-We must be killers-
Mikky Ekko
01:43 ━━━━●───── 03:50
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    A layer of blood crusted around Jungkook's fingers while specks of dirt hid beneath his fingernails. He pressed his hands between his thighs, staring down at the table blankly. The house was silent, not an exhale of breath or footstep to be heard. He couldn't meet Carol's eyes - too afraid to drown in the whirlpool of emotion. His own eyes were puffy and red, the tip of his nose had grown pink from constantly wiping away his snot and the skin on his lips was chewed off, making them grow dry and start to crack.

The three of them were silent as they sat in the living room, none of them having the courage to say what needed to be done. Jungkook felt like he was suffocating in his unsaid thoughts and suppressed emotions. A string of thought brushed through his head, leading him to wonder if it would've been better for him to wander through the forest alone than to experience whatever this was.

It felt like an eternity had passed since he and Carol had buried Mika among the flowers, felt like he had aged a year every time he shoveled dirt on her body, felt like a part of him was chipping away with every second passed in silence. He couldn't take it anymore, his body was breaking down from the inside and he couldn't sit back and watch it happen, not like last time. He didn't want to lose his mind again.

Jungkook dragged his eyes up from the table to look at Tyreese, who was leaning against the kitchen island with Judith lying against his chest. His face was cloudy, the only thing he could decipher was the torment in his eyes. He then looked at Carol. The woman's eyes were blank as she stared at the window on the opposite side of the room. Her hands were draped over the table, fingers kept curling and uncurling from time to time.

A slow breath slipped through Jungkook's nose and his tongue dug into his cheek, he glanced up at Tyreese and found the man staring back at him with a little more clarity. Tyreese swallowed and eyed the pair sitting at the table before peeling his lips apart and shattering the silence with the sledgehammer that were his words, "I brought her some food." Carol inhaled sharply at hearing his voice, blinking rapidly as if she had just snapped out of her thoughts, "Cleared out her room, made sure she didn't have any knives. Anything like that." His voice was soft, almost placating.

What followed was a moment of silence where they tried to find the strength to continue speaking. Jungkook observed Tyreese and could see that the man had something more to say but he also picked up on his hesitation to say it. They made eye contact and Jungkook gave him the barest of nods to encourage him to say what was on the tip of his tongue.

"She has a shoebox full of mice." Tyreese revealed.  Jungkook's shoulders  snapped tight with tension and face dropped at the revelation - mind spinning with scenarios of where she would need that, "I asked her if she was the one feeding the walkers at the prison..." Tyreese continued, pausing as if his next words weighed too much, "That was her."

Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut and slipped his hands out from his thighs, slamming them on the table and pressing his blood-stained hand against his face. He blinked and glanced over at Carol, watching the woman's eyes shake as she dragged her hand down her face, he looked at Tyreese and flinched when he noticed that there was something else he wasn't saying, "Is there more?" He dared to ask - voice low and scratchy.

Tyreese swallowed and licked his lips, shifting his weight between his feet, "Back at the prison, down at the tombs, we found this rabbit. Pulled apart and nailed at the board." He rolled his lips together before exhaling, "That was her too." He choked on his next breath, lifting his arm to caress the back of Judith's head as if afraid for her, "Said she was just having fun."

Jungkook felt like something was stuck in his throat, he couldn't swallow or breathe, couldn't even think about what he was hearing. His thoughts were a scrambled mess in his head, pulled apart just like the rabbit Tyreese had described. He wished he could respond to Tyreese and say something but his tongue remained limp and lips quivered when he tried to move them.

Carol looked just as nauseous as he felt but now appeared even more defeated and broken than before, as if she was finally able to digest the situation. She didn't say anything, not until Tyreese finally revealed what had been on his mind this entire time, "I was thinking, maybe she killed Karen and David but I don't know how she could drag them away." He shook his head, staring down at the floor in puzzlement.

Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, tasting blood on his tongue when it seeped through the cut, "It wasn't her." He murmured, "She's not strong enough to drag their bodies away."

Tyreese bobbed his head in agreement, revealing that he agreed with that, especially when Carol cracked her lips open and added, "She would've let them turn." The woman lowered her hand and started picking at the dirt behind her nails, "It wasn't her."

Another blanket of thick tension was draped over them, only to get yanked away when Tyreese uttered his next question.

"So what do we do?"

Jungkook's eyes snapped up at that and muscles grew taunt, he glanced between Carol and Tyreese - his mind blank and failing to provide answers. He witnessed as Carol slumped in defeat, face twisting with bitter acceptance before she looked up at them in resignation, "I could leave with her." She muttered with some finality.

"What?" Jungkook spat out in pure shock, staring at the woman as though she had lost her mind, "No." he hissed with a shake of his head.

Carol's face was empty and her eyes were dark as she peered over at Jungkook, "We can't sleep with her and Judith under the same roof."

"You wouldn't make it." Tyreese pushed out, causing their eyes to bounce over at him, "Not on your own."

Jungkook hummed in agreement, shifting in his seat to face Carol better, "There has to be another way, we.." his words died out before he shook his head and exhaled, "..I don't want us to split up."

Carol leaned back in her seat, "She can't be around other people." Her voice lowered into a weak mutter.

"Maybe we can help her, talk her back somehow." Tyreese suggested hopefully, pushing himself off the counter to take a step forward.

Jungkook stared at his face, allowing Tyreese's words to sink into his skin and twist his memories into a blanket of hope, "I was just like her a year ago," he gulped and leaned closer to Carol, sliding his hand across the table until it was hovering next to hers, "I came back, maybe she can too."

Silvery tears filled Carol's eyes and her lips twisted into an empty smile, "You were like that because of something you had to live through. She..." Carol's face slackened in resignation, "..this is just how she is, it was already there." Her face cracked and voice broke as she croaked out, "I didn't see it."

"How could you?" Tyreese breathed weakly, looking heartbroken at the thought of her blaming herself.

"I should have seen it." Carol spat and shook her head at herself, swiping away a tear when it rolled down her cheek.

Jungkook curled his fingers around her limp hand, squeezing softly to catch her attention, "It wasn't your fault." He pronounced slowly, trying to pierce the words through her.

Carol swatted his words away by pulling her hand back, "I should have seen it." She exhaled weakly and dabbed her sleeve at her nose, "Maybe if the world was normal we could take her to a psychiatrist, give her some pills and she'd be fine but..in this world..." She trailed off, allowing them to fill in the gaps.

"What do you suggest, then?" Jungkook dared to question, feeling something dark and twisted wrap around his shoulders when he realized how this was progressing.

Carol's face slackened, revealing her defeat and acceptance as she repeated her earlier words, "She can't be around other people." The words made everything snap into place and revealed a direct path to a solution. It was a dark and narrow road, filled with thorns and so much agony it threatened to consume the one that chose to walk on it.

Which is exactly why Jungkook wouldn't allow Carol to be the one to do it, "I'm not letting you do it." Jungkook's words and tone of voice caused Carol's teary eyes to flicker up at him.

Carol choked on a breath and squeezed her eyes shut to calm herself before reopening them and looking directly at him, "You're too young, I can't let you carry that weight on your shoulders." A shell of a smile twisted her features, "It has to be me."

"No, it doesn't." Jungkook shot back, curling his fingers into a fist and allowing his eyes to flicker between Tyreese and Carol, "You've lost so much already, I know those girls were like daughters to you and I can't let you do it after you've already lost Sofia." The words felt like glass on his tongue, stabbing into the roof of his mouth every time he dared to utter them, "I don't have kids of my own, and probably never will, I joined you later and didn't bond with them as much as you did." They cut through his belly and made his gums bleed yet he continued despite his mind screaming at him to back away and let Carol handle this because he knew that if she was the one to do it, she would break beyond a point of return, "You don't have to say yes, don't say anything at all, just let me carry this weight for you." He took hold of Carol's hand and searched for her gaze, holding back his tears to hide how much this situation tore him apart, "Leave it to me."

Carol didn't say anything but she didn't have to, the tinge of relief bleeding into her eyes in the form of tears said enough.

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Jungkook felt empty as he walked through the field behind the house with Lizzie by his side. The girl had a bounce in her steps and her hands swung freely without any hints of tension, her face was light and open, revealing the curl of a smile on her lips. When he looked down at her, her eyes flickered up at him and her smile broadened into a grin. He snapped his eyes away and kept walking.

Jungkook dragged his feet, barely lifting them off the ground and slowing them to earn himself more time. He could hear the tick of a clock in his ears and he just wanted to smash his fist through it, shatter it into pieces to stop time. The gun strapped to his hip felt heavy and the metal heated up, burning through his clothes and sizzling against his skin. He wanted to yank it out and hurl it into the grass but he didn't, just kept trudging forward with his face swept clean of emotion and heart heavy in his chest.

"You should pick some wildflowers for Mika," Jungkook barely dragged his tongue over the back of his teeth to form the words, "Give them to her when she comes back."

"Yeah, she'd love that." Lizzie perked up with a chirp and another smile aimed up at him, still bouncing forward with such ease it looked like the weight of the world had fallen off her shoulders after she had killed her sister.

Jungkook rolled his lips together, choking out a small hum in response. His fingers shook and he was quick to squeeze them into a fist. Lizzie tilted her head up to look at him, "We should give her the doll, she'll also like that." The words slipped past her lips and floated into the air without any remorse or guilt.

Something snapped in Jungkook's chest, causing his breath to get knocked into his lungs and tears to rush to his eyes. They burned against his eyes like poison and made them turn red, he fought to hold them back, "Her name's Griselda." Jungkook croaked with so much emotion it made Lizzie's smile falter and then crash.

"What is it?" She leaned over to peer at his quivering lips and red nose, when Jungkook couldn't answer and kept quiet, she stopped walking and turned to face him, "What is it?" Her voice grew shaky and her face twisted into a watery frown.

Jungkook just stared down at her - eyes wet and puffy, lips red from constantly biting them, and face cracking apart, revealing the guilt and sadness he had tried to shove away. He could feel his emotions drip down his skin like droplets of blood, could feel a constant pressure on his chest and a dull ache in his head. He felt dizzy and weak. His legs kept shaking and arms refused to move, words glued themselves to the walls of his throat in protest.

"Are you mad at me?" Lizzie whimpered when he didn't say anything and her face scrunched in distress, "Is Carol mad at me? Is that what you wanted to talk about?" Lizzie reached out and curled her tiny fingers into the sleeve of his shirt. A tiny flower of hope bloomed in Jungkook's heart at her display of guilt and for a moment, he wondered if they could go back, if she could come back from this, "I'm sorry I pointed my gun at her, I just needed her to wait."

And then the hope was stomped out and Jungkook was left feeling cold. His hand hung limp in her hold and his face grew empty, the waterfall of emotion pouring through him was cut off, leaving his chest to feel dark and heavy, "She knows." He rolled out numbly, watching from the deepest corner of his mind as she pulled her hand back and stumbled away from him.

Lizzie's voice was scratchy as she sniffed and cried out, "I'm sorry." She stumbled around until her back was turned to him, until there was a small distance between them, "She's mad at me, that's why she's not talking to me, why you're here to talk to me." She whimpered out, curling her arms around her waist and staring down at the circle of yellow flowers in front of her.

"She loves you, Lizzie," Jungkook mumbled - tongue barely moving, making his words sound slurred and breathless, "And things.." His words died out as he stared at the back of her head, watching as her shoulders started to shake and sobs slipped through her lips, "...things always work out the way they're supposed to." He breathed.

"Please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry." She squeezed out between her sobs.

The sound of her cries, the shake of her shoulders and the view of her curling into herself with her head lowered, made him feel like a monster. He knew what needed to be done. He knew what they had agreed to do. What he had agreed to do. What they came out here for. But his arm remained limp by his side and gun became heavier with each passing second. He felt his skin crawl and just wanted to peel it off his body, felt like his insides were slowly rotting away and maggots were slithering over his bones.

"Lizzie." Jungkook croaked, not noticing the tears rolling down his cheeks until they dripped into his mouth and left a salty taste on his tongue, "Just..." He pushed out, fingers curling into a fist, only to uncurl a second later, "Just look at the flowers." The words left a bitter taste on his tongue and made his heart shrink when he noticed her cries become harsher.

He forced his eyes shut and tried to drift out of his body as he shifted his hand until his fingers brushed against the gun strapped to his hip. He flinched at the coldness of the metal but managed to wrap his fingers around the gun. He hesitated. His ears ached from the sound of her sobs and lungs refused to fill with oxygen. He felt himself shake, felt himself cry, and heard himself exhale a wet whimper as he tugged the gun out and lifted it into the air.

He peeled his eyes open, only to flinch when he saw his hand gripping the gun aimed at the crying girl. The image burned itself into the back of his eyelids, threatening to return whenever a shred of happiness entered his life. He shifted his finger until it hovered over the trigger. Jungkook was knocked out of his body and could feel nothing as witnessed himself press his finger against the trigger. It felt like time had slowed down, like the world had stopped spinning and this reality was just a story written on a piece of paper that was currently being burned to a crisp.

A loud bang filled his ears and he was sucked back into his body, just in time to witness the girl fall to the ground. And as she fell, shadows rushed into his field of vision - turning the day into a night, replacing the sun with a moon, the field with a forest. As she fell, ink seeped into Lizzie's white hair, turning it black, and instead of hitting the ground, he watched her fall into someone's chest. He watched as the person looked up at him in horror, only then did he realize he was staring at himself and the person lying against his chest wasn't Lizzie, but rather Marley.

Jungkook didn't hear himself scream until the gun fell from his hand and he stumbled away. He fell onto his ass and scrambled back, witnessing the forest be replaced by a field and Lizzie's lifeless body lying in a bed of flowers. He stared at the sight, unable to fill his lungs with air because a ball of vomit was lodged into his throat. He twisted his trembling body around and allowed the ball to squeeze itself through his throat and splatter past his lips.

Jungkook's body heaved with pants and choked wheezed and tears dripped onto the ground in a stream. His trembling fingers curled around the strands of grass squashed beneath his palm and he tried to force himself to sit up, only for his body to give out with a sharp cry. He hit the ground and allowed himself to melt into the grass, unable to hold back a sob from tearing through his throat.

That first cry was all it took for the next ones to pour over his lips. His chest squeezed with each sob, with each pant and whimper. His head reeled with each flutter of his eyes because the image of Lizzie's lifeless body hitting the ground was inked into the back of his eyelids. He could do nothing but lay there, crying and desperately begging God to take away the pain wrecking through his chest.

He didn't notice someone falling on the ground behind him until the person wrapped their arms around him and pulled him into their chest, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." The words were pressed into his hair, along with a few light kisses, "I shouldn't have let you do it, I'm so sorry." Carol cried into the side of his head, combing her fingers through his hair as she rocked them back and forth.

Jungkook only cried harder, leaning into her chest in search of some comfort and squeezing his eyes shut to hide from the sight of his sins. And with each sway of their bodies, with each apologetic murmur into his hair, with each press of a kiss atop of his head, he felt the weight be plucked off his shoulders.

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They were silent as they wrapped Lizzie's body in a white sheet.

They were silent as Jungkook carried her to the place where they buried Mika.

They were silent as Tyreese came out of the house with shovels.

They were silent as they dug a hole in the ground next to Mika.

They were silent as they laid Lizzie into the grave.

They were silent as they shoveled dirt on top of her body.

They were silent as they tied together a cross from wooden planks.

They were silent as they stabbed it into the ground.

They were silent as they walked back inside.

They were silent as the day melted into a night and the house grew dark. They were silent as they lit the oil lamps and tried to piece together a puzzle Mika had found the other day. Jungkook didn't have the strength to make a puzzle and found himself gravitating towards the couch. He had been sitting and staring at the same spot in the wall for hours. A blanket was draped over his legs and a glass of juice was being gripped in his hands. Carol had given it to him after she curled the blanket around him but Jungkook just wanted to hurl it at a wall. He didn't. Just accepted it pliantly and continued to bask in the grating silence.

Until the sound of metal scraping against wood met his ears. He blinked and rolled his eyes to the side in search of the sound. He saw Carol and Tyreese sitting at the table, opposite of one another. Carol slid the gun across the table towards Tyreese, only removing her hand when Tyreese's eyes bounced up to her.

"I killed Karen and David."

Carol's confession was soft and airy but it packed a punch as it hit Jungkook in the gut and knocked the air out of his lungs. He knew that Tyreese felt it too, even more than him. Because Tyreese's face flared to life and eyes grew sharper, a mixture of betrayal, shock and anger drenched his skin in sweat and made his features twist.

"I had to stop the illness from breaking out. I had to stop other people from dying." She continued with trembling lips and hushed words - the torment and grief of her actions had clearly been haunting her. Jungkook could only watch as she rolled her head around and forced away her tears before looking back at Tyreese with puffy eyes, "It wasn't Lizzie, it wasn't a stranger. Tyreese," Her words turned into a shaky whimper as she pressed her hand against her chest, "it was me."

A choked sound hit the back of Tyreese's teeth and he pressed his lips shut to suppress the sounds bubbling in his throat. His watery, anger-filled eyes flickered around the room, briefly settling on a wide-eyed Jungkook before snapping away. His hands shook as he rubbed them up and down his thighs, then shifted until he was gripping onto the edge of the table, so tight it started trembling under his grip. Muffled sobs and harsh pants bounced off of the walls, only being caught by Carol's weak voice.

"You do what you have to do." She exhaled with a glance at the gun lying on the table.

Jungkook's eyes widened and lips cracked open, his fingers twitched around the glass of juice - in preparation to grab his own gun and stop Tyreese from shooting her, only for a voice to drift through his ears and fill his head with the memory of yesterday's conversation.

What would you do if it was Taehyung who got killed like that?

I'd kill them.

Maybe even worse than that.

Jungkook didn't know what he'd do if he was Tyreese right now, if it had been Taehyung, instead of Karen. He had told Tyreese that he would kill the person but now that he knows that it was Carol who did it, he didn't know what to think or feel or do. He loved Carol, she was his family and he'd gone through a lot with her. But he also loved Taehyung, maybe even more than her.

The thing was, if Taehyung or Rick or anyone else from the original group had been in Karen's place, Carol would have never killed them. She killed Karen and David because she deemed their lives lesser than theirs.

But if she had...

Jungkook didn't know how he'd react or what he'd do, especially in the mental state he was in now. That's why it was unfair of him to intervene and stop Tyreese. This situation was purely between them and Jungkook had to prepare himself for whatever happened next. He was also aware that the reason why Carol confessed now was that she was broken to the point where she no longer wanted to live. She wanted Tyreese to grab the gun and end her suffering because it would be easier than trying to live with it.

So, he relaxed into the couch and loosened his grip on the glass of juice. He watched as Tyreese shook his head and stared off to the side, unable to look at Carol, "Did she know what was happening?" He choked out in a whisper, "Was she scared?" Carol choked on a sound before shaking her head. Tyreese dragged his eyes over to her, "It was quick?" He puffed the words breathlessly.

"Yes." Carol nodded just as the first tear rolled down her cheek and reached her chin.

Tyreese tore his eyes away and dragged them down until they settled on the gun. Shaky breaths puffed through his nose as his hand crawled over the table and laid over the gun. Jungkook had to look away, he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut, begging to be somewhere else. Perhaps somewhere where he could curl up into Taehyung's arms and listen to the sound of his heartbeats, or hear his raspy voice whisper shitty jokes into his ear, or even feel his arms wrap around him to shield him from whatever was happening around them.

Even wandering around the forest alone would be better than this.

"I forgive you."

Jungkook's eyes snapped open with a sharp intake of air. He whipped his head to the side to look at Tyreese and found that the man had removed his hand from the gun. A silk cloth of disbelief and shock tangled around Jungkook's body, making him grow stiff against the couch. He watched a similar expression zip across Carol's face like lightning.

Tyreese's eyes were unblinking and glued on Carol as he exhaled, "I'm never gonna forget. It happened. You did it. You feel it." His brows drew together and his head swayed weakly, "I know you do." He murmured - voice low and eyes so wide he looked psychotic, "It's a part of you now." His fingers slackened around the edge of the table and then he spat out his next mutter, "Me, too." He exhaled a slow breath and allowed his brows to raise, "But I forgive you."

Carol's lips quivered and her eyes filled with tears that only kept falling, she sniffed through her clogged nose, parting her lips and shutting them before she seemed to find the strength to speak, "Thank you." She pushed out and allowed her eyes to drift down to the table but Jungkook could detect the dejection she felt at Tyreese not shooting her and ending her suffering right then and there.

"We don't need to stay." Tyreese gruffed, finally ripping his eyes away from Carol to look at Jungkook - the expression on his face being softened by the sympathy he felt towards the younger man, "We can't stay." He nodded and looked back at Carol who exhaled a shaky breath and pressed her face into her hands, trying to wipe away the tears that just kept falling.

"Then we'll leave." Jungkook's scratchy voice filled the air, making their eyes bounce over at him. He tightened his hold on the glass before lifting it to his mouth, "In the morning, let's head to Terminus." He spoke around the rim, watching as they nodded in agreement.

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Another day began and Jungkook found himself with bags thrown over his shoulders, a rifle in his hands and his black, walker-gut poncho draped over his chest. The house and the two graves loomed behind them. He could only hope that with each step they took forward, the memories of Mika and Lizzie would slowly be plucked from his mind.

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Haha, ha, ha, pain, I'm in pain. You know it's bad when even I hesitated to put Jungkook into this situation. This entire time I knew I wanted Jungkook to be the one to shoot Lizzie but after writing the last chapter, I started to doubt my decision because what if I break him to the point of no return? I felt like maybe this would be too much for him to handle and maybe it is...

Also the song 'We Must Be Killers' fits so well with this chapter because we witness three different killers in it and Tyreese is the only one who refused to be a killer.