'Joost, what happened? You were fine when I last saw you,' Fenne steadied the man.

'I am fine! Where-Where have-' he hiccuped '-you been? I was going to um... come find you, but I can't-I can't see straight right now.'

Joost leaned down when he talked thinking that Fenne couldn't hear him. But his volume wasn't the issue, it was his intense slurring and mumbling. He could barely speak without losing his train of thought and he reeked of cigarettes and beer.

Nathan, who was equally as hammered, called his name multiple times, only to say something in German that Fenne didn't understand. Joost would laugh almost breathlessly with the pitch of a hyena, before turning back to Fenne as if she had said something. His blonde eyebrows would be raised and his blue eyes would be filled with anticipation despite their heavy eyelids and hazed state.

'I think you've had enough tonight,' Fenne said slowly. 'Hanna and I are going to head home-'

'No, don't go,' he whined and hung his arms by his side in a sulk. 'I've barely seen you tonight, Fenne. Stay out here with me.'

Fenne huffed, sending the hair that hung in her face flying upwards. The night had been long and she wanted to go home to her bed. They were in Leeuwarden, which was a long Uber or train ride to Amsterdam. If her and Hanna left any later than soon, they wouldn't be getting to their apartment until the morning. Fenne hadn't planned to stay out that long and she hated when plans took unexpected turns. It was bad enough that they were late to Shelter, which Teun said made Joost nearly cancel the show.

She felt awful. Shelter was an amazing opportunity and because of her and Hanna's tardiness, Joost nearly missed it. And while they stood in the garden, his friends shouting without a care, Joost looked down at her pleadingly. His hair was sticking up from how many times he or his friends had messed with it. He stood close to her with the fear that she would turn and leave unexpectedly. His pouty lips parted and closed, leaving Fenne to wonder what he was thinking.

'Please?' he mumbled, his eyelashes dropping with his gaze for a moment, and Fenne swore that he looked at her lips. Fenne wondered if Joost was even asking her to stay at this point and not asking for something else.

With a sigh, Fenne gave in.

'Fine. I'll stay.'

'Great!'

'But I think you should send some people home. It's a mess in there,' she threw her hand in the direction of the house. Joost barely looked to where someone walked out with his black ushanka on their head

'I'll call the police. That'll-' another hiccup '-get everyone out!'

'Call the police on your own party?!'

Joost was already pulling his phone out his pocket and squinting as its screen lit up his face. Fenne watched as his neck hung over the device with his hand holding it incredibly close to his nose. He staggered from a sway that took him too far to the left and she held a hand out to steady him. She touched the clingwrap that was still wrapped around his bicep, covering the 'KP' logo that was tattooed in red.

'Fenne, I can't see...' Joost slurred and looked up to her while holding his phone out. 'Can you call the police, please?'

Fenne wanted to laugh at the situation she was in. It was ridiculous that Joost was asking her to call the police on himself. But she couldn't resist when Joost showed her his screen where he had typed the emergency number in his calculator app.

While shaking her head, Fenne took his phone and laughed under her breath. Joost wanted to watch her navigate through the apps. He lingered over her shoulder with his chest barely an inch away from her. Fenne looked up through her eyelashes as she got to Joost's phone app and gulped. His polo was all she could see in her peripheral vision and it made her thumb shake as she tapped the call button.

When she put the phone to her ear, Fenne thought Joost would tell his friends that the party was about to be shut down. She spoke into the microphone to the operator while glancing up at the lingering man beside her. Every time she looked, he would smile drunkenly at her, brandishing his straight teeth and prominent dimple. It made her blush and stumble over her words, but when the operator said,

'Thank you for your call, Miss. We'll send an officer to the address within the hour,' Fenne was relieved to pull Joost's phone away from her ear.

'They're on their way,' she said. 'You might want to let Nathan and Stuntje know.'

'Actually, I think, um... I think I need to lay down.'

Turning to face Joost, Fenne noticed how much more he swayed in his place. His smile had slipped off of his pale face and his lids hung low over his eyes. Joost put one hand to his forehead and dragged it down the side of his face. Fenne saw the sweat that lined his brow and knew that Joost's enthusiasm to keep partying was dwindling.

'Oh god, are you going to be sick?' she said in concern.

'No, no, I just... I'm going to go to my room.'

'Here, I'll help you.'

Fenne took his elbow to guide him towards the house and to give his eyes a rest. In turn, Joost put his hands on Fenne's shoulders. She didn't mind feeling his grip if it meant that the man was behind her through the hall and at the foot of the stairs. People didn't pay any mind to the two from their own intoxication and Fenne eventually took the first step up the wooden staircase.

Joost went into autopilot up to the second floor and walked past Fenne to find his room. She trailed behind him as he practically fell into a door on the right and collapsed on the bed inside. A groan sounded once his back sunk into the mattress and Fenne peaked in from the hallway.

'Are you okay, Joost? Can I come in?'

He said something inaudible and made no move to close his door. Fenne wasn't sure about seeing Joost's room while he was too drunk to comprehend her presence. She had been in boys' rooms before and anticipated seeing things that a girl wouldn't dare leave lying on their bedroom floor. But with only the light of the hallway, Fenne was only able to make out the unmade bed and discarded clothes.

The noise from downstairs was dulled when Fenne crept past the doorway. She put her bag down on the chest of drawers next to her and bent down to turn on the lamp on the bedside table. Her own tipsiness made it a struggle, but she eventually flipped the switch and Fenne straightened up with a sigh.

'Lift your feet up. I'll take off your shoes,' she instructed and Joost surprisingly obliged. She undid his laces and pulled one sneaker off, before working on the other. She caught sight of his white socks and saw the 'I LOVE JOOST KLEIN' written above his ankle. Fenne wondered how she hadn't spotted this before.

'Thank you...' Joost slurred before grabbing the collar of his shirt to lift it over his head.

Despite being an adult, Fenne was quick to look away. The man yanked his shirt off to reveal a slightly toned stomach and a Pokemon tattoo on his ribs. She couldn't stop herself from looking and cursed the heat that rose to her cheeks. When Joost's closed eyes opened, Fenne was glad to hear the sound of police sirens outside.

The window faced the street that was lit up with blue and red. A single police car was forced to park amongst the countless other vehicles. People were making their way from the driveway in a mixture of panic and drunken stumbles. Two officers were discussing the party's shut down below, and when Fenne focused her eyes, she spotted Nathan and Teun standing with them.

There was doubt they were apologising. Fenne guessed they were making up a story about how the party got out of control and that random people started showing up. But she knew it was a lie, as Nathan seemed to have planned the night to become the crazy party that it was.

It was enough to get the police off their case, because she watched the officers head back towards their car. The music had stopped downstairs and the noise filtered out into the streets. Thankful for the quiet that now blanketted the house, Fenne pulled the hanging curtains closed.

When she turned around, she expected to see Joost fast asleep. He had been quiet and that was usually against his will. But she was met with open eyes that were already staring at her by the window.

'Are you okay?' she asked for the second time. Once again, Fenne got no answer.

A close-lipped smile played on Joost's lips. He had shifted to rest his head against his pillows which clouded around his hair and face. The duvet was thrown lazily over his chest, covering enough for Fenne to be able to keep her blush at bay. But with his denim shorts still on and his 'I LOVE JOOST KLEIN' socks at the end of the bed, Joost blinked at the girl in his bedroom.

'What?' Fenne said with a growing smile. He looked adorable with his tired eyes and flushed face. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and play with his bright hair that was flattened against his pillow.

'Nothing...'

It was quite the opposite, but he kept his true thoughts from tumbling out of his mouth. He was so tired and the cigarettes had caused his brain to fog up. But Fenne was in his bedroom and Joost didn't want to miss a moment that his younger self would have only dreamt of.

'You should go to sleep,' Fenne left the window to stand beside Joost's bed. He had left space on the edge in hopes that Fenne would sit beside him. She was hesitant at first, but the white sheets and man amongst them made the space so inviting.

Her own exhaustion got the better of her and Fenne lowered herself onto the mattress. It was the first time that she had sat down since arriving at the house. Meeting new people and spending time in a loud living room took a great deal of Fenne's energy and it was nice to be in a dark space next to a dozing Joost.

'You're so beautiful, Fenne...'

The voice was mumbled and half-asleep. She peered over her shoulder with parted lips and wide eyes, seeing Joost gazing up at her sleepily. His cling-wrapped arm laid next to his head and she would have thought his eyes were closed if it weren't for his fluttering lashes. She thought she had misheard, but she hoped not as a weight settled into her chest.

'W-What?'

'You're beautiful. You were the most beautiful girl in school, and even now, you're just...' he trailed off, a dreamy smile lingering on his face.

Fenne didn't know what to say. She sat, waiting for Joost to say that he was kidding, or to say some gibberish to show his true delirium, but he was silent. Frozen on the edge of his bed, Fenne stared at the young man who was the last person she thought would appear in her life again.

Soft breaths sounded and Fenne was alone in her bewilderment. Joost had finally given in to his body's yearn to sleep and was asleep with his face peacefully relaxed. The police lights had faded through the curtains, settling a thick but grounding air for Fenne to wallow in.

Ever since she met Joost, things had changed. She looked forward to the weekends when she would see him at clubs. When she made iced lattes with caramel, she thought about Joost and his tattoos. In between classes and at home, Fenne checked her Instagram for his posts, or her texts for his messages.

His laugh was adorably high and contagious. His music made Fenne enjoy her train to class and when she saw him dancing on stage, she wished that she had the courage to do the same. He was goofy, kind and when he needed to be, Joost was protective and prideful. His pink lips and fair facial hair was charming and Fenne adored when his fingers brushed against her skin, even more so when they threaded with hers. He was so gentle yet Fenne felt safe and happy in his hugs and when he lingered behind her like a human shield.

Joost had called her beautiful and that made her hopeful. The way she felt around him meant something. Fenne liked Joost, no, Fenne adored Joost.