50. Cards on the Table
Percy kept his eyes locked on Eloise's hand, watching with a frown as she used her fork to idly push around the lettuce on her plate, refusing to take a single bite of the salad she had ordered. Over the last few weeks he noticed she had been extremely focused on work. In the beginning, he decided to mind his own business as he too had been known to be quite the workaholic, but this seemed different.
Her blue eyes seemed dull and gray, she barely spoke a word to anyone other than Audrey, and that was only to ask her for more work. And now here she was, sat with him at the cafe as usual, refusing to eat.
To say he was concerned about her was an understatement. Percy was worried sick, and rightly so. Worried that something was going on that she refused to tell anyone about, worried that she was slowly working herself to death, worried that she would begin to isolate herself from the people she loved, just as he had done years ago.
"You alright, Eloise? You've barely touched your food."
The girl shrugged, keeping her eyes glued to the wilting romaine on her plate, "Just not very hungry."
Percy's brows knit into a frown, "Are you sure it's not something else? If you're too stressed with work just tell me and I'll talk to Audrey."
"It's not work. Work is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment."
Percy had a hard time believing her. But if work wasn't what was driving her to seem like a shell of herself, he'd hate to know the real reason. Instead, Percy tried to pull the focus of the conversation off of her to see if it would help.
"I'm transferring departments at the end of the month. I've been promoted."
Finally Eloise brought her eyes up to her friend. For the first time all day, Percy finally saw a familiar spark light up in her eye, the first hint of the Eloise he knew and loved returning.
"You have? Percy that's amazing! Which department?"
"They've made me Deputy Director of the Department of Magical Transportation. Rumor has it the Head of the department is thinking of retiring soon, so I'm hoping the climb up the ladder will be a swift one." he said proudly.
"I'm so proud of you, Perce. I know you were feeling trapped in our department."
A hint of sadness glazed her voice, purely due to the fact that she suddenly felt as though she'd be losing the opportunity to see him every single day. They had grown quite close and she'd become accustomed to their daily lunch dates. Even on the days when she felt like she didn't want to speak to anyone, Percy still joined her and sat with her in comfortable silence.
"There's something else." he added, hoping the news might cheer her up.
"What is it?"
"I've put in a good word for you to get my old position. I know you've wanted more of an opportunity to travel and I hope this is the first step in that direction for you."
Eloise was elated that he'd do that for her, she really was. The idea of a promotion thrilled her to no end. Hopefully the days of endless paperwork would be a thing of the past and she'd be able to actually get out there and do something to make a difference. But still, even the greatest news couldn't fully take her mind off of what was actually bothering her.
"You don't look very pleased." he observed after a moment.
"I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."
"Are you happy?"
"I am happy, really." she assured him, "A promotion is just what I've wanted."
"No, Eloise. I mean, are you happy?"
She quickly realized Percy wasn't referring to work at all anymore, but about her life in general. It took a while for her to consider her response but maybe her hesitation told him more than her lips ever could.
"I'm fine." she finally replied.
Percy pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his knuckle as he looked at her intently, "Can I give you some unsolicited advice?"
A chuckle escaped from her lips, it was a sound that relieved Percy ever so slightly. Of course he was never the jokester from his family, so knowing he could still elicit such a response from her when she seemed so down gave him a twinge of hope.
With the hint of a smile still present on her lips, she replied, "Of course."
"I think you should start considering what would make you really happy. And I don't mean with work, I mean in general. I spent so many years wasting time doing things I thought I was supposed to be doing, not what I actually wanted to do."
Before Eloise could form a response, she saw Percy wave at someone over her shoulder with a coy smile. The gesture hadn't gone unnoticed as she glanced behind her to see their boss, Audrey, entering the cafe. A thought suddenly popped into her head as she turned back to face Percy.
"That's why you're transferring." she said with a grin.
Percy bit back a smile and shook his head, "I have no idea what you're talking about... but yes."
Eloise laughed, a real laugh this time, loud and joyfully for the first time in weeks. Percy soon joined in, confused about how she found so much humor in the situation but finding it impossible to fight her contagious giggles.
"Invite me to the wedding, won't you?" she smiled as she wiped away a tear.
"Slow down there, you know the only Weasley wedding in the near future is Ron and Hermione's in a few months." he shook his head with a laugh.
The wedding was set for the middle of June and while Eloise wished she could push the thought of it from her mind, the invitation sitting on her coffee table at home was a constant reminder of the event. She loved weddings, she really did. But the idea of being in attendance at such an event when things were still up in the air with George filled her with nothing but dread.
There was no way she could ever predict what would happen to them between now and then. How could she agree to attend when she didn't even know if she'd be wanted there at all by then?
"How could I forget?" she said as her attention was brought back to her untouched salad.
Percy raised an eyebrow at her sudden shift in mood, "Eloise?" her eyes met his as he continued, "You'll think about my advice, right?"
She brought her eyes back down and nodded slightly, "Yeah, Perce, I will."
-
Eloise had taken the Floo home from the Ministry to find Verity and Simon curled up on the couch. The petite witch had her tongue sticking out in concentration as she was painting her nails in a bright pink shade that was so unabashedly Verity. The bottle balanced between her thumb and index finger looked nearly identical to hers and it clicked in her mind. George had made his best friend her very own personalized shade of non-chip nail polish.
The mere idea that he'd do something so simple and sweet for Verity still made her heart swell. It had only been a day since she last saw him and yet she missed him like it had been weeks. But she didn't want to be the one to crack and speak to him first. He was the one who jumped to conclusions, not her. Why did she have to be the one to go out of her way to explain herself to him?
"How was work?" Verity asked, not taking her eyes off her of nails.
"It was fine, I might be getting promoted soon."
Had Verity not been listening, she might've missed the exciting news because the way Eloise said it made it seem so painfully uninteresting, it could have easily sounded like she was talking about something as mundane as the weather.
"Eloise! That's great!" Verity exclaimed, rousing Simon from her lap as he grumpily situated himself in an armchair across the room instead.
"Yeah, it is. I'm really excited."
Verity raised an eyebrow at her friend, "Could've fooled me."
"Now you sound like Percy." Eloise smiled, ever so slightly.
"Did Percy also tell you to go talk to George?"
Eloise rolled her eyes, "Percy doesn't know what's going on with that."
"I'm sure if he knew, he would have told you the same thing I have been."
An annoyed sigh escaped from Eloise's lips as she made her way into her room to change out of her Ministry clothes.
"Just take the Floo and go talk to him! Bite the bullet and get it over with!" Verity called from the living room.
When Eloise emerged from her room wearing an old pair of jeans and the jumper Molly had knit her for Christmas, she pulled her frizzy hair up into a bun and secured it with her wand before she began pacing around the room.
The girl had been doing that a lot lately. Walking a rut into their hardwood floors as she allowed herself to ruminate on any number of thoughts - most often about George. Luckily it seemed she had expended all of her tears as of late, instead trading them for an increasing amount of wild scenarios playing in her mind that she couldn't seem to shake.
"Why should I be the one to initiate the conversation? He's the one who made his own assumptions, it's on him, not me." Eloise complained aloud, not even directly to Verity, but at the world in general.
"Because, you two are absolutely rubbish at communicating. It's actually quite impressive how much you both avoid your problems."
"Thanks for your input, Verity."
"Oi, I already told you what I think. The situation will never get better if you keep avoiding each other after every single tiny misunderstanding. Look how well it's worked so far." she said bluntly as she screwed the lid back on the bottle of nail polish.
Eloise stopped in her tracks and faced her friend. Verity was right, and she knew it. Every single break down in their relationship could be traced back to a miscommunication of some sort that they had allowed to fester into wild thoughts and unwarranted resentment.
"Just take the Floo and go talk to him." Verity urged once more.
Eloise's eyes diverted to their fireplace as she chewed nervously on her bottom lip. Who's to say George would even be happy to see her? He'd probably take one look at her and kick her out, telling her to go back to Maxwell instead. But Verity was right, if they never talked nothing would ever be resolved.
She took a step into the hearth after grabbing a handful of the powder. With one last encouraging nod from Verity, Eloise threw it down and said 'Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes'.
The sudden pulling sensation of being sucked through the Floo Network had become second nature to her. It wasn't pleasant by any means, but it didn't make her nearly as nauseous as it used to. As she stepped out of the fireplace into George's living room she spotted him in the kitchen still in his work uniform, minus his jacket and tie. Charlie, on the other hand, was sat reading a book on dragons on the couch just across from where she now stood.
Both men looked at her as she appeared, although neither seemed shocked to see her. Their fireplace was only connected to a handful of others, so really, there were only so many options when it came to sudden visitors. Yet, she still thought he might have had some sort of reaction to seeing her so suddenly.
"Hi, Ellie," George said casually, "Want some tea?"
"Erm, sure." she replied, the hesitation in her voice was evident.
Charlie too seemed to sense some looming tension as he set down his book and looked between the two of them. Quickly deciding it would be best for them to be alone, he hopped up to his feet and clapped his hands together earning both of their attention.
"I just remembered, I think mum is making chicken pot pie tonight. Can't miss out on that! I'll see you both later."
Without another word, the former Dragonologist fled from the flat faster than Eloise assumed he'd ever run from the fire breathing creatures in his life.
George was already back busying himself in the kitchen, paying no mind to his brother's sudden departure. He taking his time meandering around the kitchen doing everything the muggle way. Normally that wouldn't bother Eloise, her grandparents were muggles after all, but she couldn't help but assume he was doing it to stall - wanting to do anything in his power to avoid their imminent conversation.
Eloise, however, was not interested in beating around the bush, "Why didn't you come back yesterday?"
In all honestly, she was testing him. Thanks to Verity she already knew he had in fact come back before he took one look at Maxwell, assumed the worst, and fled the scene as if he'd just witnessed a crime he wanted no part of.
"Why didn't you tell me you were expecting company?" he retorted with his back to her.
Checkmate.
"Is jumping to conclusions something you do just for fun? Or are you really looking for reasons for us to fail before we even begin?"
Her sudden attitude took him by surprise as he set the kettle on the stove and finally turned over his shoulder to face her, "I beg your pardon?"
"You heard me." Eloise said, crossing her arms over her chest with a scowl.
"Why was he there? You knew I was coming back, so why did you have him over? It seems a bit odd is all."
"I didn't. I spent all morning waiting for you and when I heard the knock I was so excited that you'd finally come back. Imagine my disappointment when it was him on the other side of the door and not you."
George let out a scoff, "You didn't look very disappointed to me."
Before Eloise could object, the kettle let out a loud whistle and George had turned his back on her once more. She watched him pull two mugs out of the cabinet, one of them being the same blue mug he always reserved just for her. The tin of her favorite tea had remained on the counter for all this time, seeing him pull two bags from it softened her demeanor, ever so slightly.
"Have a seat, Ellie." he suggested as he poured the water into each mug.
Without objection, she sat at the small kitchen table and waited. Patience was a virtue, one that Eloise felt she had mastered but was frankly quite sick of. Waiting for George to have a sudden change of heart felt endless. Before sitting down across from her, he placed the warm mug of Eloise's favorite tea in front of her, brewed perfectly as always. Three sugars and a splash of milk, he'd never forget.
The two of them sat silently for a moment before Eloise finally decided to follow Verity's advice and clear up all of George's assumptions.
"I really didn't know Maxwell was going to come over yesterday."
George merely let out a disinterested grunt as he sipped his tea, barely acknowledging the fact that she'd said anything at all.
"He dropped off a book I left at his flat and we said goodbye - for the last time." she quickly clarified.
His hazel eyes finally glanced up at her for a moment before he brought them back down to the wood table between them. He set down his mug and scratched at the stubble on his chin before letting out a sigh.
"I hated seeing him with you."
Eloise's brows knit into a frown, "I wish you had talked to me, I wish you hadn't just left like that. I could have explained everything to you."
"It's just easier to leave sometimes." he muttered.
At least he was being honest, but honesty in hindsight would never help them get past every barrier that kept them apart.
"We have to talk." Eloise started, as she pushed aside her tea, "About everything. We can't avoid it anymore. We've been through so much and it feels like we've ignored all of it, burying it away and pretending that nothing ever went wrong."
Eloise fully expected him to shut down the idea, to ask her to leave, to tell her it was no use. But instead, he finally met her eyes and nodded.
"Where should we start, then?"
It almost felt like they were about to begin an interrogation, although it wasn't clear who was the detective and who was the criminal. They were each other's judge, jury, and executioner in that moment.
"I'm not really sure if we should start at the beginning or keep talking about yesterday."
"Yesterday might be easier." he suggested.
Eloise nodded, knowing he was right. Recounting every wrong move they'd ever made in their relationship felt daunting, like something that would take weeks to unpack. Beginning with Sunday, with the morning he disappeared in a rush and ran away just as quickly when he saw Maxwell in her doorway.
"Where did you go when you left that morning?"
"I went to Alicia's." he said without hesitation.
"Oh bloody hell." she muttered before taking a sip of her tea.
Their conversation had only just begun and yet Eloise was already thinking this was a massive mistake.
"Oi, hold on. If this whole discussion is because you think I jump to conclusions, you don't get to go off making your own assumptions now."
Eloise pressed her lips into a thin line and crossed her arms over her chest, "Okay, so why were you there then?"
"I went there to tell her I didn't think it was healthy for us to be friends anymore. We'd just been holding each other back for months and been in denial about it the entire time. The whole thing was a mess and took a lot longer than I expected, she didn't really take it well." he explained casually.
"Oh." she muttered, not knowing what else to say.
"Look, I know I rushed out that morning and I should have actually paused and explained things to you. I just felt like we had already wasted so much of our time together, I wanted to get it over with and come back to you. Then when I saw you with Max it made me realize we didn't even talk about what exactly we want from each other. I was just being impulsive again, like always."
Eloise paused to process his explanation before responding, "What were you going to do when you came back? If you hadn't seen me with Max?"
"I wanted to talk about us, but after seeing you with him it made me realize how easy you were to lose and..." George trailed off as if he was already worried he'd said too much, "I don't know, I just gave up on that plan entirely."
"Well, we could talk about us now." she offered quietly.
"We could."
Another lengthly pause fell between them as they both gazed as their hands, the only sound breaking their silence was a steady drip from the faucet in the kitchen. Dripping in rhythm with her heart as she felt as though she was looking at their entire relationship from an outside perspective, almost feeling like an imposter in her own skin - allowing the fear of everything falling apart for one final time to manifest within her mind.
"I suppose this is the part where we go back to the beginning." she finally suggested.
"I suppose so." he agreed.
Eloise took a large sip of her tea before setting her mug aside and clasping her hands together, "I think we should set some ground rules first."
"Is that really necessary?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You have to admit that you and I aren't the best with this sort of thing. Every time anything serious comes up we get too emotional and jump to conclusions or run away. We can't do that today, if we're going to do this we have to be level-headed about it. Don't you think?"
"That sounds fair."
"First things first, I don't think we should make any decisions about what we want from each other or anything like that yet, at least not today. I think we just need to put all of our cards on the table, the rest can be figured out later."
"Makes sense to me."
"We should also get one skip." she suggested.
"One what?"
"If one of us asks a question the other absolutely doesn't want to answer, we can skip it with no questions asked. Only one, though. The rest we have to answer honestly, no matter how painful it might be."
"Is this some sort of game?" he asked with a smirk.
Eloise rolled her eyes, "If thinking of it that way helps us get through it, then sure."
"Do you want to go first, or should I?" he asked.
"Are you wanting to flip a coin?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"It really is a game, isn't it?" he chuckled as he dug through his pocket and pulled out one Sickle, "Heads for me, tails for you."
She nodded and watched as George flicked the coin in the air before catching it and placing it on the back of his other hand. When he pulled his hand away to reveal it, tails was the clear winner, Eloise had the floor.
"Go on then, love."
Where to begin? Although they had only known each other for a little less than two years, it felt like they had been through a lifetime together. Perhaps it was best to start off with something she considered a little easier.
"When did you develop feelings for me?"
George gazed off to the side for a moment as if he was replaying every moment of their relationship in his mind, "Do you mean when I realized I fancied you, or when I knew I'd actually fallen for you?"
"Either... both."
George chuckled, "I knew I was attracted to you that first night that Bill and Fleur brought you over for dinner at the Burrow. But I think the moment I fell for you was at their anniversary party."
"All the way back then?"
He nodded, "You barely even knew me and yet you came and sat with me. You actually cared enough to notice that I really didn't even want to be there," he smiled slightly, "Then we took that walk and I dunno... I guess that was just the first time I'd actually felt seen in a while. But, Merlin, I was scared."
"Scared? Why?"
"I think it's my turn to ask a question, but we can circle back to that." he smirked.
Eloise rolled her eyes, reluctantly playing by her own rules, "Fine."
"Did you ever have feelings for Maxwell?"
The urge to use her skip on his very first question was strong. Of course, she knew now that she never really did have feelings for Maxwell. It was doomed from the start, all because she was deeply and hopelessly in love with George. But there was no way she could tell him that. The last thing she wanted to do was scare him and drive him away. The 'L' word seemed like a guaranteed way to do just that. At least for now, she needed to keep her answers short and sweet.
"I was attracted to him, but I don't think I ever really had feelings for him."
"Not even a little bit?"
She shook her head, "I don't think so, it was always you."
Without asking for further clarification, George nodded. Although Eloise could see the fain hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips, "Your turn."
"Why were you scared? Or are you still scared?"
"Two questions in one? Is that against the rules?" he asked.
Eloise raised both brows at him, almost as a warning to not push his luck. He let out a chuckle and leaned forward in his seat to take another sip of his tea.
"I am still scared." he confessed, "I guess it's mostly because I still don't think I'm good enough for you, I don't think I can ever make you happy."
"That's not true." Eloise interrupted.
As much as George wanted to tease her again about the rules of their discussion (surely not interrupting had to be one of them) he didn't. Instead he continued his explanation.
"I make poor decisions all the time, Ellie, I don't want to drag you down with me. I do a lot of horrible things to hide how horrible I feel." he paused for a moment to gauge her reaction before he continued, "It's a lot for one person to put up with, I don't want to put you through that. I'm just worried about making you so miserable that you leave. I don't want to do that to you, I just want you to be happy. Someone else can make you happy."
Eloise sat there silently for a moment before finally responding, "I think you're letting your grief become who you are as a person. You're not your pain, you're George. You're intelligent, creative, so bloody funny, you're brilliant, and kind, and generous. Please don't make yourself believe that you're a horrible person, because that's just not the truth."
A frown was prominent on George's face as he shook his head, "You're too good, Ellie. Too good for me."
"I'm not too good, I have my own flaws. I'm enough for you, and you're enough for me. That's the truth."
George looked down into his now lukewarm mug of tea, contemplating his next question, "Do you really think you'll never be able to move on?"
It was obvious George held a lot of guilt for the feelings Eloise had for him. Even though he had no control over it, all he wanted to do was save her from himself.
"I don't know. In all honesty, I never really tried."
"What do you mean?"
"With Dhani, I tried to distract myself from my little crush on you I had at the time but he and I just weren't compatible. We were better as friends. With Max, I met him right after you rejected me. It was poor timing and I thought I could force myself move on if I spent all of my time with him, but I just couldn't. I probably didn't really give either of them a fair shot because I was too bloody focused on you."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I tried so hard to protect you from... well, me. Every time I pushed you away I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought you'd eventually find someone who could actually make you happy."
"When are you going to realize that's you? You make me happy, George. More than anyone else."
"All I've done is hurt you."
"That's not the truth. I have so many good memories with you, if I didn't, I wouldn't have fallen in- fallen so hard for you."
Eloise looked down at her hands after her near slip up, desperately hoping he hadn't noticed.
"Why did you stay? I'm not worth it." he muttered quietly.
"You are. I always held on to the hope that you'd come around. Whether or not that makes me stubborn or absolutely mad is up for debate, maybe I'm both." she replied with a slight chuckle.
"It just doesn't seem fair to you."
"Maybe not, but I'm a patient woman." she assured him.
"I really am sorry Eloise, for everything I've done. I wish I could take it all back."
She shrugged her shoulders, "It's part of our story."
Fleur was always adamant that, at each and every wrong turn, George and Eloise's story hadn't truly ended. Was the part-Veela also part-Seer? Or maybe she was just much more optimistic than both people sitting at George's kitchen table that evening.
"I wish our story was different." he sighed.
Eloise seemed to contemplate her response for a moment before speaking, "I used to think that, but I don't think I want anything to be different."
Now George was looking at her as if she really was mad, "You don't?"
She shook her head, "I think if we decided to be together months ago, it wouldn't have worked out. We both needed to discover more about ourselves first. Of course it hurt, but it felt like it was meant to happen that way."
She could tell George didn't fully agree with her, but he didn't seem to have the heart to argue that point with her. Or, maybe he too thought that whatever was left of their relationship was much too fragile for that right now.
"I have one more question." Eloise said after a moment.
"Go for it."
"Are you ready to be in a relationship?"
Such a simple question had so much riding on it. The foundation of it was always what drove him and Eloise apart in the end. It was never George's insecurities, or his endless grief that kept them apart. It was his unwillingness to ever even give them a chance at all.
A simple yes or no would make or break them. As the words left her lips she finally realized how much weight they truly had to them. She was already so deeply in love with him, she'd already confessed that it was nearly impossible for her move on from him. If he said no after all of this, she didn't know what she would do.
"I honestly don't know." he replied.
All of the oxygen in her chest felt like it had been sucked out of Eloise's lungs against her will. This was it, back to square one. An endless cycle, a losing game.
"But I think I could try." he added after a moment.
"What?" Eloise asked, doing very little to hide the shock in her voice.
"I don't know if I'm ready, I don't know if I'll ever really be ready. But I think I could to try."
The painful burning that had taken over her lungs as if she were suffocating disappeared and she let out a relieved sigh.
"Okay." was all she said as a sweet smile found it's way to her lips.
It was all she needed to say in that moment as the corners of George's lips curled up slightly at the sight of her smile.
Now that she had followed Verity's advice, all that was left to do was follow Percy's. Eloise knew exactly what would make her the happiest person on Earth. Spending every one of her sunsets with George. Waking up beside him,looking into his eyes first thing in the morning, feeling like the rest of her life was an endless sunrise. No more dark and cold nights, just her and George - forever.
But that would have to wait for another day.
For the first time in months Eloise felt hopeful. Maybe it was foolish and naive, but she didn't care in that moment. It felt like they finally had a chance. All of their cards were on the table, their souls bared, their thoughts heard. It felt like no matter what else had been left unsaid, they both knew all they needed to know, at least for now.
"Did you want to stay for dinner?" George asked, finally a question that had no consequences to it.
She reluctantly shook her head, "I promised Verity a few nights ago that we'd get Chinese take away, besides she'll be livid if I don't go right home and tell her everything we talked about."
George didn't even protest the idea of Verity knowing, she already knew everything about them anyway as if she was a permanent third wheel, "Well, if you ever find yourself with an empty fridge or a roommate that isn't craving lo mein, you know where to find me."
Eloise smiled brightly at him. Even though they had yet to decide anything, it felt like everything truly had been set right with them again. Like they were being reintroduced to each other and given a fresh start.
"I'll keep that in mind." she said she she turned to make her way back into the fireplace.
"Hold on, Elle, I actually think I have one more question." George said suddenly.
She paused and glanced over her shoulder at him, "What's that?"
"Can I kiss you goodbye?"
Eloise bit her bottom lip in a vain attempt at stopping herself from smiling like a love-sick fool, "I feel like that might be breaking one of our rules."
"As I recall, you said nothing about no kissing in your rules. Although, since you didn't use your skip, I suppose you could use it right now if you really wanted to."
"You're a nightmare." she giggled as she walked back and rested her hands against his chest, nervously playing with one of the buttons on his shirt with her fingers.
"Oh, I know darling." he replied with a grin as his hands instinctively found their way to her waist, holding her close.
"You don't have to ask permission every time you want to kiss me, you know."
"What can I say? I'm a gentleman."
She rolled her eyes, "One kiss. Don't get any other ideas."
He smirked with a mischievous glint in his eye, "I would never."
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