Story: The Venerul
Author: petrichortrees

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Reviewer: Jeon_Dinara

ꗃ﹕❜Cover and Title: 7/10

﹕❜Cover:
The cover is good, but the title is small in size. The subtitle too is not visible properly. The background picture is good, with stars and planets, but it’s a little plain. There are many galactical images present on the web with colors: red, blue, purple, and so on, maybe you could use them as your background image. (or) Add two planets with their spaceships, opposite to each other, and a crack in between the page to show their rivalry. (These are just my opinions to enhance the cover, the current one looks good too, just increase the font size)

﹕❜Title:
The title is pretty unique. I didn’t know the meaning of the word, and I think so will many of the readers. I even tried to google it, but it doesn’t show me any results (the only answer I got was “The Venus” when translated from Romanian). Therefore, adding the title meaning either in the blurb or prologue, would be great so that the readers know what exactly they are reading.

ꗃ﹕❜Blurb and Prologue: 8/10

﹕❜Blurb:
The blurb looks pretty well-made. It gives the overall gist and a small intro about the main characters of the story. In the last second line, after “one question” maybe add a colon (:) instead of a full stop. The last line was really good, as it keeps the reader in a state of questioning. Although, I could find the question’s relevance to the book. “When you have nothing left to lose, how much of yourself becomes lost?” It does, however, give some suspense to the readers which will make them read the book.

﹕❜Prologue:
I couldn’t find a chapter named “prologue” but I’m counting the first chapter “Athena Initiative” as the prologue. The prologue that you’ve written is Exposition type (the one that gives information to the readers about the story). It gives us information about the “ET” beings, which is pretty detailed. I was pretty impressed by the biological content that you kept in the chapter, with the cardiac system to the ‘core’ of the organisms. These points were pretty good, but in a prologue, a little detail about the overall atmosphere of the book should also be given, a little introduction about the other human characters would be appreciated. At the end where you wrote “YOU DO NOT HAVE THE JURISDICTION TO VIEW THE REMAINING FILES” and repeated it thrice, set a conflict in the minds of the readers and a problem to be solved in the story which is such a plus pointer.

ꗃ﹕❜First Impact: 8/10

﹕❜Book aesthetics:
Just by seeing the cover I really wouldn’t want to read this book. The first thought that would come to my mind would be “Oh, just another sci-fi book, the same galactical picture of starts, I’d rather read something else” There aren’t any banners or character aesthetics to attract readers to read the book, hence I’d like you to focus on them too.

ꗃ﹕❜Blurb:
This was pretty well made. I liked how all the points of a good blurb were present in it. The question at the last made me want to read the story.

ꗃ﹕❜Prologue:
It was pretty detailed and I loved the description of the organisms and the knowledge imputed to write about them. I would definitely continue to read the book after reading it. (Any sci-fi fan who likes weird things would)

ꗃ﹕❜Grammar and Vocabulary: 8/10

I didn’t find many grammatical errors in the book. Overall the punctuation and verb usage was good.

There were many words used that were not English, some of whose explanation was given but those of the rest weren’t. As a reader, it was a bit confusing to be to adjust to this type of vocabulary. The words that were used in English were good. The level of vocabulary used was B2 type, which is perfect for readers who are in their late teens and older. This can also determine the audience you are aiming for, who reads your work.

ꗃ﹕❜Story Flow and Pace: 7/10

The story flow was pretty good, one chapter connected the dots of the other finally making a line. At first, it was really confusing to read, but as the story progressed, I started to understand the overall scenario of the book.

The story was a bit slow-paced. I think you want to give the details of all that was happening in a scene but sometimes the conversations went way out of context of what was actually happening. Rest was fine.

ꗃ﹕❜Character Focus and Description: 7/10

In the first chapter, I | ECLIPSE: There were too many characters introduced which may leave the reader in puzzlement. I don’t think this is a good way of starting a chapter. This led to a shift of focus from the main character to the side, not-so-important ones. In the other chapters, the characters were introduced in a generous way and focus was given to the protagonists the way they deserve. I’m not against the fact that you should introduce many characters in one chapter, I’m pointing it out just because it was the first chapter - a chapter where many of the readers leave. The sudden introduction of too many people is just not right.

Each and every individual was described in a very beautiful way with good detailing. Whether it was Petrov - the commander or Umm - the female character. Sometimes you can ignore to describe characters that are not that important so that the story has a good pace and doesn’t seem a bit boring.

ꗃ﹕❜Uniqueness: 7/10

An intergalactic war is somewhat of a common theme among sci-fi writers, however, it becomes unique when the story is narrated from the pov of a normal boy who has to catch a Fyliatryl instead of a hero saving their planet and people from the weird-looking aliens. Even the names of the characters were really unique unlike the same old boring: Eva, Aurora, James, Peter, and so on. I liked how you mixed fantasy and slice-of-life with sci-fi which is not usually seen together. 

ꗃ﹕❜Plot: 17/20

I think the story has two plots, one where Mustafa has to kill the Fyliatryl and the other where Fyliatryl has to show his loyalty to his empire. I think they both will merge somewhere in the middle of the story.
I’ll focus on the former.
Rising Action: At the start of the book, when Mustafa is getting ready to face the Fyliatry, he is nervous that he may lose, but ready to take up the challenge - as he doesn’t have any choice.
Climax: The story has been written only till the rising action. Mustafa hasn’t met Fyliatryl yet. So I can’t tell how the climax and falling action will be. Though looking at the overall scenario, I think it’ll be pretty good.

ꗃ﹕❜Writing Style: 6/10

Your writing style is very descriptive. I think that in the ‘feel’ of illustrating the current moment, you forget to describe some important things that the readers must know to continue to read the book in a more satisfied manner.
I was thinking Mustafa was a normal human until I read the line “my tail, my scales”. Again, I saw in a comment, you mentioned that he was born a human. Also, I’m really confused if all this is happening on our earth/ some other planet. You mentioned at the start of the first chapter, that the reader has been dragged from Montana to Zurich, which means it is happening on earth. Then why are they torturing a fellow human? 

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