Sometimes I feel like I'm being too desperate for attention.

Like, a lot of times, I'll constantly spam the refresh button to see if I have new notifications.

I'll get my hopes up when we have mail, then be disappointed when there's none for me, which should be routine for me by now because the only mail I get other than postcards from my dad (which I love getting, and I've been getting a lot recently, but for a while I didn't get any at all) is birthday or holiday cards from friends and distant family, or maybe the occasional thank-you note from people that I've played for.

I always imagine me being put on the spot in the middle of announcements at school, or in front of chapel or another gathering.

I love it when I'm bragged in and admired.

I don't know why I'm like this, because I hate attention sometimes...

I hate when grandma points out my flaws.

I hate when people try to talk to me at school.

I hate the thought of being the absolute center of attention.

I hate speaking in front of people or even reading out loud.

...

Idk