(Mature language, just a heads up)

"I just want to know what happened, you know? Why s- he broke up with me." Lauren explains, catching herself when she almost said 'she' and resisting the urge to wipe the tears that have made a habit of appearing now from the corner of her eyes and instead wills them away. Looks like management told her to say that he (our beard aka who the public thinks she's been dating all this time) broke up with her; They must've seen the video and seen how clearing you could see those words: 'broke up with me'

"Right, right. Well, the fans are all here for you too, I bet." The interviewer says solemnly.

Lauren nods, "Yeah they've been great with all the support on social media and what not."

I turn the TV off.

"See, you should call her or something." My cousin Max points at the screen dramatically. He may be my cousin but he is more like my best friend, to be honest. Hence why it is perfectly normal for him to be giving me blunt relationship advice like this.

"I can't." I state, staring at the black screen but I see him crossed his arms from the corner of my eye, "I can't put myself back into that situation. I hated it."

"But you loved her?"

"Yeah, obviously."

"And you still do?"

"Obviously." I grumble, and he reaches over to grab my phone from the coffee table before I have the chance to stop him.

"Hey!" I call out anyway as though that'd change his mind about whatever he was doing and put it back down. Of course, it doesn't.

Remind me again why I thought it'd be a good idea to put his thumbprint in my phone?

I don't make any other effort to stop whatever he was doing though because really, I do want Lauren back. It's been about a month since I left her but all I have been doing is laying on this sofa and occasionally venturing to the kitchen to get some ice cream, and obviously to the bathroom but ew.

"What did you do?" I ask as he tosses the phone to me. His response is only a wiggle of his brows so I send my gaze down to my phone screen only to see that I'm FaceTime calling her.

"Shit!" I hiss, moving to hang up the call but she answered just before I could.

"Y... Y/n?" She asks as her eyes dart over her screen and my face, mine do the same to her. She looks gorgeous.

"Lauren." I reply and look up at Max with a deathly glare. He just takes a sip of his soda like it's nothing.

"I- why did you call?" She asks and her tone sounds harsh, almost making me flinch.

"Max called you."

"Oh."

There's a silence, a long one, where we just take in each other.

Then I finally grow a pair and utter the words, "I'm sorry."

"For what? For breaking my heart? For just disappearing without a proper explanation? All you said was 'I can't do this anymore' and I didn't know what you meant! I didn't know if you were okay! You could have fucking killed yourself for all I fucking knew-"

She is interrupted by someone's hand coming to rest over her shoulders and then by me asking, "Who's that?"

She rolls her eyes and turns the phone so I can see him sat there, a frown on his face. Now I rolled my eyes too.

"Oh, fucking great." I sigh, "Thats just really fucking perfect. Well, I'll leave you two to canoodle or whatever you're doing these days." I ramble before hanging up and then facepalming and sighing heavily.

"I'm such an idiot." I groan and Max just starts laughing from across the room.

"'Canoodle'?" He asks in a disbelieving tone, earning another glare from me.

I look down to see that Lauren was calling again and pick up by instinct, seeing her eyes on fire and that she was now standing outside.

"You don't get to just leave again, Y/n." She spits angrily, jutting her finger at the screen, "You're going to listen to what I have to say. You can't just leave without telling me why. I've been thinking about it nonstop since I went back into that room and you weren't there. I went to the bus and you weren't there. I got all the girls to look for you but we couldn't find you or any of your stuff. And then you know what happened?" She pauses, obviously waiting for a response.

"What?" I choke out, trying to keep my own stubborn tears at bay now.

"I fucking watched you drive away."

It is safe to say I am gobsmacked. I thought that when I'd gone she was still in hair and makeup or getting her outfit on. I didn't know she'd watched. I wouldn't have purposefully put her through that.

"I- I'm so sorry Laur, I didn't know-" I try but she cuts me off again.

"No, maybe you didn't know I was watching but you still disappeared without a trace. And you know what? I didn't follow after you and I didn't call to ask where you were going or why because I was too fucking stupid and stubborn to do that but I'm doing it now. Why did you leave me, Y/n?"

"I-" I croak, and Max nods before leaving the room, giving us some space, "I couldn't take it anymore, Laur. I'm so sorry I thought I could do it but I couldn't. I couldn't sit and watch when we went on dates but you had to sit by him and cuddle with him and kiss him. I couldn't take it when I'd see the headlines and the talk shows talk about whatever the shit fucking shipname you two have. I couldn't sit back and watch as you talked about him in interviews like he was your everything. He's an okay guy, I get that. You've got a few songs together so it works out for PR, I get that. What I don't get is why? Why your management is so fucking homophobic that they won't let you, an out bisexual woman, date another woman! It's fucking stupid as shit!" I ramble and she just takes a deep breath and listens.

"I don't need the whole world to know we're together Lauren, in fact I'd rather they don't all know, but I need to be able to spend time with you in public without thinking about how close together we sit or what way we hold hands and if it's too intimate because I want to be intimate with you no matter who the fuck is watching or analysing your and my every moves."

She nods, and I see a tear spill from her cheek, making mine do the same.

"I can't change their mind, baby. You know if tried." She is close to sobbing but I can tell she's holding it back as she looks up at the sky, and then a small smile crosses her face, "But hey, me and him have supposedly broke up now so guess who is single both publicly and privately." She tries to joke but her laugh comes out as a single breath and more tears.

"I know, I know. I- I was really dumb I should've just spoken to you about it. I... will you please take me back and give me another shot?" I ask and see Max sticking his head around the corner. That sneaky motherfucker has been listening the whole time!

"Oh, baby, please." She smiled again and a quiet sob finally came from her, earning another from me, "I don't give a fuck what management says anymore, I love you and I guess they'll just have to deal with that. I didn't know it was effecting you like that. If you'd have told me, I-"

"I know, but let's tall about it later. Where are you now? Are you guys still at the same hotel?"

She nods and I smile softly before hanging up, jumping off of the sofa, and meeting Max's confused eyes.

"Where are you going?" He asks as I slip my phone into my back pocket and look around for my car keys.

"Getting my girl back." I answer, taking a pillow and tossing it at him.

Before he has the chance to say something that'd likely be sarcastic, I grab the keys from the side table and wiggle them in the air as I dance over to the door.

...

"Laur, baby, I-" I'm interrupted by her tackling me into a tight embrace that has us stumbling back in the hall until my back hit the wall of the apartment opposite. The whole while I was giggling at her antics and she was smiling against my neck.

"I missed you too." I laughed when she shifted her head a little to look up at me.

"I'm so sorry I didn't notice." She replies and I simply shake my head at her.

"I'm so sorry I didn't talk about it." I say in return and she grins.

"Promise me you will if you ever feel like that again?"

"I promise." I nodded, holding up my pinkie finger. She wrapped her own around it and pulled them to her lips to place a gentle kiss on them, sealing the promise before chuckling.

"Come on, let's start working on that promise." She suggest, pulling me by my hoodie pocket back into the hotel room. I gladly oblige, just thankful to be with her again. I fucked up, and I'm so glad I have a shot at forgiveness.

—
Mannn idk if I even like this all that much but let me know what you think!

Love you all! I don't know if I've said it before but thank you all so much for 1K reads agh!!! I never thought it'd get this far to be frank so thannnkkkyoooouuuu!!