"Tony what the fuck!"

Sasha leapt out of her bed with a shriek when she opened her eyes and saw Tony sat in an armchair by the window of her hotel room.

He screamed back in retaliation, laughing to himself as he watched her place a hand on her chest to calm her heart rate once she realised that he wasn't an actual intruder.

"What the hell are you doing in my hotel room? How did you get in here?"

Sitting back down on the edge of the bed, Sasha ran her fingers through her hair, combing out the knots from a restless nights sleep. Her eyes felt heavy and her mind clouded, almost like she'd not slept at all, though she clearly had since she had no memory of Tony coming into her room.

"I got here late last night, you remember I called you? I met your colleague, Carter, down in the lobby. He told me you'd gone to bed early and you'd asked him to give me the key when I arrived."

Tony hadn't slept all night. He'd been sat in the uncomfortable armchair by the window for six hours while Sasha tossed and turned in bed. He'd tried to fall asleep but anxiety in the pit of his stomach made it impossible for him to relax enough to drift off, meaning he had little to do until Sasha finally opened her eyes.

"Right, yeah," Sasha sighed, rubbing her hands over her face with a yawn, "I'm sorry. I forgot, my mind is kinda all over the place right now."

Tony just shook his head, rising to his feet, "It's alright. Listen I'm gonna go downstairs and grab us a couple of coffees, why don't you get a shower, alright? I'll be back soon."

Taking his suggestion, Sasha jumped into the shower once Tony had left. She felt strangely numb, despite the devastating and quite frankly life-changing news that had hit her yesterday.

Sasha wasn't sure whether it was her subconscious way of coping to shut off her emotions and filter out any feeling whenever something traumatising happened to her, but that seemed to be the case each time it had happened before.

She rinsed away the stress of yesterday and pulled on some clean clothes, tying her hair up into a ponytail and cleaning her face, getting rid of the mascara stains from beneath her eyes.

The Fall weather and lack of sunshine has lightened her skin, making almost all of the freckles on her face disappear. She looked pale, tired and defeated, almost unable to recognise herself as she gazed at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Sasha had never been one to give up, but it seemed like the universe kept throwing obstacles into her path and although she prided herself on overcoming every single one, she wasn't sure how much more loss she could take.

"One Americano, no milk. You look like you need all the caffeine you can get, no offence. And a croissant, you need to eat."

Tony placed down two cups of coffee and two pastries on the table by the window, sitting down in the chair opposite Sasha. She had her legs pulled up under her chin and her arms wrapped around herself, staring out at the ocean.

He sighed, tilting his head to try and catch her eye, "Hey, let's finish this and go for a walk, sound good?"

Sasha eventually gave him a weak smile before taking a sip of her coffee. He could see the ruin behind her eyes and it made his heart hurt inside his chest, wishing he could only ever see her with a smile on her face.

The two of them finished their breakfast and headed out of the hotel, walking down a beaten track towards the beach. Sasha was wrapped in a black fur coat and grey scarf while Tony pretended he wasn't cold in the face of the sea breeze with just a jacket.

It was a bleak and miserable day in Maine that morning, a dull mist had cast across the entire coastline and clouds covered the sky, turning the whole place grey. It was quiet, only a handful of other people were walking along the beach at the same time, the only sound being the gentle crashing of the waves on the sand beneath their feet.

Sasha sighed and linked her arm through Tony's resting her head on his shoulder as they walked. He felt his insides freeze for a moment, shocked at how suddenly tactile she was being, though he soon became warm again, stealing a quick glance down at her with a firm smile on his lips.

"You alright? Talk to me."

"What am I going to do, Tony? My entire life is gone, all my memories, everything, it's gone. What do I have now? Where am I going to live?"

"Well, you can always sleep at your office? You practically live there anyway since-"

Sasha gave Tony a hard nudge in the side, sending him stumbling slightly with a smirk on his face. He looked down at her again and saw her cheeks lifted, a tiny smile on her lips.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he continued, "Look I've got plenty of room, you're more than welcome to stay at the tower for a while."

Sasha stayed silent, sniffling quietly as they continued to follow the shoreline towards the next town.

"I was thinking of moving here, you know? Before all of this even happened. It's peaceful here, calm. I like it. Maybe it's the right thing to do."

"What? You want to leave New York?"

Tony suddenly felt hollow. Although he only sometimes saw Sasha once a week, the idea of her being gone from his life pretty much completely made him feel empty inside. She was perhaps the only person that ever truly listened to him, she made him laugh and put him at ease. She brought his head back down from the clouds when it sometimes felt like he'd gotten stuck up there. Sasha kept Tony sane, and he'd not realised it until he pictured how his life would be without her in it.

Sasha shrugged, "I think I need a fresh start, especially now. I think I should've done it after Phil passed but I had so much to sort out with his funeral and the apartment and all his belongings, leaving town was never an option. Now though, I don't even have anything to go back for."

Tony swallowed. He knew her words didn't mean to hurt him but they still did, feeling like they were severing each of his nerves one by one.

"What about, uhm, Steve? You guys are just," he cleared his throat, his voice slightly shaky, "You're great together."

She drew in a long breath, "Steve is great. We get along so good and yeah, I like the guy, but he works so much and I work so much and I just don't get that-"

"Feeling?"

Sasha looked up at Tony, holding her breath when she met his gaze through a pair of red-lensed glasses. His eyes soothed her soul, reminding her of a warm fire in the coldest of winters. She felt at home when he looked at him, she felt safe, a feeling that she'd never experienced when she'd looked at anybody before.

"Exactly."

"Well, you know," Tony forced himself to look away from Sasha, scared at the sudden drop in his stomach that he'd fall into another moment like the one they'd shared a few weeks prior, "I think you should just stay at my place for a while, just see what you think, how you feel. And then, if you really want to leave..." He sighed, kissing his teeth, "I probably still won't let you."

Sasha laughed quietly, squeezing Tony's arm tighter. She'd forgotten all about their small argument a few weeks ago, happy in that moment that he had dropped everything to come and make sure she was OK. She wasn't sure that she'd ever had a friend or even boyfriend that would've done the same for her in the past, grateful then for crossing paths with Tony Stark.

"But what if it's best for me? A new place, no memories tied to it. New people, faces, nobody knows me or my life, I wouldn't have to be the girl that lost everything and everyone."

Tony stopped in his tracks, halting the two of them to a standstill in the middle of the beach. He looked at her head on, though her arm was still clinging to his.

"Your past doesn't define you, you know that, right? You can choose how you define yourself, whether that's in New York or not. And if I'm being selfish here, Coulson," Tony let out a sigh, shrugging his shoulders, "You make me a better person. You keep me grounded, you make me laugh, take my mind off all the dark shit that doesn't seem to go away unless I'm with you. I've figured out that I need you in my life, I don't want you to move here, I don't want to not have you close by. Things won't make sense to me anymore if you go."

Sasha's lips remained sealed as she looked up at him. That time, Tony couldn't bring himself to look away. Her pale skin was almost like the sand and her eyes like the sea behind them, full of hope but drenched in sadness.

He knew deep down that she couldn't cope by herself, and he didn't want her to. Tony wanted to be there for Sasha whenever he could, he loved being the person she called on whether she was in need or on top of the world. He'd managed to get a taste for being her number one for a few months, their friendship blossoming into something perfect, though a taste wasn't enough for Tony, he wanted it for life.

Just as he had feared not a few minutes before, Tony felt the same twist in his gut as he looked at Sasha. He could feel the heat of her hand on his bicep through the material of his jacket and he could almost see the millions of thoughts inside her head, just from the way her eyes were ever so slightly glazed over.

She looked beautiful when a gentle breeze blew, a few loose strands of hair covered her face and pulled tiny droplets from her eyes. Her cheeks were red from the cold and her lips were too, the hollows of her cheeks grey like the scarf that covered her neck.

Sasha looked like she belonged by the ocean in that moment. She looked at peace, her complexion matching the overcast skies above the town. Though Tony knew in his gut that she didn't belong anywhere that he wasn't. Regardless of only knowing each other for a matter of months, he believed that fate was at play when it came to placing the two of them in the cemetery at the same time, and as he looked down at her that day with the tide creeping in slowly, he had never been more grateful for anything in his life.

"Tony," Sasha said quietly, her voice soft like the folding of silk, "I am so thankful to have met you, and I honestly don't think I'd have made it through these past few months without you. You really don't have any idea how much brighter you've made my life, and I don't think I'll ever be-"

"So don't go."

Tony interjected abruptly, cutting Sasha off in the middle of her sentence, forcing her to look him in the eyes again. He pulled off his glasses and clenched his jaw, feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiousness in his stomach.

He felt as though he couldn't breathe, his entire body had turned into something weightless. Despite having what looked like a scene from an Oscar-winning best picture in the background of his vision, it was the woman stood before him that had taken his breath away, feeling as though there wasn't anything quite as beautiful on earth than her.

The returning urge to kiss Sasha the same way he'd wanted to before his party a few weeks ago was the only thing reminding Tony that he was awake and not dreaming. The feeling was soul-consuming and made him unable to think of anything else but the way he'd imagine reaching heaven would be like once he finally kissed her, though the weight of a friendship was keeping his feet firmly planted on the ground.

"You really want me to stay that bad, huh?" Sasha smiled at him, sliding her hand down his arm into the pocket of his coat and feeling the warmth of his hand. Tony instantly took her hand inside his own, knowing that if he couldn't kiss her, he'd settle for that instead.

With the weight of two different worlds on his shoulders, Tony chewed on the inside of his cheeks, his skin feeling like it was on fire despite being frozen by the Maine coastal winds all morning.

"Yeah," he whispered, squeezing Sasha's hand like it was the only thing keeping him alive, "I really want you to stay that bad."