Dear Wei,

To say that I missed you would be an understatement, my Wei Ying.

3285 days without you and counting more.

Your,
Lan Zhan.

"Hanguang-Jun" the kind spirit bows and I admire her patience. Every night I summon her and promptly she answers my questions. They never vary, they're the same and so are her replies.

"Did you find him?" I ask.

"No" she humbly replies, "is there anything else?" She questions and I hesitate.

"I found out recently that, there has been few instances where resentful energies have been used, could you find the source?"

She bows and a minute later she appears "I am unable to find the source, but I can assure you that, it is not the diabolical king" hearing that my heart hurts.

"Did you expect it to be him?" She enquires softly and I look away.

"Would it be wrong if somewhere I hoped it could have been him?" turning back towards her, my voice breaks down "If there was a way to bring him back, I would have him any way I could".

"Hanguang-Jun" she whispers and I nod. She disappears and I take out my precious Wei's red ribbon. Every thread of the ribbon now would be personally aware of my touch. There hasn't been a day when the ribbon hasn't been by my side.

This ribbon has heard various confessions of my heart, words as well as emotions. Bringing it to my lips, I kiss it with my UNTAMED emotions.

My Wei Ying.

I hear a snap of a twig and turn around "Who is there?"

A small figure comes out of the shadow from behind the tree and makes himself known "Hanguang-Jun, it's me" says a timid voice.

"Sizhui?"

"Yes"

He walks closer to me and I quickly hide the ribbon inside my cloak. If he notices, he doesn't say anything.

"Why are you here?" He shouldn't be here. Not at this hour. Not when I am playing my Inquiry.

"I..." he stutters "I am sorry Hanguang-Jun, I was walking by Jingshi and heard your Zither, I couldn't contain my happiness to meet you" he pauses and looks down "You have been away for past few months and it has not been the same without you here".

He looks up and I realise, he has been crying "I missed you so much".

A true confession.

A warm breeze blows and his tresses play with his band and I realise, his hair has grown too. It has been quite long, hasn't it?

I gesture him to walk with me and we sit on the patio, facing the small pond built by Jingyi and Sizhui. The peony tree sprinkles it's petals on us gently.

"How have you been?" I enquire and he nods "Not getting into any trouble" he smiles "can't say the same of Jingyi, though" he laughs lightly and I smile inwardly.

"Hanguang-Jun?"

"Hm?"

"You missed brother Lan Lei's wedding" he states and I look at the rabbits playing around.

"Hm"

"Elder Lan officiated their wedding, his wife looks pretty" and I look at Sizhui and he blushes.

"Hm"

"Everyone around here said that brother Lan Lei is very lucky, he got to marry the person he loves" he smiles at one of the rabbit tickling his feet.

Indeed it is fortunate to spend the rest of your life with the person whom you love the most.

Wei Ying.

"Hanguang-Jun?"

"Hm?"

"What is love?" He questions innocently and I look at his enquiring eyes. What do I say? How should I answer?

"I don't know" I simply state and his eyes change, the curiosity turns into sadness and that is something I can't accept.

"Love has no definition, Sizhui" I look at his glittering eyes and wipe his tears gently "it's what you feel here" I place my palm on my  scar above my heart. Irony, huh Wei.

"Hanguang-Jun?"

"Hm"

"Have you ever loved anyone?" His question is filled with innocence and I know he has asked me this before too.

What I feel for Wei Ying, is beyond love Sizhui. I don't love that soul, he 'is' my soul.

"I don't know" I answer him honestly "I don't know if I have ever loved someone. When it comes to the matters of feelings, I don't think, I am quite the right person to answer"

(A/n: If you're not the right person to answer, Lan Zhan, then I don't know who would be able to answer this question)

"Hanguang-Jun?"

"Hm?"

"What about my love for you or Jingyi?" He blinks and I blink back.

This is unexpected.

"That's for you to decide"

He nods and jumps from the patio, picks up the rabbit and caresses it softly bringing it to his nose and I am bombarded with a nostalgic memory from my past.

Wei and his rabbit. He held it the same way.

"Hanguang-Jun, for you, I feel the love, what a child would have for his father" he grins "and Jingyi, well he is annoying".

Placing the rabbit on the ground, he waves me a goodbye "don't be away for too long, Hanguang-Jun, we all miss you".

As he turns to leave but he stops and walks back to where I am sitting "Hanguang-Jun?"

"Hm"

"The music you played just before I entered Jingshi, was so beautiful, could you teach me? I too would love to play just like you did!" he grins and my heart falls.

No Sizhui, I don't want you to ever learn this piece. Never. This piece I wish no one ever knew. This longing, this pain, this wait, let it perish with me.

"Did you ever love me, Wei?" I wait for and anwer but receive none.

Let Go!

That's what you asked from me. I could not back then. I cannot now. I can never in the future.

(A/n: the days were calculated with the help of Google).