Teun drove Fenne and Hanna from Zwoelle to Joost's house. His forest green pigeot waited at the station and Fenne sat in the passenger seat, while Hanna threw herself in the back. The man was able to give a friendly greeting before he pulled the car out of its spot to head for Leeuwarden.

While on the motorway, Fenne looked over at Teun while knawing at her lip. She had spent the past forty-five minutes tearing her brain apart for any mention of today's date. She convinced herself that Joost had said the 8th of April at some point, but she had been too skittish to remember.

'How's he doing?' Fenne asked, cringing at the cliche question.

'He came down to grab something to eat before I left but he didn't say much.'

'Is that unusual?' Hanna's head appeared in between them from the backseat.

'Well, not really...' Teun shrugged before sighing. 'Look, we're just a little worried about him. Stunts, Appie and I went over to play FIFA, and Joost never came down. We thought he would want to do something that we normally did since he always insists it just another one day to him. But today, Joost just... seemed off.'

'I feel awful. We've been out looking at places all morning and I haven't checked my phone all day.'

Taking his eyes off the road, Teun couldn't see Fenne's face while it was buried in her palms. He exchanged a grimace with Hanna who then retreated into the backseat. They weren't far from Joost's house but Teun was doubting if he had made the right decision.

He didn't want to cause Fenne to panic. He called her after a short conversation with Stuntje and Apson, who both agreed that Joost was acting different. Of course, the trio of men weren't sure how to address the possibility that their friend could be having a bad day. So, Stuntje suggested bringing the one person they knew Joost would be ecstatic to see regardless of what day it was.

But when Teun heard Fenne's panic through the phone, he had suspicions that he and the guys had blown the situation out of proportion.

Fenne sat with her phone in her lap and her forehead lined with wrinkles. She was expecting to walk into the house and see it ravaged by an inconsolable Joost. However, Apson and Stuntje were going to try and get Joost playing some FIFA to cheer him up before Teun surprised him with his girlfriend.

If anything, Joost probably needed some alone time. Teun knew it must be difficult to spend a decade without both parents, and here he was, driving more people to Joost's house on the anniversary of his parents' passing.

'Hey, don't feel bad. It will be a nice surprise for him to see you... I hope...'

Fenne peered out from her palms and held back the urge to question Teun's sudden uncertainty. If she wasn't so anxious, Fenne would have asked more about what usually happened on April the 8th. Ten years was certainly a tragic milestone, but when Teun mentioned playing FIFA to cheer Joost up, Fenne couldn't help but doubt the severity of the situation.

They pulled in to the driveway that was filled with three other parked cars. Fenne forced herself to take it slow and waited for Teun open the front door. She heard Hanna trailing behind her, delighted to see Apson's car being one of the many in the driveway.

The sound of a football crowd confirmed Teun's explanation of playing FIFA. Fenne stepped into the living room and saw Stuntje and Apson in the midst of a game. They only noticed her arrival when Teun put his keys on the console table, making them pause and turn to the hallway.

'Hanna! I didn't know you were coming,' Apson put his controller down and got up from the sofa. It took mere seconds for him to make it across the living room and peck Hanna's lips.

'I'm sorry, did I interupt some crucial football training?' Hanna said sarcastically but wrapped her arms around his middle.

'Never, lieverd.'

Stuntje resisted the urge to smack Apson up the side of the head for being so romantic. Instead, he avoided the two and stopped in front of Teun and Fenne. Immediately, he noticed Fenne's attention being drawn to the staircase.

'We asked him if he wanted to come play a round but didn't get an answer. I think he's got his earphones in.'

'Is the door locked?' Fenne asked and Stuntje shook his head.

'No, but we thought it would be better if you checked on him instead. Just in case he's not in the mood.'

Fenne knew what was going on. They knew that if Joost was going to need comfort, then it had to be from herself. As his friends, they could only do so much when it came to such a sensitive time. Fenne had that caring touch that they all lacked and she never failed to understand people's troubles. She was gentle and if the day's date was hurting him like they thought, then it was only right to send Fenne where Stuntje, Apson and Teun were at a loss.

Climbing the stairs, the sounds of the bottom floor faded to quiet. Hanna sat with Apson and watched the men play FIFA, while Fenne turned towards Joost's bedroom. She stopped in front of the closed door and put her ear to the wood. There was no music playing or any shuffling from the inside.

'Joost?' she knocked with her knuckle twice. 'Can I come in?'

No answer.

Turning the door knob, Fenne inched the door open and peaked through the crack. The curtains were shut, dulling the room to a transparent darkness. She could still see the general mess that Joost's room was always in and dared to push the door further to step inside.

'Joost?' she called in a soft voice. The bed's covers were disturbed and when Fenne's eyes adjusted, she saw why.

Joost faced the window with the covers over his shoulders. His blonde hair peaked out from the top of his pillow and Fenne shut the door behind her. The path towards his bed was relatively clear, so Fenne made it to the frame and reached out to the bundled lump.

As her hand laid on the duvet, she heard muffled music. Her suspicions were confirmed when her touch made Joost jump and rollover to reveal the white earphones in his ears.

Fenne noticed the tired haze on his surprised face. When Joost sat up and pulled out his earphones, she caught sight of his black baggy t-shirt. He turned the music off on his phone before looking up at the girl in his room.

'Fenne,' he mumbled, blinking through his apparent drowsiness. 'When did you get here?'

'Teun picked Hanna and I up from the station. We've only just arrived.'

She left the part about Teun's phone call out for the time being, as well as what station they had been at. Judging by Joost's state, in bed and surprised by her arrival, Fenne assumed that Joost had been trying to take a nap.

Lowering herself to the mattress, Fenne was careful with her words.

'Tired?' she asked while looking over her shoulder at the man.

'Yeah. I didn't sleep well last night.'

He used the ball of his palm to rub at his eye to prove his statement. With his hair messy and skin pale, Joost looked like he had a rough morning. He sat back against the headboard and fiddled with his earphones' wire. It brought Fenne's attention to his hands, their fidgeting not unusual, but an indication of what he wasn't telling her. She didn't want to push, but at the same time, they couldn't sit silent forever.

'Are you okay?'

Joost stared at her for a moment before his head nodded stifly.

'It's just weird that it's been a decade. I didn't think today would be any different. But last night... it was hard to think about.'

Fenne's heart ached. Joost struggled to keep her eye as he spoke and his voice held a hesitancy to mention the subject. He danced around it but Fenne didn't need him to explicitly say what had made the night so hard to sleep through.

She bent down to pull her shoes off and left them to join the other sneakers that littered the floor. Pulling the edge of the duvet out from under her, Fenne shuffled back to join Joost against the headboard. Her feet didn't reach the same length as Joost's but her shoulder met his. Their closeness let Fenne see the darkness under his eyes, which further intensified the pain in her chest.

'You can go back to sleep, if you want,' she suggested, resting the side of her head against the headboard to look at her boyfriend. 'We don't have to talk about it.'

Joost shrunk back down under the covers. Wordlessly, he laid his head on Fenne's stomach, putting his body on top of her left leg. One arm stayed by his side while the other rested on her thigh. Fenne didn't know how comfortable it was since Joost was so tall, he had to curl up to keep his feet from hanging over the bed's end. But when he didn't move or adjust his position, Joost seemed content.

Naturally, Fenne's fingers found their way into Joost's hair. He had decided to grow the back out from it's close shave while the front still hung over his forehead when limp. Joost had said he didn't know what he wanted to do with it yet, so it was in an odd blonde mass. But it was soft and fluffy in Fenne's hands, so she silked the strands around her digits and occassionally scratched at his scalp.

'I was going to go to the cemetery today,' Joost said. 'But I don't think I want to, now.'

'You can go this evening? I can come with you, if you want...'

'That would be nice.'

'And what about your brother and sister? Do you usually see them around this time?'

'Nanda texted me to go to her's for dinner, but...'

The mention of Joost's sister piqued Fenne's interest but she didn't ask him to ellaborate. He had spoken about his older siblings a handful of times and even said he wanted Fenne to meet them at some point. It was the only family he had that weren't judgemental towards his career choice.

From the amount of references to his brother's birth year, Fenne understood that Joost looked up to his brother. Hugo was a role model to him, and Nanda, although she had started her own family, still made time to see her youngest brother.

While in a short silence, Fenne decided she would wait until the evening to see how Joost felt. After a needed sleep, maybe he would be willing to text his sister back and go to the cemetery. No one wanted to see people when they were sad, but for Joost, maybe it would be good to be with someone who understood him completely. Maybe Hugo would be there, too.

'You talked to me when I came back, you know?' Joost's mumble was barely audible amongst his bliss. The feeling of Fenne's fingers in his hair was lulling him to sleep.

'Hm?'

'When I came back to school after Mum passed. You talked to me in the office.'

Fenne was thrown back into a memory that she had forgotten. Joost, Stuntje and Apson often brought up moments from their teenage years that she didn't know she remembered. Both her and Hanna would gasp at the mention of a teacher or rumour that they once gossiped about. Rekindling with the boys from highschool had brought a nostalgia to the girls, and with Joost's head on her belly, Fenne remembered a crucial moment from their past.