( TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE )

SUN 'N SANDS MOTEL
[ ☼ ]

       "We now return to Supernatural."

        "Son of a bitch!" Dean yells. Laugh track. Applause. Sam goes over to the bikini Woman, glaring over his shoulder at Dean.

       "Uh, I am really, really, very sorry, but, uh, we've got some work to do." Sam escorts the Woman to the door.

       "But we did do work! In depth." She says. Laugh track. Dean waves at her as she leaves. Sam shuts the door and shakes his head.

      Dean speaks through a forced smile. "How long do we have to keep doing this?" He asks.

       "I don't know." Elena says. Applause.

      "Maybe forever?" Sam asks. Laugh track. "We might die in here." Laugh track.

       "How was that funny? Vultures." Dean says. Laugh track. The door opens; it's Castiel, with minor injuries. Applause. "You okay?"

       "I don't have much time." Castiel says.

       "What happened?" Sam asks.

       "I got out."

       "From where?" Dean asks.

       "Listen to me. Something is not right. This thing is much more powerful than it should be."

       "What thing-the Trickster?" Asks Dean.

       "If it is a trickster." Says Cas.

       "What do you mean?" Sam asks. Castiel is flung backwards into the wall, his face hidden.

       The Trickster appears at the door. "Hello!" He yells. Applause and cheers. Castiel gets up; his mouth has been duct-taped shut. "Thank you. Thank you, ladies." Castiel glares at the him. "Hi, Castiel!" The Trickster gestures at Castiel, who vanishes in a burst of static.

       "You know him?" Sam asks.

       "Where did you just send him?" Dean asks.

       "Relax, he'll live. ...Maybe." Laugh track.

       "All right, you know what? I am done with the monkey dance, okay? We get it." Dean says.

       "Yeah? Get what, hotshot?" The Trickster asks.

       "Playing our roles, right? That's your game?" Elena asks.

      "That's half the game."

      "What's the other half?" Sam asks.

       "Play your roles out there."

       "What's that supposed to mean?" Asks Dean.

       "Oh, you know. Sam starring as Lucifer. Dean starring as Michael. Elena starring as Katherine. Your celebrity death match. Play your roles."

       "You want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?" Sam asks.

      "Hells yeah. Let's light this candle!" The Trickster yells.

       "We do that, the world will end." Says Elena.

       "Yeah? And whose fault is that? Who popped Lucifer out of the box? Hm? Look, it's started. Sam started it. It can't be stopped. So let's get it over with!" Sam glares.

       "Heaven or hell, which side you on?" Dean asks.

       "I'm not on either side."

       "Yeah, right. You're grabbing ankle for Michael or Lucifer. Which one is it?" Asks Dean.

       "You listen to me, you arrogant dick. I don't work for either of those S.O.B.s. Believe me." The Trickster says.

       "Oh, you're somebody's bitch." Dean says.

       The Trickster's smile vanishes. He grabs Dean by the collar and slams him into the wall. "Don't you ever, ever presume to know what I am. Now listen very closely. Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna suck it up, accept your responsibilities, and play the roles that destiny has chosen for you." He says.

       "And if we don't?" Elena asks.

       The Trickster grins. "Then you'll stay here in TV Land. Forever. Three hundred channels and, uh, nothing's on." He snaps his fingers.

PARK
[ ☾]

       A Man lies on the ground with a stomach wound. Crime-scene markers surround him and cameras flash. Dean and Sam are standing outside the crime-scene tape, watching the various extras work. Elena is already at the crime scene as a cop. Dean and Sam turn around; they're wearing suits with matching blue shirts and sunglasses.

       "Oh, come on." Dean says.

       A Police Officer ducks under the crime scene tape. "So, what do you think?" He asks.

       "What do I think? I think go screw yourself, that's what I think." Dean says.

       "Uh, could you give us a sec, please?" Sam asks. "Thanks." The Officer nods and turns away. "You gotta calm down."

      "Calm down? I am wearing sunglasses at night." Dean yanks them off. "You know who does that? No-talent douchebags." Sam nods in agreement. "I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show and you wanna know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like three hundred of them on television and they're all the freaking Same. It's ooh, plane crashed here-oh shut up."

       Sam notices something at the crime scene and takes off his sunglasses. "Hey." He says.

       "What?" Dean asks.

        "Check out sweet tooth over there." Sam says. "Next to Elena." The Officer is sucking a lollipop.

        "Think that's him?" Dean asks. Music reminiscent of The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" begins to play.

       "Just, um, follow my lead." Sam goes over to the body and Dean follows. They both put on their sunglasses as the crime-scene tape is raised to let them under.

       "You, uh, you okay?" The Officer asks.

        "Yeah. What do we got?" Dean asks.

       The Officer kneels next to the body. "Well, aside from the ligature marks around his neck, he has what appears to be a roll of quarters jammed down his throat." He says. Dean takes off his sunglasses, gets out a flashlight, and takes a closer look. Sam also takes off his sunglasses.

       "Well I say, jackpot." Sam says. The Officer looks up, snorting in amusement. Sam puts his sunglasses back on.

       "Also, there is a stab wound to the lower abdomen." The Officer indicates the bloodstain with his lollipop.

       Dean grabs a stick and pokes at the hole in the shirt with it, getting blood on the stick, then puts his sunglasses back on. "Well I say, no guts, no glory." He says. The Officer laughs. Sam puts his sunglasses back on.

      "Get that guy a Tums." Sam says.

       "Gutter ball." Dean says as Elena shakes their heads at them.

       The Officer keeps laughing. "Good one, guys." He says. Dean comes around behind him with the stick. The Officer turns toward Dean, who stabs him with it. Internal view of the stake piercing a beating heart. The Officer collapses, struggling to breathe. None of the extras notice or care except another Officer, who starts laughing and morphs into the Trickster.

      "You've got the wrong guy, idiots."

       "Did we?" Dean asks as Elena stakes the Trickster from behind. He falls over. A burst of static.

WAREHOUSE
[ ☼ ]

       The Trickster is still down with the stake through him. Dean and Sam are back in the clothes they were wearing when they entered the warehouse.

DARK MOTEL ROOM
[ ☼ ]

       Dean finishes brushing his teeth and spits. "I'm worried, man. What that SOB did to Cas. You know, where is he?" He asks. No response. "Sam? Elena?" The room is empty. "Where are you?"

      Dean heads for the Impala, his phone to his ear. Sam on phone It's Sam. Leave me a message. Dean gets in the car. "Sam. It's me. Where the hell did you go?" Dean snaps the phone shut.

      "Dean?" Sam's voice sounds odd. Dean looks around. Sam isn't in the car.

      "Sam? Where are you?" Dean asks.

       "I don't know." Sam says and Dean notices a red light on the dashboard. It flashes in time with Sam's words. "Oh crap. I don't think we killed the Trickster."

      The Knight Rider theme plays. The Impala has acquired red flashing lights under the front grille as well. Dean drives. He sees someone put on the road with their thumb up and wearing a slinky outfit. It's Elena. He pulls over and she gets in.

      "What are you wearing?" Dean asks.

      "Don't ask." Elena says as Dean starts driving again, taking glances at Elena's exposed body. "Eyes on the road."

       "Sorry." Says Dean. "Okay, stake didn't work. So, what, this is another trick?"

      "I don't know. Maybe the stake didn't work because it's not a trickster?" Sam asks.

      "Is that-" Elena asks as she points to the radio.

       "Yep." Dean says and then addresses Sam. "What do you mean?"

       "You heard Cas. He said this thing was too powerful to be a trickster." Sam says.

      "And did you notice the way he looked at Cas? Almost like he knew him." Says Elena.

      "And how pissed he got when Dean brought up Michael and Lucifer." Sam says.

      "Son of a bitch."

       "What?" Sam asks.

        "I think I know what we're dealing with."

WILDERNESS AREA
[ ☼ ]

       Dean rummages in the trunk of the car. "Dean?" Sam asks.

       "What?"

       "That, uh, feels really uncomfortable." Sam says as Dean shuts the trunk. "Ow. You sure this is gonna work?"

      "No, but I have no other ideas." Dean goes to the front of the car and shouts at the sky. "All right, you son of a bitch! Uncle! We'll do it!"

      "Should I honk?" Sam asks.

      The Trickster, appears from nowhere "Wow. Sam. Get a load of the rims on you." He says as Elena exits the car.

      "Eat me." Sam asks.

       "Okay, boys. Elena. Ready to go quietly?"

       "Whoa whoa whoa, not so fast. Nobody's going anywhere until Sam has opposable thumbs." Dean says.

       "What's the difference? Satan's going to ride his ass one way or another." The Trickster says and Dean looks at him. He rolls his eyes and snaps his fingers. The Kitt lights on the car go out and Sam gets out of the car. "Happy?"

       "Tell me one thing. Why didn't the stake kill you?" Dean asks.

       "I am the Trickster."

       "Or maybe you're not." Dean says. Sam holds up a flaming cigarette lighter and tosses it down. A ring of fire springs up around the Trickster. "Maybe you've always been an angel."

       The Trickster looks incredulous, then laughs. "A what? Somebody slip a mickey in your power shake, kid?" He asks.

      "I'll tell you what. You just jump out of the holy fire and we'll call it our mistake." Dean says. The Trickster laughs, then stops laughing: he's caught. A burst of static.

REALITY

WAREHOUSE
[ ☼ ]

      Elena is back to her regular clothes and she sighs in relief. The Trickster claps. "Well played, guys. Well played. Where'd you get the holy oil?" He asks.

      "Well, you might say we pulled it out of Sam's ass." Says Dean.

       "Where'd I screw up?"

      "You didn't. Nobody gets the jump on Cas like you did." Sam says.

       "Mostly it was the way you talked about Armageddon." Dean says.

       "Meaning?"

       "Well, call it personal experience, but nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family."

       "So which one are you?" Sam asks.

       "Grumpy, Sneezy, or Douchey?" Elena finishes.

       "Gabriel, okay? They call me Gabriel."

       "Gabriel? The archangel?" Sam asks.

       "Guilty."

       "Okay, Gabriel. How does an archangel become a trickster?" Asks Dean.

       "My own private witness protection. I skipped out of heaven, had a face transplant, carved out my own little corner of the world. Till you three screwed it all up." Gabriel says.

       "What did Daddy say when you ran off and joined the pagans?" Dean asks.

      "Daddy doesn't say anything about anything."

      "Then what happened? Why'd you ditch?" Elena asks.

      "Do you blame him? I mean, his brothers are heavyweight douchenozzles." Dean says.

       "Shut your cakehole. You don't know anything about my family. I love my father, my brothers. Love them." Says Gabriel. "But watching them turn on each other? Tear at each other's throats? I couldn't bear it! Okay? So I left. And now it's happening all over again."

      "Then help us stop it." Sam says.

      "It can't be stopped."

      "You wanna see the end of the world?" Dean asks.

      "I want it to be over! I have to sit back and watch my own brothers kill each other thanks to you three!" Gabriel yells. "Heaven, hell, I don't care who wins, I just want it to be over."

      "It doesn't have to be like that. There has to be some way to, to pull the plug." Sam says.

      Gabriel laughs. "You do not know my family. What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other. You'd think you'd be able to relate." He says.

      "What are you talking about?" Elena asks.

       "You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. You were born to this, boys. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other. And the girl chooses the side." Gabriel says.

      "What do you mean 'the girl chooses the side'?" Elena asks.

      Gabriel rolls his eyes. "I see you haven't accessed your full memory yet. Let me break it down for you. Katherine was a scheming, conniving little witch who liked to stick her nose into about everything. Somehow Lucifer took a liking to her, but so did his brother, Michael." He says.

      "Wait wait wait." Elena says. "Katherine was with Michael, too?" She asks.

       "Ding ding ding." Gabriel says. "Even though they were Angels, the two fought over her, but in the end, she chose Lucifer. I guess she always had a little darkness in her. Just like you, Elena."

      "What the hell are you saying?" Dean asks.

      "Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always." A long pause.

      Sam and Dean look down, then at each other. "No. That's not gonna happen." Dean says.

      "I'm sorry. But it is." Gabriel sighs. "Guys. I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers, endings wrapped up in a bow...but this is real, and it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gotta be." He says. "So. Boys. Now what? We stare at each other for the rest of eternity?"

      "Well, first of all, you're gonna bring Cas back from wherever you stashed him." Dean says.

      "Oh am I."

      "Yeah. Or we're going to dunk you in some holy oil and deep-fry ourselves an archangel." Dean says. Gabriel snaps his fingers. Castiel appears.

      "Cas, you okay?" Elena asks.

      "I'm fine. Hello, Gabriel." Castiel says.

      "Hey, bro. How's the search for Daddy going? Let me guess. Awful." Gabriel says as Castiel glares.

       "Okay, we're out of here. Come on, guys." Dean turns and walks away.

       "Uh. Okay. Guys?" Gabriel says as Sam and Elena follow Dean. "So, so what? Huh?" Castiel follows Dean. "You're just gonna, you're gonna leave me here forever?"

      Dean stops at the door and turns back. "No. We're not, 'cause we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record? This isn't about some prize fight between your brothers or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family." He pulls the fire alarm. Gabriel looks up; the sprinklers go off. "Don't say I never did anything for you." Gabriel glares.

      Dean leaves, Sam and Elena right behind. Castiel looks back for a moment and follows. The fire goes out; apparently in this world water extinguishes grease fires instead of spreading them.

      The Impala is exactly where Dean and Sam left it. Dean and Sam go up to it. Castiel hangs back. "All that stuff he was spouting in there, you think it was the truth?" Dean asks.

       "I think he believes it." Sam says.

       "So what do we do?" Elena asks.

       "I don't know." Sam says.

       "Well I'll tell you one thing. Right about now I wish I was back in a TV show." Says Dean.

       "Yeah, me too." Sam says. Sam, Elena and Dean get in the car.