The car ride was much less tense than Fenne thought it would be. After his cigarette and crumble, Joost was sleepy-eyed, but could drive through the night just fine. Fenne sat leaned back in the passenger seat as she watched the houses and streetlights pass by.

Autumn was seeping in through summer's cracks. The afternoons were warm, but the early mornings and evenings had a cold breeze. The car stopped the outside chill, but Fenne told herself that she would start bringing a jumper or jacket out with her at night. Instinctively, she looked to the back seat, wondering if Joost had brought a hoodie on a random hunch.

Her stretch over the centre console caught Joost's attention. He glanced in the rearview mirror before looking over his shoulder.

'Are you cold?' he asked, taking one hand off the wheel to see if he could feel for something.

'Not cold. Exposed, more like,' Fenne said and fell back in her seat. Joost glanced down to see a black jumper of his in her lap, her arms through the sleeves but the body and hood staying in a pile.

'What did you and Dad talk about?'

The question that had been on her mind since leaving her parents' house finally forced its way out. Joost and her father came back in from their smoke without the awkward air between them. The last conversations of the night were Anna nagging Fenne to call more and Fabian telling Joost to catch up on the current football championship.

Half an hour after dessert, Fenne and Joost took their leave. They waved goodbye until her parents went back in the house and Joost drove them back to Leeuwarden.

'He told me about his work and how he took up smoking to deal with the stress,' Joost said.

'I was wondering about that. I've never seen him smoke once in my life,' Fenne pondered.

'He asked me if I had a lighter, so that made me give up my oath of the night. Thank god, though. By that point, I was ready to light myself on fire instead.

He asked about you, too.'

Fenne contemplated asking him to elaborate or if she wanted to save any further degradation to her career choices.

'About what?'

'If you're okay. I expected the cliche 'if you ever hurt her' warning, which he didn't let up on for a while,' Joost laughed at the memory.

'Christ-'

'No, I get it. You're his only daughter,' Joost shrugged. 'But he's worried about you. Says the economy isn't nice to the creative arts and you're stubborn when it comes to accepting help. And he's right.'

Rolling her eyes was all Fenne could do. She wasn't sure if Joost was agreeing with her dad's economy talk or her stubbornness. But besides that, it was nice to hear that her father and Joost had a civil conversation.

The car rocked as they pulled into Joost's driveway. Without Nathan's car, which had been in front of the house for the past few months, they were able to park without needing to perform a great manoveur.

Nathan had stayed in Belgium after Pukkelpop, but made it out that he would be in The Netherlands again soon. Fenne was surprised at the hug she received before they left despite not talking with the man that often. His good nature and genuinity was an admirable feature, unconsciously pulling Fenne over her reserved barrier. Nathan's gummy smile left a good impression once she got over his loud personality.

Unravelling from the night, Joost and Fenne headed into the house. The man's hoodie stayed over Fenne's arms until she got to his bedroom, where her overnight bag sat on the floor. Clothes and shoes were sprawled across the room and she made her way through it to find a shirt and shorts to sleep in.

'I'm glad it ended how it did,' Fenne stood up straight and turned to Joost. 'I thought your dad was going to throw me out during dinner.'

'He's untrusting and old-fashioned, always has been. Mum's the same. And I'm sorry they mentioned... you know...'

Fenne busied herself with unfolding her shirt and shorts. On the corner of Joost's bed, the brunette glanced up at Joost as he pulled off his shirt and threw it onto the floor. It would stay there until he saw fit, something that secretly irked Fenne.

'It was going to get mentioned at some point. People never know what to say when I tell them, but it's a part of me, so I can't just ignore it, you know?' Joost shrugged, surprisingly comfortable with the subject. 'I just don't like when people treat me different when they find out. I lost my parents, it's been nearly ten years and I've come out okay after it. There's not much else to it.'

He headed for the ensuite while talking and Fenne watched him from his bed. It was more than she had heard about Joost's parents since they started seeing each other. With such a sensitive subject came the stigma of it being taboo, but with the way Joost was putting toothpaste on his toothbrush, the stigma was becoming transparent.

'Ten years. Has it really been that long?' Fenne said to herself. Joost looked up from the sink and saw Fenne's reflection behind him. He wondered what she was thinking.

Meeting her parents made the dynamic Fenne had with their expectations clear. To Joost, everything that he had come to know about Fenne made sense. Her drive to do what she wanted to do and her reserved nature all stemmed from her successful parents. It made Joost like her even more, but highlighted their differences.

Fenne had the cushion of her parents her whole life but it didn't make her vain. Joost lost his support very young and struggled throughout highschool because of it. He liked to think he turned out humble despite the effect it had on him. But even now, as she stepped out of sight to get undressed, it felt like Fenne was untouchable.

As Joost brushed his teeth, the memories of highschool flooded back. He was stood in the hallway with Stuntje and Apson as Fenne walked by with her friends. She hung towards the back with her textbook in hand and laughed at something Hanna said from the front. Joost couldn't help but watch as she passed, wondering what she did to make her hair so shiny and how her teeth were so straight.

Joost's hair was swept to the side and his voice was in the midst of muturing. With his luck, if he ever scored a conversation with Fenne Meer, a squeak would interrupt his words and his face would turn bright red. Someone like Fenne would never give him the time of day.

But she turned and smiled, thinking that Joost was looking her way out of coincidence. His heart stopped in his chest and he managed a smile. Fenne looked back to one of her friends and she turned into a classroom, leaving Joost's day bright and on his list of the best he'd ever had.

It was nothing to Fenne, a smile that she gave everyone. But to Joost, he felt like the impossible had just happened. She was on one side of the world and he was on the other. To this day, that feeling never went away. Joost looked at Fenne like she was behind a screen and with a glowing aura around her. She was too good, too beautiful, too kind.

What would someone like her want with a boy who dropped out of highschool? With someone who had emotional trauma that he was coping with by producing music and dancing around on stage? Someone who smoked and drank like a sailor?

'Joost? You okay?'

Blinking in the mirror, Joost looked down to see Fenne right beside him. Her neck was craned to look up at him with her eyebrows drawn together in concern. Her hand was on his bicep and her eyes flickered to the toothbrush that had been idle in his mouth for a full minute.

'Uh, sorry,' he tried to say through the toothpaste. He spat into the sink and rinsed his toothbrush, glancing to the lingering Fenne beside him.

'I was just thinking.'

'Was it about tonight? About what Mum said? I'm sorry, I should have stepped in-'

'No, no, liefje, it's not. I've lived with it for long enough and she was nice about it. Your dad was, too.'

Joost put his hands on Fenne's arms and leaned down to her level. He wanted to make sure that she knew he wasn't bothered, as he could see her beginning to spiral into a deep regret. With his forehead bumping against hers, Joost put on a smile and caressed his thumbs against her skin. Fenne's t-shirt showed a faded Green Day album cover and her shorts were a blue cotton. She looked cute and it helped faze Joost's perspective of Fenne being inhumanly ethereal.

'Are you sure? You would tell me if it bothered you, right?' Fenne asked and shifted her weight from foot to foot. 'I don't want you to feel like you can't talk about it. Even if you don't want to talk about all of it, I-I want to hear. I want you to want me to hear about it... If you want...'

Joost's heart melted at the way Fenne's features contorted. Her words were tumbling out without her brain's filter. She realised the complexity of what she said and sighed, deciding to just wrap her arms around Joost's middle instead. Joost pulled Fenne into his chest and locked his arms around her shoulders.

'I'm not bothered. Don't you ever worry about me,' he mumbled with a smile Fenne couldn't see. Pressing a kiss to her head, Joost rocked them from side to side, something Fenne noticed he liked to do a lot.

'I worry a lot. I can't help it and you're no exception.'

Fenne's cheek was against his bare chest and she looked in the mirror at their reflection. Joost was tall enough to almost look over the top of her. But instead, he turned his face into her hair and curled around her. Fenne liked seeing them together, making her squeeze his middle tighter.

She prayed that Joost was telling the truth and despite his statement, Fenne would never not worry about him. It was engraved in her DNA to worry about the people around her, but she would do her best to not make it obvious if Joost didn't like to be fretted over.

'What were you thinking about, then?' Fenne asked, pulling her cheek from his chest to look up to him. Joost leaned his head back to meet her eye and he glanced down to her lips, before exhaling a chuckle from his nose.

'I'll tell you at some point. I want to get in bed.'

Fenne could deal with that. They untangled from each other and she brushed her teeth. Joost got under his duvet and Fenne turned the bathroom light off. She waded through the floor of clothes and shoes until she made it to the mattress. There, Joost waited against his pillows while trying to appear like he wasn't dying to sleep with Fenne in his arms.

The lamp turned off and the rustle of the duvet told Joost that Fenne was next to him. He slipped one arm underneath her waist and bent his elbow to pull her back towards him. The familiar smell of Fenne's shampoo overtook his nose and Joost felt his drowsiness kick in. Fenne was so warm and he couldn't help but curl around her with his other arm slipping under hers and locking against her front.

Joost fell asleep within minutes and Fenne wasn't long after.