Lyra had been haunted by the nightmares she thought she had vanquished years ago. Every single night, she could see James Potter, suffering and in pain. She had seen that pained face and heard his screams every night for years. Somewhere along the way, they disappeared as she seemed closer to healing from her loss. 

Not anymore. They were back and worse than ever. Because now, she couldn't only imagine how he would look, bloody and in pain. How he would look while dying. Because she had seen it and it was worse than she could ever imagine. 

It was a constant reminder of all the pain she had caused. All because she had tried to be good. So it was more than a reminder of how she failed those she loved. It was a reminder of how she had failed at being good.

Maybe she could never be a good person, no matter how hard she tried. It always seemed to end up causing someone misery in the end. Maybe everything she was doing now was a big mistake. Being best friends with Remus again, getting back her close relationship with Sirius, trying to be there for Harry. 

But she knew she was pushing herself down. It couldn't be true, because if goodness only caused misery, then all the amazing people she knew had to be a fluke in the universe. And she knew so many people whom she adored and looked up to. There couldn't be that many flukes. 

The girl she once was, naive and trusting, was only meant for misery when she did good. Because she didn't know how to tell when the good she saw was only a mask hiding the bad. 

Lyra was many things now, not all of them good. But no longer naive. She had seen so much pain and suffering. Hell, she'd gone through her fair share on her own. She didn't trust many people anymore, but she trusted herself. 

So she wanted to make amends. Those amends started with her son, who had suffered through growing up in a family where he knew his parents didn't love each other, though they did love him. He needed a lot of attention, even though he would never admit it. She hadn't given him as much of it lately with her time mostly spent working secretly for the Order of the Phoenix.

But every moment she could, she'd been helping him. Whether it was through explaining some of the Transfiguration coursework he was having trouble understanding or by taking him to buy some new (very expensive) dress robes. He seemed to appreciate it, though he was usually bad at showing it. She knew how to read him though. She'd had fifteen years of practice, after all. 

It didn't hurt that Lucius and Lyra had been fighting a lot less that summer. It wasn't only because both of them were out of the house a lot more (ironically working for opposing sides of a brewing war). They had a silent agreement to either ignore each other or be civil. Neither of them wanted more fighting. It was tiring and they had enough to do these days. 

Draco loved it. He had accepted years ago that his parents would never love each other. Sometimes he even doubted if they loved him, though he was always proven wrong and realized it was all in his head because of his insecurities.

But his parents were getting along better than they had in around ten years. They were even making idle conversation with their arms linked (though that last part was only for show) as they were dropping him off for his fifth year at Hogwarts. It was as good as it was ever going to get so he appreciating it greatly. 

"Alright, Draco. I have faith that you will do well. O.W.L.-year is one of the hardest, yet most important years of your school career," said Lucius stoically. Draco was mostly happy he had faith in him, honestly. 

Lyra smiled softly at her young son. "I'm really proud of you. Don't put too much pressure on yourself this year."

"But not too little either. We don't want you to slack off," the father added, giving his wife a pointed look. She only rolled her eyes and lightly pinched his arm, thinking Draco didn't notice. He noticed. 

Draco still seemed as close to happy as he had ever been. He was prefect, his parents didn't obviously hate each others' guts and he hadn't seen Harry Potter's smug face yet. Things were looking up. "I better go find my friends. Before I go to the prefect meeting we'd like to get a good compartment."

"Alright. We'll see you at Christmas then. Remember to write." Lyra grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug, not wanting to give up her son. It was just as hard every year. He was her little boy after all.

Draco was stiffened as he noticed how some older Gryffindors were laughing at him from a distance. He made a mental note to hex them later. "Mother, you're embarrassing me."

"It's what mothers do," Lyra chuckled. Once she let him go, she grabbed the side of his head and kissed his cheek sweetly, fighting the urge to cry, knowing she wouldn't see him for months. "I love you so much. Be good."

Draco smiled hesitantly. She could barely hear him whisper "I love you, too." But he did. That was all that mattered to her.

Lucius nodded curtly at their son, though a hint of a smile appeared on his face. It was the closest he would come to showing affection in public. He had a reputation to uphold. "Goodbye, Draco."

"Goodbye, father." Draco nodded back, grabbing his trunk and moving towards the great Hogwarts Express. 

Lyra silently wished she could board the train as well. Perhaps what she truly wanted was to go back in time and be happier than she was now. But the minute she started thinking about her past, the battered and bruised face that had haunted her nightmares flashed before her face. 

She shivered, and noted Lucius looking at her strangely for it. She quickly straightened up and sent him a strangely sweet smile. "So, I was thinking we should have some dinner guests over tonight. The house will feel so empty without Draco, after all."

"That sounds like a good idea," Lucius agreed, though still eyeing her strangely. He had known her for more years than he would bother to count. There was something bothering her. "Did you have anybody particular in mind?"

"Perhaps Cornelius would like to come over?" the blonde woman suggested, saying anything to get her mind off her old lover's dying face, trying to stop hearing the words he had spoken. "I feel like things have been a bit strange between him and I for the past year.  I'd like to clear the air."

"I'll send the letter as soon as we come home," Lucius nodded. He turned his head slightly, and suddenly let out a disgusted sound. 

Lyra turned her head to see what he was looking at, and found her gaze resting upon the Order of the Phoenix. The Weasleys were all there, along with Harry and Hermione. She instantly found herself looking at an elderly woman, confused as to who it was. It only took her a few seconds to realize that it was Tonks disguising herself.

But one of the people (if you could even call that someone a person in his current form) was annoying her greatly. Sirius wasn't supposed to leave Twelve Grimmauld Place, yet there he was. Thankfully in his Animagus form, at least. The last thing they needed was for people to be screaming about how there was a murderer loose at the station. 

The shaggy, black dog turned its head to her and opened its mouth as if to smile at her. She only narrowed her eyes into a glare, as if to tell her dog-cousin that he would be in big trouble the next time they were face-to-face. Not face-to-snout. 

But somebody else stole her attention after only a few seconds. She could feel Harry Potter himself looking at her strangely. When their eyes met, he plastered on a warm smile to cover up how he had been looking at her. 

It wasn't necessarily because he found her strange. It was just so weird to see her with Lucius Malfoy, like it always was. The logical part of him had always known that she was married to him and that she was the mother of his archenemy. 

But it was like his mind had created two different people. One person was Lyra Malfoy, a powerful figure in the pureblood community, the mother who had raised the most annoying child in the Wizarding World and married one of the cruelest men he had met. 

The other person was just Lyra. The woman who had loved his dad so much she had been willing to give up all that made her happy. The woman who had taken care of him like she was his own that whole summer. Who was so close to Sirius and Remus. 

The Lyra standing at the platform sure did look like the woman he had gotten to know. But her clothes looked too expensive, her chin was raised a tad too high, her arm was linked with her husband's as if she was a trophy and the glare she had been sending Sirius made it look like she was more Lyra's evil twin sister. 

But then her eyes met his and softened greatly. She returned his smile and he could see her again. And he was reassured that the woman she was with her family was the facade, not the woman she was with him and the Order. He really cared for her and it was nice to know it was real. 

He liked the woman he had gotten to know much more than he liked the woman he had seen with her family. Honestly, so did she. The one part of her family she loved, or even liked, was Draco. She didn't even like herself and the part she played most of the time. 

Lucius narrowed his eyes at the dog, who had now thrown itself on its hind-legs as if to give Harry a hug as Molly started hugging all the children at random. He then noted the smile his wife had exchanged with the young boy. "What are you doing, Lyra?"

She hurried to look at him, plastering a smile that was obviously fake. "What? The smile? Well, he was looking our way and I didn't want to be rude. That's not the Malfoy way, is it, Lucius?"

"I couldn't help but notice that dog they're walking around with," the blond man commented, waiting to see her reaction. He was sure she had known more than she had let on all those years ago, and he had learned a lot of new information from Peter Pettigrew. 

But Lyra was a smart woman. She knew exactly what he was fishing for and she was quite sure Peter had told Voldemort Sirius was an Animagus and shared the information with Lucius. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of her confirming that it was, in fact, her cousin there.

She tilted her head, as if she had seen the cutest thing ever. "Yes, so adorable, isn't it? Perhaps we should get a dog."

"Perhaps not," Lucius disagreed, though obviously displeased with her lack of response. He glanced towards the train, seeing Harry and his friends rush towards it. He caught sight of Draco for a moment. "I need to have a quick word with Draco before the train leaves. I'll be back in a moment."

"Fine," she said, though internally anxious about what he was telling their son. He could obviously sense it, smirking as he smugly kissed her cheek, as if to remind her he was in charge and he could do whatever he wanted. She was always at his mercy. At least, that's what he thought.

As he hurried to catch Draco before the train had left, Lyra turned her head to the remaining members of the Order at the station. She caught Remus's eyes, finally acknowledging his presence.

Lyra shook her head and sighed, as if disappointed in her best friend for allowing Sirius to go with them. He had obviously seen the public display of affection between her and her husband, equally disappointed in his saddened gaze. She looked away.

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The Malfoy Mansion seemed even emptier than usual as she returned. Lyra didn't really understand why, because the only person missing was Draco. Perhaps it was because she knew she would be spending the rest of the day there, not having any plans or ways to keep herself busy for the first time in months. 

Her and Lucius and apparated home simultaneously. Neither of them looking at each other. They both knew that sighting Sirius had caused a new gap between them. Because while they had their fair share of issues, what he had done to Sirius was what she loathed him the most for. 

And he loathed the lies. She hadn't respected him, or their roles as each other's family, enough to tell him the truth and let him know that her cousin was an Animagus. He had to learn the fact from that stupid rat, Peter Pettigrew. And now she had lied him straight in the face, as if he wouldn't be able to see it. 

"I'll be writing a letter to the Minister, inviting him over for dinner," Lucius said after a few moments of silence, glancing her way, finding that she was looking firmly at the floor. 

"Wait," she said, though sounding quite unsure. She hated been vulnerable in front of people, especially in front of Lucius, who could use it against her. She hesitantly looked up and met his eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

He frowned, surprised at how she was talking to him. "Of course."

"The Dark Lord being back..." she trailed off, trying to figure out a smart way to word her question. "Will things be like last time? Or are they different because Harry Potter is out there threatening him every day?"

"Well, he's keeping his coming back a secret for no-"

"I don't give a crap about what that means for him," she cut him off, her voice once again cold like it usually was with him. "What does it mean for us?"

"We will be forgiven for the mistakes we've made. We'll be in high-standing with him once again. I'll make sure of it," he stated, as if it was as simple as that. 

Lyra sighed in annoyance, running her fingers through her hair, messing up her once impeccable hairdo. "I don't care about that either. You know what I'm talking about. You made me a promise that you will protect Draco-"

He nodded, remembering making that promise only a few months before. "One that I intend to keep."

The witch became slightly less tense at this. Her top priority would always be her son and knowing that her husband, who was powerful in the Dark Lord's circle,"What about the promises you made to me all those years ago? Do they still count?"

"Yes," Lucius responded without hesitation, knowing exactly what she was talking about. He could see her fumbling with her left sleeve, though it was barely noticeable. "I made you a promise that you will never have to take the Dark Mark and I intend to keep it."

"Thank you." The words felt foreign on her mouth, especially when it was to him. She rarely felt thankful to him. But she knew he was a man of his word. He was slick when it came to making his promises (like when he promised he would try to keep James from the harshest of fates, which was a very ambiguous term). 

"I'm a lot of things, Lyra. Not all good." Lucius took a moment to contemplate his words, especially as his wife raised an eyebrow at him. "Fine. Perhaps most aren't good. But I am honorable. And I protect my family. I'd rather die than let them kill you."

This confession rattled her. She had long known that he cared for her in his own twisted way. But she couldn't ever have imagined that he'd die for her. "You don't mean that. Don't go around saying things you don't mean."

He pursed his lips, looking down at her shorter frame, sensing her discomfort. "I know you wouldn't do the same. I'm not stupid, Lyra. You don't have to care about what happens to me for me to want to protect you."

She raised her chin to meet his eyes. "Of course I care about what happens to you, Lucius. I don't want you to get hurt, much less killed. You're not always the best man or husband. For Merlin's sake, you usually aren't. But I don't hate you."

He looked at her doubtfully. "We both know it'd be better for you if I were dead."

"I'd be freer, that's for sure," Lyra admitted, not wanting to lie to him. "But I wouldn't be happier knowing you were in pain or dead. I can't hate you. It's hard to hate someone when you know your lives are tied together like ours. No matter how hard I try. You're my husband. You're Draco's father. I can't ever change that."

"Exactly. We're family, Lyra. Family protect one another. I hope, when push comes to shove, you will protect me like I'm willing to protect you, no matter our old grudges."

"I'd never stand by and watch you be killed. I haven't spend the last seventeen years with you for nothing," she said. The silence hung around the room for a moment as they stared into each other's eyes, as if trying to break each other down. 

They both knew they didn't have a healthy relationship and that they never would. But they cared, no matter how much they wanted to push it down. For better or for worse, they were family. And if there was one thing the Malfoys cherished, it was family. 

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A/N: SO SORRY THIS TOOK EXTREMELY LONG! I've been super busy, you have no idea. But I thought that now was as good a time as any. This is the hundredth chapter of the series and I thought it would be a good way to celebrate the fact that I'm turning 18 this Thursday! sooo I hope you enjoy and aren't too mad at me for not updating (even if this is honestly more of a filler chapter). Love you guys regardless!

PS: Screw JK Rowling. Did you know that I am writing this based on a book series written by Daniel Radcliffe when he was eight years old? Talk about a child prodigy.