[Barf Mailleu Lexington walks on stage from the left side with a DS in hand]

Barf: Okay...all I have to do is explain it was an accident. It's not like she will murder him. I know she cared about it dearly...but maybe she'll understand...Hopefully...

[Barf is shortly followed by May Ketchup]

May: Why do you have my DS Barf...?

Barf: (Quickly places the DS in his pocket) What DS...? I have no idea what you're talking about...

May: ...You're a terrible liar

Barf: Aren't we all...?

May: But there are just times where I just can't tell if you're just a terrible liar, or just being serious...and this is one of those times.

Barf: I'm always serious Ms. Ketchup.

May: Sure you are...Now tell me why-

[A character comes in from the right side of the stage

this character is identified as ELIZABETH SMITH .]

Elizabeth: Sometimes, I clearly can't tell if you two are idiots for walking into this empty void of space.

Barf: Does that make you an idiot as well for walking in on us as well...?

Elizabeth: Of course not you depressed child. Unlike you two I am not depressed, In fact I'm the exact opposite. Which (throws out her hands) obviously makes me a completely different person from you two.

May: ...Right...

Barf: Incredible logic, I honestly don't know what even goes on in your mind.

Elizabeth: Well obviously my thoughts are centered around me! What about you two losers?

May: ...The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma...

Barf: Uh nothing! Nothing at all is going on through my mind! Just normal mind stuff! Like...uh...global warming...and save f-...I mean save f....FRIENDS!

Elizabeth: ...You want to save...Friends?

Barf: I mean yeah...Uh i'm just wondering when...Monica and Ross g...get together...

May: you stupid child. MONICA AND ROSS ARE SIBLINGS!

Elizabeth: What exactly were you talking about before I came in...?

Barf: Nothing!...W-We were talking about absolutely nothing!

[May thinks extremely hard, before being hit with realization]

May: OH! Barf why-

[May gets cut off by a girl running on stage]

JC: YOU!

Everybody: [in sync] Who?

JC: BARF MAILLEU LEXINGTON!

Barf: Right I exist.

JC: I'm aware. YOU BETTER EXPLAIN WHERE IS MAY'S CAT!

Barf: ...Listen I really don't have time to worry about that cat. I have bigger things to feel guilty about

May: Wait what?

Barf: NOTHING. I mean nothing.

Elizabeth: (Crosses her arms) Come clean Barf!

Barf: (Considers coming clean for a moment) ...It's just that...people do things that...well they don't really mean to do...

May: ...Barf...please just tell us what you did.

Barf: Something unforgivable that doesn't matter...Because I'm a terrible person at this point.

JC: Big deal. Let me let you in on a secret Barf

Barf: Okay what's the secret.

JC: NOBODY CARES!

Barf: Hey excuse me, what's not to care about when a mentally ill loner makes a mistake

Mary: Okay this is a fun distraction, but can we please get back to the problem.

JC; Hold on May, I'm-

Elizabeth: Hey! You know what's fun? Talking about me!

Barf: See! This is exactly why I can't tell you people anything. You call me mentally insane and one who trusts no one. But look at you! You're even worse than I am!

JC: At least we own up to our mistakes, what do you do? Sit around and feel guilty that's what!

Elizabeth: What we are trying to get out is the fact that you don't understand true happiness!

May: EVERYONE BE QUIET!

[Stage becomes quiet as May walks towards the middle of the stage]

May: Don't you understand what's going on. I'm trying to find out what's going on with Barf. But I can't. Can you at least do me a favor and let me fix Barf!

JC:(Crosses her arms)It's not like he needs fixing to be honest.

[While May Ketchup, JC, and Elizabeth Smith.Barf Mailleu Lexington is slowly having a mental breakdown as he sits on the ground and rocks himself back and forth]

May:(Points at Barf) Really now?! He's a mess going crazy with whatever guilt is consuming him at this point.

JC: What do you expect me to do. Pat him on the head and assure him everythings okay?

Elizabeth: Well, hate to break it to you but Barf isn't a dog.

JC: No duh sherlock!

UM-
I'M SO MAD I NEVER FINISHED WRITING THIS-

Something of a fun-fact-

I LOVE writing short plays. I write them and try to write music as well. I wrote this for drama club last year and we were supposed to perform it in front of a bunch of people, But CORONA Happened, so I never finished it cause I just felt sad, lmao-

Also, Um Don't question the names, my friends were making up their characters and asked me to do them, lmao-

Also there is another version of this script that has all the no-no words, but I couldn't share it cuz, s c h o o l - 

Anyway, just wanted to share that