Idea by MaraLinart31 I hope it's alright (:
Also you might find this one sad, just a warning.

Also I'm feeling kinda shitty, so it may be more sad/ dramatic than a normal situation like this would go in real life, so I'm sorry.
Edit: I wrote this a few days before publishing and I'm okay now :)

BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HARRY!!! I CAN'T BELEIVE HE'S 27, CAN THEY STOP GETTING OLDER JUST FOR ONE SECOND! I WANT TO CRY

Tw⚠️: Self harm

3rd person P.O.V

Harry knows he shouldn't. He knows that it's bad. But he can't help it. He hurts so much, and for a little while he only has to focus of the pain in his arms instead of the pain in his mind.

He's begging to feel that moment of pain, anything to make him feel numb for a couple hours. He pressed the blade further into his forearm, making deeps cuts over the old scars that almost healed.

He knows he's broken.

It's like when you break a bone, even when the pain is gone, your not fully healed. You might never be.

No one knows how Harry feels, know one knows what he does when he's alone. If they did know, they would make him stop. But he cant stop, he needs to stop feeling, just for a second. The stress of everything, the band, music, tours, being the perfect singer, it's too much.

It was strangling him slowly, he felt like he was trapped in a glass case and water was slowly filling up inside. He cant get out, he's slowly drowning and no one can save him.

Even his bestfriend, Zayn, didn't know. Or his boyfriend, Louis. He tells them everything but this- this he just couldn't tell. This is a secret between Harry and the moon. The moon knows. It watched him every night, on the bathroom floor, tears streaming down his cheeks, blade pressed into his skin. The moon knows.

He repeats words in his head like a mantra. Your not good enough. Your not good enough. Your not good enough.

Anyone else would disagree and they would tell Harry he's wrong but that doesn't mean he would believe what they say.

He drags the blade over his arm a few more times until he reaches that familiar numbness he craved to feel. He leant his head back against the wall, the blood ran down his arms and onto the floor, but he didn't care. He didn't have the strength to care.

He was about to stand up when he heard a knock at the bathroom door followed by a voice he didn't want to hear right now. "Harry?" Zayn calls as he knocks again. And in this very moment, Harry is regretting giving him a key to his apartment.

He wanted to talk, he wanted to say he's okay and he would be out in a minute, but he couldn't. There was a lump in the back of his throat from crying, he had no energy, he wanted to sleep.

"Harry, if you don't open this door. I'm going to open it myself. You've been acting weird all day and I wanted to see if your okay." Zayn's voice rang through Harry's ears, he couldn't come in, he couldn't. He would see his arms.

Harry pulled his body of the cold floor and used the wall to steady himself before running the tap putting his arm under the stream, it burned and Harry hissed as the water ran over the fresh cuts. Was it bad that he liked the way it burned?

"Harry?!" Zayn called again once he heard the water running. Harry panicked and rubbed a towel over his arm, covering it in blood as he bit his lip trying to stop from screaming. "I'm coming in."

Harry tried to stop him but he had no time and soon enough Zayn was opening the door and Harry was breathing heavily as he looked into Zayn's eyes. Harry was holding a bloody towel, dried tears on his cheeks, and his arms were red and bleeding.

Zayn gasped as he tears formed in his eyes, he looked between Harry's face and his arms. "What did you do?" He whispered as Harry shook his head and broke down crying. He fell to the floor sobbing making Zayn's eyes widen before hurrying over to his best friend. He didn't say anything, he just held Harry while he sobbed, he rocked them back and forth whispering things in Harry's ear while he tried to stop himself from crying.

After a few minutes, Harry's sobbing had stopped and now he was just whimpering in Zayn's arms. "Don't tell anyone, please." Harry whispered as Zayn pulled away and wiped the tears off Harry's cheek.

"Harry-"

"Promise me Zayn. You tell no one, not Louis, Liam, Niall, my mum. No one." Harry said as Zayn bit his lip and looked down.

"Okay, I promise. But only if you promise to come to me whenever you feel bad and feel like you want to cut, just come to me. Promise?" Zayn said as Harry nodded and leaned his head back on Zayn's chest.

They stayed there for a few more minutes, just in each others company before Zayn realized he needed to clean out Harry's cuts. He sighed and sat up pulling Harry with him, they stayed silent as Zayn washed them out and then wrapped bandages around both his arms.

Once they were done they walked into the main area of the apartment in silence, neither of them really knew what to say.

"Harry- why did you do it?" Zayn broke the tension by talking first.

"I-" Harry stuttered and looked down at the ground as Zayn moved closer and wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulders, and that was all it took for Harry to start crying. He told Zayn everything, from the first time he did it, why he did it and why he kept doing it. Zayn just held him and listened, Harry liked that he didn't push him to say anything, and part of him was glad somebody knew.

After the deep conversation the two had, Zayn got up to get some ice cream from the freezer so the two of them spent the rest of their night, watching Friends and eating ice cream.

~

A few days had passed since Zayn found out about Harry's self harming, and because of Zayn, Harry was a week clean. That's the longest he's been clean for a while, every time he feels like he wants to cut he goes to Zayn and they have a chat and Harry ends up forgetting about what he was stressed or upset about and ends up having a good night with his best friend, eating junk food and watching films.

But because harry was spending so much time with Zayn, he hadn't properly spoken to Louis for around a week, and Louis was starting to get suspicious, Harry never spent anytime with him anymore, he was always with Zayn and Louis would be lying if he said he wasn't a little hurt.

Tonight was another night where they boys would have there annual movie night, because of tours and being in the studio all the time, they make as much time as the can to relax together.

They were all sat in Liam's apartment watching toy story 3 with a bunch of snacks. Louis was sat on the couch with Liam next to him, then Niall, then Zayn and Harry were sat on the other side of the couch. Harry was leaning on Zayn's shoulder while Zayn had his arm around Harry.

Louis couldn't help but feel slightly upset that they were cuddling, normally he wouldn't really care but it hurt more tonight because there was a spare seat next to Louis, but Harry ignored him and sat next to Zayn instead. Louis swallowed the lump in his throat and focused on the tv, ignoring the tears that threatened to fall.

He knew Zayn and Harry were close but in the last week Harry had spent more time with Zayn than he had his own boyfriend. Every time Louis would ask if he wants to go out or he wants to talk Harry says he's with Zayn and he will call him later, but he never does.

Louis can't help but feel like there's something else going on between Harry and Zayn, something more than just friends. He doesn't want to think it, but somethings going on and Louis cant help but think that maybe Harry loves Zayn and stopped loving him. Tears fall down his cheeks whenever he thinks about Harry not loving him anymore, but it hurts more knowing that they're all friends but Harry loves Zayn instead of him.

He didn't realize he was crying until Liam nudged his side. "Lou, you okay?" He whispered over the film. Louis nodded and wiped his tears away before standing up making everyone look at him. It was pretty obvious he had been crying, his eyes were red and slightly puffy and even over he film you could hear the stuffiness in his nose.

"Err guys, I'm gonna go home. I- err have stuff to do." Louis mumbled as he looked at the boys nervously, insecurity building up making him wonder if any of the boys really liked hanging out with him.

"Oh ok, umm call me later if you need to." Niall said realizing Louis was upset, Louis just nodded and forced a small smiled before grabbing his phone and walking out the living room. He hoped Harry would run after him and ask him what's wrong, just like in films.

But he didn't.

Louis turned around once more and only Liam and Niall were still watching him. Zayn and Harry had turned back around.

Louis bit his lip to stop himself from crying before walking out of Liam's apartment. But the minute he got to his car he let it all out, he cried for what felt like hours before he started driving home.

He know couldn't get rid of the thought saying Harry loved Zayn and not him. It broke him to think that, but he couldn't think of anything else.

But then again, he knew everyone would leave in the end, the fans would, his friends , everyone he loves, will eventually leave him.

He just thought Harry would have loved him for a little bit longer.

He got into bed, too exhausted to even get changed, and as soon as he laid down he was fast asleep, hoping that he could just hide away forever.

~

A few days had passed since the boys last saw Louis, he read their texts but didn't answer them, he declined their calls, and he didn't let them in his apartment when they came round. He had completely shut them out. He wasn't even turning up to their writing sessions as they had to start on the new album soon.

Some people may think its stupid, but to Louis, its a defense mechanism. If he pushes everyone away, they can't hurt him as much when they eventually leave. Because loving Harry and then being ignored and pushed aside hurt a lot more than someone could imagine.

And if he never got in contact with the boys, Harry can never say he no longer love Louis, Harry can never say that he loves Zayn instead. Harry can never fully break Louis' heart.

Louis took one last drag of his cigarette before putting it out and throwing it onto the table, covered in other cigarette butts and beer bottles. He was about to sit down on the couch when his phone rung, it was Liam. Again. He declined it and chucked his phone somewhere in his apartment.

Lottie came over yesterday after Niall told her Louis wasn't talking to them, she had a key so she walked right into Louis' apartment, nose cringing at the sight. There was a strong smell of smoke and nicotine, beer and just a musty smell.

She walked into the kitchen to see Louis leaning against the counter with beer in his hand. She took the bottle out his hand and put it down before telling him to get a grip, he stayed silent and listened to her ranting about how he needs to talk to the boys. He nodded so she would leave him alone before she yelled that he needed to shower and walked out of the apartment.

~

It had almost been two weeks since they last talked to, or saw Louis, Liam was getting sick of it and decided to get all the boys round his place to talk about what to do. So that's what he did. Now Niall, Zayn and Harry were all stood in the his living room trying to figure out what happened.

"Lottie said the apartment smelt like nicotine and that there was beer bottles everywhere." Niall said remembering what Lottie told him a week ago.

"So clearly somethings happened." Liam said as he rubbed a hand over his face. "He left mine that night, he was crying and I asked him if he was okay, then he nodded and said he was leaving, then he stops answering us and talking to us." Liam sighed looking at the boys "I dont get it, I cant think of anything!" He was getting stressed and Niall realized so he placed a calming hand on Liam's back. "Harry, you're his boyfriend, when was the last time you spoke to him? Because surely he would have spoken to you about something."

Harry lowered his head and looked down. "Err three weeks ago."

"But he stopped talking to us two weeks ago?" Niall questioned as Liam looked up at Harry. "Did you have an argument?"

"No." Harry said as he looked up. "I mean I guess, he talked to me a bit but I was busy." The minute Harry said it out loud he realized how many times Louis tried to talk or hang out with him and every time he blew him off. He started to worry that the reason Louis wasn't talking to anyone was his fault, maybe Louis was struggling just like him but no one knew. Zayn noticed Harry was getting upset and he said that he'd call them tomorrow before leaving for his flat with Harry.

"It's my fault isn't it?" Harry asked once they reached Zayn's apartment.

"No, Harry its not. You didn't tell Louis to stop talking to us." Zayn replied as he sat down on the couch.

"Of course I didn't tell him to stop talking to us! Because I didn't speak to him at all, Zayn!" Harry was starting to worked up and Zayn was getting worried after a few days ago he found harry cutting again.

"Harry, calm down. It's not your fault. We'll figure it out." Zayn rushed out as he placed a hand on Harry's back.

"No, we need to go, all of us. We need to." Harry stood up and walked towards the door before sending a text to Liam and Niall.

"Harry-"

"No. Are you coming or not?" Harry cut him off as he had his hand on the door, Zayn sighed but nodded and walked closer to Harry. "Good." And they both left the apartment and quickly drove to Louis'.

When they got there, Liam and Niall were already stood at the door. "He's not opening it." Liam sighed as Niall knocked again.

"Louis, you little shit. Open the door. We wanna talk to you." Niall said as he continued knocking.

"Let me try." Harry said as he walked over to the door, he took a deep breath and spoke. "Lou. Please open the door. I'm sorry." He whispered the last bit.

Everyone froze when they heard something from the inside of the apartment, but the door didn't open. "Louis, I will break your door down! We're not leaving until we talk to you." Liam said as he stepped closer to the door. Nothing. it was silent again. "Fine." Liam huffed.

Niall and the other boys stepped back slightly as Liam went to kick the door. "Wait!" Niall yelled just as Liam was about to break the door. "He never locks his door."

Liam walked closer and twisted the handle, and surely enough it opened. "Could have told me that before I got into the karate position." Liam mumbled as they all walked inside, they only had one foot inside before the smell of cigarettes burned their noses, they cringed but stepped further in.

"Lou?" Niall called as the stepped further into the messy apartment, they all stopped when they heard footsteps coming towards them.

"I would have kind of liked to see Liam kick my door down." Louis said as he walked into the area where the boys were stood, he had a lit cigarette hanging in between his lips.

"You look like shit." Niall deadpanned as Louis rolled his eyes. It was true though, Louis knew it was. He had dark circles under his eyes, his eyes were more grey than blue and his pupils were dilated, his hair was a disheveled, his clothing was crinkled and messy.

"Cheers Niall." Louis muttered before turning around and putting out the cigarette.

"Where are you going, we came here to talk to you." Liam said sternly as he stepped further into the messy apartment. "You cant shut us out now."

Louis stopped and turned around, locking eyes with Harry before looking at Zayn. "Fine, say what you wanna say." He was trying to act like he didn't care but he was terrified, he knows he's been stupid, and he knows he's been a shit friend but after he first ignored them he was more scared to go back, fearing what they'd say.

"Why are you pushing us away?" Liam cut straight to the point as he looked into Louis' eyes. He saw straight through Louis' tough guy act, he knew he was scared, he knew Louis was fragile and hurt easily. That side of him no one really sees, not the fans, sometimes not even the boys. Louis tried to hide it.

Louis was still partly high, and he didn't have the strength to argue with them anymore, he wanted comfort. "Do you want the truth or a lie." Louis said making Liam give him a stern glare. "Truth it is." Louis sighed and leant against the couch behind him. "I know I've been shit alright, that's one thing I am sure of, but you're all gonna leave me anyway, and if I pushed you away first maybe it wouldn't hurt so much."

"What are you talking about?" Niall stepped forward so he was next to Liam. "We're not going to leave you. First of all we're in a band together, second of all we love you."

"Harry said he loved me. But he doesn't anymore." Louis mumbled and started fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"Louis you're not making sense, of course Harry loves you!" Zayn stepped in, making Louis' eyes snap towards him.

"No he doesn't. He loves you doesn't he? He stopped talking to me, wanting to be with me, but he was always with you. He cuddled with you, not with me, you kissed his cheek and his head, but I couldn't even talk to him before he said he was at your apartment. He loves you instead of me."

Louis stopped and Harry had tears in his eyes as everyone stood in shock. "It's not like that Louis." Zayn said as Louis closed his eyes.

"Then what is it? Because there's clearly something." Louis' voice was starting to rise.

"I can't tell you, but he doesn't love me, not like that." Zayn was starting to shout now too.

"So every time he's with you and not me, is nothing?! What can I not know?! Does he not trust me?!" Louis yelled as tears rolled down his cheeks, Harry was crying too as he watched Louis and Zayn argue.

"Louis, its not like that and you know it! Just get a grip, there's nothing going on between me and Harry!" Zayn yelled back.

"Then what the fuck do I not know! I know I'm not the best person in the world, but I thought my own boyfriend would tell me things!" Niall and Liam were stood in shock, not having a clue what was happening.

"He hangs out with me because he wants to Louis, there's nothing wrong with that! And I just happened to find something out!"

"Well wh-"

"I cut myself, okay?!" Harry yelled making everyone go silent, heads snapped towards him as Zayn sighed and Louis was frozen. "Zayn found me, and he said to go to him whenever I felt bad, so I did. And I'm sorry that I made you think that I didn't love you. I do. That's why I didn't want to tell you, I didn't want to burden you with my problems." Harry confessed as he looked into Louis' eyes.

"Harry I-" Louis stopped as he looked down at the ground, he felt stupid now. He remembered all the times when harry kept his hoodie on all the time, insisting he was cold even if it was boiling outside and he was sweating, all the times Harry spent ages in the 'shower' and came out with red eyes, Louis just thought it was from the steam. He should have realized.

"Let's give them a minute." Liam whispered as he grabbed Zayn and Niall's arms and pulled them out the apartment. Louis didn't say anything until the boys left.

"I'm so fucking sorry." Louis breathed out as he stepped closer to Harry slowly, scared he might push him away. "I was being stupid and I thought you didn't want to be with me anymore, I'm so fucking sorry, I feel like a shit boyfriend, and I guess I am. How could I not fucking realize." Louis closed his eyes and gripped his hair in his hands. "I'm so fucking stupid, I should have been there for you- I should have known and have helped you instead of being a child and shutting you out." Louis pulled harder at his hair, making Harry worried he might pull his hair out.

"Louis." Harry stepped forward and grabbed his boyfriends hands, gently removing them from his hair. "It's fine."

"No, Harry its not." Louis sighed as he looked into Harry's green eyes. "I'm going to be apologizing till the day I die, I shouldn't have been so involved with work that I didn't know. I should have helped you, or spoken to you about it and then maybe I wouldn't have thought of that stupid theory that you didn't love me. Maybe you would have felt comfortable to tell me-"

"Louis, listen to me. I made Zayn promise not to tell anyone, you couldn't have known. I hid it well, I know I did, Zayn only found out because he saw me, if he didn't, he wouldn't have known either. And I technically pushed you away first, I should have taken some time to talk to you but I didn't, I blew you off, I made you think that I didn't love you, so I'm sorry." Harry whispered as he let go of Louis' wrists.

"Why didn't you tell me.." Louis whispered.

Harry sighed and looked at the floor. "I didn't want to burden you with any of my problems, and I was also afraid, I was afraid of what you'd say."

"You could never be a burden, Haz. I love you, all of you, that means all your insecurities and fears, I wouldn't have turned my back on you or anything like that, I just wished I could've helped you." Louis said as he reached out and gently stroked Harry's cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"I'm better now, I'm not amazing, but I'm better." Harry said as he leaned into Louis' touch. "Zayn helped me, it's still hard sometimes but he helped."

Louis smiled and pulled Harry a little bit closer. "I want to be there for you if you'll let me. I want to hold you when you sad, I want you to be able to tell me when you feel like you want to cut. But only if you want me to, if you dont, I understand. I will leave Zayn to help you, because I care about you and I want you to be happy, and if Zayn is helping then spend as much time with him as you want. I'll step out the way."

"I would like if y-you helped me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but now you know I would like you to help me too." Harry smiled a little when Louis nodded.

"Of course, and you dont need to keep saying sorry, its not your fault. It's mine for being oblivious and jealous and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. So I'm the one who needs to say sorry." Louis said as Harry moved closer into Louis' touch.

"And you have, and I already forgave you ages ago. We both have things to be sorry for, so lets just stop saying sorry. We cant change the past. But we can make the future." Harry smiled more.

"Okay." Louis paused and moved a little bit closer. "Can I kiss you?" Louis whispered as Harry giggled and nodded.

"You dont have to ask." He said before leaning in the rest of the way to join their lips. The kiss wasn't needy or rough. It was sweet, gentle. Caring. Full of love. "I love you Lou, I do. I love you so much, and I'm so-"

"No sorry's remember." louis cut him off and kissed his nose lightly. "I love you too, petal." Harry smiled at the nickname and leaned in again.

They both had regrets and things they wished they could change, but they cant. And that's okay, people make mistakes and people have regrets, but we also learn from the mistakes we make.

They know they'll be okay, their love is stronger than they think. And when they're lost in the dark and they cant seem to find each other, their love will be the light and bring them back together.

Because love wins. It always will.

A/N: I feel like this is a good place to end it, so if your happy or dont want to read anymore, then you can stop here because this next bit is just some extra stuff I wanted to do, its not sad or anything its just a bit of fluff.

Louis and Harry were hugging when the boys came back in, they pulled apart and stood close beside each other as the others walk closer. "Lou, your apartment is disgusting. You need to clean it." Niall laughed as he looked around.

"We can help." Harry smiled from where he was gently leaning against Louis.

"Really?" Louis looked over at him with a shocked expression.

"Yeah, then I get to sleep here." He smiled more and leaned his head on Louis' shoulder. "I missed sleeping next to you."

"So did I, love. So did I." Louis whispered as he pecked the top of Harry's head before turning back to the boys.

"We can help you Louis." Liam spoke up as he smiled.

"Thanks, guys. Also I wanted to apologize to you too. I was shit, I was a shit friend. And I'm sorry for pushing you away. I was just scared and paranoid that you guys didn't really like me and it was all just an act, I dont really know why I thought that, but I'm sorry." Louis said as he looked at the boys' with sincerity written all over his face.

"It's okay, Lou. Just know that if you ever feel like we're going to leave, talk to us. Don't push us away." Liam told him and Louis nodded before whispering something to Harry. Harry nodded and waked into the kitchen with Liam and Niall while Louis took a deep breath and walked over to Zayn who was stood near the door.

"I'm sorry. You were helping and I took out my insecurities of people leaving on you, it was bad and I shouldn't have. So I'm sorry. And I wanted to thank you for helping Harry, and keeping him safe when I didn't." Louis spoke quietly as he looked into Zayn's eyes.

"No worries man, and dont beat yourself up about it, you didn't know, you couldn't have known. And I'm sorry for making you believe that Harry didn't love you. I know how scared you get about people leaving and slipped my mind that that's how you were feeling, I'm sorry." Zayn smiled sadly at Louis.

"It's okay, Zee. I know you didn't mean to. I just got stuck in my head for too long." Louis pulled Zayn in for a hug and they stayed like that for a couple minutes. It had been a rough few weeks and they both needed this.

Louis and Zayn started cleaning up the living room before Harry, Liam and Niall came back in after having a chat about what happened today. They played music and sang while they cleaned up, they hadn't been all together for a while now so this was nice for them to have fun. All five.

Harry felt better. He did. Somehow the people he cared about most, knowing the truth about how he felt was relieving. He wasn't alone anymore. He had people to help, to guide him.

He thought that if they knew it would be the end of the world, but it wasn't, they supported him and they were all going to help him. And Harry was going to make sure that louis knew he was loved everyday, no matter what. Because everyone deserves love. Whether you think you do or not. You'll fall in love at least once, and then it's up to you to make it last. So hold on tight to the things you love.

By 8pm they had cleaned Louis' apartment and now they were sat on the couch watching a film while eating pizza. Liam, Niall and Zayn were under a blanket on the couch and Harry and Louis were on the loveseat.

Louis had his arm wrapped around Harry while Avatar played in the background but Louis wasn't paying attention to the film. How could he when someone as beautiful as Harry was tucked into his side. Louis smiled and placed a soft kiss to Harry's temple before moving a strand of loose hair out of his eyes.

"Lou, we're gonna head out." Liam said as he stood up with Zayn and Niall. "It's getting late and it's been a long day."

"Okay, thanks for everything guys. Really. Thank you." Louis smiles at them and stood up after he gently moved Harry who was half asleep.

"No problem Lou, we're always going to be here for you." Niall said as he hugged Louis, he hugged back and they all said goodbye to both Harry and Louis before leaving the apartment.

Louis walked over to where Harry was sat on the loveseat with a dopey grin. "What do you wanna do, love?" Louis spoke with a gentle voice as he crouched down in front of Harry.

"Cuddle." Harry mumbled as he turned his head into the pillow behind him, Louis chuckled fondly at Harry before picking him up bridal style.

"Okay, we'll go to the bedroom and lay down in there and I will play a film." Louis said as he carried his boyfriend into the bedroom. He placed him gently down on the bed before going to pull the covers over him.

"Wait." Harry said as he placed his hands on top of the duvet. "Can I have pair of your sweatpants?"

Louis nodded and walked over to the closet and got out some sweatpants, he chucked them onto the bed for Harry while he got changed himself. When he turned around to face the bed, Harry was lying on his back, Louis' sweatpants on and just his shirt, no hoodie.

He looked at Louis nervously and he bit his lip when he noticed Louis froze a little. Louis quickly realized Harry was getting nervous so he gave him a warm smile before walking round to the other side of the bed.

He got in next to Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer and making Harry laugh in the process. Louis picked a random film and moved a little so he was laying on his back, Harry had his head on Louis' chest, and their legs were entwined.

When Harry moved his arm to wrap it over Louis stomach, he revealed the faint white marks on his arm with a few red ones on top. Louis felt tears come to his eyes when he saw them but he quickly blinked them away. He sat up a little bit and used his arm that wasn't around Harry to gently get a hold of Harry's wrist.

Harry looked up at him and realized Louis was already looking at him, almost like he was asking for permission to have a look at them. Harry gulped and nodded before Louis kissed his forehead and turned his head to look at his forearm, he turned Harry's wrist over to properly look at them.

He could see the faint white scars of old cuts and then he could see the few new red lines of the more recent ones, he gently ran his fingers over them, tracing the lines. Harry watched him intently eyes flicking between Louis' face to where his finger was gently running over the cuts.

Then he stopped and Harry started to worry that maybe Louis was disgusted by them, but instead Louis brought his arm closer and he pressed a kiss to each of the little lines on Harry's arm. "I love you." He whispered after he kissed each one. "All of you."

Harry felt like his heart was going to burst, how did he get so lucky to have Louis? He didn't realize he was crying until Louis leaned over and kissed them away. Harry smiled and kissed his lips before Louis took his other arm and did it all over again. It was his way of telling Harry he loved very single part of him, all the good and all the bad.

When he was done he let go of Harry's arm and kissed his forehead again. "I love you." He whispered once more, this time looking into Harry's love filled eyes.

"I love you too, Lou. So much." Harry whispered as he wrapped an arm around Louis' stomach before resting his head back on Louis' chest. He felt so safe next to Louis, like nothing could hurt him. He was happy. Genuinely happy.

And in love.

There was no doubt in his mind. He was truly, madly and deeply in love with Louis.

He always will be.

~

It's been almost been a year since all the boys found out about Harry's self harm, and they helped him a lot. He he saw a therapist for a while, and because of the help from everyone around him after a couple months he didn't have to go anymore and he had been clean for 6 months. Harry was still Happy, and he spoke to the boys whenever he felt to overwhelmed and they were always there for him.

Harry remembered to tell Louis he loved him everyday and remind him that he's not leaving because he's not, not ever. He loves Louis too much to ever leave him.

But now Harry is 11 months clean and he is the happiest he has been in a while, he is in a band with four of his bestfriends one of them being his boyfriend and he gets to make music that people love.

Harry thought he was broken. And maybe for a little bit he was. But the people around him picked up all the broken shards of glass and put them back together, it took a few tries but in the end, they managed to put it back together.

There is still cracks in the glass just like there is scars on Harry's skin, but cracks and scars just show that you fought a battle and survived. Harry survived. He was strong and fought through it with the help of the people who love him, and now he's better than before, he's finally free, free from the numbness he thought he needed, free from the mantra in his head saying he's not good enough. He now knows that's a lie. He is good enough.

The cracks in the glass, the scars on Harry's skin, they're not something that was once broken, not really. They are pages of a book that tell a story, their story.

A story that says 'I survived.'

~~~~~~~

I hope that was alright, I kind of didn't really know what to write and just went with it so I hope it's okay. :)

I STILL CANT BELEIVE HARRY IS 27. SHUT UP. HE IS GOING TO STAY 16.

I love you <33

Remember to eat something, have a drink and sleep if you haven't slept much.

Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today. Be thankful for the hard times, they can only make you stronger - Unknown

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a not and hang on - Franklin D. Roosevelt