( ABRAHAM LINCOLN )

NITE OWL MOTEL
[ ☼ ]

       Dean grabs his shirts out of a drawer and shoves them in his bag. "Ready to blow this joint?" He says. Sam comes out of the bathroom, zipping up his toiletries bag.

      "Dean, didn't it strike you as strange the way Gandhi just...vanished?" Sam asks.

       "Strange how?" Dean asks.

       "No screaming, no big flame-out, I mean, that isn't the way ghosts usually go." Sam says.

      "Still, I torched, he vanished."

      "Yeah, but I-" Sam sighs. "Also, I feel like he was...trying to take a bite out of me."

      "A bite?" Elena asks.

      "Yeah, like he was hungry. But the thing is, Gandhi-or, the real Gandhi-he was a-" Sam starts.

      "A what?" Dean asks and Sam hesitates. "Spit it out."

      "He was a fruitarian." Sam says.

       Dean stares at Sam, then laughs. "Let me get this straight. Your, uh, ultimate hero was not only a short man in diapers, but he was also a fruitarian?" He asks.

      "That's not the point."

      "That is good. That is-even for you, that is good." Says Dean.

       "Look, I'm just saying, I'm not so sure this thing is over." Sam says.

      Dean spreads his arms. "It was a ghost. It was a weirdly super-charged fruitarian ghost, but it was still a ghost. Now let's go." Dean picks up his bag.

      "So first you drag me into town, and now you're dragging me back out." Sam says.

      "You ain't steering this boat. Let's go, chop chop." Dean walks towards the door.

     "You know, this isn't gonna work." Sam says.

       Dean stops and turns. "What isn't?" He asks.

      "Us. You, me, together, I-I thought it could, but it can't." Sam says.

      "You're the one that wanted back in, chief." Dean says.

     "And you're the one who called me back in."

      "I still think we got some trust building to do." Says Dean.

      "How long am I gonna be on double-secret probation?" Sam says.

      Dean shrugs. "Till I say so." He says.

      "Look. I know what I did. What I've done. And I am trying to climb out of that hole, I am, but you're not making it any easier."

      "Guys..." Elena says.

      "So what am I supposed to do, just let you off the hook?" Dean asks.

      "No. You can think whatever you want. I deserve it, and worse. Hell, you'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself, but the point is, if we're gonna be a team, you and I-it has to be a two-way street."

      "So we just go back to the way we were before?" Dean asks.

      "No, because we were never that way before. Before didn't work." Sam says as Dean frowns. "How do you think we got here?"

      "What's that supposed to mean?" Asks Dean.

      "Dean, one of the reasons I went off with Ruby...was to get away from you." Sam says.

      "What?" Elena asks.

      "It made me feel strong. Like I wasn't your kid brother." Sam says.

      "Are you saying this is my fault?"

      "No, it's my fault. All I'm saying is that, if we're gonna do this, we have to do it different, we can't just fall into the Same rut." Sam says.

      Dean shakes his head. "What do you want me to do?" He asks.

      "You're gonna have to let me grow up, for starters." Dean says.

      Dean's cell phone rings. He stares at Sam, then puts his bag down and answers it. "Yeah?" He looks to Sam, then away again. "Yeah. Yeah, okay." Dean hangs up. "I guess you were right about this not being over."

SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT
[ ☼ ]

      Sam, Elena and Dean, back in suits, walk in and head straight over to Rick, who is sitting at a desk. "Sheriff Carnegie?" Sam asks.

      "Sheriff, what happened?" Asks Elena.

      "I, uh, uh..." Rick shrugs and shakes his head. "I don't know!" He indicates the interview room where two Young Women are sitting at the table, crying. Dean and Sam walk in.

      "Excuse us, girls. Hi, we're with the FBI." Dean says.

      "Can you tell us what happened?" Sam asks.

      "It was horrible!" One Girl says.

      "Way horrible."

      "What was horrible?" Sam asks.

      "I thought she'd be nice!" Yells Girl One.

      Girl Two looks at Girl One. "I still can't believe it." She says.

      "Believe what?" Dean asks.

       "She took Danielle!"

      "Who?" Elena asks. The Girls look at each other.

      "It's okay, you're safe, just, tell us. Who took your friend?" Sam asks.

      "It was...Paris Hilton." Girl Two says. Dean and Sam stare.

      "Sorry?" Sam asks.

      "She looked really good, though." Girl Two says.

      "Skinny!"

      "Skinny and fast." Says Girl Two.

      "Mm."

      "What-wait-huh?" Asks Dean.

      "Uh, um...where did they go?" Sam asks.

      Girl One shakes her head. "We don't know." She says.

      "They just vanished."

      "Would you excuse us for just a minute?" Dean asks. He and Sam walk back to the doorway and speak just above a whisper. "Paris Hilton's not dead as far as we know, right?"

      "Pretty sure, no." Sam says.

      "Which means it's not a-" Dean starts.

      "Ghost. No."

      "So, what? Paris Hilton is a homicidal maniac-" Starts Dean.

      "Or we missed something." Sam says.

      "What do you wanna do?"

MORGUE
[ ☼ ]

      Sam, now in blue scrubs, is looking through Cal's file. He reads through the notes and frowns when he finds something. He pulls out Cal's body from the freezer and uses a scalpel to cut open his chest, then pushes his gloved hand inside. There is a squelch and Sam closes his eyes and breathes out.

      "That's right." Sam frowns and pulls his hand out, fingers covered in blood. He holds up two small round things. "What the hell?"

      Sam, back in his suit, comes out of the building to meet up with Dean and Elena. Sam shakes his head and sighs. "I can't believe I missed it." He says.

      Dean stands up and walks with Sam back to the Impala. "Missed what?" He asks.

      "Went back over the other two vics. There was blood loss. Major." Sam says.

      "Oh, well, being a gory smear will do that to you."

      "No, I-I mean more blood loss than a-a car crash or a head wound should cause, almost like it-" Sam starts.

      "Something's feeding." Elena says.

      "Yeah."

      "Awesome." Says Dean.

      "And then-" Sam takes out a plastic bag. "There were these." Dean looks at the bag; it contains the two things Sam found.

      Dean picks up the corner to inspect them closer. "What are those, seeds?" He asks.

      "Yeah. They were in both vics' bellies." Sam says.

      Dean takes his hand off the bag quickly. "I hope you washed your hands." He says.

      "They're unlike any seed I've ever seen before, Dean." Sam says.

      "Wow, just when I thought you couldn't get any geekier." Dean pats Sam on the shoulder and gets into the Impala.

MOTEL ROOM
[ ☼ ]

      Sam is on his laptop again, the seeds out of their bag and sitting on the table next to him. Dean is sitting on the bed using his laptop. Elena sits on another. Sam grins. "Yahtzee." He says.

      "What?" Dean says.

      "The seeds aren't from around here. In fact, they're not from any tree or plant in the country." Sam says.

      "Where are they from?" Elena asks.

      "Eastern Europe. From a forest in the Balkans, which is not even there anymore. It was chopped down, like, thirty years ago." Sam says.

      "So?" Dean asks.

      "So, local legend has it that the forest was guarded by a pagan god whose name was Leshi." Sam says. "Um, a mischievous god, could take on infinite forms-"

      "And let me guess. He liked to munch on his fans." Dean says.

      Sam chuckles. "Yep. Could be appeased only with the blood from his worshippers. It would drain 'em, then stuff their stomachs with the seeds." He says.

      Dean gets up and comes over to Sam. "So how's he doing it? What, he touches James Dean's keychain and then morphs into James Dean?" He says.

      "Hm. It's as good a guess as any." Says Sam.

      "Yeah, well, whatever. How do we kill him?" Dean asks.

      "Says here to chop off his head with an iron axe."

      Dean nods. "All right. Let's go gank ourselves a Paris Hilton." He says.

WAX MUSEUM
[ ☾]

      Sam, Elena and Dean enter, Dean carrying an axe, Sam a flashlight, and walk past the now hatless Abraham Lincoln wax model. They split up and search separate rooms. Sam comes across a door with signs on it reading "Sorry for the inconvenience, CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS" and "DANGER DO NOT ENTER". He whistles and Dean meets up with him.

      They break the latch and open the door, pushing through a plastic sheet to find a room decorated like a clearing in the woods, with a path leading up the middle to a white house with a wax figure of a man in a suit standing on the front porch. Sam notices a Young Woman, who must be Danielle, standing next to a tree and tied by her wrists to it.

      "Hey." Sam runs over and checks her pulse.

      "She alive?" Elena asks:

      "Yeah. Barely." Sam says.

      The axe flies out of Dean's hand and embeds itself in a tree on the other side of the path. Dean spins around to find Paris Hilton; this must be the Leshi. She grins and punches Dean multiple times in the face, sending him to the ground. She flips her hair as Sam lunges at her, but she shoves him and sends him flying across the room.

      He collides with the front wall of the house and falls to the ground, unconscious. Dean shakes his head and looks up to see the Leahi standing over him. "Awesome." She raises her stiletto-clad foot and stomps on Dean's face.

      The Leshi sits on a tree stump near the house with another tree stump serving as a table next to her. Laid on it are various knives; she picks one up and begins filing her nails, causing small sparks. Dean and Sam are tied to two trees side-by-side, in the Same fashion as Danielle.

      They wake up one after the other and struggle for a second before they realize where they are. Elena lies on the ground straight forward, knocked out. "Oh. I'm so glad you're awake for this. This is gonna be huge." The Leshi says. Sam and Dean look at each other.

      "Super. Yeah, I wouldn't wanna miss it." Dean pulls at his ropes discreetly.

      "I mean, I've been stuffing myself with fast food lately." The Leshi says. "So it's nice to do the ritual right. Prepare a nice, slow meal for a change."

      "Just like the good old days, huh?" Sam asks.

      "You have no idea. People adored me. They used to throw themselves at me, with smiles on their faces."

      "Yeah, I guess these days nobody gives a flying crap about some backwoods forest god, huh?" The Leshi stops filing her nails with a threatening glare. "No. Not since they cut down my forest and built a Yugo plant."

      "March of progress, sister." Says Dean.

      The Leshi files her nails a few more times. "For years now, I've been wandering. Hungry. Scared. Scrounging for scraps. So not sexy." She says and Dean makes a face. "But then, the best thing ever happened." She puts the knife down. "Someone tripped the apocalypse. And I thought, what the hell, I'm tired of watching what I eat. I wanna pig out. So I found this little place. It's awesome. Adoring fans stroll right in the door."

      "Yeah. But they're not your fans." Sam says.

      "So? They worship Lincoln, Gandhi, Hilton...whatever. I'll take what I can get."

     "You know, I gotta tell you, you are not the first god we've met, but you are...the nuttiest." Dean says as he glances at Elena.

      "No, you, you people, you're the crazy ones. You used to worship gods. But this?" The Leshi indicates her Paris Hilton disguise. "This is what passes for idolatry? Celebrities? What have they got besides small dogs and spray tans?" Sam frowns. Dean raises his eyebrows, nodding. "You people used to have old-time religion. Now you have Us Weekly."

      "I don't know, I'm more of a Penthouse Forum man myself." Dean winks and clicks his tongue at the Leshi. She gets up and stalks over to him.

     "Maybe, but...there's still a lot of yummy meat on those bones, boy."

      "Well I hate to break it to you, sister, but, uh...you can't eat me. See, I'm not a Paris Hilton BFF. I've never even seen House of Wax." Dean says. Sam looks at Dean and frowns.

      "No. But I can totally read your mind, Dean. I know who your hero is. Your daddy. Am I right?" The Leshi asks and Dean doesn't reply. She smirks and walks over to the tree with the axe embedded in it. When her back is turned, Dean pulls at his ropes again. "And this belonged to him. Didn't it? Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol. One distant father figure, coming right up."

      She goes to touch the axe when Dean finally pulls his wrist free of the ropes. He sprints across the clearing and tackles the Leshi to the floor. Sam pulls desperately at his ropes as it manages to kneel on top of Dean and punches him repeatedly in the face. Sam finally pulls free and dashes over the clearing. Dean gets a punch in and throws the Leshi off him as Sam pulls the axe from the tree.

       Dean rolls out of the way and Sam brings the axe down five times on the Leshi's neck. Her head rolls free of her body and Sam pants in exertion, his face covered in blood. Dean, still on the floor, looks up when Sam turns to him and grins, and Dean holds up a finger. "Not a word." Dean says just as Elena wakes up.

      "Dude. You just got whaled on by Paris Hilton!" Sam yells.

      "Shut up." Dean lies back and grunts in pain, holding his head.

THE NITE OWL MOTEL
[ ☼ ]

       Dean, Elena and Sam, carrying their bags, are walking to the Impala. Dean is talking on his cell phone. "Uh-huh. All right. Thank you." Dean hangs up. "Sheriff Carnegie. Danielle's gonna be all right. She's sworn off The Simple Life, but other than that-"

      "Glad she's okay." Sam says.

      "It gets better. Sheriff's putting out an APB on Paris Hilton." Dean laughs. "That oughta be good." He takes out his keys and opens the trunk of the Impala. They put their bags inside. "Hey, listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday. About me keeping too tight of a leash on you." Sam looks at him. "Hell, maybe you're right. I mean, look, I'm not exactly Mister Innocent in this whole mess either, you know. I did break the first seal."

      "You didn't know." Sam says.

      "Yeah, well, neither did you." Dean says and Sam looks down. "I'm not saying demon blood was a great way to go, but, you did kill Lilith."

      "And start the apocalypse." Sam says.

      "Which neither of us saw coming, I mean, who'd have thought killing Lilith would've been a bad thing?" Dean pauses. "Point is, I was so worried about watching your every move that I didn't see what it was actually doing to you." Dean pauses again. "So, for that I'm sorry."

      "Thanks." Sam says as Elena gets into the car.

       Dean closes the trunk and takes the keys. "So where do we go from here?" He asks.

      "They way I see it, we got one shot at surviving this." Sam says.

      "What's that?"

      "Maybe I am on deck for the devil, maybe Same with you and Michael, maybe there's no changing that." Sam says.

      "Well that's encouraging." Says Dean.

      "But, we can stop wringing our hands over it. We gotta just grab onto whatever's in front of us, kick its ass, and go down fighting."

      Dean considers this, then nods. "I can get on board with that." He says.

      Sam nods. "Okay. But we're gonna have to do it on the same level." He says and Dean grins slightly.

      "You got it." Dean says and Sam nods again. "I say we get the hell outta here."

      "Hell yeah." They turn to go to their respective sides of the car, but Dean stops and looks down at the keys.

      "Hey." Dean says. Sam turns around, then Dean, and Dean holds out the keys. "You wanna drive?"

      Sam looks down at the keys. "You sure?" He asks.

      "Yeah, I could, uh...I could use a nap." Dean says as Sam smiles a little and Dean hands him the keys. Jeff Beck's "Superstition" begins to play. They get into the car and drive away.