Jeonghan

We were on the way to Bora’s house and Seungcheol stopped the car at the signal. “Are you sure, you’re going to be okay?” I turned to look at him and nodded then turned to look out of the window.

I was trying to focus on the mail that was sent by Seri, my secretary. It’s been almost a month, but it seemed like my heart never moved on from Luna. My heart was stuck with her, I knew she had exams, last month but I didn’t know when was the last exam and even though my fingers were itching to give her a call or text her but I held myself back. I didn’t want to disturb her during her exams because she stressed a lot during exams and I didn’t want to make it worse.

I was missing her way too much, as much as I wanted to go and see her I told myself, that she would reach out to me once the exam was over because even if she didn’t see me as nothing more, there might be the feelings of a ‘friend’ still inside her. I didn’t know what to do and what to expect from anyone or even myself. I’ve seen myself how miserable I could be when it came to her but then this time my mind wasn’t exactly in the right state because this time, the feelings were stronger and I knew how much it was hurting. I was such a fool because I didn’t even see that she just considered me her friend. I wish I could end everything and my feelings but I knew I could never do that, and if only that was possible, I still wouldn’t end all the feelings because they gave me one of the best memories of the time being.

My thoughts were distracted by my phone’s notification sound. I wondered if my phone wasn’t on silent mode. For a second, I didn’t want to check, but then there was hope that it was her.

I shut down my laptop and took my phone, then went to lie down on the bed. I was feeling tired although it was just 7:30 pm

I unlocked my phone, and the moment I saw the person who sent me a text, I literally sat on the bed.

‘Bora’s having a small Christmas get-together, and she wanted to invite you and your best friend. Let me know if you would like to come or not’

Luna.

This was a chance to meet her and talk to her.

And who knows, maybe my last chance?

I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, thinking about her. I needed to get a grip on myself. After a few minutes, I sent her a text saying ‘We will be there on time’ once sent, I called Seungcheol without thinking twice and he picked up my call after one ring, “I need you to go somewhere with me on Christmas”

“If you keep that face on, Jeonghan, you will look miserable on Christmas. I am asking you again, would you be okay?” I turned to look at Seungcheol, who was driving. I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive with so many things in my mind, I would rather crash.

“I will be okay, Seungcheol. Why are you worried?” he stopped the car at the red signal and turned to look at me, “If I won’t be worried, then who would be? Luna? Tell me what happened after that night. Did she contact you? Did you try to contact her?” I was about to say and defend her by saying she was having exams, but he cut me off. “I know we talked about this already, and we have been talking about it, but do you see any progress? I know it’s hard but I can’t see you like this Jeonghan, why don’t you understand? This time, when Jiah came, she told me you looked different. Do you get it, Jeonghan? Your sister was saying this to me? why? Because she’s worried.” I let out a sigh, and then we saw a green signal.

“Seungcheol…” I know he is worried, even Jiah was worried, she wasn’t ready to go back but I didn’t want to hold her back for too long. “No one is at fault, if Luna doesn’t feel the same, let it be and Bora invited us. I didn’t want to be rude to her, and it’s probably my last chance to see Luna. So don’t worry about me too much” I turned my head to look outside the window.

After some time, we reached Bora’s apartment. Seungcheol parked the car, and the moment he did, it reminded me of the first time I came here with Luna. I parked my car exactly here and dropped her off here because some random guy spilled coffee on her white shirt. I don’t think I would ever let that memory go.

“I just parked, and you look way too happy. Are you okay?” I turned my head, I didn’t know I was smiling at the thought.

We got out of the car and then went inside the building. If I remember correctly, I know Bora’s apartment number and her floor.

I was nervous, I didn’t know why, or maybe I knew why, but my heart and mind weren’t ready to accept it.

“Jeonghan, are you sure?” I looked at Seungcheol and pressed the floor number inside the lift. Only Seungcheol knew how things had been since the past month, and I didn’t like it even a bit. I needed to talk to her but for what? I didn’t even know. if talking could fix it then I could’ve simply asked her to meet up or talk to him but I didn’t know what to do. All I wanted her by my side even as a friend but my heart was not ready to accept her as a friend and at the same time, my heart wasn’t ready to let her go like that.

I rang the doorbell and we waited for the door to open.

Suddenly the face, I missed so much appeared infront of me and I almost forgot everything, in my mind I could only see her and me.

“Jeonghan?” hearing my name from her felt like years. Couldn’t believe this is the way I was healing my heart, by hearing my name from her. “Luna, who’s there?”

“It’s Jeonghan” This time when she looked at me, I saw something different but I didn’t want to assume anything from my side this time. I couldn’t break myself anymore by doing this. “Come inside” I nodded and Seungcheol entered with me.

“Oh, Jeonghan you’re here” I saw Bora coming towards us. “Take a seat.” I was following Luna, towards the sofa.

“Merry Christmas” I smiled at her, she came and she stood Luna. “Merry Christmas.” Then she turned to look at Seungcheol, “Oh and this is my best friend Seungcheol” Bora smiled at him, “Merry Christmas Seungcheol, it’s nice to meet you”

“Merry Christmas” Bora smiled at him, I felt better knowing there was no awkwardness between them. It looked like Bora was kind of extrovert and she would mix up with anyone quickly. “Merry Christmas Jeonghan and Seungcheol.” I looked at Luna, her eyes. They were holding my gaze, they felt like they didn’t want to let go of me this time but I wanted to tell myself to stop.

“Okay, so time for hot chocolate and Luna is going to make it because she makes the best hot chocolate and nothing compares to her hot chocolate” Luna slightly hit Bora’s arm and glared at her. “it’s not like that”

“Oh, please Luna.” Then she turned to look at us, “Make yourself comfortable, we will be just back.” once they went to the kitchen I looked at the Christmas decorations and it looked so pretty. “Are you sure, you can handle this?” I turned to look at Seungcheol. “What do you mean?”

“I can see the tension between you two and the way she is also looking at you, I can see the unspoken words here. Are you sure she told you she doesn’t feel anything for you?”
“Seungcheol, let’s not talk about it here and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable here.” How could I forget that one night, and the words she told me? Those words were imprinted inside my heart and even if I want to maybe I can never forget them, how am I supposed to forget and move on from my first love? She was the first person who made me feel like this, who made me experience hell and heaven. Then how am I supposed to mistake her words?

“Your hot chocolates are here” Bora’s words snapped me out of my thoughts and she gave me and Seungcheol a cup.

“I bet you’re going to love it” Bora sat infront of us with Luna and Luna had an awkward smile on her face.

Author’s Note:

Merry Christmas!!! And this is a Christmas chapter~

Thankyou so much for waiting for updates and thankyou for reading :)

And let’s see what happens next :)