October 1999

The last few weeks had almost felt like a dream. Since George had visited Shell Cottage on that night in mid-September, the two of them had been getting along perfectly. There was no tension, no difficult conversations, no arguments. It felt content, as if there wasn't a single wave or ripple in the water that could cause them to drift apart.

It was blissful and innocent. Their time together felt like teenage love. Getting butterflies in their stomachs when catching each other's gazes, sharing secrets late into the night, sneaking kisses when no one was watching.

But it wasn't all perfect. There was still something standing in the way, something that Eloise couldn't get out of her mind.

She had been visiting the shop after work nearly every night, mostly to see George of course. But she would also occasionally help Verity and Charlie restock the shop while waiting for George to balance the accounts at the end of the day.

As Halloween approached, that night was no different as Eloise was roped into helping Verity decorate the store. Though she had a few ideas of her own, she never made any design suggestions. After working there for more than three years, Verity always knew exactly how she wanted the shop to look for each holiday and Eloise was more than willing to simply follow her orders.

"I'm going to have to start putting you on the payroll if you keep helping out, Elle." George smiled from the doorway of his office as he watched the girls decorate the windows with spiderwebs.

"I don't mind helping." she assured him.

"Want to come up for tea when you're done?" he asked.

Eloise gave him a warm smile, "That sounds lovely."

George gave her a short nod with a smirk as he loosened his tie and went up stairs. When Eloise turned back around to continue helping Verity, the short girl had a knowing look plastered on her face.

"What?" Eloise asked with furrowed brows.

"Oh nothing." she smiled innocently as she charmed a few of the lights in the store to glow green and purple.

"I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no."

"Oh, so you're a mind reader now?" Verity teased.

"You're thinking that George and I are together, but we're not." Eloise said firmly.

The truth was the hardest pill to swallow for Eloise. The constant reminder that behind all the casual kisses and warm hugs, there was still a man who had a barrier around his heart who'd never fully let her in.

But despite this, Eloise didn't want to do anything that could potentially push him away.

The affection he was willing to show her was more than he'd ever given before and she'd selfishly grown accustomed to it. Despite her desire to make their relationship more serious, she had convinced herself it wasn't worth the risk of losing what love he was willing to show her. Even if she knew deep down she wasn't truly satisfied with simply kissing and cuddling when they could be more, a warm hug always felt better than a cold shoulder.

But who could blame her? Every moment under his touch felt safe, if she could somehow live wrapped in his arms, she would. Even the simple moments felt like grand gestures of love.

Like when he would wrap an arm around her as they were having one of their late night chats on the couch, or how he wouldn't let her leave the flat at the end of the night without kissing him goodbye.

But her favorite was when he'd mindlessly play with her hair as she read aloud to him from one of her muggle books with her head laid in his lap as he dozed off to the soothing sound of her voice. It was almost everything she wanted.

But the one thing she still didn't have was him.

"Whatever you say, Eloise. You both look happy, so that's all I care about." Verity said genuinely.

"Right." Eloise nodded.

Happy. Was Eloise happy?

When it came to George, she didn't want to rock the boat, she really didn't. But everything felt like it was going too well, and part of her didn't trust it.

Behind closed doors George would shower her with kisses and hugs any time she pleased. But if Charlie or Verity were around, he'd keep her at arms length as if nothing had ever happened between them. While she knew that it wasn't because he was ashamed of her necessarily, it didn't take a genius to realize he didn't want anyone to think the two of them had anything going on.

Maybe it was because he didn't really want anything to be going on.

"We can stop for today if you like." Verity offered as she set the box of decorations behind the counter, "I need to go check on Charlie, I know he's been avoiding me today."

"Why?" Eloise asked, the worry in her voice was more obvious than she intended it to be.

Verity let out a chuckle, "Don't worry, we're fine. We're supposed to be having dinner with my parents this evening and I think he's taking longer in the stock room to avoid it."

"Oh, but that's exciting though, isn't it?"

"I think it is. But I think he's worried my parents won't approve of him being nearly six years older than me."

"I'm sure once they meet him, they'll love him. Fleur's parents were worried about Bill being older than her as well, but they absolutely adore him."

"I tried to tell him not to worry, I'm more nervous about having dinner with his parents honestly."

"Why is that? They're lovely."

Verity laughed, "Molly's very picky when it comes to who her sons date. You should know, I'm sure Fleur complained about her plenty."

"Oh, she did." Eloise reminisced with a smirk on her face, thinking back on the many owls she'd received the summer Bill first brought Fleur to the Burrow.

"Plus they just know me as Fred and George's troublemaking friend from school. They invited me over only one time before Molly more or less banned me for life. I think she thought I was a bad influence, but it really was Fred's fault." she recounted with a laugh.

"What on Earth happened?"

Verity shrugged casually, "We nearly killed George when we were trying to fix a toaster that Arthur had been working on."

"Okay, I need to hear this story." Eloise laughed.

"It was near Father's Day and they had the bright idea of fixing this toaster for their dad. Fred thought he knew how to get it working. But to make a long story short, under Fred's direction George was about two seconds away from shoving a screwdriver into the toaster while it was plugged in when Arthur came in and stopped us."

"How old were you?"

"Oh, probably twelve or thirteen. I still don't know if Fred was just clueless or if he was actually trying to get George electrocuted." she chuckled.

"Enough time has passed, I'm sure they'll laugh about it now." Eloise reassured her.

"I'd prefer if that story didn't come up at all, honestly."

Charlie finally emerged from the back of the store, seemingly shocked that the girls were still standing on the sales floor.

"Speak of the devil." Eloise teased.

"It's about time, you've already made us late." Verity scolded as Charlie wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Oi, take that up with George! He's the one who made me reorganize the stock room."

"Maybe Eloise can have a word with him if you like, it's the fourth night this week those two have had 'tea' after work, after all." Verity smirked.

Eloise's eyes widened at Verity's tone, "What do you mean by that exactly?"

"I don't know what you two get up to, I just know you spend an awful lot of time together. Maybe 'tea' means something else." she grinned with a sparkle of mischief in her eyes.

"Alright, leave her alone." Charlie chuckled.

"I'll have you know it really is just tea and a chat." (and the occasional kiss or two, but neither of them needed to know that)

"Well, we won't keep you. Enjoy your night with George." Verity winked.

Eloise rolled her eyes and fought back a smile, "Yeah, yeah."

The three of them went their separate ways as Charlie and Verity exited the shop and Eloise climbed the spiral staircase. The flat was starting to become like a second home to her, if she wasn't at Shell Cottage or at the Ministry, she was here.

But that didn't change the fact that as she reached for the handle, she was feeling quite uneasy. Maybe it was all of Verity's teasing, or the idea of her friend's relationship becoming so serious while hers remained one giant question mark that caused a sudden wave of uncertainty to consume her.

When Eloise entered the flat George had just exited his bedroom, having changed into an old pair of jeans and a brown knit sweater. Eloise set her purse down on the coffee table near the door, trying her best to leave her worries behind her and enjoy her time with him.

Without hesitation, he came over and rested his hand on the back of her head and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. While Eloise relished in his touch as she gazed up at his warm smile, the nagging in the back of her mind was slowly creeping forward, becoming impossible to ignore.

"Still in the mood for tea, love?" he asked casually, just as he had done countless times before.

"Sure, I was actually hoping we could talk about something."

Unwise to the thoughts inside Eloise's head, he happily nodded and made his way to the stove. Her eyes followed him throughout the room as she took a seat at the kitchen table, chewing on her bottom lip and unsuccessfully picking at the non-chip nail polish on her fingers.

She watched as he poured the water into a light blue mug that George had silently made Eloise's. Nearly every time he made tea for her it was given to her in that specific cup, and she couldn't help but find the gesture to be quite adorable.

Remembering that she always had her tea with three sugars and just a splash of milk, he prepared it flawlessly before quickly pouring his own cup. With mugs in hand, he sat across from her at the table and slid the perfectly prepared drink towards her.

Their fingers grazed each other for a brief moment as she reached for the cup and George looked up at her with a smile, but his expression fell slightly when their eyes met.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked carefully before taking a sip of his tea.

Eloise was tapping her nails nervously against the warm mug. His gaze felt like a spotlight on her, causing her heart to start skipping beats. She could feel the anxiety growing in her entire body as her fingers began to tingle and her face started feeling hot. Taking a long sip of her tea, she hoped the warm liquid would somehow calm her nerves.

She set down her tea and began idly playing with the swan charm on her bracelet,"I, uh-" she stammered.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, keeping a careful eye on her expression.

No, she thought to herself.

Her brows furrowed slightly, unsure of exactly how to answer that question. But as she looked across the table to a man who still truly wasn't hers, a sudden wave of frustration replaced her nerves. Perhaps it was just resentment masked as bravery that forced her to utter her next words.

"What am I to you?" she asked, probably a little more sternly than she intended.

"I- what?" he asked, clearly caught off guard by the sudden bluntness of her question, as if he'd just had ice cold water poured over his head.

Her lips pressed into a thin line, "Do you have feelings for me, George?"

George shook his head, though not to say no to Eloise's question, but rather as if the movement would somehow realign all of his thoughts that had been scattered the second the mood in the room had shifted. It was like her questions opened the filing cabinets of his mind and tossed the papers in the air, letting them delicately float to the ground in a haphazard mess.

"Where is this coming from?" he finally uttered after a moment.

"Please just answer the question." she sighed, growing impatient.

"Elle, do we really have to do this?" he groaned as he leaned back in his seat and ran a hand through his hair.

"Tell me." she insisted.

"Why does it matter?"

"It matters because I've completely fallen for you and I don't want to be wasting my time."

George broke his eyes away from her as the confession left her lips. It was everything he wanted and everything he feared.

Eloise couldn't handle sitting at that table staring at George acting so dismissively any longer. Pushing out her chair, she'd abandoned her tea and began pacing around the kitchen, nervously playing with the charm on her bracelet.

"What are we? What is this? What are we doing?" she asked, slightly raising her voice.

"Elle, please calm down." he said softly, sitting up straight in his seat as his eyes trained on her movement throughout the room.

She stopped in her tracks, the look in her eyes made him feel as if she could set him ablaze at any second.

"Then answer me, George! Because I don't know what this is anymore."

"You know I care about you, Elle. This isn't easy for me."

"What's not easy? Either tell me that you feel the same way or that you don't. It's simple."

George stood from the table and slowly approached her, grabbing her hands to stop her from tugging on the silver chain around her wrist.

"It's not that simple. Why can't we just have fun?"

"Fun?" she snapped, taking a step away from him with a frown on her face.

"Why can't we just keep hanging out and enjoying each other's company?" he groaned.

"Because I don't want fun. I want you, George."

"You have me!" he shouted.

"No I don't, George. Not fully."

"Why does it have to be all or nothing?"

"Why can't you just let me in?" she retorted.

"You know I can't." he faultered.

"Why not? Am I just a last resort for you?" she retaliated, feeling frustrated by his excuses.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm the only girl that is desperate enough to stick around long enough, aren't I? Maybe if I wait two or three more years you'll eventually decide to settle on me." her anger making her French accent even thicker than usual, but George understood every word loud and clear.

"You know that's not the truth."

"No, George, I don't."

Silence fell between the two as they looked at each other with eyes filled with anger and pain.

They knew their relationship would never be easy, but neither realized it would ever be this hard. There was no one Eloise cared about more than George, and he truly did care deeply about her as well. But there was something holding him back, part of him would always be too scared to love her.

"Tell me you don't feel the same way about me that I do about you. Tell me you don't think about me every minute of the day. Tell me you're not scared to lose me." she demanded with tears threatening to fall from her eyes, though George couldn't tell if they were caused by anger or longing.

The words leaving her lips seemed like a challenge, but they sounded more like a desperate plea. George let out a sigh as he broke his eyes away from her, finding the look on her face to be too painful to stomach.

There was no escaping this situation now, he knew he was the cause of her heartache. As much as he wanted things to stay exactly as they were, part of him always knew it wasn't realistic. A selfish and foolish wish that he could somehow have her to himself while also never committing to her.

"I do feel the same way, Elle." he finally muttered, almost as if he'd admitted defeat.

While it should have lifted a weight off her shoulders, the way he said it made it seem like it was the end of the world to him, rather than something to celebrate. It was almost as if he didn't want to feel anything he felt for Eloise, like it would've all been so much simpler for him if he never fell for her at all. Like his life would be easier had they never met.

"But?" she asked quietly, seemingly knowing exactly what George was thinking.

"But I can't be with you." he said apologetically, confirming all her fears.

While she had fully expected this, she couldn't prevent her frustration and sadness from coming close to boiling over as she struggled to hold back the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"Is it because of Alicia?" she asked suddenly, feeling as if she had nothing left to lose.

The utter shock in George's eyes when that name left her lips was evident as he quickly flicked his head up to her.

"Alicia? Who told you about her?"

"It doesn't matter." Eloise shook her head, thinking he was completely missing the point.

"It matters to me, who told you?" he demanded.

"Verity. Now tell me-"

"Of course she did." George interrupted as he rolled his eyes, "I haven't seen or talked to Alicia in over a year, Elle."

"So you're going to sit there and tell me she doesn't matter? That what she did to you doesn't matter?"

"That she broke my heart? Yeah, I suppose that matters a bit, wouldn't you say?" his own frustration was growing to match the woman before him.

"Just tell me if that's what's holding you back."

George let out a groan, "I don't know, Elle."

"I promise I wouldn't leave you like that, George." her voice suddenly softening.

"I know you wouldn't."

"Then what is it?"

George ran his hands over his face and through his hair. He really didn't want to have this conversation, he knew he was edging closer and closer to slamming the door shut on their relationship for good.

But in his mind rejecting her would ultimately be saving her from more pain down the line. He truly believed them being together would lead to nothing but misery for her once she realized he'd never be enough.

He finally brought his eyes to her and reached out his hands for her to take. Her gazed flicked between his hands and his eyes, almost as if she expected it to be a trap. But she finally took a careful step towards him, laying her hands in his. George looked into her eyes and rubbed his thumbs over the back of her hands. As difficult as it was, he wanted her to know he was pushing her away because of him, not because of anything she'd done.

"I'm not good enough for you, Elle. I can't make you happy. You deserve to be with someone who loves with their entire heart, and I can't do that. You deserve better than me, better than someone broken."

"If you feel broken let me help you pick up the pieces." she pleaded, unable to hide the desperation in her voice.

"You can't help me, Elle. I'm just a lost cause. I'm sorry." he shook his head.

"You're not. If you let me in, I know I can help you. I'll always be here for you." she said softly.

George merely shook his head, "You don't get it. I'm not a project, I can't be fixed."

There was a tone of resentment in his voice, but Eloise couldn't exactly tell if the anger was directed at her or at himself. Something had switched in his demeanor, he seemed more guarded and cold.

"I'm not trying to fix you." Eloise said quietly, pulling her hands away and taking a step back.

"It sure seems like it, Elle. What are you gonna do in a few years, get bored? Try to find a new project?" he asked bitterly.

"What? No, I-"

"You just love the idea of me, don't you? Someone who needs to be saved. Someone you can take care of, right?"

Eloise couldn't find her voice, all she could do was shake her head.

"Right?" he asked her again even louder, demanding an answer.

"N-No." she choked out, fighting back tears.

George brushed past her, returning to the kitchen, suddenly wanting to put as much distance between them as possible.

"We were fine until you brought this up, why'd you have to fuck everything up?" he shouted.

"I fucked everything up?" she asked, offended that he somehow had twisted the situation back on her.

"We were happy, Eloise. Until you felt the need to give me some sort of ultimatum."

"I wasn't happy George, if I was I wouldn't have said anything!" she retaliated.

"Could've bloody fooled me, then." he scoffed under his breath as he rolled his eyes.

"You're an arse sometimes, you know that?"

"Tell me something I don't know, love." he sneered.

The smug look on his face made Eloise's blood boil. Her only crime was loving him when he was incapable of loving himself and that somehow had turned her into the villain in his eyes. Or maybe he was just projecting how he felt about himself onto her. With how difficult he was to read she could never really be sure.

"You really think all I see you as is a project, George?"

"I'm just calling it like I see it." he replied coolly.

"Then you really must be clueless." she muttered.

"Why are you making this so complicated, Elle?"

"Me? You're the one who's making it complicated, George! Every time we take two steps forward we fall eight steps back."

"Yes you! You keep pushing me when I've told you more than once that I'm just not ready. Why is it my fault that you just don't listen?"

"I can't keep playing your games, George, they're killing me." she shook her head, "I can't keep doing this, I feel like I'm drowning."

"I'm not playing games!"

"Oh really? Pushing me away and pulling me back in for a year isn't playing with my emotions?"

"You act like I did it to intentionally hurt you." he frowned.

"Well, it felt that way! It still feels that way when you kiss me like you want me but turn around and say that you don't."

"I do want you. I just can't have you."

The two of them stood across from each other scowling in silence, the length of the room somehow felt like it was growing longer as their argument put more and more distance between their hearts.

Eloise's frustration was reaching a boiling point as she let out a loud groan. It felt like they were going around in circles, digging themselves into a rut that would lead to nowhere.

"You're making it hard for me to want to stay." she muttered under her breath.

"So then leave! I told you I can't be with you. I can't give you what you want, so just go." he said loudly gesturing towards the door.

Heartbreak was all Eloise felt. The mind-numbing pain of loss, of feeling that everything she'd ever hoped for was being ripped out of her grasp. She knew coming into this that rejection was a possibility, but she didn't realize it would completely shatter her.

He truly was firewhisky.

Eloise had been consumed by his warmth, naively growing accustomed to the way his presence made her feel content and happy. But now it burned. It hurt in a way she knew would linger the next day when she woke up filled with regret.

"I don't want to leave, George. I don't want to give up on you." Eloise met his gaze, and for a split second she swore she saw his expression soften before he went right back to scowling at her.

"This isn't me, whoever you think you fell for isn't really me. You don't know me, Eloise, and you never will. So just get it out of your head that we'll ever be together. It'll be easier for both of us if you just move on."

George was doing everything in his power to push her away now. Whether he meant the words leaving his lips or not, it didn't change the fact that they were a dagger stabbing into her heart.

"You don't mean that." she shook her head.

"I do mean it. Every single word."

A single tear fell from Eloise's eye and she quickly wiped it away with the sleeve of her cardigan, not wanting to appear weak in front of him. The last thing she wanted to give him was the satisfaction of her defeat.

All she knew was that she needed to leave. She quickly turned around without another word and grabbed her purse, hastily digging through her belongings desperately trying to find her wand through the blurry vision caused by her tears.

This was far worse than she could have ever possibly imagined. Of course she knew it wouldn't be easy, she didn't think he'd profess his undying love for her in some grand gesture but she certainly didn't expect him to completely lock her out. It was as if he was desperately trying to close the chapter of their lives together and erase her from his past.

But the sight of her getting ready to leave his flat seemed to switch something in his brain. George knew he had been too harsh, the honest truth was that he was afraid. Afraid of the inevitable fact that he was already completely consumed by his love for her. Afraid of the fact that he would never be enough. Afraid that they would somehow end up breaking each other's hearts whether it was tonight or in five years. In his mind it would happen no matter what they did, their fate was already written.

Every doubt and fear was a culmination of his unresolved heartache. It wasn't either of their fault that they hadn't ever met before Fred died. They were just a product of unfortunate circumstance.

"Fuck. Elle, wait. I'm sorry." George pleaded as he watched her walk to the front door, his voice much softer now.

Eloise paused for a moment, her hand grasped firmly on the handle as she teetered between disappearing into the night and running into his arms. Though she didn't dare meet his eyes, she felt him walk up behind her as he pressed his hand to the door preventing her escape.

"If I leave, it's over George. I can't do this anymore." she sighed, too tired to keep fighting with him.

"Turn around, Elle." George said quietly.

Eloise's body seemed to move in auto-pilot as she slowly turned around to face him, unable to hide the pain in her eyes as she met his gaze. All of their anger with one another dissolved the second their eyes met and a tear slowly trickled down Eloise's cheek.

George pulled his hand away from the door to wipe it away with his thumb as he rested his hand on the side of her face. Letting go of the handle, her hand rested over his as she looked deeply in his eyes, almost as if she were silently begging him to ask her to stay.

"George-" Eloise started, but was cut off when he pressed his lips against hers.

The kiss was soft, but filled with longing as the taste of her strawberry lip balm mixed with the salt from her tears. But it didn't feel like every other kiss they'd had before, it almost felt like a goodbye.

"Ask me to stay." Eloise whispered against his lips as she pulled away slightly, resting her hands on his chest, feeling the pounding of his heart against his ribs.

George didn't respond immediately, he merely rested his forehead against hers and took in a deep breath as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. Eloise closed her eyes as she laid her head against his chest, focusing solely on the scent of brown sugar and firewhisky that she suddenly felt she had been taking for granted.

"Please, George." she begged, forgoing all dignity as she desperately wanted him to love her back.

Again, he refused to respond to her. All he did was pull away from her slightly, gazing at her face as if he were desperately trying to memorize every single feature. How the freckles on her skin formed their own constellations that were so uniquely hers. Focusing on the way her curls never fell the exact same way each day, but always framed her face beautifully regardless. Noticing that her blue eyes always looked so bright when she gazed at him, but hating that they somehow sparkled even more with tears in them.

He leaned forward to kiss away the tears that had stained her cheeks, causing her to let out a soft sigh and close her eyes. His touch almost felt like a promise, but the words that were about to leave his lips said otherwise.

"I can't make you happy."

"Don't let me go." she choked out in a whisper.

"I have to, I'm sorry."

-

A/N: I'M SO SORRY!

Don't mind me, just sobbing my eyes out as I wrote this chapter.

But don't worry, I promise George and Elle's story isn't even close to over yet!