"Iwa."

We lay in the grass together, under the stars. Side by side, his shoulders at my feet and mine at his. In silence up until that point. At the sound of my name my mind returned to the prince beside me. "Yes, my lord?" I asked, my voice cracking its husk of sleep. A slight breeze tickled at our clothes and I shivered.

"Do you miss your family?"

He often brought up this subject and I had no idea why. It always just made me sad and scared... Really scared. My mood change made the wind become cold and biting, reminding me that I had no older sister to hug me warm. Staring up at the winking stars, I imagined those three- the brightest and huddled together- were my family far, far away. They flew through the universe and explored all the furthest reaches of heaven for eternity. Without a care in the world.

Without me.

My chest grew heavy with the threat of oncoming tears. I swallowed hard to keep them at bay. I hoped they wouldn't forget about me up there. I wished that I could be with them.

Maybe... maybe I could be with them.

This was the innocent thought of a young child, not even old enough to know what the word suicide meant. And yet there I was, considering it hopefully as I stared up at their twinkling forms. I'd be a star right next to them. But... would I have to burn to death too? Or could I maybe... maybe use a knife instead? That would be a much quicker way-

"Do you ever think about making your family bigger?"

It was almost like he'd heard my thoughts and offered an entirely different solution to my dilemma. My five-year-old self didn't know what on earth that meant. The only thing that came to mind was when my father once told me about how two people who liked each other had children together. "Do you mean you want to have children?" I asked. That wouldn't be so bad. If I married the prince of the Fire Nation, maybe then I wouldn't get punished as much.

"I would love to start a family with you."

Lu Ten's voice had completely changed. Instead it had become another prince's voice- golden eyes and a scar flashed through my mind, and the night sky rippled until it completely faded away.

I glance down at my open palms to find them slick with the dark sheen of blood. It flowed freely from the new gashes, one on the inside of each upper forearm. These cuts were too deep and precise to be accidental. On the dirt floor in front of me I saw the crushed remains of a vase. The smaller pieces began to float in the pools of my blood at my crossed legs, which dripped the waterfalls from my arms.

Now I was an observer from the corner of the room. The same memory lay before me, but I watched myself from outside my body. The person I saw in the center of the room, covered in his own blood and unable to control his shaking arms... His blank stare into his reflection in the bloody puddle he sat in, eyes red but out of tears to cry... I pitied him. Besides malnourished and dehydrated, he was also tired- exhausted. Sick of feeling so alone and sad and pointless, just living meal to meal. Sick of feeling.

As I looked at him- well, me- sitting in the dark and prepared to die, I knew it wasn't his time to leave. He wasn't ready.

The marketplace is busy. I can barely keep myself upright in the fierce push of the crowds. Even so, the whole world is silent. Nothing makes any sound. Not the yelling of the haggling street vendors, or the footsteps of the many thousands on the dirt roads, or the tinkling of china from the restaurants. Just silence. The crowd jostled me forward towards the city gates of Ba-Sing-Se where I saw the short earthen huts of my tribe straight ahead. I let the bustle of people lead me to them ever so slowly like a wave tossed through the sea, staring in a trance-like state into the painful sunlight surrounding the buildings. Could've sworn I picked out my home. That I could see a figure step out from under the low archway of our front door. That it was my mother.

"Iwa!"

My name was so loud in the otherwise complete quiet that the world had been cursed with. It jolted me from the trance if only for a moment. But I kept being pushed, shoved, led to the gates.

"Iwa! Wait!"

I glanced behind me into the mass of movement, brows furrowing in confusion as I searched for the source. Nothing. The never-ending sea of people moved with purpose.

"Iwa, please!"

The urgency, the sadness, the desperation in this voice made me push against the crowd, away from the gates. Where is it coming from? I thought as I shoved my way back into the city. I felt it in my bones- it wasn't the right time to go home. I had to do this first.

I turned back towards my village one last time. My eyes strained to make out more of the figure at the hut. The woman turned towards the gates- towards me, as I tried to resist the direction of the crowd. And she waved.

My body aches. Spasms shoot through my legs, my arms, my chest, uncontrollably. Two hands hold the sides of my face and gentle fingers caress through my ragged ponytail. I couldn't keep my eyes open due to the shockwaves taking over my muscles. In flashes, I saw a face hovering over mine. Pieces of information began to take shape in my mind as each flash revealed more- chocolate eyes, mousy hair, pink ribbons, and streaks of blood. The fire from the backdrop behind the throne crackled like broken glass. Heavy panting breath wafted over my burning skin. A throbbing pain made itself known in my shoulder, my head, and the pit of my stomach. My hair stuck together with a mixture of sweat and something else that pooled around my upper back.

My body convulsed and I heaved one massive breath, coughing and sputtering in my exhale. My lungs had decided they were done working up until this moment. The spasms stopped as soon as I began breathing again, and my vision cleared. With the regulated oxygen intake I unfortunately regained feeling in my body. The full force of my injuries hit me all over again, combined with the ache from lying still for... who knows how long. Still breathing deep, I opened my eyes and was greeted by Tai Li's smiling and teary-eyed face only centimeters from my own, surrounded in a halo of the darkness of the high ceiling above. A mostly-dried slice to her forehead left a long river of crusting blood down through her hair to her neck. The sight immediately calmed me. She was alive and her wound, though serious, was not life-threatening. A wave of relief coursed through me and I allowed my eyes to shut again.

"No!" she said frantically as my lids drooped low. "I didn't jump in front of a shuriken for you to just die!"

"Tai Li." I was actually quite surprised at how clear my voice sounded. I'd been expecting a scratchy, dry, unintelligible mess to come out but instead I sounded pretty decent. Moving my jaw was the hard part. Moving anything was the hard part. My tongue felt like a huge koi fish in a tiny pond as I tried to form words. Deep breath in. "I'm not dying. I'm... tired." The more I breathed, the more pain blossomed through my bones.

"I can't believe..." I heard her sigh as she rolled back over beside me, sniffling quietly. "...I can't believe she did this. I knew she was upset about Zuko, but..." Her fingers worked their way into my lax hand. Even that hurt like hell. "Can you move?"

"No." I didn't have the energy to sugarcoat it. Couldn't even tense a muscle to try to get up.

"I've got to get help." She groaned and pushed herself upright. "You're bleeding out... I'll go get someone..." A hand ran through my hair for a moment before I heard the dainty pitter-patter of her feet towards the heavy throne room doors.

I'd almost slipped back into unconsciousness when I heard a frustrated huff from next to me. Wearily opened one of my eyes to look over my shoulder at the culprit. Mei glared at the ceiling with a hatred, then glanced over at me. Luckily she couldn't voice the murderous thoughts clearly running through her mind because her rock gag was still secure. "How's your head feeling?" I mumbled through a chuckle. She rolled her eyes, hands clenched into fists by her head. "If it's anything like mine, you'll be needing a bucket full of pain killers. Feels like I'm being split open by an axe." My head lolled back to face the ceiling again, and I closed my eyes to block out the dim light that somehow seemed brighter than the sun all of a sudden. I tried to feel for footsteps or heartbeats, but my own heartbeat was too loud in my body to hear anything else. It pounded through my ears like the ocean slamming against cliffs.

A haze settled over me, lulling me back to the coma I'd been in before Tai Li woke me up. My body temperature dropped as the puddle of blood sopped around my head and into my hair, and my body began to shut down due to the rapid blood loss. I wonder if Mei would be happy about watching me die right next to her as a result of the wounds inflicted by her. She'd probably be pretty pleased, actually.

The throne room doors slammed open behind me and a rush of feet resounded against the stone walls and floors. "Oh my gosh... No..." Someone skidded to a stop next to me and I felt hands gently touch my arms, my face, my hair, before scooping me into his lap by my waist and neck, causing shooting pain through my body. "Unn..." My head rolled back as I was lifted off the ground out of the lake of blood on the floor, and the blood from my nose angled to slide down my neck. The firm hands, the shaking grip, the panicked breathing all let me know that the person holding me was Zuko. I immediately felt terrible- I didn't want to make Zuko worry like this. He seemed so angry, so scared as he held me. "We have to get him to Katara!" he shouted, and his voice made my head throb.

"What do I do with Mei?" That was Tai Li's voice now, also laced full of stress.

Zuko was already walking away from them, towards the doors I assume. Every step sent me closer to complete unconsciousness with the pain. "Leave her there," he growled. "I'll deal with her later." The anger seeping through his words made me scared for Mei. I've seen angry Zuko, and it doesn't bode well for her.

I tried to speak to let him know I was alright. My throat tightened and strained to get something out, but all that I could do was groan. "Nnn..." Well that didn't sound very reassuring at all.

"Please don't go," he whispered as he ran out of the room and down a corridor. His hand, now slick with my blood, readjusted on my side for a better grip. His involuntary squeeze on my lungs close to my wound forced me to inhale a sharp breath. "I just got you!"

"I would love to start a family with you."

Everything quickly began mushing together, like a hot soup mixing spices in a giant pot. With passing second that blood left my body, my consciousness slipped further and further out of my reach. My whole body felt cold, my fingers like numb blocks of ice hanging from my hands.

Suddenly I'm resting on the ground- I only know this because my head knocked into the stone floor as I hit it. The blood trickling from my nose was so hot against my freezing skin. Worried voices surrounded me. A pair of hands caressed my head while another gingerly but quickly pulled off my shirt to reveal my bleeding shoulder.

"Named you that after the beautiful sunrise you were born in."

A cool sensation engulfed my shoulder, momentarily dimming the pain. Then it became a sharp and unbearable sting shooting through my body. My body's paralysis couldn't prevent the involuntary scream that forced its way out of me.

I've just sort of drifted away from the world. Everything remained dark as the sounds of Katara, Tai Li, Zuko, and my own screams faded until I no longer heard them at all. Now I'm just floating in an endless, timeless space. I enjoyed not feeling anything. This is a great upgrade from just a moment ago, when my body tried to rip itself apart.

"I watch over you every day."

The silhouette of a tall figure appeared before me, slightly darker than the rest of the black surroundings. Wispy black strands weaved together until they took shape into a person. Long black hair tinged with grey, golden brown eyes, muscular arms and shoulders... He wore a small smile, eyes full of compassion and pride. "We all do."

My chest tightened at the sound of his deep and gruff voice. I almost didn't recognize him, it had been so long since I'd seen him. Only the faintest of memories of this face were left in my head. I drank in every word in silence like a plant starving for sunlight. My mother and my sister were both ingrained in my brain with no problem, but my father... A man who worked hard for his growing family was rarely ever home. My mother worked nonstop to run the home, meaning I spent most of my time with her and my sister. I barely remembered this man at all. But here he was in front of me, and I didn't know I could long for someone so much- someone I didn't even know.

His shoulders relaxed and his eyes took in my body in the same way I took in his. Like we knew this face-to-face opportunity wouldn't come again for a very long time, if ever. I was scared to blink in case he disappeared as quickly as he'd come. He sighed through his nose wistfully. "We always will. But I don't have to worry about you anymore." He held out a thick, rough hand towards me. "You're in good hands now."

I reached my hand out to his in awe. Still haven't breathed yet. My fingers hovered over his own, scared to touch him and pop whatever bubble we were in. "I'm proud of you," he whispered lovingly. "I always have been."

My breathing was constant and shallow. That was the first thing I noticed. Then a slow and soothing breeze over my bare skin. The incredible ache in my shoulder, my nose, my stomach. And then pure and total exhaustion- just waves of nausea rolling over me. Opening my eyes was like digging through wet sand. They fluttered open and took in my surroundings. I lay in a bed under Fire Nation blankets, bandages wrapping around my upper arm and across my chest, over where the kunai had landed. A large open window spanned the wall in front of me, revealing a beautiful view of a starry sky stretching far out over a calm sea and the torches of the seaside houses behind the palace. Turning my heavy head, I saw a chair occupied by a pale, dark-haired individual with a burn flowering over his left eye. He slept, but fitfully- I could tell by the small intakes of breath, the tense posture, his furrowed brow. The bags under his eyes let slip that he had not slept well in days.

My body didn't respond to any attempt to move, and if I tensed my muscles the pain was sent rocketing through me. "Zuko," I croaked out quietly. My throat felt like sandpaper. At the sound of my voice the prince stirred in his seat, shifting his weight as his brow furrowed more deeply. "Zuko," I tried again, a little louder.

His eyelids drifted open to reveal the golden orbs of fire I'd come to love. They found mine instantly in the dark. He sat up quick, letting out a pained hiss, and knelt at the side of my bed. His eyes searched mine worriedly as he took one of my hands, drinking me in like he'd never see me again. His breathing had become more ragged. I worked my own brow in confusion. I didn't know what was wrong but I hated to see him like this. "Zuko... what's wrong?"

He just continued to stare at me, roaming my face. His hands played with my fingers, rubbed up my arm, glided over my bandages, caressed my neck. Drew himself closer to me so that our noses touched while he hovered over my face. His breath warmed my cheeks. He hesitated in his answer until finally... "...Nothing," he mumbled. "Nothing is wrong." He nuzzled his nose against mine gently, followed by a deep kiss. "Are you hungry? I'll go get you some food."

He didn't look too happy about leaving, and I didn't feel too happy about it either. At the thought, my heartbeat picked up in slight panic. "No," I whispered quickly. "Please..." Tried to grab his hand to reinforce my dislike of the idea, but my body still wouldn't do as I instructed. "Please don't leave me."

Immediately he took me by my waist and moved me over gently to make room for himself on the bed beside me. His body was warm against my bare chest as he adjusted the covers over us and wrapped me in his embrace. I've never felt so safe. It lulled me into another sleepy haze against him.

"I'll never leave you again."

The following day, the healer had come to check on me and I found out why Zuko had been so concerned. I had been asleep for four days, and there was no guarantee that I would wake up. Apparently I had lost so much blood that there was nothing Katara or the healer could do: once the wound was repaired, it was only a matter of whether or not my body would survive.

Another four days in the guest bedroom passed before I could move on my own without falling or causing more crazy pain. Tai Li, Rin, Chouko, Xi Sheng, Hinzi, and the Avatar's group all visited me over those days, and Zuko never left my side once. I was glad to see all my friends alive and well after the war. Turns out the Avatar didn't kill the former Firelord- he took away his bending. I'd never heard of such a thing, but the Avatar met an ancient lion turtle the day he disappeared who gave him the knowledge of how to do it. Now the Firelord was locked away below the palace, in one of the same cells I'd called home before, along with Azula. At one point of my hospital stay, I'd asked Zuko where he'd put Mei.

His eyes grew dark and his hands tightened around my waist as we lay in the bed, watching the darkening sky together. "You don't want to know what I did to her," he muttered under his breath, his voice laced with anger. "I'm not even ashamed in the least bit. She deserved what she got."

I decided then and there never to ask about Mei again.

I watched Zuko put on the ceremonial coronation robes from my spot on the bed. We'd moved from the guest room where I was recovering to the master bedroom. He winced when his arm movement pulled at the new scar on his chest. It resembled an explosion, like the lightning strike that caused it. I heaved my aching body up to cross the room and help him with my free hand, my injured shoulder still inhibiting the movement of my left arm completely. Standing behind him, I wrapped my arm around his waist and grabbed the ribbon to help him pull it tight when he couldn't. He smiled at me in thanks, taking the ribbon from my hand and wrapping it in a bow. When he was done, his eyes travelled down to my bare stomach, where he glided his fingers over the bruised skin. "We're both in pretty bad shape, huh?" he asked, a sad frown forming while he took in my newest scars.

I shrugged, although it made me wince. "I'm glad we're in any shape at all, really. And my boyfriend is the new Firelord. That's pretty hot."

He smirked, leaned in to kiss me softly. "Anything to impress you," he whispered. After he secured his sash, he helped me pull my baggy Fire Nation shirt over my head. Once he worked my injured arm out through the sleeve, he rested it on his own and led me out of the bedroom. "Let's go do this," he said as he heaved a nervous sigh.

We limped through the halls together like an elderly couple towards the front of the palace. Servants and workers littered the palace, redecorating and rebuilding or running around with massive plates of food for the feast later. As we approached the front of the palace, the sounds of the excited crowd outside grew louder. Aang stood behind the doors waiting in what I assumed was ceremonial airbender robes- long, flowing yellow with orange trim and thick wooden beads hanging from his neck. He was all smiles as he watched us stumble over. "Iwa," he said as he bowed low in a kind of formal greeting I'd never received, only given. "I'm glad you're awake and recovering now. Without you, Zuko would never finish the coronation ceremony or the peace treaty."

The prince stiffened by my side at those words. I only smiled back at the Avatar and rubbed the prince's arm. "I'm surprised to hear that the fate of the whole Fire Nation rested on me getting better."

Zuko shook his head and squeezed my hand, almost as if to reassure himself that I was still there. "Not the fate of the Fire Nation," he replied with such resolve. "My fate."

I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he was dead serious. I didn't know how to feel, knowing I was someone's entire world like that. So I just kissed him on the cheek and stepped away, towards the side door. Tried not to stumble without his arm to balance on. "I'll go take my seat outside," I said as I walked away.

I didn't get more than three feet before I was nearly jumped on by a girl in green. I still recognized that bouncy walk, the infectious energy, and the bubbly personality. "Iwa! Come on, you can sit by me!"

Tai Li's tan face was covered in a thick layer of white powder and unique warrior face paint closely resembling Geisha makeup. The only remnant of her act of saving my life was a bandage around her head. She supported me under my arm and led me outside. I squinted at the sudden sunlight as we hobbled to a slightly raised section away from the rest of the crowd, where the rest of my friends sat waiting. Rin jumped up to help me sit down and the rest of the group greeted me warmly. I was exhausted just from this short walk from the bedroom, and the seat was a welcome relief.

No sooner had I plopped into my spot, the palace doors swung slowly open to reveal Zuko and Aang. The crowd went wild as they stepped into the courtyard, clapping and cheering and celebrating the new era that the prince- no, the Firelord- would bring to the Fire Nation and to the world. The coronation ceremony began as Zuko knelt in the courtyard, and I surged with pride as I watched him accept the responsibility of a nation. It was an honor to be by his side to support him through it.

Once the crown was placed on his head, he rose to stand and face his subjects with Aang beside him. "We have fought a hundred-year war with the world," he announced, his calm voice resonating over the sea of people. They quieted to hear him better. "A war for power and a war of destruction. That war never should have started, and it's over now. Now begins a new time for our nation- a time of prosperity not by destroying the other nations, but by working with them to better ourselves, each other, and the world." He glanced at me and smiled as he continued his speech. "Fire is like a child, a living thing. A bad upbringing will result in an abusive and terrible force. But with the right care, attention, and tenderness, it is a force for good. We will be that force."

The crowd cheered again as he and the Avatar shook hands. As soon as the formalities were over, Zuko speed walked down the stairs to our raised platform. The rest of the gang had stood up to cheer with the crowd, but I remained seated, still weak from my wounds. He acknowledged them when they congratulated him, but kept moving until he stood right in front of me. I smiled at his giddy demeanor- he practically bounced on his heels as he offered his hand to me. "Let's go eat, shall we?" he said happily.

I took his hand and he helped me out of my seat, one arm around my waist. "Good job up there," I praised as we walked slowly back to the palace doors, where all the citizens filed through for the feast. "You're a natural leader. They respect you and your decisions."

He nuzzled his nose into my hair affectionately, and I reveled in the attention. "I'm just happy you're here with me."