Langst Eleven - They Can't Fix Me
Ideas like this have been done before but I swear mine will not have a happy ending. Also, there may be some spoilers for season three in chapters from now on. Read at your own risk!
And yes, I binged it in less than a day. I wanted to binge it all at midnight, but I had to go to bed....
Lance was dreading this diplomatic mission.
Allura had told the paladins of the mind reading abilities belonging to the Muyzarans.
Lance didn't want his mind read. If the others knew some of his thoughts... Well, his depression had gotten better after finding Voltron (and later, Shiro), but it wasn't perfect. He still had panic attacks. He still cut every now and then.
He still said he was fine, when in fact, he was not.
So as much as he tried to cover it up, the other paladins could tell he was nervous when they went out to meet the prince.
"My name is Prince Cortov. I am honored to have the mighty paladins here today." He bowed down for a moment and then came back up. "I offer my services in return for your bravery. I can clean your minds, make you feel happier and calmer."
"We would be grateful if you could do this for us, Cortov." Allura smiled politely.
"Who wants to go first?" The prince asked. Pidge stepped forward tentatively. "Ah, green paladin!" The tall, humanoid alien set the palm of his hand on her forehead and she sighed contently. A relaxed smile eased its way onto her lips.
"That's like having a massage for your brain." Pidge sighed.
"Me next!" Hunk was practically jumping with joy. The prince set his palm on his forehead and he, too, seemed to be affected by some sort of magical clearance of his mind.
"You can go, Shiro." Keith said, though he was inching forward.
"No, it's okay." The tall Japanese man smiled as the new black paladin let his mind be cleared.
"Ah, yours will be a harder job. But not impossible." Cortov remarked as he placed his hand on Shiro's forehead. After several dreadful minutes, Shiro finally stepped back with a smile on his face.
"I remember everything... But it doesn't necessarily make me upset. Just glad that it's over. I might even know where Matt is."
"Really?!" Pidge literally jumped up and down.
"Now, for the blue paladin?" Cortov asked. Lance inches forward nervously, but confidently. He was sure that if this prince guy could fix Shiro, he could fix Lance.
But when he places his hand on the boy's forhead, he gasped and pulled it back.
"What's wrong?" Keith asked with a furrowed brow.
"Uh, n-nothing!" Lance forced a wide smile on his face. "Wow, I'm so relaxed now. Another job well done, Cortov."
"No, you... I'm sorry. Even I cannot fix you." The pink and green skinned prince looked at Lance pitifully.
"What do you mean, can't fix him?" Hunk asked, shooting a worried look at his long time friend. Lance avoided his gaze, taking a sudden interest in his blue and white boots.
"He is broken. He doesn't even believe he can be fixed. With deterioration like this, it is only a matter of time before..." The prince paused and looked at Lance for a long moment. "You may want to talk to him yourself. I'll be waiting inside the throne room when you're ready." The prince hastily ran back towards the castle.
"What was that about?" Hunk asked with folded arms.
"Lance, are you okay?" Keith asked softly, remembering the talk he and Lance had had when they found Shiro.
"So maybe the best thing I can do for the team is step aside." Did Lance really think he wasn't good enough?
"I'm fine, I just... I'm fine." He smiled, but it wasn't a real smile. It was devoid of joy, and the pain shone through his eyes like distress beacons, desperately calling for help.
Keith could help.
"Lance, do you... Do you want to go back to the castle with me?"
"But then they'd be missing you. You're the leader now, Keith. You need to be here."
"Not necessarily. Didn't Coran say that diplomacy is like, 80% looks or something?"
"I'm still working on that calculation." The orange-haired altean smiled.
"But the team-"
"Shiro led us fine for two seasons, okay? I'm sure everyone can cope without us for a few hours." Keith offered his hand to Lance.
"I... Okay." The Cuban boy smiled and allowed his hand to be taken in Keith's. They walked towards the castle, leaving everyone else to go to the throne room and meet Cortov.
"So, what's going on?" Keith asked when they got to his room. He hung his helmet on top of his jacket and sat next to Lance on the bed that was carved out of the wall.
"I... I don't want you to see me differently when I tell you this, okay? I want you to still be my teammate. I still want you to be my friend."
"Of course I will, Lance. I'll always be your friend. I know we haven't always gotten along, but," Keith smiled warmly, "we've improved since then."
"That's putting it lightly." Lance sighed. "Okay. So, I suffer from depression and ADHD. I have always struggled with being happy, and I started cutting a year before I was accepted into the Garrison." Lance gulped and leaned closer to Keith. "I tried to kill myself a year into the Garrison because I thought... Well, I always failed at everything. I wasn't good enough..."
Lance broke into tears. "I'm still not good enough, I don't want to crash red but I can't manage to control her, and I miss blue but even she gave up on me..."
"Lance, stop crying... Please, you're amazing. You're perfect, you're the sharpshooter and the 'cool ninja' of the team..."
"You guys said I was a goofball. Even if you weren't trying to be mean, it... It hurt."
"You may be a goofball, but you hold the team together. You're our glue." Keith held Lance's head in his lap and let him cry.
To be continued...
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