Lyra didn't feel anything. It was as if her body was completely numb. What was there to feel? If there was anything, would she want to feel it? Because without Sirius she didn't know if it was worth it. 

She had never lived entirely without him, she had always known he was out there. He was born one month before her and had always decided to act as though he was her older brother, even if they were cousins. He had always sworn to protect her and help her as much as he could.

Why couldn't she return the favor? She never had. She had been too scared to save him from Azkaban. She had left him to rot and the guilt had gnawed at her. He hadn't blamed her. She knew that. She could still blame herself. 

She didn't save him. Maybe she wouldn't have been able to if she had been there, either. But it wasn't like she'd ever know. She'd have to live the rest of her life not knowing, thinking that she could have saved him if she was there, if she had just left Lucius and stayed with the Order full time. They would have let her go. 

She had been too selfish and it might have killed Sirius. 

Lyra walked through the door of Malfoy Manor. She expected it to be quiet. The house elves never dared make a sound. Draco was still in school for a few more days and Lucius was locked up in Azkaban. She was going to be all alone for a little while longer. 

Or, well, she was supposed to be. 

Lyra could quickly hear a few voices, female voices, discussing something in hushed voice. One of them rather stern and another one sounding like she had been crying. It didn't take much thought to figure out who they were. 

Lyra stepped into the parlor, where the two women were located. She was right. There was Bellatrix and Narcissa, both of whom seemed to be dealing with the repercussions of the night. They both quickly turned to look at her. 

"Lyra..." Narcissa trailed off, her voice breaking. For a moment, Lyra wondered if her sister was actually sad because Sirius had died. Then she remembered that wasn't possible. It was because of Hector. Because he had been arrested and thrown into Azkaban alongside Lucius. 

Lyra refused to look at the other blonde. Instead, she focused on their eldest sister. Lyra's expression was colder than it ever had been. Her cheeks were streaked with tears but there was no sadness in her eyes. There was only a cool anger. "Get out."

Narcissa frowned, momentarily not sobbing out of pure shock. She had expected understanding, some sort of love from her little sister. Not whatever this was. "What? Are you serious?"

"I want you out of my house, Bella," Lyra continued, watching as Bellatrix's eyes went colder in retaliation. "How dare you come here? Into my home after everything you've done? How could you?"

Bellatrix scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest, covering the dirt on the top of her dress. "It's hardly my fault that Lucius wasn't able to lead a mission properly. You can't blame me for him getting himself locked up."

Lyra didn't understand how she could be so ignorant. Lucius was one thing. He was the one who refused to stay behind, who got himself into his mess. "I'm not talking about Lucius and you know it!"

"What else is the-" Bellatrix cut herself off as she realized. Then she started hysterically laughing, sounding like a mad woman. Lyra supposed she was one by now. "Is this because of Sirius? That damned blood traitor?"

Narcissa looked between her two sisters, obviously rather confused. She wasn't crying anymore. The confusion had gone to her head, almost making her forget how to cry. "What about Sirius? I thought he was on the run." 

"She killed him," Lyra said softly, though still coolly. "Bella killed him."

In true Black fashion, Narcissa let out a dramatic gasp. Whether she was sad or not was hard to tell, but she was definitely surprised. Shocked, even. "What? You killed Sirius? He's dead?"

Lyra pursed her lips for a moment. Though it was all she'd thought about since she had recently left the Ministry, she didn't like to hear the words be spoken out loud. "You killed him in cold blood. And for what? What did you have to gain from killing him, huh?"

"It was a battle, Lyra," Bellatrix reminded her, still looking strangely unbothered. "People die in battles. And he was a blood traitor! An awful, disgusting, filthy person who didn't deserve to call himself a Black!"

That was the final straw, and Lyra quickly reached into her robes, pulling her wand out. Tears were spilling from her eyes as she pointed it at her oldest sister. Her hands were shaking and her breathing was shallow. "Don't you dare say those things! You're the only filth here!"

Narcissa had turned pale, her wide eyes watching the wand warily, though it wasn't pointed at her. "Lyra, put your wand down."

"Oh, shut it, Cissy!" Lyra snapped, pointing her wand at the other blonde for only a quick moment. She hesitated as she watched her older sister take a terrified step back. "This is none of your business. This is between Bella and I."

"That it is," Bellatrix agreed, her voice sounding tense, though not scared. More like she was growing angrier. "I have been patient with you for years, Lyra. But this... your hysterics over the death of a blood traitor. Disgusting."

Lyra shifted where she stood. "I remember being twelve years old when I first saw you cast an Unforgivable. I cast it myself when I was seventeen if you remember. You cast it on me when I was eighteen. Perhaps it's time for you to taste what it feels like. Trust me, it's not something you forget easily."

"Do it." Bellatrix raised one eyebrow in challenge, not even reaching for her wand. Either she didn't believe Lyra woudl do it or she wasn't scared of the curse in itself. "Come on, Lyra. You think I should feel what it feels like. Go ahead. Do it!"

Lyra's hand wouldn't stop shaking. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she wasn't sure if she was more sad or angry. She couldn't concentrate, she could only imagined how scared Sirius must have been as he died, how he must have been in pain knowing Bellatrix's sadistic tendencies. "Cruci-"

"Expelliarmus!" Narcissa suddenly cast the disarming spell, making the wand fly out of Lyra's hand. She was crying, too. But more for her sisters than for her late cousin.

Lyra turned to her sister, shocked and betrayed at how she would stop her from finally getting the vengeance she had deserved for years. Bellatrix was surprised, too. Both at Lyra actually being about to cast the curse and Narcissa stopping her.

"That's enough!" Narcissa stated firmly, though her voice was breaking. She sniffled, trying hard to keep sobs from rocking her body. "We are sisters and we need each other! H- Hector's gone to jail and so has Lucius and Rodolphus. We need to protect each other. Please."

They were silent for a moment, but only because Lyra needed to process the audacity of what Narcissa was saying. A tear fell from her eye. "So you'll protect her? You'll stop her from getting that awful curse cast on her? But when she did the exact same thing to me... all you could do was stand by and watch."

"Things are different now," she responded in a low whisper, though obviously unsure on how to defend herself. 

"And I'd say this is a very different situation nonetheless," said Bellatrix casually. "I mean, all I did was kill a blood traitor working against the Dark Lord. What you did... whoring yourself around with mudblood-loving filth like James Potter, who frankly deserved exactly what he got-"

Lyra didn't hesitate when she took a step forward, used all her might and slapped Bellatrix in the face. She would have done worse if she had her wand in her hands, but she could not let Bellatrix get away with what she doing, the things she were saying. 

"Lyra!" Narcissa scolded her sharply, but neither of them paid attention to her.

Mostly out of shock, the dark-haired woman reached up to touch her cheek, where Lyra had just hit her. It was red, though it hadn't been hard enough to leave a handprint on her face. "Resorting to muggle fighting, are we? Well, I always knew you had inclinations towards being a blood traitor. But this is serious."

Lyra shook her head as Bellatrix cackled at her own joke. It wasn't funny. The death of a family member, a man Lyra had missed and loved for as long as she could remember, was not something to laugh at. "I can't believe you."

"I'll let this one slide because you're my sister and I understand you're upset that Lucius failed in his mission and you won't be seeing him for long," Bellatrix said with an eerie calmness. "But you cannot step another toe out of line. You have a son to worry about. You wouldn't want to put a target on his back as well, would you?"

She couldn't believe her own sister would use her son, Bellatrix's nephew, as a way to threaten her. Draco should not have to suffer because of her and Lucius's actions. And even though she knew she was right, she was blinded by a devastated anger. 

She quickly turned around, trying to catch sight of her wand. She started rushing towards it, preparing to take it and curse her mad older sister into oblivion. But she never got the chance as someone stepped into the room and grabbed her wand. 

Lyra stared up at the man, surprised to see him as she had thought he must have gone back to Azkaban. But she didn't have time to think about that because all she wanted was her wand. "Give me my wand, Rabastan."

"No," the Lestrange man responded shortly, looking a bit thrown off by the tears she was crying. He definitely hadn't expected to see her so upset. "You need to calm down, Lyra."

"I- I can't," the blonde stuttered. Him showing up had caught her off guard, causing a shift in her behavior. The anger seemed to be retreating, allowing the sadness to take over her whole body. "I- With everything that's- Please."

Rabastan clenched his jaw, casting a glance at the two other of the sisters who were standing by and watching them carefully. "I think you should leave. I'll take her of her. It's probably not a good idea for you to be around her right now."

"How dare you tell me what to do, Rabastan?" Narcissa asked, a dark look on her face that hadn't been there as she spoke to her sisters. "After everything you've done... You have no right!"

"I understand that you don't like me very much right now, Narcissa," Rabastan countered, grabbing a hold of Lyra's arm to make sure she wouldn't run and do something stupid as he took a step forward. "But this is about Lyra. We all love Lyra and want her to be alright. That can't happen when you're still here."

"Come on, Cissy." Bellatrix took her arm and nodded towards the door. "We'll talk to her later when she has calmed down."

Lyra tried to get out of Rabastan's grip, attempting to rush at her as they walked out the door leading to the door to get out of Malfoy Manor. But Rabastan was still strong after all these years, holding her back as she cried. 

Once he was sure that Bellatrix and Narcissa had left the Manor, and probably apparated away, he let go of her. It didn't take more than a second for her to fall to the floor, resting her back against the wall, crying hysterically as sobs rocked her entire body. 

Rabastan wasn't sure how to deal with this sort of emotion. He had never been the friend to sit there with her as she cried. That friend had died long ago and he had watched it happen. He hesitated as he sat down next to her. "I don't know what to say."

Lyra didn't respond. She refused to look at him. Because she had too much on her mind. Lucius was in Azkaban, Sirius was dead, Draco was coming back from school in only a couple of days and she had no idea how to be there for him about this. He wouldn't understand that she was devastated over Sirius's death. It's not like she could tell him. 

"I, uhm, I wish there was something I could do," Rabastan said awkwardly, only watching the woman crying next to him. He hesitantly reached out and held onto her hand, hoping to grant her some sort of comfort. As he did this, her crying started becoming more silent, less vocal. "I want to help you."

"You can't," Lyra answered quietly. She looked up, gazing at him. Her eyes were red and puffy, the same as her cheeks. "Without Lucius... I don't know what I'm supposed to do.What's going to happen to me? And what's going to happen to Draco?"

"Lyra, you can do this," Rabastan said firmly. "I have been your friend for over twenty years. You are strong. And if you ever feel alone... I'm here. I've always been here. I'll- I'll protect you like Lucius always has."

"You don't understand," the blonde whispered. Rabastan had always been convinced that she had wanted to be Death Eater. She didn't know if he knew what kind of protection her husband granted her. 

He still looked a bit uncomfortable, not knowing what to do. "Maybe I don't. But I'm here no matter what. For you, I always am. Always have been."

"Mmm," she hummed for a moment, still trying to wrap her mind around everything that's happened. "How come you weren't there? I thought all the major Death Eaters were. Even Hector was and you weren't."

"I was supposed to be," he admitted, running his fingers through his brown hair. She noted how much skinnier he was than back when they were at Hogwarts, his cheeks were hollow and sunken. "Lucius told me to stay home."

Lyra glanced down at the mention of her husband. "Why would he do that?"

Rabastan noted how she had stopped crying and tried to suppress a smile, knowing it wasn't too inappropriate. "It's no secret that Lucius isn't a big fan of me anymore. He hasn't been ever since I got out of Azkaban. He thinks I'm too close to you."

"That doesn't make any sense," Lyra chuckled, thinking it sounded ridiculous. It felt strange to laugh, no matter how small that laugh was. It felt wrong after everything that had happened. "Lucius doesn't care. He doesn't love me. He never has."

His brown eyes were scrutinizing her intensely. "But you love him?"

"No." Lyra hadn't ever admitted to Rabastan that her and Lucius weren't a regular married couple. There had always been something stopping her from telling him. "I care about him, don't get me wrong. But I haven't been in love for a long time."

"Me neither."

Lyra couldn't ever remember seeing Rabastan in love. There was one person who he had been interested in, but she thought it was mostly to snog her. But if he had ever loved anyone it had to have been her. "Not since Lucinda?"

He frowned for a moment before gaping slightly in remembrance of the girl. It was like he had forgotten her, which Lyra found rather strange. "Right. Lucinda."

There was something strange in the way he was looking at her and Lyra couldn't quite figure it out and so she cleared her throat and looked away. "So... If you didn't go to the Department of Mysteries then somebody would have to go in your place, right?"

Rabastan nodded shortly. "Lucius asked Hector."

"That's why Cissy's so angry with you," the blonde realized. No matter their differences, Narcissa really did adore Hector in her own way. Without him, she would be lost. She supposed she was lost now. "If it weren't for you then Hector wouldn't be in Azkaban now."

"I don't care what Narcissa thinks of me. I've never cared what she's thought," Rabastan said, moving himself a little bit closer to her, so they were now shoulder-to-shoulder. "I'm here now because of it. I'm with you."

"Thank you." Lyra leaned forth, resting her forehead against his. She thought of it as an innocent enough action. She had done the same with Remus several times. It was a way for her to show closeness and trust.

Rabastan smiled slightly. "I missed you so much when I was gone, you know that? To be back here... to have gotten you back into my life... That's everything to me. And I'll be there to protect you, no matter what."

Lyra didn't say another word. She barely opened her eyes, watching him sitting so close to her. There was a strange new tension, one she had never felt with Rabastan before. Well, she hadn't since she was fifteen. She could barely see him glance down and for a moment a dumb part of her was ready for whatever seemed to be about to happen. 

But then faces of so many people flashed before her face. Lucius, Draco, Narcissa, Sirius, Remus, Lucinda, Harry. James. All of them were people who would definitely try to knock some sense into her if they could see what was happening, what she was about to do. 

Lyra shook herself away, turning her face away from his. She closed her eyes for a moment, attempting to figure out what was going on with her. This was new, this wasn't supposed to happen. It had been an emotional night and she had needed someone.

She was desperate for the protection that he had been offering her. She had learned a long time ago that doing whatever she could for protection didn't work out. It hadn't with Lucius. It hadn't been worth it. 

Her hands started looking for any way to keep busy, so they stared being run through her jaw-length hair in nervousness. "I- ehm, I think I need to be alone for a little while. I'll see you later. Thanks for being here. You're a good friend."

She didn't look at him, but she could hear him let out a disappointed breath of air. "Right. I'll have to go to Narcissa's, even if she does hate me. Bellatrix is staying there and we are the only ones left."

Lyra didn't say another word to him, her eyes staying closed. She didn't dare move her head before she could hear the pop signalling that he had apparated out of her home. He hadn't bothered to use the door and she honestly wasn't very surprised. 

She turned her head back, leaning it against the wall behind her, though not moving another muscle. She let a tear fall. For Lucius, for Draco, for Remus, for Sirius. For herself. For whatever was going to happen after that long night. 

▹▹▹

Aurors had started watching Malfoy Manor a lot more than Lyra would have liked. She had barely been able to leave the house to pick Draco up from King Cross Station without noticing at least ten stationed around the house. 

She could tell Draco didn't like it. He had obviously been taking his father's imprisonment rather hard. He had barely said a word to her as she picked him up, only daring to say Hello, mother. It felt rather impersonal but she understood that it was a hard thing for a sixteen-year-old boy to face. 

Lyra closed the front door as Draco dragged his trunk towards the stairs. She was worried he'd just lock himself in his room and not say another word to. "Draco... If you want to talk... about any of what's happened then you can talk to me. I'm your mother and I love you. All I want is to be happy."

"Uhm, Aunt Bella sent me a letter yesterday," he only said quietly, barely looking up at his mother. He was even paler than usual with a far-away look in his eyes. She wasn't sure if he'd been eating properly either. 

The blonde woman swallowed a lump in her throat, not liking the idea of her sister, who she had recently tried to use an Unforgivable Curse on, had been corresponding with her son. "What did she say?"

"He wants to meet with me," the young boy said. Though he kept his chin high, there was a bit of fear behind his eyes that he still hadn't learned to mask. "The Dark Lord wants to see me. Well, me and Marcus. You and Aunt Cissy are invited to come too. She said something about how you'd rather like to hear it from me than her."

It was as if every vein in her body was freezing up and she felt like she was in pain at the idea. Even back in her own youth, when she had been an attempted recruit for the Death Eaters, hadn't she been asked to have a private meeting with Voldemort. "Did she say what he wants with you?"

Draco refused to meet her eye. "I think it's pretty easy to assume."

Lyra glanced at his forearm, which she knew was bare underneath his robes. She felt terrified and sick to her stomach that it would soon be tainted with that horridly evil tattoo that her husband had once had. 

She knew it wasn't right to show how scared she was in front of Draco. He was just a kid, a boy, and he shouldn't have to bear her pain. She was going to take care of it and she knew that the only way to do that was to put her pride, and personal feelings, aside. She had to whatever it would take.

Lyra walked towards him, grabbing his head and kissing the top of it, like she had always done when he was little. She had to get up on her tip-toes and he had to lean down to make it happen, but she needed him to know that she was near and would always do whatever she could to protect him. 

She smiled reassuringly at him, though it was fake. "You should get to bed, you're probably tired with everything that has been going on. I'll take a trip to Cissy's for an hour or two. I'll be back in time for dinner, alright?"

Draco hadn't noticed just how tired he was until his mother mentioned it. She must have noticed the dark circles underneath his eyes. Ever since he was told what had happened with his father he hadn't gotten more than an hour a night. "Right, I'm gonna lie down for a while."

▹▹▹

Lyra apparated into the middle of Flint Manor. She didn't have time to be polite and knock on the door to try to find her sisters and then the person she was looking for. She didn't have time for that. It was urgent.

It didn't look like Narcissa and Bellatrix were home, but there was obviously somebody in the house as the lights were on and she could hear noises coming from the kitchen. It couldn't be her sisters (or Marcus if he had gotten back so soon) because they didn't know how to cook. 

She took a deep breath, preparing herself what was going to happen when she opened the door. It could change everything if she was actually brave enough to do it. She had been once, trying to do something similar, though it hadn't ended well with Lucius. She could be brave. She had to be brave. 

Because she wasn't stupid, she knew there was only way to guarantee protection. No friend was trustworthy in the world of Pureblood supremacists. If they were then she would have become best friends with Lucius instead of his wife all those years ago. 

Lyra hesitantly opened the door, where Rabastan was cooking something. She couldn't see exactly what and she honestly didn't care. She hadn't come over to eat or chat. She had a mission, one she never believed she would have.

"Lyra..." he trailed off as he realized she was there. He was looking at her, surprised, but also with a wondering look on his face. He wasn't sure why she had come. Part of her wasn't, either, but she knew exactly what she had do.

"Please don't talk."

And so Lyra walked forth and did something she never thought she would ever do. Because it hadn't crossed her mind to do so for twenty years, but she was desperate for some assurance that she would be protected. And most of all, that she could have some help in protecting Draco now that the Dark Lord had called him in to a meeting with him. 

And so Lyra Malfoy kissed Rabastan Lestrange. 

▹▹▹

A/N: I already know that you're all going to hate this. I can't wait to read those comments. But a good thing is that we'll be seeing a lot more of Draco during Half-Blood Prince, which we'll be starting from now on (or maybe not officially until the chapter after next but I'm defining it as starting next chapter).