With an iced latte in hand, Fenne's fist ruptured against the front door. She waited on the porch for a few seconds while adjusting her camera bag on her shoulder.

The bulky accessory was awkward to carry and Fenne didn't know why Joost had asked her to bring it along. She had to bring it to work that morning just so she could head to his house after her shift. The train ride was also troublesome, since The Netherlands' summer had brought its usual tourism and made public transport rammed with people.

'Hey, Fenne!' the door opened to reveal a chirpy Joost. With his earphones in his ears, the man stood in a green hoodie with the hood over his messy hair. The front that he appeared to be letting grow long curled from underneath and with a display of his teeth, Joost stepped aside to let Fenne enter.

'I brought you this,' she said. Once she was in the hallway, Fenne turned and held out the iced drink as Joost closed the door. His face lit up at the sight and he took it gratefully.

'Thanks! Does it have caramel? Did you get yourself something?' he asked while wrapping one arm around Fenne's waist in a hug. Fenne stood on her toes to lock her wrists behind Joost's neck and rested her chin on his shoulder.

'Yeah, I made it myself, and I've had enough of our drinks for a lifetime.'

Lowering to the flats of her feet, Fenne took in Joost as he brought the straw to his lips. She felt his freehand remain on her side and tried to seem like it wasn't sending her insides into a frenzy. He was oblivious to the effect his touch had as the coffee emptied from the straw. She took the time to adjust the camera bag on her shoulder, making Joost look down and remember why he had invited Fenne over in the first place.

'You brought your stuff?'

'I did. Are you going to tell me what its for?'

'Perhaps.'

Joost headed past Fenne to walk the hallway's length. She followed while taking in the minimal decorations.

The console table was littered with a pair of keys, a lighter and a baseball cap. She watched to see if Joost was going to turn into the living room, but was surprised to see him start climbing the stairs. He had to be heading towards his bedroom and Fenne mustered all her courage to follow his lead.

Fenne hadn't been in Joost's house since Shelter's afterparty. Her and Hanna had stayed the night and woke up to the mess left behind. Cans and bottles covered the living room floor, where Stuntje had been kind enough to set up some bedding for them. Fenne half-expected Hanna to leave with Apson or sleep in the spare room that he had passed out in, but her friend joined her on the blow-up mattress.

They had left the next morning before Joost emerged from his bedroom. Fenne knew that he would have a sore head after the night of drinking and, instead, texted him when she and Hanna got home. Just like she thought, he texted saying he felt like he couldn't move without being sick, so Fenne was glad they had gone home when they did.

Since that night, Fenne and Joost had continued to see each other. He often came into her workplace and they would go out after her shift. They texted every day and took every opportunity to see each other throughout the week.

On weekends, Joost would perform at a venue and Fenne would watch from backstage. Hanna sometimes came alone, but it was mostly to see Apson. The two were getting to know each other and Fenne noticed how close they would stand while she watched Joost on stage. Apson would lower his ear when Hanna spoke and she would fight a giddy smile as she recollected something from their highschool days.

Fenne hesitated by the doorway like she had done at the afterparty. With the room lit from the open window, she was able to see the state of Joost's bedroom for the first time. It looked like it had been hastily cleaned before her arrival, but it was still done in a Joost Klein fashion.

Clothes were thrown onto a gaming chair that sat in front of a desk. Two monitors played a screensaver of neon blue and vibrant purple swirls. Joost's bed was made, but in a scruffy manner with squished pillows and a wrinkled duvet. The bedside tables were covered with things like an unravelled pair of earphones, a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, sunglasses, and other things that Fenne often saw in Joost's pockets.

'You can come in, you know?'

Fenne tore her eyes from the bedside table and saw Joost sat on his queen-sized bed. He sipped at his drink with his eyes peering from beneath his ruffled hair.

'It's only because Nathan's coming home soon and I know you're not completeIy familiar with him yet. It's not like you haven't been in here already,' Joost said, gesturing to the room around with a casual look.

So he did remember, Fenne thought.

Fenne hadn't forgotten what Joost had said before he passed out at the afterparty. The next time they saw each other was after class and Joost waited outside. Leaning against the wall, Joost stood out in his black hoodie with a white and red hat on his head. Fenne spotted him in a second and was nervous for how he would act after his drunken admission.

'I thought we could go get lunch. I'll pay,' he had said, wearing a hopeful expression. He acted as he always did with no mention of their late-night talk.

Fenne was disappointed and her chest sat with the weight of what she knew. If Joost didn't remember, then maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was just Joost's intoxication talking.

To appear unbothered, Fenne had held her head high as Joost took her hand. They walked through the city to a place Joost suggested. He didn't once let it be known that he rejected or stood by what he had said, or that he had said it at all. Fenne decided to swallow the awkwardness and act like nothing had happened. It made it easier to enjoy their hand-holding and their casual time together.

Pulling her bag off her shoulder, Fenne stepped into the room with slow steps. She was aware of Joost's stare as she lowered into the space beside him. She put her camera bag on the carpet and looked up, catching Joost with his blue eyes focused on her.

You're beautiful. You were the most beautiful girl in school.

The words echoed in her head in Joost's voice. Was he thinking about the moment as he looked at her now? Was he hoping that she didn't remember?

'So... what do you need my camera for?' Fenne said as she wiped her hands against her jeans.

Lifting his feet from the edge of the bed, Joost swivelled around to face Fenne with his legs crossed.

'Lowlands is next week and I'm organising everything that needs to go to Biddinghuizen. I was thinking, since I've got you backstage already, you could film some stuff,' he used his hands as he talked. The iced coffee sloshed up the sides of the cup with his movements.

'What would it be for? For the big screen or for your Instagram?'

'Both! I could put your name to the organisers and you could be the camera operator throughout the set.'

The idea sounded intriguing. Her degree had trained Fenne to work a camera for film and for other forms of entertainment. Angles, compositions and the tech of working a camera was all part of her skills, but her only experience had been in a university setting.

Filming at Lowlands would be a great opportunity for Fenne to put on her resume, and the thought of being on stage while Joost performed was another perk. She could enjoy his music and performance while capturing footage for the crowd to see.

'Joost, that would be amazing experience for me. Thank you...' Fenne said, aghast. 'You really trust me to do that? This is your first big show and you want me to be on stage?'

'I wouldn't want anybody else. I trust you more than anybody to get good footage,' he grinned. 'And besides, I'd be able to see you throughout the set.'

'You're not going to sing to me, are you?'

'I don't think any of my songs would be suitable to sing to you. Ome Robert, maybe, but-'

'I bought you that coffee and you're already telling me to suck your dick?'

Fenne's uncharacteristic interuption made Joost's eyes turn to dinner plates and his jaw drop. The smile lingered on his lips and a nervous laughter made its way through his shock.

She surprised herself, but the tinge of redness on Joost's cheeks made it all worth it.

Fenne's vocabulary had changed while seeing Joost and his friends. It was becoming easier to say crude things without cringing.

Joost never let Stuntje or Apson tease Fenne in the way they teased each other. He would tell them to 'fuck off', ending any attempt to rope Fenne into some vulgar discussion. But spending time with the group had climatised her to the talk and she was beginning to slip into the habit of swearing and deadpanning to Joost.

'I mean... was it €3?'

'And the rest!'

'Then you've over done it, liefje.'

Fenne covered her eyes with her hand as she fitted with giggles. Joost still made her laugh unlike anyone ever had before. Her stomach twisted and ached while in his presence and his own laughter created a joy within Fenne that she never knew. He would sometimes struggle to catch his breath and would hiccup in a high-pitch. This was music to Fenne's ears; almost as much as the nicknames he had started using were.

Liefje, mijn liefje, lief ding and schatje were among the names Joost had started using. He had casually slipped one in when ending a call one day. It left Fenne listening to the repeating beep with her phone stuck to her ear. She was fortunate enough that Hanna had been at her nursing placement that day, so she wasn't home to catch Fenne in her vegetative state.

'What are you two giggling about?' Nathan appeared in the doorway, making Fenne and Joost look away from each other with red faces. The curly haired man was in a t-shirt and cargo shorts and peered at the two with a knowing look.

'Fenne's going to film the set at Lowlands,' Joost informed and Nathan nodded with lips pursed, impressed.

'How much are you paying?'

'Oh, you don't have to pay me,' Fenne rushed, looking back to Joost with raised eyebrows. 'This is for my experience as well as convenience for you. I don't want any money.'

'But you're going to be using film storage and your time. I'll give you some of what I'll get from the show.'

Joost sounded like he wasn't going to budge no matter what Fenne said. She sighed and let it go, already thinking of how she was going to avoid payment when the time came. There was no charge for her ticket since she was being classed as staff and transport to Biddinghuizen was already sorted by Stuntje.

Fenne was experiencing Lowlands for free and spending time with Joost; that was more than enough for her.

'Is your friend coming?' Nathan asked from the doorway.

'No, Hanna's doing her placement at OLVG that day. She wanted to come, though.'

'Appie will be gutted,' he shook his head with a sigh, before perking up at a thought. 'Oh, Joost, can you move your car? I won't be heading out tomorrow so I'll go behind you.'

'Sure. Fenne, did you want to get your camera out and I can have a look at your setup?'

'Okay.'

Putting his drink on the beside table, Joost got up from the mattress. He flashed Fenne a grin while heading out and Nathan followed after him with his keys in hand. She listened to their collection of footsteps hit the stairs and pulled her camera bag up from the carpet.

While rummaging around, she caught sight of the iced coffee that Joost had put down. Besides all the things he usually had in his pockets, the square table had the picture frame that Fenne had glazed over when she first walked in. The condensating drink sat aside just enough for her to peer at the frame and a realisation hit her.

A platinum blonde boy stood in front of his mother and father. With short red hair, the woman smiled at the camera as the man wore sunglasses and leaned his weight onto his right foot. It appeared to be taken in front of a castle or manor with other sightseers in the background.

The boy had to have been six or seven and looked off camera, distracted by something the frame couldn't capture. It was blurry, obviously taken when cameras weren't at their best. But it didn't take much for Fenne to know that it was a young Joost stood with his parents on holiday.

They were yet to talk intimately about their parents but Fenne wasn't a fool. She knew what had happened to Joost when he was barely a teenager. At school, she saw the way he lost his cheeky smile for a month the first time, and then for much longer the second time.

Now that Fenne was seeing Joost every week, it amazed her to see how successful he had become despite his intense loss. Not everyone had the strength and independence to carry on after experiencing something so tragic while so young. Fenne admired Joost in almost every way, and with Lowlands only next week, there was still so much more to come for him.

She just hoped that what she knew about filming and cameras was enough to make his performance memorable.