning to it.

••••••••••••••••••••••

Iam sitting in our room right now, playing talking Tom on his phone while he's taking a shower.

I love this app, it's just cute how he can mimick you and talk.

Kezr bought all my stuff in his room, we share a wardrobe now. I only had a very small space occupied due to my non existent clothes, so Kezr took me to shopping and let me buy whatever I wanted.

I hesitated but he just said that he's mine, meaning his money is mine too.

Kezr brought me a new phone too, when he figured out that I have no phone other than the business phone, which can only be used for business and not like an actual phone.

He has Iphone 12 pro and he got me the same one.

I asked him to buy me a less expensive one and below his, but he just said that we're on the same level and we're the same.

I have my phone too, but I love playing on his phone, don't know why.

I stole one of his t-shirts so that I smell like him and I am wearing my black shorts underneath it.

Yesterday, when he was sleeping, I tip-toed to his cologne drawer, and found it locked.

I swear I was so angry at him for that!

I went back to bed and didn't find him there, suddenly he appeared from behind me and said, he knew his wife all too well to know she'll be sneaking around.

I didn't talk to him for whole 5 minutes and let me tell you they were alot.

He kept pouting and kissing me, and I finally had to forgive him.

But, today, since the confession in the art room, we haven't kissed, he hasn't touched me, he is really quiet, but he is smiling at me and forming sentences even if they are forced.

I decided I will give him time, and be patient with him.

I love him and he deserves it.

Fuck! Love him?

Oh shit! I cursed.

No, shit!

Wha-no!

I heard the bathroom door open but I didn't seem to care as I was too panicked about me cursing.

I looked to my right and saw Kezr looking at me weirdly.

He had only a towel on his waist and one towel was in his hands from which he was drying his hair.

Shite! I love his abs!

He looked drool worthy. I wanted to bite him.

Can you bite him?

Of course I can, he's mine.

I got off the bed, forgetting I just cursed, that's the effect he has on me, he makes me forget everything when he's around me, gathering all my attention.

His eyes fixated on mine and I went to take the towel from his hand off. I grabbed his arm and looked at it.

He kept looking at me with his eyes widened and lips turned up, he was giving me a look telling me, I was weird.

Well, boy, I know that.

Shut up! He's not boy, do you look at the abs? They are the proof of his masculinity.

I looked at him, then his arm and then attacked him with my teeth.

I bit him and he hissed in pain, moving his arm away from me.

"The fuck!?" He yelled causing me to giggle.

It felt nice to bite him, yummy!

"Yummy!" He smelt like roses, which meant he used my shower gel.

"You used my shower gel?" I asked him amusedly.

His eyes widen, forgetting all his pain, he turned around, showing me his back muscles and said, "pshh! No!"

Liar.

His hair was all curly from being in braids that I made yesterday.

Kezr stood in front of the mirror and I sat back on the bed admiring him.

He looked at me through the mirror, "Zelli?" He said pointing towards his hair.

"Come'ere" he came towards me and sat on the floor in front of the mirror and I sat on the bed.

I started braiding his hair.

I love his hair, they always smell great and they're really fun to play with or to pull.

I pulled his hair and he hissed making me giggle and slapped my hand away, resulting into all the braids letting loose.

"Uggh! Now I'll have to do it again....You poop" I said and pulled his hair again.

"You really like to cause me pain huh?..... And poop. Really?" Kezr said looking at me with raised eyebrows.

I just shrugged my shoulder and started braiding again.

I was half way through when he decided to break the silence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me what happened earlier?"

He said and I froze.

I looked in the mirror to see him looking at me.

I shook my head and continued braiding his hair, "Iam curious, I mean you dropped the bomb and Iam confused, but Iam not going to pressure you, you can tell me whenever you feel comfortable. You don't need to feel like Iam pressuring you when Iam clearly not."

I said securing his one sided braid with the rubber band and then moving to the other side's opened hair, doing the same as I did to the other side.

"No, I want to tell you, I appreciate you giving me time and all, but... I want to share my past with you, like you did"

I shook my head looking in the mirror to see him fiddling with his fingers.

"You don't need to feel obliged to tell me your past just because I told you mine."

I want him to feel comfortable with me.

"You're not making me do anything, I want to...listen to me, I want to tell you." He said turning his head slightly and kissing my thigh.

I blushed and he just smiled at me.

I love how he makes me feel, but I hate how he makes me submissive.

I hate how my body reacts to him and blushes causing him to laugh at me.

I also want him to blush and get affected.

Iam gonna google it later.

How to seduce and make men blush?

I secured both of his braids and pulled his hair back kissing his luscious lips. Finally, I missed these.

He stood up and sat beside me.

"Iam worried for you Kezr, you're acting so changed, you're acting weird... Not like my Kezr and I wanna know the cause... Tell me, if you're ready. I won't judge you, I'll never judge you."

He took a deep breath and stood up from the bed.

Does he not want to?

He just left... Just like that?

I was beginning to stand up from my place to get to him when he came back with only a pair of grey sweat pants on, with no freaking shirt!

I thought we were about to have serious conversation.

But no, he has to act all hoxy in front of me.

*sigh*

He sat beside me and I crossed my legs and patted them for him to put his head on, he adjusted himself on my lap and closed his eyes taking a sharp intake of breath.

This gave me time to check out his abs.

Woah! He has alot of them he has- 1, 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 pack. Woah! 8 pack!

My heart!

Why can't I have packs? I just have a fat belly.

I was in my thoughts when Kezr started speaking.

Time to get serious.

"You might be confused as to if Elijah is my dad then who died?" I nodded, "Well, Elijah is my step dad."

Shocked. Stunned. Startled.

Step what?

"What?" I asked him with my mouth agape, it suddenly felt dry.

"Yeah... Its pretty fucked up, but...well, uhh-okay just.... Just embrace yourself this is going to be alot." Kezr warned and looked at me, to see my shocked face.

"I said embrace yourself and you're already out of control?"

I got out of my trance and shook my head, "I-I am just shocked.... I-"

He nodded his head, paused and started.

"My mom was seventeen when she got me, her and my dad met at a club and I was born as a drunken mistake." He said and closed his eyes tightly.

He seemed to hate that word and I can understand why.

It hurt me to see him like that so I smoothed out the crease on his eyebrow and started playing with his hair.

He relaxed but still had his eyes closed. With them being closed he started speaking again.

"When they found out they were about to have me, my mom was young and didn't want me but my dad said that he was ready for it and that he would take care of me with or without her. Being 18 he had responsibilities, but he dropped out of school to take care of me."

I don't know why but I felt anger in my veins, Layla didn't want him? What kind of a mother does that?

But I knew she had her reason, but a child is innocent, it's not in their faith to look after their parents mistakes. It not their fault, they're innocent. But still, parents make they're offsprings pay for their mistakes.

"My mom eventually agreed and they had me, my mom's family supported her while my dad's family abandoned him saying he was a disgrace to the family, but did that stop him from having me?... No. It didn't. My mom told me that he had a huge smile on his face and even shed some tears when he saw me first."

A smile coated his face making me smile too, but he couldn't see me as he had his eyes closed.

"My parents tried to marry so that they can give me a lovable life, but that only caused them problems, apparently they weren't compatible enough, but they didn't give me up and raised me with love and affection"

He paused and I kissed his forehead to which he sighed and took my hand in his and placed it above his heart.

It was beating really fast, as if he had run a marathon.

He was afraid of this... He was afraid of the outcome this will bring to our marriage.

But I won't let this effect us, sure it's a big secret and Iam shocked as Layla and Elijah never showed any favoritism and they actually are like a family, but I'll never let it come between us.

I lowered my head caressing his cheek and whispered, "Then what love?"

He smiled but it was a forced one as if he didn't want to but it still made it's way to his face.

"My mom married Elijah and they had Aria, when I was 5. My dad didn't care as he only ever wanted me. Elijah was really affectionate and told my mom that he will think of me as his own. When I was 17, my dad fell ill and started forgetting things like where he was? Or where he kept his glasses? Or did he take his medicines or not.... First we thought of this as normal as it happens to everyone, but we missed the major red flags."

He had a tear rolling down his cheek and I hurriedly kissed it away. I hate when he cries, it pains me to see such a strong man like Kezr cry, the one who makes my life easier, who makes me laugh, smile, and makes my days better, who gives me a reason to live for.

"Don't cry baby, it's okay, Iam here." I cooed and played with his hair.

He shook his head, eyes closed tightly, "It's not okay.... It's never okay, when my dad died I was in a bad place, I had suicidal thoughts, I got lonely, I lost not only my father, but my best friend, all my friend's fathers were either away, cheating, or too busy for them, but that was not the case for me. My father loved me and I love him too. I got therapists and they told me it will be okay...but it doesn't get okay....you just get immune to the pain. It's just-It gets h-hard when you loose someone you're too used to.... Its hard when you l-lose someone you love."

I had a tear of mine rolling down, even after I tried controlling them, they still managed to escape.

But the reason behind my tears was love.

I realized what he said and framed it on my life.

"It gets h-hard when you loose someone you're too used to.... Its hard when you lose someone you love."

I will not be able to live if I lose Kezr or if he isn't in my life anymore.

It'll be too hard for me considering my love for him.

Yes, yes I love him, I do.

Me not being able to live without him.

Me panicking when I don't see him in his office.

Me crying when he jokes about himself dying.

My heart clenching at the thought of him being with someone else, to which he has to assure me that he's only mine.

Me threatening anyone who dares to look at my Kezr.

I love him.

I love him, Kezr.

I love Kezr.

"Zella?"

I heard Kezr's voice snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Why are you crying?" He looked at me, his eyes finally opened. He jolted up from my lap and held my chin firmly.

I sniffed at the realization of my love for him and also because I was afraid that I fell too fast and that he might reject me.

"Baby" he took me in his arms and craddled me.

That made me cry even more at how caring he was.

God! Iam such a child.

"S-sorry, I don't know why Iam crying." and the thought alone of me crying made me cry 10× harder.

We just sat there together, with our arms around each other.

"Zella?" He asked wiping my tears away, but I was not looking at him.

"Yes?" I mumbled into his neck feeling his warmth.

"I like you alot."

I love you alot.

"I like you"

"No, like you don't get it." He said tsking.

I removed myself from his neck which was easier today as he held a scent of roses and not the usual sandalwood that I love on him.

Remind me to forbid him to use my shower gel from now on.

"I-I have never felt this way about anyone before. You-you give me a reason to smile, to wake up everyday. You aren't just my wife, but you're mine, my choice, all mine."

He paused and for a second I thought he was going to say he loves me.

"No one... And I mean it... No one has ever made me for these 7 years, want to unlock that room and go in it. That room....After his death I used to paint depressing thoughts of mine in there, you'll see that there is only black and white sketches, no paint, because there was no color in my life until you entered it..... You filled my life with color, you... Only you... And I promise you Zelli, I'll always keep you happy, I'll never hurt you, I'll never let you get away."

He said and tears brim my eyes again.

"I wouldn't want to be with anyone else and please Kezr, you've filled my life with color too. I like you."

With that we fell back on the bed kissing each other passionately and feeling each other's warmth

Kezr slept like a baby beside me with his head between my chest and stomach and his legs tangled with mine, his hand on one of my breasts and his other hand in my hair.

The position was definitely intimidate and I was blushing really wide.

My hand was in his hair, caressing it and stroking it which bought a happy, content smile on his face.

Today was a really depressing and long day for us, and we both weren't ready for it.

But Iam glad this happened as it strengthened our bond and we got to know about each other more.

We both revealed a different side of us to each other and we both didn't judge each other.

It feels like we are a power couple.

I just.....Just want him to be my forever.

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Hey-lo,
Firstly, I wanna thank you all for your support and love as we reached 2k thank you so much.😚

Secondly, If you guys are in a bad place in life and need help, please consult a therapist, life is too short to be lived with regrets and remorse, and guilt filled heart, if you have sucidial thoughts, seek help, seeking help doesn't make you weak it's quite actually the opposite as it shows how brave you are for taking a step towards your life.
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