I'm slipping, do you see me falling?
I'm drifting, can you hear me calling?
I'm drowning, are you still breathing?
I'm suffocating, is your heart still beating?
***

"Katie, what the hell? What are you doing?" Alice asked, trying to make sense of what was going on. Katie was supposed to be at work til morning. Though too busy scrubbing her hands, Katie hadn't answered. Alice could see the steam from the water, and fed up, she reached over, shutting it off. "Dammit, Katie, answer me!"

"He came to my work. I went back with him. I couldn't.... couldn't help it. I...I love him," Katie stammered, looking lost. "He said he would kill himself, Alice! I had to go."

"Fuck! Katie, he's using you. I know you think you have feelings for him, but that isn't love. People don't hit the ones they love! Did he hurt you? Are you okay?" Alice glanced her over, searching for any signs of an injury. She reached for Katie's hands, taking them into hers.

"Alice, Stop!" Katie shoved her away. "I'm fine! I don't need your smothering"

"Smothering? Katie? Are you serious, right now? You come home, washing blood off your hands, and say you're fine? Even after coming home from him!" She ranted. "Every time he leaves you broken and hurt. And guess who has to clean up his messes? I do! So. Don't. Don't you dare say I am smothering you! Every time, I have to rebuild your confidence. And just when it gets all put back together he comes back!" Alice yelled.

She couldn't take it anymore. Katie's her best friend and should be there for her, but sometimes a person could only go so far. Was it bad of her to feel this way? She didn't know. However, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Alice knew all about that. She was an expert, in fact.

"Damn it, Alice! He's dead okay? I fucking shot him! Are you happy now? That's what hell happened! He was going to kill me. Somehow.... I managed to get the gun away... And, I shot him! So much blood. How could someone so heartless, have so much blood?" She began crying. Sobs wracking her body as she gasped in air. " I... killed...a man... Alice. He's gone... really, really gone..." She fell to her knees, her head rested against the cold laminated floor.

"Katie. Shit." Alice dropped down beside her, wrapping her into her arms. Holding her trembling body. She seemed so fragile. How could she have killed someone? Guilt ate at her, for what she had said earlier, for what she'd thought. The man had it coming, didn't he? She tried to sooth Katie, running her hands through her hair and whispering, "It's okay."

Katie was so small, like a child. Alice clung on to her for the rest of the night, wondering what they were going to do. How were they going to get through this? It felt surreal- like out of body experience. But she knew she couldn't leave Katie alone in this. Her friend needed her. And just like Katie was there when she needed her to be, she was going to stand by her.

As Katie slept in her arms, she kept thinking of what she'd do. They couldn't call the police. Jackson was a policeman. He had all of them fooled. They'd never believe Katie. The morning light had started to come through the window above the sink as dawn approached. The light glow showed stains on the walls that Alice never noticed before. Maybe she never cared to take time to notice before. But as it were, everything always comes back to the small details and builds from there. If she'd seen the signs, maybe she could've prevented this. She took in the dingy smudges. Darker in color than the surrounding white walls. She noticed how it started in the center and reached outwards.

She felt helpless. As powerless as those walls were. They were stained, forever. Like her. She wasn't broken, just altered. The blot had become part of her. Shaped her into the person she was. Taking in a long, deep breath, she slowly let it out. Though nerves and anxiety pulled at her heart, she knew she had no choice but to steel herself.

Having no one to turn to except for one, she grabbed her phone, with shaky hands, calling the one person who came to mind.

"Hello, it's Eric."