The fantasy lasted with Tony until the end of March. Days and weeks passed by in the blink of an eye, spending the daylight hours apart and evening hours together, the couple fell into a comfortable routine, happy with their relationship.

Peter had done a good job at keeping his lips sealed so far, even managing to get through an entire party at Tony's place without spilling his secret. Of course, Sasha held up her end of the bargain, too, acting like she was also clueless whenever Spider-Man flashed up on the news.

Everyone at work knew that she was friends with Tony Stark after bringing him to the Christmas party, and so naturally directed any superhero-related questions towards her. After a while, Sasha became used to reeling off the same spiel about how little she really knew about The Avengers, which was actually true the more she thought about it.

Sasha knew Tony worked on crazy technology and occasionally fought beings from their world and from others, but that was no more information than anyone with a television or internet access could find out.

She took what Tony told her at face value, soon realising that she wouldn't really understand what he was talking about anyway, and deciding that ignorance was bliss when it came to the gritty details of what Tony put himself through at work.

That was, until Sasha's worst nightmare slipped from her sleep-fuelled imagination and into the real world.

"What is it?"

Sasha sighed and placed down her wine glass on the kitchen counter. Tony was slicing vegetables on a chopping board, his glass empty beside the knife block.

It was eight-thirty on a Monday evening and Tony had called round to spend the night with Sasha, picking up the ingredients for them to cook lasagna together on his was across town. 

It took Sasha less than two minutes to notice that Tony wasn't his normal self. His smile wasn't genuine and his excitement was feigned, the tone of voice he spoke in wasn't as cheerful as it usually was and his eyes were dull, avoiding looking into her own whenever they spoke.

"What?" Tony replied, containing to prepare the vegetables.

"You," Sasha continued, leaning against the kitchen island with her arms folded at her chest, "Something's wrong, I can tell. What is it?"

Despite trying her best to let Tony get whatever was on his mind off it on his own terms, the silence as they cooked together only made her stomach sink deeper and her thoughts drive faster.

Tony glanced up at Sasha for a brief moment before looking back down, "Nothing."

Without hesitation, Sasha placed her hand on top of Tony's, pressing the knife down onto the chopping board and forcing him to stop what he was doing.

He froze, swallowing once as he stared down at the counter, his breaths long and deep, shoulders rising and falling as he wondered how he was going to tell Sasha what was bothering him.

He had been putting off breaking the news to Sasha ever since he'd found out, which had only been four days, but he'd not had chance to see her over the weekend because of work, meaning that it was easier to fake everything being fine over a phone call or a text message.

Tony felt guilt rise in his chest and throat, his hands sweating against the marble countertop and his mind struggling to think of the best way to tell Sasha the news, though soon realising that there wasn't any way he could sugarcoat what he needed to say.

"Hey," she said quietly, placing a hand on his cheek gently and turning his head to face her, a soft smile on her lips and her blue eyes pale and inviting, making Tony feel safe as she touched him, "Whatever it is, maybe I can help. Just talk to me, Tony."

He felt his heart throb inside his chest as he looked at her, knowing that what he was about to say would rip the soul from her bones and drain any resilience she had left inside of her.

"No," he whispered, shaking his head with a clenched jaw, "I'm sorry, Sasha."

Her hand instantly fell away from his face, her mind automatically jumping to an unfaithful conclusion that made her want to throw up her insides repeatedly.

Tony watched as Sasha took a step back from him in horror, her eyes looking not angry, but hurt, despite her assumption being incorrect.

"Y-you didn't, please tell me that you-"

"No," Tony said again, inhaling deeply before speaking, "I, we, The Avengers, all this work we've been doing over the past couple months, it's all leading up to this."

"And what is this?" Sasha pressed, her brows furrowed as she stayed stood a few feet away from Tony.

He paused for a moment, "The next mission we have, it's not in New York, or even the States, not this time. Do you remember that time I threw that nuke through that giant hole in the sky?"

Sasha immediately turned away from him, a hand over her mouth as she realised what it was Tony was actually telling her, the reality being far worse than her initial assumption.

The idea of Tony disappearing from their world and doing God knows what, God knows where, made Sasha feel like she couldn't breathe. She knew all too well why Tony was telling her, and why he'd been so hesitant to speak the news out loud, knowing that the fact he couldn't promise his safety and probably didn't bank on it would ruin her from the inside out.

And he stood and watched it happen.

Sasha sunk down onto the sofa, saying nothing. She felt her chest tighten and her body weaken, her eyes filled with salty tears as she thought about the one thing she'd been terrified of when she first realised she enjoyed having Tony Stark in her life, and that was to lose him like she'd lost everyone and everything else.

With a shaky hand, Tony approached Sasha and touched her shoulder, only for her to shrug it away.

"I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to go but, I signed up for this when I put on that suit. I have to protect this world, I have to protect you."

Sasha's bottom lip quivered as she felt the first few tears fall down her cheeks, shaking her head at Tony's words as he tried his best to comfort her, though there was really nothing he could say or do to calm her down.

"To protect me, Tony, you have to protect yourself. I can't- I just can't go through this again, I can't deal with it" Sasha jumped to her feet and began to pace in front of the windows. The sky was black now the sun had set and she looked like a ghost in the dim lighting, her hands clawing at her face as she cried.

Tony stayed stood by the sofa, his hands in his pockets.

"Sasha, y-you knew what I did as a job. I know that you worry and I get it but you knew there would always be this risk, you knew-"

"Shut up."

"Excuse me?" Tony raised an eyebrow, staring at Sasha who had eventually stopped pacing and was now glaring at him from across the room, the full moon hanging low behind her from forty stories in the sky.

"I didn't plan on this. I didn't meet you and know this would happen. I never thought in a million years we'd be in this position and yes, I knew what I was getting myself in to, but I'm sorry for reacting this way when the man I love tells me there's a chance he might not come back the next time he leaves me."

Tony said nothing. Neither of them had said that they loved the other, despite both of them holding the words back with everything they had.

Tony hadn't found the right moment and quite frankly was scared that deep down Sasha didn't feel the same, that she wasn't ready for him to say such heavy words to her, understanding how much of a big deal a relationship was to her, especially theirs.

Sasha had been in love with Tony since the night of her work Christmas party. The way he looked at her was the way all girls wanted to be looked at, and was the first time she truly noticed that he saw her in a different way than he did when they'd first met. She never wanted to feel anything other than the way she did inside when they danced together that evening, knowing then that whether it was unrequited or not, she was in love with him.

Though the fear of losing him made her bite her tongue for the longest time, scared that telling Tony she loved him would bring him an ill-fate like it had done to the other people closest to her in her life.

"I, I have to go, Sash."

With her eyes squeezed tightly shut, Sasha just nodded, turning her back on Tony to face the windows instead, looking past their reflection out into the sky, now hating something she once loved so much, knowing it would swallow the only thing that made her feel alive.

Tony wasn't sure what to do, but after a few seconds, he impulsively walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder, kissing her neck softly.

Sasha was shaking inside his arms as they stared out at the city, both of their minds thinking different things but ultimately coming to the same conclusion, that they could lose the thing they loved the most.

Tony's heart had broken as soon as The Avengers made the decision to carry out their job in outer space, but he wasn't prepared for it to break all over again when he watched Sasha go through the same pain right in front of his very eyes.

"I can't promise what you want me to," he said, his voice shaky and rough as his lips were just centimetres from her ear, "I wish I could, but I can't."

"I know." She whispered back, her arms still folded at her chest as he squeezed her body against his, feeling the tears from her eyes fall against his own cheek, hearing her soft cries that were so gentle he didn't realise could cause him so much pain.

"I just want you to know that I," Tony drew in a deep breath as the words were on the tip of his tongue, watching Sasha's eyes flicked up to look at his reflection instead of the cars and people below them, "That I love you, Sasha. I'm in love with you, and what I can promise is that there isn't anything I won't do to try and make sure I come home to you safely."

Sasha began to cry harder then, her body crumbling in Tony's arms as he spun her around and caught her, holding her up against him and pressing his lips through her hair, his own eyes growing glassy with tears as the sound of her crying shook his bones.

He said nothing as he held her, knowing no words could make her feel any better, but the only thing that could help even a tiny bit was just being with her.

Tony could tell her cries were that of anger and frustration with upset and heartbreak forcing their way from her eyes at the same time. She resented Tony for what he'd told her, but had known in the back of her mind that there would come a day where the possibility of him not coming home would become a reality and not just a hypothetical nightmare that kept her awake at night.

Most of all, Sasha sobbed because she was in love. She loved Tony like the stars and moon loved nighttime and how the sunshine loved the day, like he was everything and more she could ever want or need, like without him, she was simply a soul on a planet she didn't wish to walk on any longer.

The idea of living through the love of someone else and not herself had always been something Sasha never thought she'd subject herself to, deciding that loving herself was the greatest and safest gift she could give, but that had been before she'd met Tony.

He'd changed the way she saw love and commitment, the way she judged risks and excitement, possibilities instead of expectations, to have and to keep instead of to have and let go, that not every story has to have a bad ending, and that writing it yourself might just be the most fun a person could ever have.

"I need you," Sasha eventually mumbled, her hands hanging onto the fabric of his sweater as she looked up into his warm eyes, "I don't want to need anyone, but I need you."

Tony scoffed with a sad smile, brushing strands of dark hair from her face and caressing the skin on her cheek with his thumb before pressing a soft kiss to her lips, feeling more tears fall from her eyes as he kissed her.

"What if I told you that I need you too?" He replied, looking down at her.

"I'd say you were crazy."

Tony pulled his lips to the side in a subtle smirk, shaking his head once, "Wrong. You are the reason I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face. You're the reason I want to work hard, want to keep this world safe. You're the reason I like spending my Friday nights in Irish bars now, and why I can't go twenty four hours without watching those God damned reality TV shows."

They both laughed through tears, admittedly Sasha's vision more blurry than Tony's, though her smile made her feel like her mind was slowly levelling out again.

"You might need me, but I need you just as much. I love you. I've wanted to tell you for so long because I've never felt like this before, never in my life, and if you think that I won't do everything in my power to make sure I can keep hold of this feeling, and of you, until the end of all time, you are sorely mistaken, Coulson."

Sasha buried her head into Tony's chest, her cheeks flushing bright red at his words and even though she'd technically admitted her love for him, he was still waiting for her to say it back.

She had never imagined she'd hear Tony Stark confess his love for her, and Sasha had also never imagined that the day she finally saw the world clearly would be the day Tony did confess his love for her.

Sasha knew that nice apartments and fast cars were something to be proud of, especially as a woman living alone. Being a woman in love, however, had totally shifted her conscience and untangled the view she had on the world and on her own life.

She looked up at Tony with a soft smile on her lips, one hand on the side of his neck and the other on his cheek, wiping away a scattering of tears from his skin, his beard rough against her fingers, though she longed to feel every part of him forever.

"I've wanted to tell you for a long time, too."

Tony smirked and tilted his head, "Tell me what?"

Rolling her eyes, Sasha laughed and shook her head before fixing her gaze back on the man before her, becoming suddenly sensitive to the weight of his hands on her waist the same way she was when they'd danced together for the first time and the way she'd longed for the sensation when she'd fixed his tie for him in his apartment before that.

"That I'm in love with you, that I love you, Tony."

Playing it cool was something that came as a second nature to Tony Stark, though there was no hiding the smile that broke out onto his lips as he heard Sasha say those words, pausing to take it all in for a moment with glowing cheeks and bright eyes before kissing her hard.

Not making it home was simply crossed off the list of outcomes, Tony realising then that he had his entire world right where he wanted it, and that saving the world he just happened to live in was the only option he had.

an;;
crying sobbing weeping I want a Tony for myself :((((
hope you enjoyed this chapter guys, thank you for over 20K omg!!!!