While in the Uber, Fenne fiddled with her bag strap. Her fingers worked tirelessly at tracing the metal before doing the same with the material weaved through the leather. It's buckle and stitching were the most intriguing things to focus on in the drive from Aggu's apartment to the party.

Travelling was fun and Fenne didn't want to seem ungrateful for the opportunities she's had. Germany wasn't that much different from The Netherlands besides the language and even then, most German words were similar to Dutch, anyway. The currency was the same and the people were polite. Fenne liked Germany and she liked Berlin.

But her demise was her own anxiety. After all the festivals and parties, Fenne still struggled to be socially outgoing with people she didn't know. She found herself slipping into the background where she was safe and no one would address her, forcing her to talk about herself or attempt to be interesting. It was the one thing about herself that Fenne wished was different.

She saw the way Joost easily talked and danced among strangers. He had joked that social anxiety was scared of him, not the other way around. He didn't care if people saw his underwear or if they looked his way with confused expressions. Joost was nonchalant and with his bright smile, it added so much to his charisma and presence that everyone loved to be around.

Fenne wanted to be like him and his friends. Apson, Stuntje, Daan, Nathan, they were all so lively and charming. Even Teun, who was the quieter one of the team, wasn't afraid to scream out car windows and throw things into crowds.

It's why Fenne kissed Joost and Aggu on the Friesenjung music video set. She wanted to be bold and it had done her wonders. But as the Uber pulled to a stop, Fenne had shrunk back into her usual reserved self for the entire ride.

'Oh my god, this is insane,' Hanna stated, taking in the sight of the house party.

'We're in Berlin, liebe. This is normal,' Aggu mentioned as he passed her. A bottle of beer was already in his hand despite only just setting foot out of the Uber.

Joost waited by the door until Fenne stepped out. He pushed the door closed and put an arm around her bare shoulders. In her new skirt and strapless top, Fenne was grateful for Joost's closeness. He wore a white button-up shirt with a tie and black, baggy jeans. The black glasses on his nose tied in the whole look, finishing with his blonde mullet that Fenne never thought she would find so attractive.

'Shit, this really is insane,' Fenne noted, seeing the large house pumping with music. 'Whose party is this, again?'

'Someone Aggu knows. Hey, Aggu!' Joost called to the man who was clinking his beer with Apson to cheers. 'Whose house is this?'

The man shrugged and Fenne wanted to laugh. The ski mask over his eyes hid any sign of emotion and it made the sight all the more ludicrous.

She looked up at the house and saw people through the windows. Lights flashed and the music thudded, echoing throughout the street. How the neighbours hadn't already called the police was beyond her.

Maybe they did things different in Berlin, she thought.

Making their way inside, Hanna looked over her shoulder as Apson held her hand in the lead. She exchanged a look with Fenne at the amount of people that lined every wall and occupied every room. There was barely any space to move, forcing the arrivals to form a single-file line.

Fenne was uncomfortable and not just from her usual anxiety. She brought up the rear as the last one out of the car. Her hand was firmly in Joost's who walked ahead with his tall frame and broud shoulders. But as Fenne caught stares from men lining the hallway, she wished that Joost had gone behind her.

If she could have sunk into Joost's back, she would have. The front door got further away as people retook their spots in front of it. The women that Fenne did see gave her dirty looks when she met her eye, making her burn holes into Joost's shoulders instead.

When they made it towards the back of the house, Fenne was relieved at the extra space. She wasted no time in moving to Joost's side and using her free hand to hold his bicep. She knew she looked like she was hanging off the man, but at the state of the party, Fenne didn't care.

The music still rattled the dark house but it was dulled enough for Fenne to hear the conversations around her. She didn't understand most of them and she found herself searching for words that were as close to Dutch as possible.

'Aggu! Number one in Germany! And you, Mr Joost Klein, what a fucking song!' a man stood from a sofa and congratulated the two. Aggu greeted him back with a similar German exclamation and Joost used one foot to step forward. Fenne had rooted his right side to the floor, but he didn't mind and sufficed with using his left hand to dap up the stranger.

'Bin ein Friesenjung, bin ein Friesenjung und, o-oh!' the man started singing and was joined by other people in the area.

Stuntje, Teun and Daan laughed with Joost and sung along to the newest hit. Apson nodded along and Hanna caught sight of some canned drinks that were sat on the table. She took two, glanced up to see if anyone was going to scold her, before turning to where Fenne was stood uncomfortably.

'Here,' she handed one to her. 'They're not open.'

'I don't think I want to drink tonight, Hanna.'

'Just have one. I know that you're freaking out, right now.'

'I'm not freaking out?'

Fenne pressed her lips together at the look her friend gave her. Hanna knew Fenne the longest out of anyone in the room and knew when Fenne was out of her comfort zone.

Hanna wasn't overly confident in the setting either. Their group earned a lot of stares with Aggu and Joost appearing to be the centre of attention. People stretched over shoulders to shake hands with the artists, not caring who they were bumping or whose ears they were yelling into.

Not only that, but it was the type of party where smoking was permitted inside. This came with the stench of cigarettes and more lingering in the air. It made the house stuffy and hot. Hanna was on edge, but on the following Monday, she was going to be back at work. So, for the sake of her weekend, she wanted to at least have fun with her best friend and boyfriend.

'What even is this?' Fenne asked as she took a sip from the can.

'I think it's like a martini?'

'It's nice.'

Hanna hummed in reply and Fenne found relief in seeing the team sticking together. Joost had squished into one of the few armchairs with Aggu. Apson sat on the armrest with a single hand on the small of Hanna's back. Stuntje, Teun and Daan slouched on a sofa with Aggu's friends, all with cans in their hands.

It wasn't long until Fenne and Hanna had shared the whole pack of martinis. They were able to find solitude in each other's company with the help of their friends' presence. Joost often twisted around to make sure Fenne was still close by, flashing her a smile when she met his eye.

'I need to go to the bathroom,' Hanna said, putting down her third finished can.

'I'll come with. Where is it?' Fenne asked and leaned forward to tap Aggu on the shoulder. 'Bathroom?'

The Dutch word was close enough for Aggu to understand and he stood up from his seat. He mumbled to Joost where he was going, earning a thumbs-up that was also meant for Fenne's eyes. Linking arms, Fenne and Hanna followed after Aggu, finally having some fun in the dingy place.

Along the way, people tried to start conversations with Aggu. It made the journey long and irritating. Fenne and Hanna would wait for him to finish up, before moving on for a few seconds until the next conversation started. Eventually, the masked man said that he would come back after showing the two girls where the bathroom was.

'There's a queue but it's at the end there,' he pointed to the last door at the end of the hallway. The line was mostly made up of women, so Fenne joined it with her friend as Aggu headed back downstairs.

'Someone's probably doing coke in there,' Hanna huffed.

'Surely there's another bathroom. This house is massive.'

Fenne's vocal ponder went unanswered as she took a sip of her can. She leant against the banister and pulled out her phone. The time on her screen showed that it was already late, but the music still blared and people occupied every space of the top floor.

Mindlessly scrolling, Fenne felt the burn of stares that she had been receiving all night. She didn't think them as any different and busied herself with deleting some photos from her camera roll. It was a good way to avoid looking up and suffering the discomfort of meeting eyes.

'Hey!'

Hanna's cry preempted the force that knocked against Fenne's hand. In the moment, Fenne coordinated her grip on her phone and drink. Thankfully, nothing left her hold, but her drink had sloshed around in its can at the impact.

Looking up, she was met with a stumbling man who was being held up by his friend. She noticed Hanna's offended look and theorised that they had stumbled into her before knocking against Fenne's hand.

A half-assed German apology came before the two disappeared down the stairs. Fenne watched them go while moving up in the queue.

'Dickheads,' Hanna muttered. 'I really hope we're not staying for much longer.'

'Don't bet on it. I haven't seen Joost have a smoke yet, so there's still a whole pack to go through.'

Fenne had finished her drink before they made it to the bathroom. They went in together and were out in record timing. With their arms linked once more, they made their way through the top floor and got to the stairs. Hanna went first, taking each step slowly as people lined the right side. But as she got to the middle, she felt a tug on her arm where Fenne's was linked.

'Hanna, I don't feel good...'

Unlike the last time Fenne had gotten drunk, Fenne could barely gather her thoughts. She hadn't had anywhere near the amount of alcohol that it took for her to feel like she did last time. And yet, Fenne wasn't sure if she was going to make it to the bottom of the staircase.

'You look awful. Jesus, you've barely had anything,' Hanna said, turning on the step to analyse Fenne's pale complexion.

Her mouth was dry and her head was spinning. She gripped the staircase with sweat lining her palm. There was a panic in her chest that was dulled by an intense fatigue. If she didn't lie down in the next few minutes, Fenne was convinced she was going to collapse on the stairs.

'Can you... can you go find Joost? I want to leave,' she let out weakly.

Hanna swept the bottom floor for a sign of Aggu, but couldn't spot his distinctive ski mask. She let out a curse before turning to pull Fenne back up the stairs. She wasn't forceful but was firm as her friend stumbled.

With Fenne's wrist in her hold, Hanna tried turning a doorknob. It didn't budge, so she went to the next, continuing down the hall.

Eventually, the knob turned all the way and Hanna pushed the door open. A spare room with a plain bed and a cleared drawer top told her that it was unoccupied.

'Stay here. I'll come find you. Don't let anyone in unless it's one of us, okay?' Hanna instructed, lowering Fenne onto the edge of the bed.

At the sight of Fenne's hanging head and hearing her unintelligible mumble, Hanna was riddled with worry. As a nurse, she knew what having too much alcohol looked like and Fenne was beyond that. She wondered what had been in those cans and why they had affected Fenne so much.

Making sure Fenne's phone was by her side, Hanna headed out the room and made sure to close the door behind her. She spotted the queue to the bathroom and tapped the shoulder of the first girl she saw.

'My friend is passed out in there. Can you make sure no one goes in? Thanks.'

Running down the stairs, Hanna didn't wait for a reply. The girl at the end of the queue turned to her friend in confusion.

'What did she say?' She asked in German.

'I don't know. I don't speak Dutch.'