"Lan Zhan!" I follow his trails and even though I knew it's in vain I still hoped that he could hear my voice.

Burial Mountain.

He's kneeling on the charred ground, frozen, unblinking at his palms, where seconds ago he had held my Red Ribbon, were now scattered into ashes in the thin air.

I reminisce our conversation outside Yunping City where he gave me the Red Hairpin. It was this very moment he had described and even though I was aware of the pain he'd been through, I never realised the intricacies of it.

My reverie is broken when I hear his wail. Lan Zhan who was silent as a still water now had waves of emotions coursing through him. Clawing through the mud like a mad man, he was trying to find any remnants of mine.

Something.

Anything.

Hours later giving up on his search, he dragged his exhausted body out of the Burial Mountain. His fingernails were broken. His skin was bleeding. I have never seen Lan Zhan in disarray but here was the man who came to mean so much to me, a shell of who he was. His eyes which I have always fell in love with looked so lifeless.

Probably for the very first time I was truly scared for his sanity.

What have you done Wei Ying!?

I watch him enter a liquor shop. I watch him buy Gusu's Emperor Smile. I watch him drink every single drop. I watch him look at the moon. I watch sigh. I watch him cry.

All I can do is just watch.

Trudging back to Cloud Recess he drags his lifeless soul to a storage room where he tries to find something frantically. Trashing around all the contents, he finally stills when his fingers curl around an iron object. On closer inspection I realise it is the same rod from the Wen Clan that marred my chest. A burst of energy fuels his body and he quickly strides towards the kitchen which is remains abandoned at this hour. He lights a fire and places the iron rod in the heat. Once satisfied he watches the red embers blazing the iron and to my horror it was his smile that made me realise what he was going to do! The scar on Lan Zhan's chest is from this very moment.

No!!!

No Lan Zhan!!!

I scream.

I try to hold his wrist but I was unable to and in the next moment the rod is placed on the surface of his chest. Marked forever.

It's his grin, his low maniacle laughter, his peaceful eyes that would haunt me forever. He had given up. My Lan Zhan had given up.

"Wei Ying, separated by lifetime, united by a mark" he whispers as a tear escapes his eyes and I close mine.

Lan Zhan.

I hear ZewuJun's scream and my vision fades out.

I watch him quietly sitting on the porch and playing Wangji. It was heart wrenching. I knew my Lan Zhan was quiet. I never realise that he seldom spoke after my life.

I watch him taking care of Sizhui and Jingyi. I watch those two little kids bringing life to his otherwise lonely soul.

I walk around Jingshi to see a freshly written letter lying on his desk. I pick it up and reading them, my knees buckle and I fall.

Dear Wei,

Are you happy where you are? Are you finally at peace? Are you contented living a life you always wished to live? I hope you're happy. I hope you're being treated well.

Do you still remember me? Would you remember me? Have I meant something to you?

You meant everything to me. You are everything to me. There hasn't been a day since I haven't thought about you. Did I ever have a chance to tell you that I still remember the day we lit those lanterns together? Did I ever have the chance to tell you that I was ecstatic when you were stuck with me in the Library Pavillion? Or that we were together in Muaxi Mountain?

I never did get a chance to tell you.

I love you.

Always and Forever.

Your,
Lan Zhan.

Pain shoots through me as I see Lan Zhan entering the bed chamber. Removing his robes, his back facing me, I see the numerous scars on his back. Every 33 of them. Slowly walking towards him I trace those lines and he whispers "Wei Ying" and my hand stills. Can he feel me? But I was wrong.

He takes out an old Red Ribbon and caresses it. Placing it under his lips he kisses the Red Ribbon and falls on the ground, crying in a fetal position.

His pain was too much to bear.

I am sorry Lan Zhan.

The vision right now has me sitting under the Peony Tree and him playing Wangji. But that wasn't what has me in tears. It was his song. As he plays the last chords he looks up and his tear appears to be the colour of mercury.

"Wei Ying this is for you. It's called Bu Wang".

He closes his eyes and I feel drops of blood fall on my palm.

Blackness surrounds me and my vision fades.

Coughing I wheeze back to the present. My vision blurs a little as I clutch my chest. I crawl on my knees and head to burn another incense. Need one more. Just...one...

I black out.

I look around and I realise it has been quite a while since I was unconscious. I cringe at my body pain but soon I remisince the pain Lan Zhan has been through.

Wiping my tears, I observe the caked up dried blood. Shaking myself I walking towards the room where the tub is placed. Washing the grim and dirt I realise that there is something I need to do.

For Lan Zhan even if I have to go back to the past I would do so.

Once all cleaned up, with a mission in my mind, I stride towards Lan Zhan. Minutes later I find him in the field training the disciples in sword fighting. I stop in my tracks as I watch my heart standing with the poise he is born with. Uncaring towards the crowd in front of me, I amble my way and he turns to look at me perplexed and before he or anyone else could react, I cup his face and kiss his lips.

Faint gasps resonates around as I whisper in his ears "I need to leave but I'll be back soon. Don't wait up for me tonight". Kissing his forehead with another lingering look, I leave him behind.

I am sorry Lan Zhan.

I love you.