TW: Suicide and Alcohol Abuse⚠️

"Sorry you've got the wrong number mate" a deep, sleepy voice spoke into the phone.

Louis hung up immediately, feeling so pathetic.

Brown Eyes just wasn't the one for him he supposed. He felt a little stupid for even thinking he'd go on an actual date with the guy. He hadn't even gotten his name -hence the name Brown Eyes.

This always happened and Louis was losing hope. He just wanted a genuine relationship and didn't know how or where to find one.

It was making him question if he was even worth loving.

His weekends, sometimes even weeknights, were spent at bars, drinking and trying desperately to find someone. He'd been alive 29 fucking years.

Yet, never had he been in love.

So here he was, sitting at an old cafe, swirling a small silver spoon around in his now cold, tea. His phone, filled with wrong numbers and unanswered calls, sitting on the table next to him.

"I miss you," he whispered. The cafe was mostly empty so he didn't get any stares. "But I've never even met you... if you exist. Is that even possible? To miss someone you only hope exists?"

He sighed. "I sound crazy, I just wonder if you're out there. My soulmate. My lover. I've been waiting, almost thirty years now" he stared down at his tea, trying to imagine having someone out there, someone perfect for him.

"I wonder what you're like... maybe a bookworm? Musician? I feel like that's what I'm drawn to... but never say never. Maybe you're a cage fighter. Who knows?" He smiled a little, "are you soft spoken or loud? Do you have a crazy family? Pets?"

He bit his bottom lip. "And your eyes... are they blue? Brown? Green?"

He had such a fascination with eyes, he wasn't always into philosophy, but the older he'd gotten, the more he'd opened his mind and he truly believed that eyes, were the window to the soul.

"Fuck, what am I saying? You can't exist.. I would've found you by now" he ran a hand down his face.

He always did this. Got his own hopes up, and for what? He never got what he was hoping for.

He was sick of it.

Sick of trying.

Sick of lying to himself.

Sick of being alone.

He left the cafe, hands shaking and mind racing. Maybe his soulmate really was out there.

Just not on earth.

"It's my last chance" he kept telling himself as he walked through the -oh so ironic- rain that was falling, slapping loudly against the pavement and making Louis' heart pound just a little harder.

He eventually reached his apartment, fumbling with the key a bit before finally getting inside the filthy place.

Quite frankly, the rain outside would make a better environment.

Empty beer cans littered the floor, sink full of dishes that were growing some sort of mold that Louis didn't dare touch, half full whiskey bottles were scattered across the counters, and the couch was missing a cushion, springs on full display.

The worst part though, was the pungent odor of cat piss. Louis tended to take stray cats in during storms to shelter them, and thus they used his flat as their litterbox. The floor was covered with the stains, but he couldn't be bothered to clean them up.

He didn't see a point.

He was the only one there anyway. He couldn't remember the last time his family had come to visit. They were all busy with their own lives and relationships.

They weren't the only ones to blame though, any time they reached out, Louis shut down any conversation. It was just painful.

"It's my last chance. It's my last chance." He started mumbling again, grabbing the only full bottle of whiskey he had left and sitting down on the couch.

Next to him he had a full bottle of his antidepressants. He turned the tv on to blur out the eerie silence in the room, opening the bottle of Jack Daniels and cringing at the smell.

"My last chance." He told himself, "Maybe you're somewhere in the stars. Maybe not." If not, well. At least he wouldn't be in this shitty apartment all alone anymore. Maybe he'd cease to exist, he honestly quite liked the thought of that- not as much as the possibility of finding a soulmate- but, it was a good second option.

With that, he pressed the glass bottle against his dry lips, letting the burning liquid rush down his throat. He honestly hated whiskey.

Should've picked a better last drink.

About a third of the way through the bottle his vision was blurred, ears ringing, and mind fuzzy. He went to reach for the pills, but his phone sitting next to them seemed really enticing.

He grabbed it, dialing the first number in his call history.

After all, he should at least tell someone goodbye right?

"Hello?" The same deep voice from earlier that morning answered.

"Hi... ummm" Louis' words were slow and slurred, making it clear he was intoxicated. "I jus'... needed to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? What do you mean? Who is this?" The man asked.

"Louis... it's Louis..." he mumbled.

"Louis? I don't think I know you.. maybe you misdialed..?"

"No no no... you're the last person I called" he hiccuped, taking another swig of his drink "I know I don't know you.... brown eyes gave me a fake number"

"Brown eyes? I'm sorry I don't know what you're talking about."

"Some guy I met at a club... no different than the others. No one wants me..." he started to cry into the phone "I just wanted to say goodbye to someone. I know you don't know me... but I have no one."

"Say goodbye? What do you mean?" The man's voice became more concerned "where are you?"

"I'm checking out... done... ya know?" Louis replied, "Time to say goodbye to this shitty life of mine."

"No no no, don't do that. What's your address?" The man responded, fully intending to get some police out there, and fast.

"Uhhh why?"

"I wanna say goodbye in person... ya know if that's alright" he lied.

"Fine fine..." he muttered, drunkenly. "1897 Cherrywood, apartment 3B."

The man went silent for a moment, processing what he'd just heard. 1897 Cherrywood....

He decided against calling the police and instead, hung up abruptly.

Louis heard the line click and not even a full minute later his door opened.

He looked up, "ohh is it you? Are you here to say goodbye?" He slurred.

"No, I'm here to say hello. I'm your new neighbor." The man at the door responded.

Their eyes locked and that was it. Louis just knew.

He'd found him.

And he had green eyes.