This was a drabble written for the Project Only The Brave done in pride month!! You can check out what we did for the project on twitter and tumblr: projectotb

Written for the prompt: 'A oneshot where Louis is scared to come out to Zayn because he does not know his opinion on the lgbtqia+ community but ends up coming out when Zayn walks in on him and harry making out jhdjheg'

Title from 1950 by King Princess
Words: 1.8K
Hope you enjoy it!

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All the lonely shadow dances from the cradle to the grave, it's a solo song, and it's only for the brave.

Boo: You coming love? x
Haz: I'll be there xx

"Mate, you're comin', right?" Zayn asked from his room.
"Uh, no! I've got a project deadline."
"What?!"

Zayn dashed out of his room, staring at Louis in disbelief.

"Did I hear that right? You, Louis William Tomlinson, are doing a project? On-time?!"
"It's not on time, you ass, I'm already a day past the submission date, so I need to finish it." Louis rolled his eyes. "And moreover, this isn't like an elite party, is it?"
"Liam Payne, captain of the rugby team and Nick Grimshaw, host of the uni radio station." Zayn deadpanned. "And you're never not up for a party. Is everything okay?"

"Uh- I really need this grade, Zee, Uhm, it's just one party, it's okay!" Louis said, throwing his phone on the bed when he heard a knock on the door. "And moreover, you know me and Nick aren't exactly- Oh, hi Haz."

Harry stood at the doorstep with a huge bouquet of sunflowers and an even bigger smile.

"Who's Haz?"

Harry's eyes widened when he heard Zayn's voice, immediately hiding the flowers behind his back.

"It's my partner, uh, for the project. Harry. Harry Styles?"
"What project even is this, by the way?"
"Zayn, why are you asking so many questions?" Louis sighed as he let Harry in with a small smile. "Just leave? I'm trying to be productive for once."
Harry sent Zayn a small smile, who gave him a weird look but acknowledged him with a nod.
"Goodness, alright, no need to get so defensive."

Shooting a strange look at both of them, Zayn grabbed his phone and bike keys.

"Nice sunflowers, mate, didn't know you changed your minor to botany," Zayn said, shutting the door behind him a tad bit louder than usual.

Louis sighed and collapsed on their single-seater with his hands in his face. Harry, who'd silently watched the entire conversation, finally spoke up.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry Lou, I thought he had left-"
"It's okay, Harry, calm down." Louis sighed, walking over to his bed and falling face first. Harry frowned and walked up to him and sat down.
"Louis?"
"Hmm?"
"Turn around." He whispered, pulling Louis' head onto his lap.

"H, what-"
Harry shushed him and began to run his hand through his hair, massaging his scalp to calm him down.

Louis shut his eyes and sighed again, relaxing into Harry's touch.

"You know I'm not out to Zayn, right?" He began.

Harry hummed in response, rubbing Louis' temples.

"M so scared, H. All these years, I never really had a proper partner, you know. The chance to tell him, like, never came."

"I've known him since we were kids, Haz, he's been like, my everything. For real, I can't imagine my life without him. But at the same time, I'm so scared. I don't know his opinion on it. I'm twenty-two, for fucks sake, we're not kids anymore, but you know-" he rambled, hand gestures getting bizarre as he nearly hit Harry in the face.

"Love, love, love." Harry ushered, taking Louis' hands in his, giving them a squeeze. "Age has nothing with coming out, you know that yeah?"
"I know." Louis sighed. "I know." He murmured. "Y'know that lingering feeling of guilt, when you're hiding something that's a huge part of your life from someone who's a huge part of your life? It's like you drift further and further from them with, like, every second you spend with them. Nothing remains the same. You want to tell it to them, they're so close to you, they know you, they've seen you at your worst, they've been with you in everything you've done, they love you."

"And that's what scares me the most, Haz. I love him. And what if coming out to him could mean losing him?" Louis sat up. "I don't want to lose him," he whispered, blinking back tears and resting his head on Harry's shoulders. "I don't want to lose him."

"I'm not afraid of coming out, I'm afraid of losing one person I love," He whispered, intertwining their fingers and bringing them up to brush his lips against Harry's knuckles. "For another."

Harry clambered into his lap, straddling him and pulling him in a bone-crushing hug, Louis burrowing his face in Harry's neck, taking a deep breath.

Home.

"You, Louis Tomlinson, don't owe anything to anyone. You are one of the bravest people I've ever seen. Bold, courageous, kind, compassionate, you are everything to the ones you love. You both have known each other since you were four. Four, Louis. Toddlers. You guys have grown up together. I've seen the way you both speak about each other, how much you both care about each other. You guys are like the definition of brother from another mother, I've never seen two mates so close with such an amazing bond." He assured, cradling Louis' face in his hands, noses bumping. Louis smiled at his boy, hands settling on his hips. "It's about you, babe. It's up to you. I know I'm in no place to speak, I don't know Zayn but," He said, thumbing the top of his cheeks. "I think he'll be okay with it." he finished hesitantly.

Louis leaned forward and brushed their lips together, Harry's eyes fluttering shut.
"I love you. So much," Louis whispered in-between small kisses. "'M so glad to have you in my life. I love you."
"I love you, two. Three. Four. Five. To infinity." Harry giggled.
"You sappy piece of shit." Louis laughed as Harry put his arms around his shoulders. Both stared silently at each other for a minute, smiles etched on their faces.

"I think I want to tell Zee," Louis said all of a sudden.
"That's amazing. 'M so proud of you."
"You'll be there when I tell him?"
"It's your choice, love. Personally, I think the moment should be private, just between you two. And like, I think it'll be a lot for him to introduce me immediately, y'know. Like, I dunno. I don't want to shove myself into his face or summat."
"I could tell him and if things go well, You could properly meet him, as my boyfriend, on our first anniversary?"
"I'm fine with anything." Harry smiled. "Oh my god, just a month to our first anniversary. It feels like yesterday when I accidentally peed on your shoe."
"Yeah, 'accidentally', sure love. You pissed drunk, making fun of the way I talk-"
"Says the one who was ogling me from the back of the class." Louis playfully swats his chest. "Now, shut up and kiss me you fool."
"As you say, your highness."

Things got heated in no time, faces flushed and hot as they kissed, surroundings becoming more and more blurry as Louis began sucking a bruise on Harry's jaw.

"It's a weekday and I have to perform on stage tomorrow for the talent show, so no sex."
"It's been a whole week," Louis whined.
"You just get to make out with me today, Tomlinson. But don't worry, I've got special plans for the weekend, honey." He wriggled his eyebrows.
"Alright." Louis fake-groaned as Harry adjusted himself on his lap again, bringing their lips back together.
"Could kiss you for hours." Louis murmurs. Harry only hummed in response.

What they didn't notice in between hushed whispers and soft noises was the front door creaking open.

Zayn stood at the door with his mouth agape and eyes wide open as he watched the two.

He stood and waited, hoping they'd both notice someone was at the door but too engrossed in each other, they didn't even bat an eyelash toward the half-open door. And so, making the executive decision, Zayn shut the door loudly and stepped inside, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

Louis' heart dropped to his stomach with the thud of the door.

Harry nearly snapped his neck as he turned around, falling off Louis' lap and onto the ground with a squeak, eyes wide.

"You're- uh, what-" Zayn began, only to be cut off by Louis.

"I'm gay." Louis blurted, eyes shut tightly as he stood up. "I'm gay, I've known it since I was nineteen." He continued, fists balled, nails digging into his palms. "And Harry's my boyfriend, has been for nearly a year now." He added hesitantly.

Louis could hear nothing apart from his own heart beating out of his chest. Blood rushed to his ears, heat prickling his body and tears prickling his eyes, which he refused to open.

"I'm gay." He whispered again to no one in particular as he felt a tear slide down his cheek.

But he felt a strange rush and shock surge through him, goosebumps breaking across his skin when he felt two familiar hands wrap around him.

"That's cool," Zayn mumbled into his shoulder. "Now don't cry, your boyfriend seems worried."
"What?" Louis muttered in shock. "Th-That's cool?"
"Yeah, babe." Zayn smiled. "That's cool. I just feel betrayed because you didn't trust me." He added jokingly.
"Oh my god." Louis hugged Zayn tightly. "Oh my god, Zee, you're okay!"
"Of course I'd be okay you fucker. Just didn't expect to walk into a full-on snogging sesh."
"I'm so sorry, I-I was just so scared-"
"Hey, it's okay. I can't say I understand how you felt, but I'm glad you could finally tell me."
"Thank you," Louis whispered.
"You don't need to thank me. Love you."
"Love you too."

Harry fanned his face as he got up, wiping a stray tear away. The pair broke out of their hug, Louis wiping his face on his t-shirt.

"Should I add him to the guestlist then?"
"Guestlist? For what?" Zayn asked.
"Uh, we had planned on inviting some friends over and, uhm, telling you guys about us?" He mumbled sheepishly. "On our first anniversary...?" He added cautiously.
"First anniversary?!"
"In a month."
"You bastard!" Zayn slapped Louis' hand. "Next thing I'll know you'll be married with three kids."
"Oh shut up." Louis swats Zayn's hand away, giggling at Harry who blushed at the mention of children.
"Now if you excuse me, I need to see if this lad is worthy of my best mate," Zayn said, pulling Harry in for a hug.

The three of them laughed heartily, warmth, love and comfort seeping through their hearts and into the room.

Being scared of coming out not about not trusting that person, it's not doubting them, it's about the fear of losing them. The fear that one truth about you might flip everything upside in the most unpleasant way one could imagine. Them being wiped out of your life, them leaving you after everything you have been through.

But love is only for the brave.