Sasha was frantically racing around her apartment in search of a bracelet she'd misplaced, the minutes on the clock seemingly flying by far faster they they should, only continuing to make her later and later for the Christmas party.

Along with her team, Sasha had won her third court case since Phil's passing, making the festive period a little less cold that year, knowing he would've been incredibly proud of her achievements.

Sasha had been even busier than she'd imagined was possible, spending all her time at work and any spare time she did have in department stores downtown in search of Christmas gifts for Tony.

She wasn't quite sure if they were at the level of buying gifts for one another in their premature relationship, but whether they were together romantically or just as friends, Sasha would've bought him presents regardless.

It was the evening of December 22nd and the entire city outside her apartment windows was covered in thick white snow that reflected the coloured lights that lined the streets and hung in storefronts. It looked magical, but Sasha wasn't looking forward venturing out of the warmth of her home into freezing temperatures in a mini dress and heels.

She slipped on a little red dress with a square neckline that came to just above the knee, though another issue arose when she couldn't reach the zipper to pull it all the way up her back.

"Shit."

Sasha was already thirty minutes late, feeling obliged to stay for drinks after work that night to celebrate winning the court case. One too many Manhattans later and Sasha was attempting to do eyeliner half cut, having to drink two litres of water and eat a turkey sandwich in attempt to sober herself up before Tony's party.

Her phone flashed on the kitchen table showing yet another missed call from Tony, though she didn't have time to call him back as she tied the bracelet she eventually found around her wrist and slipped on her heels.

With all embarrassment she would've normally felt shadowed by the stress of running late, Sasha held her dress up with her hands as she ventured out into the hallway and knocked loudly three times on the front door to her neighbour's apartment.

She hadn't actually met a single person that lived on her floor so far, though she'd been leaving and returning from work at ridiculous hours of the day and night, making the chances of bumping into people quite slim.

"Hi, I'm so sorry to bother you, I live next door and I can't reach the zipper on my dress, would you mind helping me? I'm Sasha, by the way."

Her new neighbour was a dark, curly-haired gentleman who stood tall at around six-foot-four. With dark blue eyes and a five o'clock shadow, Sasha would've normally been far too intimidated to even look in his direction, though the whiskey was still burning hot in her bloodstream at that point.

The man just laughed, a shy smile coming onto his face as he looked down at her, "Sure, no problem. I'm Sean, it's nice to finally meet you, that place has been vacant for a while now."

Sasha breathed with a smile, turning around and pulling her dark hair to the side. He quickly zipped up the back of her dress and she let her curls fall down her back before turning to face him again.

"It's great to meet you too, I've not actually met anyone else yet. Listen, I'm already running late so I better go, thanks for helping me out, I appreciate it."

Sean nodded humbly, his hands lingering on the door handle as Sasha gave him a goodbye smile.

"Not a problem, you look fantastic by the way. I'll see you around."

With flushed cheeks and a grin, Sasha headed down the hallway back towards her apartment, "Thanks, see you."

It was just after nine o'clock when she finally arrived at Tony's place. With a huge, black fur coat being all that shielded her body from the bitter winter elements, she was thankful to be greeted by a doorman and directed straight upstairs.

She hadn't seen Tony in a week because of how busy she'd been with work and although she could feel her heart beating with excitement at the thought of seeing his face, she knew things wouldn't be completely normal.

The two of them had decided not to tell anybody about their relationship, at least not yet. Of course, they had regular dinners together in public and weren't afraid to share a kiss or cling to one another as they walked down the street, but so far, there hadn't been a single article in any newspaper or magazine about them.

Deep down, Sasha was afraid. Loss was something that seemed to follow her around and the idea of losing Tony was too horrendous to even think about, let alone experience. She'd asked him that they keep things between the two of them for the time being, wanting to take things slowly, one step at a time. The last thing Sasha wanted was for the pressure of everybody else knowing about their relationship adding more strain onto something that already worried her in the early hours of the morning when she couldn't sleep.

She pulled her hair from her face that had got caught on her pale lipgloss, taking in a deep breath before walking into the party, a bottle of expensive champagne in her hand and a subtle smile on her face.

"Look who finally decided to show up!"

To her surprise, Nick Fury was the first person to greet her. He approached her with open arms and a huge, genuine smile that immediately warmed her heart.

She remembered a time before they'd met that Phil had told her how intimidating Fury was, though Sasha had never felt more accepted and welcomed by anybody in her life, thankful to have had his support in the days after losing her brother.

"Hey, it's good to see you, it's been so long!"

Fury pulled Sasha into a tight embrace, holding her at arms length afterwards to take a look at her properly before kissing her on both cheeks, his smile never fading.

"God, you look beautiful. How are you doing? I'm so sorry I haven't been around more, but I heard Stark and the guys been keeping you company, is that right?"

Sasha nodded, "Thank you. Yeah they have, they're good people to have around, I'm really grateful."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. Congratulations on winning another case by the way, I saw you on TV earlier this week, you're doing a good job, kid."

Validation had always fuelled Sasha and although being that way hadn't always been the most helpful, it gave her an incredible amount of pride and happiness to hear that she was impressing people, that she really was good enough.

"Is that champagne for the host, by any chance?"

Tony appeared out of nowhere, walking towards Sasha and Fury with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a glass of whiskey. He was wearing black jeans and a dark red shirt with the top button undone, shiny dress shoes and a silver watch. His hair was slicked back and Sasha noticed he hadn't shaved in a few days, though she actually preferred him that way.

The smirk on his lips when he laid eyes on Sasha made her heart skip a beat and heat rush to her cheeks, feeling an immense pressure shift at the way his eyes crawled across her body with a devilish hunger behind them.

"I'm getting another drink, I'll see you later, Sasha."

Tony stepped closer once Fury had disappeared, leaving a painfully small gap between the two of them. She wasn't sure whether it was the pure tension or the seven cocktails she'd already drank, but Sasha felt herself enduring a tortuous amount of lust for Tony in that moment, captivated by the scent of his aftershave and the sight of his eyes not being able to look away from her for even a second.

"Every time I see you in a dress I think, 'that's my favourite', and then you wear another one, and that becomes my favourite. How do you keep getting better, hm? Come here."

She didn't hesitate to reach around Tony's neck and give him a tight hug, lingering a little longer than two friends would, but enjoying the kisses he peppered on her cheeks, his lips lingering a little longer they should have, too, though they both hoped nobody would've noticed.

"Drink?" He said, placing a hand on the small of her back and guiding her over to the bar.

She shrugged off her coat and hung it over the back of a barstool, watching as Tony popped the cork from a chilled bottle of champagne with a scowl on his face, cursing as bubbles fizzed over the side of the bottle.

"You know," he said, pouring her a glass and leaning on the bar beside her, just inches away from her face, "If there was nobody else here, I'd have you up against that window for the whole of New York to see. Another time, maybe."

With a wink, Tony walked away, leaving Sasha with nothing but a thought that only frustrated her more, furious at him for doing such things to her knowing that they couldn't so much as touch for at least another five or six hours.

The thing was, Sasha hadn't even slept with Tony yet. It had taken restraint, God, it had taken an inhuman amount of strength to always go back to her own apartment and not to his, but somehow, she'd managed it.

It wasn't because Sasha didn't want to have sex with Tony, because she absolutely did. It was prejudiced and selfish in a way, but the reputation Tony had with women previously had planted a seed of doubt and concern in the back of Sasha's mind. She was worried that if things went south between them, the world would know her as just another one of his one-night stands, which was also another reason to try and keep their relationship on the down low for the time being.

That evening, though, Sasha wasn't sure she'd be able to keep making excuses. As she made her way over to speak to Natasha, she could feel Tony's eyes following her across the room, adding more fuel to a fire inside her that was already burning fiercely hot.

"Hey, come sit down! Congratulations on your case, Tony told me earlier that you won another one."

"Thanks," Sasha grinned and sat down beside Natasha, crossing one leg over the other as she sipped her champagne, "It's been crazy, honestly. Does my eyeliner look OK? We went for drinks after work today and I was still out of it when I got ready to come here, I don't know how I managed it."

Natasha just laughed, nodding reassuringly, "It looks great, don't worry. Although I have no idea how you pulled that off, I can barely do mine sober."

The two of them spent half an hour catching up over multiple glasses of champagne. Sasha could feel herself growing increasingly tipsy, though she ultimately decided that if there was ever a reason to get blackout drunk, her birthday and Christmas being around the corner was the perfect excuse.

They were eventually interrupted by Steve who cleared his throat as he approached the two women with a nervous and apologetic smile.

"Hey, you mind if I talk to Sasha, I'll be real quick, I promise."

Natasha held up her hands in surrender, placing down her empty glass and rising to her feet.

"Say no more, catch you later."

Her seat beside Sasha was swiftly replaced with Steve who threw himself down onto the sofa with a sigh, leaning against the leather with his arm across the back of the couch. He was wearing denim jeans and a white dress shirt with brown shoes and a brown belt, his face clean shaven and his hair shorter than it usually was.

"So," he said with a smile, "How've you been? I heard you got a new place, new car, and you keep winning all these court cases, pretty impressive, I must admit."

Sasha laughed, tilting her head as she looked at Steve, "I'm good, thank you. It's not been easy since losing my home, but I always get through things eventually, this was no different."

Steve nodded, "You do, you remind me of myself in a lot of ways, you know that?"

"I'll take that as a compliment, Steve." She chuckled.

They spent some time chatting about mindless topics, their favourite Christmas movies and songs, whether they preferred turkey or ham on their Christmas dinner, though they both ended up agreeing that the white lights on trees looked nicer than the colourful ones.

It was a strange feeling talking with Steve again. Sasha enjoyed his company, she always had done, but it was nice to have a conversation where there was no pressure. She was glad to have him as a friend, though she was unsure that he'd stay her friend if he found about her and Tony's relationship.

"You look incredible by the way, absolutely beautiful. Red is definitely your colour."

She found herself blushing for the third time that evening, swallowing more champagne to cool the warmth in her cheeks from his words.

It was clear from the way his eyes were ever so slightly narrowed that Steve was flirting with her, though Sasha had absolutely no desire to engage. He was incredibly handsome, that much was obvious, but he wasn't Tony.

A cough from over her shoulder startled the two of them, forcing Steve to pull his eyes away from Sasha and look behind him.

"Sorry, Cap, I gotta steal Miss Coulson for a sec, you mind?"

"No problem," Steve rose to his feet, nodding once at Tony before looking back down at Sasha, "I'll come find you later, we'll have tequilas."

"Sure thing."

Tony stood with his hands in his pockets until Steve had disappeared. Sasha was still sat on the sofa with a raised brow and half a glass of champagne that had gone warm.

"Come with me."

Not having chance to question him, Sasha quickly followed on Tony's heels. The two of them walked out into the corridor and up one flight of stairs to his living room.

He flicked the lights on and went straight over to the bar, pouring himself a large measure of whiskey before throwing in a couple of ice cubes, taking a long swig as he leant against the countertop with a dark glint in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Sasha asked, walking over to the bar and standing on the opposite side, leaning on it with folded arms.

Tony just swallowed, "You see how Rogers was looking at you? He was gonna make a move on you, I know it."

Sasha just rolled her eyes, scoffing quietly with a soft laugh, "So what if he did? You think I'd go there?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. You never end up with me at the end of a night."

A frown fell onto her face and she stood up straight, suddenly feeling sober from the anger that coursed through her body out of nowhere.

"Are you being serious?"

Tony just shook his head, looking down briefly but meeting her gaze with a softer look than he held a moment prior.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it like that, I just worry that you're not sure about us, or that you still have a thing for him and maybe that's why we haven't slept together yet."

Sasha pursed her lips, "You want to know the truth?"

"Always."

With a sigh, Sasha pushed herself up so she was sat on the edge of the bar, taking a gulp of Tony's whiskey before speaking.

"I don't still have feelings for Steve, I'm not sure I ever really did. The reason I haven't slept with you, Tony - and I'm aware how awful this sounds, so I'm sorry - is because I'm scared that if we ended up not being together in the future, I'd be known to the world as just one of your hook-ups."

Tony wasn't an idiot, he knew full well the reputation he held and the way the world saw the women that he'd been involved with. It wasn't always a true reflection on them, though truthfully, he had never cared about anyone else the way he cared about Sasha. He'd never been scared to lose a woman before, though as he looked at the girl sat on the edge of his bar in a pretty red dress, he felt that fear grip hold of his lungs tight enough to make him struggle to breathe for the first time in his life.

He walked around to the other side of the bar, placing his hands on the sides of her thighs as he stood between her legs, staring up at her with warm eyes.

"Hey," he said softly, "I get it, alright, I hear you. I just want you to know that I - and I'm not the best with words, so keep that in mind - I really fuckin' like you, Sasha. I don't ever want you to not be around, and I can tell you now, with undefeated confidence, that I would never, ever get tired of seeing your face or hearing your voice, and I would definitely never get tired of making sweet, sweet love to you, alright?"

The two of them shared a quiet laugh, Sasha's tense heart rate settling as she felt him grip her thighs reassuringly, his eyes calming her soul in a way only he ever could.

"I've never felt like this before, and I don't really know what I'm doing in all honesty, but there's nobody else I'd rather work it all out with. Now, can you please give me a kiss? I don't think I can go any longer without one."

Sasha smiled, placing her hands on the sides of his face and kissing him softly. She felt him pull her from the edge of the bar, her legs wrapping around his body instinctively as he carried her across the room, though never breaking the kiss once.

Sasha gasped as she felt the coolness of a window against her back, her eyes falling open at the shock, only to see Tony's face smirking back at her, his eyes sleek and narrowed.

"I know it's your birthday tomorrow, but how about an early gift, what do you say? Could be one for the whole of New York, too, these windows are fuckin' huge."