The first really good news in a while came when it was revealed that Harry Potter got off on his hearing at the Ministry on whether or not his use of underage magic was justified self-defence or just him showing off and terrorizing muggles. As if, Lyra thought. 

Sadly, she hadn't been able to see him off before the hearing, helping play the perfect hostess for the Dark Lord or whatever she was supposed to call him these days. She didn't really know anymore. 

But she made sure she had gotten to Twelve Grimmauld Place when he got back, looking extremely happy with a slightly stressed-looking Arthur Weasley walking him through the doors of the old house. 

"I knew it!" Ron exclaimed the moment they revealed the good news, pumping his fist in the air in pure joy. He wouldn't be able to survive a year at Hogwarts without his best friend in the world. "You always get away with stuff!"

"They were bound to clear you, there was no case against you, none at all," Hermione said, as though she hadn't been nervously hyperventilating in the moments before Harry had returned, and she had the air knocked out of her in fear. 

"Everyone seems quite relieved, though, considering you all knew I'd get off," the Potter boy retorted, though smiling brightly. He had been the most nervous once he left, not knowing what he'd do with his life if he couldn't go to Hogwarts and be a great wizard. 

"He got off! He got off! He got off!" Ginny, Fred and George were dancing strangely, making Lyra think about how strange the youth had become. Then she thought about how old she sounded which was sort of depressing. She was closer to forty than she was to thirty after all. 

"That's enough, settle down!" Arthur yelled, trying to force himself not to smile, but he was in a good mood even if he had some serious news to say. "Listen, Lyra, Lucius Malfoy was at the Ministry-"

Lyra and Sirius exchanged glances at the mention of her sleazy husband, but Sirius did have a slightly stronger hatred for the man, so it was he who spoke up with a sharp poison in his voice. "What?"

Despite their father's serious words, three of the Weasley children still jumped around Harry, dancing together like a trinity of ginger lunatics. "He got off! He got off! He got off!"

"Be quiet you three!" Arthur commanded sternly, turning to Lyra, who looked annoyed at the reminder that she was married to Lucius. "Yes, we saw him talking to Fudge on Level Nine, then they went up to Fudge's office together. Dumbledore ought to know."

"Absolutely," Sirius agreed. "We'll tell him, don't worry."

"Lyra," Harry spoke up, looking at her as if he had an idea. "You know Malfoy better than anybody here. Do you think there's any way that he could be using the Imperius Curse on the Minister to make him do his bidding?"

"No way," the blonde woman scoffed. "He's a close family friend, he takes Lucius's advice to heart. He wouldn't be so dumb as to curse him and risk getting caught using an Unforgivable when he could use his influence in other ways."

"Oh, alright." The Potter boy looked down, disappointed. He had hoped Lucius Malfoy was dumber than he thought so he actually would get caught and that problem would be out of their lives forever. 

Arthur nodded, accepting her response. "Well, I'd better get going, there's a vomiting toilet waiting for me in Bethnal Green. Molly, I'll be late, I'm covering for Tonks, but Kingsley might be dropping in for dinner-"

The chorus of "He got off! He got off! He got off!" continued, which was getting a bit old as it had been going on for five minutes and it seemed like Ginny and George had gotten into a competition of who could get their voice more high-pitched. Surprisingly, George was winning. 

Arthur left the kitchen, preparing to leave the house. Molly looked at her children in annoyance. "That's enough! Fred, George, Ginny! Harry, dear, come and sit down, have some lunch, you hardly ate breakfast."

Harry and his friends happily sat down by the table and Ron started scooping mashed potatoes on people's plates. Lyra had to decline as she couldn't eat. They were going to have yet another feast at home that night and if she didn't eat enough it would be considered rude, so she couldn't risk getting full at lunch. 

Sirius wouldn't take this, though, and shoved an apple in her mouth. She slapped his arm over his over-protectiveness and incessant need to make sure she was always perfectly okay, even if it was sweet. Not that she'd let him know that she thought that. 

"'Course, once Dumbledore turned up on your side, there was no way they were going to convict you," Ron was babbling happily, looking in the best mood he had been since Hermione had first shown up at the house. 

"Yeah, he swung it for me," Harry said, though sounding strangely petty. Lyra supposed he was just getting tired of being ignored by his Headmaster, his mentor. "I wished he'd talked to me, though. Or even looked at me."

Lyra noticed how down Sirius had looked ever since Harry had come back with the grin on his face. She looked at him, leaning close so nobody could hear them talk. "What's up? Are you alright?"

He quickly straightened his back, forcing that cocky smile he always showed off when they were younger. There was always a hidden insecurity only his closest friends could see, but it was far less convincing now. "I'm perfect, what are you talking about?"

"Of course you're perfect, you're related to me," she retorted wittily, making him chuckle deeply. If he didn't want to talk yet (though she was going to make him the minute she got him alone) she could at least cheer him up.

"He got off! He got off! He got off!"

"Shut up!" Molly roared.

▹▹▹

Lyra found Sirius sitting on the same dusty sofa her and Harry had been on a few days before. She watched as he stared at some sort of picture, frowning deeply. She had a bit of a feeling of what he was looking at. Or rather, who. 

"What's going on with you?" the blonde asked her cousin, making his head snap up in surprise. She quirked a single eyebrow at him, smiling teasingly at him. "You're not acting like an arrogant ass like usual."

He nodded, strangely not seeming in the mood to come up with many witty retorts and playful troublemaker smiles. It was very unlike him, so she knew something was really up. "Twelve years in Azkaban does that to a person."

"How strange it only does that to a person two years after they escape," she retorted, not believing in his excuse for even a minute. She knew him better than that. "Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

He shrugged. "Only sometimes."

Her smile quickly faded and she sent him an annoyed look. "Rude."

"Truth," he responded, his lips tugging upwards slightly, though it seemed a bit forced as she walked closer to sit next to him on the sofa. "You make really dumb decisions sometimes and you know it."

"Of course I know it. I'm living with it every day," she responded, sounding more bitter now. A few moments passed before she sighed. "I'm sorry. I know you say it's not my fault but I still led you to be stuck in Azkaban. And I know it wasn't easy for you..."

"I've never blamed you, Lyra. You know I could never blame you for something like this," he assured her, trying to seem comforting though he needed the comfort himself. "It's better now. Being back with you and Remus, getting to know Harry and spending all this time with him."

"That's it,"she realized, her eyes widening in realization. She knew it was a bit mean and manipulative to repeat an apology (which was sincere) just in hope that she would get some answer from him. But, then again, it was what she did best. "You didn't want him to go back to Hogwarts."

His shoulders slumped as he realized he had been figured out. Sirius never understood the methods to her madness, never having possessed those Slytherin traits that had been so obvious in her. He was a Gryffindor through and through. "Is it selfish of me?"

"Yes," Lyra answered honestly, as he could usually tell when he was lying. But it was mostly teasing, which was obvious as she smiled slightly at him. "But I can't judge, I can be twice as selfish as you."

"Only sometimes," he teased in return. He liked that about their more serious discussions lately, that they could have a bit of humor and teasing in it. It didn't feel as drab then. It was different than when they were kids, which she supposed was James's influence on her. "You're just stupid sometimes because you try to be selfless but because you're stupid it ends up seeming selfish."

"You've got me all figured out, do you?" Lyra asked, though knowing he had figure her out at least thirty years ago, but she wouldn't admit that. She liked thinking she could be a bit mysterious sometimes, even to him. 

He snickered to himself, nodding sarcastically. "Only took me almost thirty-six years, but I think I'm getting there."

The blonde woman scrunched her nose up at them almost being thirty-six years old. She never thought about one day being an adult, feeling like she'd be young forever. "We're getting old."

"Not all of us." There was a tension returning as Sirius sniffled. "I miss him, Lyra. I know it's awful of me, but I can't help but see James every single time I look at Harry and I want him close. I care for Harry himself, don't get me wrong. But... I just wish James was here."

"Me too," she sighed. It was strange how she had talked more about James for the past few days than she did in over a decade before reuniting with him and Remus. "I think about him every day. What I'd give for him to jump on a table and embarrassingly declare his love for me in a public place now."

He chuckled a bit at the memory, remembering  how much he admired his best friend's bravery in that moment, being so bold and brave. It had inspired him to do something similar, though not as seriously. "Only if McGonagall's there so I can propose to her again."

He even made Lyra laugh a bit, which she didn't think she could do while talking about how much she missed the love of her life and had done so for around fifteen years. "Maybe she'll finally say yes this time."

Sirius faked a dreamy sigh, enough to convince anyone he didn't know very well that he could be longing after his old Transfiguration Professor. "Yeah, the age difference is less creepy now, at least."

It had been nice to be lighthearted for a few moments, but she knew there was something she'd need to ask, something that had been on her mind for so long. "How did you cope? Being in there, only having sadness and pain around you. You must have thought about him so much and I can't imagine how much that had to hurt."

The dark-haired man was surprised at the question, obviously not having expected it from her. "I didn't have any other choice. I had to cope. I had to think about how you and Remus and Harry was still out there. And Peter and his little rat face. Next time I'll stomp on it."

"Not if I do it first," she grinned, hoping she would get her hands on him once more. This time, she wouldn't be so forgiving, no matter what Harry would say. "You know, I really wish things were different. I'm sorry."

Sirius looked at her sympathetically, knowing she had been blaming herself for all of their bad situations for so long. The thought had never occurred to him. He knew there was only one man to blame and that was Voldemort. "You can't apologize for the war. It wasn't all your fault."

"But we don't know that," Lyra reminded him, frowning so deeply she was afraid she'd create a new frown line in one night. "We don't know if he would have died if I hadn't left him. I shouldn't have."

He didn't know what to say. It was clear that these thoughts had haunted her for so long and it wasn't easy to change someone's head around after what was closing in on twenty years. "You couldn't have known."

"I should have known. It would be different, so different." She closed her eyes, feeling the urge to cry but not wanting to. "And we could have been happy. That's the worst part and it haunts me. We could have been happy."

"You were. You made him happier than anybody in the world," he said, hoping it would be some sort of comfort. Then he tilted his head and added: "Except for me, that is. I was the true love of his life."

Lyra barely snickered at his joke before biting her lip, staring into space as she hoped she wouldn't cry. "I think I loved him a little too much."

"I think we all did. That's why it's so hard to move on. Even when it's been years and we should be better than this, more mature than this," said Sirius. "But if it's any comfort, he loved you a little too much, too."

"If only it had been enough." Her eyes were glistening with the ideas of what could have been, perhaps it was what should have been. It all depended on whether or not they were truly meant to be, or if they were only doomed from the start. She hoped for the first one. "It could have been a good life."

Sirius knew it was easy to wallow in sadness, but he had done his best to not only think of the horrors of James's death, but also to honor his life. "We've had a good life. He did, too. He got to love you, to have great friends, to have a great kid. He had a really good, eventful life for being so young."

"It can still be good, can't it?" she asked, hopefully. She sounded strangely optimistic, but she supposed it was all she could do. If she would act like a pessimist now then she wouldn't see any reasons to go on. "You and me, we can make a pact right now. Together, we'll do our best to make our lives good again."

"We're already on that path, I'd say. I've got you in my life again and you have to spend less time with your git of a husband," he muttered the last part bitterly. "Remind me why you don't just leave him again?"

She rolled her eyes, having told him this a million times since they'd reconnected. Even before that, when he had snuck into her hospital room after she gave birth in 1980. "We've got a kid. I kinda love him."

"Bloody kid," he said softly, though obviously not harboring any bitterness towards Draco himself (other than hearing about how mean he had been to Harry throughout the last four years).

"You'd like him. He reminds me of Regulus, actually." Lyra was smiling until she remembered the fate their family member had met because of who he was and what he had gotten involved with it. "Which really worries me sometimes but I hope I can help Draco in a way I couldn't help him. I won't lose my son like I lost him."

Sometimes, Sirius wished she had never gotten pregnant. She would have left him the moment she had been pushed over the edge and perhaps things would be better. But he couldn't blame her for loving her child. "You won't. You could be a shit cousin sometimes but you've always been a great mum."

She gaped in offence. "Shut up, I'm not a shit cousin!"

"Eh, I said sometimes," he said, before his smile become more sincere than teasing. "You love your kid. And you've said you have some sort of agreement with your husband to keep him and you from being Death Eaters. He'll be alright. He's lucky to have you."

"And Harry's lucky to have you," Lyra assured him, wanting to make sure that she could still make him feel better about it. "You don't have to be around him the whole year for that. You've got plenty of years to make up for lost time and you'll be let out of here as an innocent man the moment I find Peter's face and step on it."

There was something that made him so proud about the fire in her eyes when she talked about how much she wanted to show Peter pain. He was afraid he'd never see that fire again after they left Hogwarts. "I just wish I didn't have to be so alone here."

"You won't be!" She reached out to grab his hand comfortingly. "The Order will be coming around all the time, including Remus. Because, let's be honest, what else is he going to do with his time. And now Draco's going to Hogwarts after the summer and I'll be coming around here a lot more to avoid Lucius."

He seemed to consider believing her words for a moment before pulling his hand back from hers, only to lift it up and hold his pinky-finger out to her with a wide grin. "You pinky-swear?" 

"You bloody child," she rolled her eyes. But, she still lifted her own hand and entertwined her pinky-finger with his. They hadn't really done that since they were five and he made her swear not to eat his cookie. She ate his cookie. "I pinky-swear."

After they'd finished their promise, he smiled widely at her. He looked at her, realizing that although they both looked older, it was still Lyra in front of him. The little girl he had once known. She was somewhere inside there, breaking out past the barrier of the housewife she had been forced to be. "I know it's gross and everything, but I love you. I'm glad you're back in my life."

She thought the same. He may have aged a little worse than her due to being in Azkaban, but he hadn't lost any of the charm and humor that made him Sirius Black. He was only a bit more damaged. But then again, they all were. "It really is gross, but I do love you, too. And I'm happier than you that you're back in my life."

He seemed offended that she'd say she was happier about their close relationship than he was, holding up his fists. "Fight me!"

Lyra raised her own fists, her eyebrows raised in challenge. "Bring it on!"

▹▹▹

A/N: Thank you guys so much for over 200k reads on Instead, which is growing more for every day. When I finished it (only three weeks ago) it had 120k. It's so crazy, I can't believe it. 

Also, I don't know why, but I was listening to "You should see me in a crown" by Billie Eilish while writing this because it's been reminding me so much of Lyra's vibe and the lyrics also work. I mean, you can't tell me "Tell me which one is worse, living or dying first" doesn't work so well for James and Lyra or "Bite my tongue, bide my time, wearing a warning sign" is such bad bitch Lyra in this book. That song is just my bad bitch Lyra anthem in general, oops.