After my escorts left, I collapsed onto my new bed. Cheyenne had led me to my new bedroom. Sadly, Mom received a call that the force needed her, so her, my dad, and my best friend had to jump in the car and leave. As soon as the initial excitement of moving had drained, the sorrow and numbness returned. Drake suggested Cheyenne let me be for a while so I could unpack my belongings.

Wiping a tear off my cheek, I stared at the cream ceiling shielding me from the raging sun. There were two doors exactly across from each other. One the right was the bathroom, which I was to share with Cheyenne. On the left stood my very own walk in closet. Slowly, a fan the color of the ceiling twirled, shadows dancing. A square window offered an abundance of light right next to the washroom and silk curtains billowed in the breeze. The walls were painted a lovely lavender, the carpet almost a fuzzy manifestation of neon purple. A wooden dresser stood to the right of the cream colored door across from me, which perfectly complimented the walls. A small, flatscreen t.v decorated the dresser, a desk, nightstand, and the bed being the only other furniture.

A small smile played at my lips as I recalled how enthralled Cheyenne was to present my room. A bright smile lit up her features as she dramatically swung open the door. She had proclaimed "I decorated it my self! I hope you like it!" Apparently, they had already set up a room for whenever I was to visit them. Guess it came in handy.

The springs in the mattress squeaked as I shifted my position and squeezed my eyes shut. The comforter aided the mattress in hugging my body, the duo providing comfort and warmth. Violent sobs shook my body as I clamped my mouth shut. I couldn't believe I had just ran from prosecution, had drove away from my wrong doing. My face became buried in one of the soft pillows flocking me. Every few seconds I'd pull up and gasp for air. Finally, my lungs yearn for oxygen. Why should air have entered my lungs and my heart pounded in my chest when Tasha's beating heart and rising chest had been stilled forever?

After sniffing and wiping away my tears with the back of my hand, I flopped onto my back. My probably red and itchy eyes slowly wormed their way open. A few remaining tears leaked out of them, spilling onto my cheeks. My chest rapidly rose and fell, head pounding against my skull. In the moment, I wished the Earth would swallow me whole. I attempted to seem brave, to force a faux smile onto my face, but my attempts were futile. As was clearly demonstrated, everyone loathed me. Josh was ready to force a bullet through my heart.

Suddenly, their was a loud rap on the door. "Constance, dear, can I come in?"

Swiftly, I wiped my face with the soft covers and pulled them up to just below my eyes. "Yes, Brenda."

The door softly creaked open. Brenda's soft chocolate locks whacked her pale face. She offered me a grim smile as she closed the door behind her. Then, she ambled over to the bed and sat down next to me. As a shiver involuntarily slipped down my spin, she gently pulled the covers away from my face. Instantly, she frowned, the expression seeming unnatural, almost foreign to her.

"Connie, I understand the guilt can really tear at you. How are you holding up?"

I meekly shrugged. How could she understand the monumental pain stabbing at my fragile heart?

She let out a soft sigh, running a hand through a lock of hair by her face and tugging it behind her ear. "When I was in college, my best friend, Kylie, had a boyfriend. I didn't, but I was desperate. All my friends had boys that loved them, almost like in all those cliche movies. I felt like I was long forgotten, you know?"

Slowly and cautiously, I nodded. Where was she going with this random story?

"Her boyfriend suddenly showed an interest in me. I ended up sleeping with him. Kylie," she sniffed, wiping away a tear that escape from her muddy eye, "happen to find out from one of her boyfriend's friends while he was wasted. Kylie overdosed the next day." She offered me a watery smile at the end of her story.

My eyes widened. "Wow. I had no idea you went through that."

She shrugged, once again running a hand through her hair. A hint of dark blonde was mixed with her regular strands, a subtle contrast. "Drake was the friend that told my friend. Her ex boyfriend killed himself the next day. That's how we bonded. We had both lost someone close to us and we both blamed ourselves. It was really my fault, but he blamed himself for letting the secret slip. We named our first daughter after her, kind of in her honor, her memory."

Awkwardly, I pulled her into a hug. She smelt of peaches and her skin was clammy. Her thin hair fell into my face as she tightened her arms around me. Brenda was almost like a second mother to me. At least, she used to be. Before she moved, before life became busy and they could only visit once a year. Even before they moved a few years ago, things changed when their eldest daughter, Kylie, got involved in vile things she shouldn't have.

After Brenda pulled away, she stuck a smile onto her face. Pain was still evident in her eyes, almost if she had relived the heart wrenching pain that occurred years before.

"Does it ever get easier?" I found myself querying, shakily drumming my fingers against the mattress.

She tilted her head back and forth before nodded. "Yes. It really does. But sometimes, the guilt and pain creep up on you. Really, it depends on the person." After studying my dismayed expression, she added, "I'm sure you'll be fine, Connie. Out of a storm emerges a rainbow. Out of my storm I gained Drake and later my two daughters. Search for your rainbow, okay?"

Heart pounding, I nodded. I wished a rainbow could pop out of the ground and exclaim 'Here I am, Connie! Everything's gonna be just peachy!' Alas, it didn't.

"And," Brenda added with a small smile. "pray."

Slowly, I bobbed my head up and down. I believed. Really, I did. I just wasn't sure anyone could love me after my countless sins, not even God.  I viewed myself in a negative limelight. Usually, I'd compare my looks to those of my friends. I'd wish I was better at, well, everything. That's why I attempted to be sweet to everyone. I understood that people faced pain and hardships; I believed that one tiny action could turn someone's frown upside down. One slip; that's all it took to ruin, and end, a meaningful life.

As Brenda plucked herself from the bed, she suddenly halted in her tracks. "Hey Connie, if you're up to it, I'd love to show you my new store."

I tilted my head from side to side, contemplating my options. I could mindlessly bawl my eyes out, or I could use her shop as a distraction. "Alright. I'll check it out. What exactly do you sell?"

She smiled, though it seemed more like a sly smirk, as she approached the door. "You'll see, dear. Now, why don't you freshen up?"

"Alright," I dramatically sighed, hoisting myself off the very comfortable bed.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, pausing with one hand holding the door slightly ajar, "Would you like Cheyenne to accompany us and show you around the store? If you're up to it, you can even work a shift. I'll pay you, of course."

The allure of spending money tugged at me. Then again, I wasn't sure if I was prepared to hop right into a job. "I'd love it if Cheyenne came, but I'd probably hold off with the shift. Thanks for the offer though."

A grin spreading across her face, she nodded. "Don't worry, Constance. We're gonna jam pack your summer so full of fun that there will be no room for depression."

A dry laugh escaped my lips as I strolled towards the bathroom. "I really doubt that. Depression is clever if not persistent. If you think you can live up to your claim, knock yourself out."

Brenda responded with a short chuckle. "Oh, I plan to live up to it." Then, her expression morphed into a solemn one. "Oh, and we haven't told Cheyenne yet. She just knows you're a little down, not why. Your parents, Drake, and I figured we'd leave that task up to you."

I flashed her a closed mouthed smile as a silent 'thank you' before the door clicked shut. It took me a few minutes to freshen up, which consisted of yanking a brush through my unruly locks and reapplying a smidgen of mascara. As a glanced at myself in the mirror, I frowned. My hair seemed too flat and circles seemed prominent under my light eyes. In that moment, I truly loathed myself. I was too fat, too ugly, too much of a vile demon. How could people stand the sight of me, the cringe-worthy sound of my voice? Who was I to walk the Earth as though nothing had occurred? My heart sank to my feet as I shut the door to my room quite forcibly. Why couldn't I just die, just cease to exist?

I hurriedly raced down the stairs, refusing to force Brenda and Cheyenne to wait. Plus, the sooner I got it over with, the better. I was met with the two racing towards me from the direction of the kitchen. Smiles littered both of their faces. Brenda had a white purse slung precariously over her shoulder while Cheyenne carried a light blue. Their matching hair swung in unison as Brenda yanked open the front door. Hesitantly, I stepped into the sunlight, shooting Brenda a thank you.

The pure sun seemed to pierce the darkness of my soul. Sand caressed my feet and I realized I forgot to put on shoes. Quickly, I ran back inside, only to be met with a smug Cheyenne dangling a pair of flip flops in front of my face.

"Thanks," I muttered, stuffing them on my bare feet as I hopped around for balance.

"Welcome," she laughed, hooking her arm though mine and skipping out the door. Brenda locked up, meeting us in the light blue car parked upon the sand. Yep. Light blue. Seeing as Cheyenne's favorite color was light blue, I wonder who picked the car.

I leaned back into the leather seat. Cheyenne had herded me into the back and plopped down on the left side. Currently, she was shuffling through a playlist on her mom's phone. Her finger scrolled up and down, her eyes greedily scanning the tracks. The screen was blurred from my position, so I glanced out the window and hoped her music choice was tasteful.

Brenda pulled out of her makeshift driveway, sand crunching under the tires. Surprisingly, an unfamiliar tune graced my ears. The tune was oddly soothing, instantly plastering a leisurely smile onto my face. I glanced out of the window as the music began to play, vibrant houses, sand, and deep blue water blending into a pain-worthy scene.

The lyrics weren't the usual break up song or fast paced rap. Yet, I related to them profoundly.

"When you see broken beyond repair, I see healing beyond relief,"  the male artist sang.

My head involuntarily bobbed to the beat and Brenda shot me a sly glance in the rearview mirror.

"When you see wounded I see mended.

You see your worst mistake, but I see the price I paid.

And there's nothing you could ever do to lose what grace has won.

So hold on, its not the end. No, this is where love's work begins.

I'm making all things new, and I will make a miracle of you."

I shot Brenda a glance. Did she ask Cheyenne to play this track? It seemed it be a Christian song. It really pertained to my situation, yet I wasn't sure wether to believe it's optimistic message. Who was this random singer to proclaim that no, my life wasn't over, that there was really hope for someone like me? I felt a strong urge to scream at Cheyenne to shut it off and chuck the infernal contraption housing the song out the window. No one really cared about me. How could they? There was no hope for me.

"Do you like my music, Connie?" Cheyenne suddenly queried, a smile lighting up her entire face and adding a gleam to her eyes. She seemed entranced by the tune, her head swaying and eyes fluttering shut. Her lips moved in sync to the words flowing from the speaker, never missing a beat. It was like she had the lyrics drilled into her mind. Maybe she did.

"Um," I muttered, deciding to save her the long explanation of my depression, "yeah. It's different, but it's, erm, interesting."

Half listening to my response, she nodded. The song eventually faded away to another one, obviously one of her mom's favorites. It must have been a song from the sixties or seventies. It was Brenda's turn to bob her head in time with the beat. Instead of simply mouthing the words, she sang them. Loudly. Even though she couldn't carry a tune, her voice brought a smile to my face. She seemed enthusiastic and carefree. If only I could feel that carefree.

After what felt like forever, we arrived at a shop labeled 'Seashore Outfits.' The words were written in delicate cursive, the light blue of the sign contrasting the pale white paint of the shop. Oh, so she ran a clothing shop.

Cheyenne instantly hopped out of the car, a silly grin on her face. "Last one to dad has to grab the snacks from the back."

As she dashed into the store, I ended up chasing after her. Drake was managing the register, handing a teenage boy a light blue bag. Cheyenne inadvertently collided with his chest as he spun around. I skidded to a halt a few feet away, watching as they both tumbled to the carpeted ground.

A pink cheeked Cheyenne sheepishly lifted her head from the teen's chest and caught my gaze. "Connie, meet my boyfriend!"

________

Thoughts? I know I mention religion in this chapter, but that's not the story's whole plot. However, I do believe in God and I'm sorry if you don't. I'm not going to be reciting the Bible in this story, but God and some Christian songs will be mentioned. Well, probably just this song, in this chapter. The lyrics had a purpose so if you skimmed them, they meant something to the story. I don't like added a lot of lyrics (or any at all) if they don't have a meaning behind them. Anyways, thanks for all the support. I appreciate it!

How do you like Cheyenne? Brenda? Drake (he's not really a big part of this chap, but you'll get to know him more later) Connie? How about this boyfriend of Cheyenne's? Any name suggestions? Cast suggestions? Playlist suggestions (any songs that go well with the story/ a particular chap?)

The song mentioned was Mended by Mathew West. It's my current favorite song. I listened to it while writing.

https://youtu.be/S7P2vb8zm68

The music tastes Cheyenne and her mom have are basically me and my mom. Except I listen to my music with earbuds and she plays the satellite radio. Haha.

Peace!

-Sarah

p.s forgot the dedication again!! Ahh! Dedicated to SilentSpeaker01 for her comments and votes! She's also a very talented writer. :)