Coming Out
A one shot where Louis is scared to come out with Harry
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"I love you." I whisper. I grab Harry by the waist and kiss him softly. We had been dating for over two months, but nobody knew. Harry had been out of the closet for a while now, but I had just discovered this new part of me when my attraction for the boy started blossoming. Harry was okay with waiting, but I could tell my constant denial was pushing him.
"Hmm," Harry sighs against my lips, smiling as he pulled away slowly. His fingers drifted over the skin on my arm and the motion sent tingles up my body. I loved having this time with him when we could. It was hard to show affection like this considering we weren't out yet and my parents were accepting of me yet, thus making his room a safe haven.
"We have to get to school or we'll be late." Harry reminds me, pulling away completely and picking his bag up off the ground. He picks mine up for me and hands it to me. I sigh, not wanting to leave, but reluctantly take it anyway.
"I don't want to go. Can't we just stay here all day?" I ask, reaching for him. He shakes his head and heads towards the door. He smiles, letting a hand trail on my back as I exit his room. I could feel his presence behind me as we walked to his car parked in the front of his house. As usual I climbed into the driver's seat, letting him take the passenger.
Almost every day I drove us to school. I didn't mind it, driving around wasn't something I hated. Harry had a much better music taste than I did though, so it was kind of a good thing he wasn't driving. He played a song I didn't recognize and hummed along to it as we drove.
I sneak a glance at him from the corner of my eye. His nails were painted silver and his hair was pulled away from his face in a bun. He didn't wear his hair like that a lot, but I loved it when he did. He always complained that it put weird lumps in his hair. I grin to myself before looking back at the road and pulling into the school parking lot.
When we get out I have to hold myself back from trying to take his hand. Whenever we went out we were sure to go somewhere out of town so nobody from our school would see us. It was something that I silently thanked Harry for as I knew it must be getting tiresome for him to keep trying to suppress his affection.
Harry looks at me out of the corner of his eye as he holds the door open for me when we get to the entrance. I try to make it look as platonic as possible, but I knew we were getting weird looks. It wasn't ever day that two dude pals would hold the door open for their friend. There would be the casual 'push the door open and hope the grab it', but Harry was going out of his way to hold the door for me. Not exactly the most discreet thing to do.
When we get to the cafeteria I shoot him a look. He shrugs and continues playing on his phone. I could tell he was upset about something. I didn't want it to be about the door holding thing. I knew he was getting impatient with waiting for me to be ready, but I wasn't used to being with guys. I had never even considered it until Harry came into the picture. I didn't even know what my own sexuality was at this point.
To: Haz <3
Are you okay?
From: Haz <3
Idk.
To: Haz <3
You look upset. Do you want to talk about it?
From: Haz <3
You're literally sitting right next to me.
I glance at him and see him roll his eyes as he sets his phone on the table, physically telling me he was ending the techno conversation.
"Look I'm sorry if I upset you. I told you I'm not ready to come out yet!" I hiss, looking around to make sure no one heard. Harry turns to look at me, clearly upset. His green eyes, which usually showed kindness and affection now showed anger and frustration.
"I know. I've had to come out before too and I know it's tough, but denying it every time someone catches us isn't the way to go. If someone catches it own it. Do me a favor and grow a pair." Harry snaps back, a little too loudly for my liking. He goes to stand up to leave, but I grab his wrist. He looks down at me, his eyes warning me to back off, but I was going to stand my ground.
"I don't mean to deny it! I care about what people think of me!" I tell him. I could feel the eyes of the people around me turning to us. We were starting a scene. I silently beg him to sit down so the prying eyes of those around us would turn around, but he doesn't move.
"Yea well I do too and telling people that I'm coming on to you isn't really great for my image either is it? If you're so embarrassed to be around me, why don't we just be friends?" Harry asks, lowering his voice slightly so people didn't hear us.
There was a heaviness in the air that surrounded me. I felt like I was going to suffocate in it if I stayed there any longer. I wanted to move and do something, but my feet were almost glued to the floor beneath me.
"No. I...I don't want that." I whisper, feeling my voice starting to shatter. I didn't want to loose him. I had no idea what I would do if he was just gone. People told me that after a relationship everyone can just be friends again, but I knew that if Harry and I broke up I could never stand being with him and not wanting to kiss him or hold his hand and the thought terrified me.
I knew what I had to do and what he wanted me to do. I had no clue if I was ready for what my actions would bring, but I knew I had to do it. It was an action that came almost as naturally as breathing. I pulled him towards me and pressed our lips together.
In that moment everything was okay. I felt Harry relax beneath me and move his hand to my neck. It felt like we had been standing like that forever, in each other's arms and away from people's judgement which I knew would come next. I didn't want to leave this moment. I pulled away, not letting myself look at the room around me.
The room was silent. I didn't think I heard a single word come out of anyone's mouth. The tension intensified slightly with the sudden silence. Harry and I held each other's gaze for a long time, not wanting to break it in fear or breaking the silence. I would rather have silence than people screaming at me like my father had done or teasing as my mother.
Finally I looked down, breaking the silence around us as Harry and I slowly took our seats next to each other. It was like the whole room let out a breath as we sat. Nobody seemed sure what to make of what happened. The shock of everything set into me just as someone spoke.
"Fucking finally!" I find myself chuckling as I recognize the voice. She was one of my long time best friends and had caught on to it nearly before both of us realized what was happening. She, Jackie, was really someone that I found myself able to confide in.
I look around and nobody seemed to give a shit. They had gone back to their lives and I sigh. Maybe this wasn't going to be as terrible as I had predicted.
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Hey guys, so this is a new one shot idea that I had. Don't know if it's good, but we're going with it. This chapter is dedicated to my bestie septiplier4dayz. Shout out to my other bestie destielshipper21 who inspired Jackie in this. She the best. Anyway, I'm thinking of doing a Fem!Larry what would you think about that? Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! ~B
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