"You need a ride back into the city? Or are you gonna, you know, fly?" Sasha gestured to the sky with a shouldered laugh as she unlocked her car.

Tony was nervous. He could feel his palms sweating and his heart beating incredibly fast inside his chest. His tongue felt tied and his eyes wild as Sasha stood on the sidewalk, waiting for a response with a raised eyebrow.

"You should let me drive," Tony cleared his throat and pointed to her ribs, "Doctors orders."

Sasha didn't have the energy to argue his point and so tossed him the keys and walked around to the other side of her car, begrudgingly sitting in the passenger seat.

Tony hadn't spoken to Sasha since the day at the hospital, and he'd felt haunted ever since. He had been unable to function properly since losing her and each day felt harder than the last. His world had been tilted off it's axis and as hard as he tried, Tony couldn't get used to walking on a slant, knowing that his life wasn't meant to be that way.

Like Sasha usually did, Tony threw himself into work as a distraction. The inability to sleep meant he spent most of his hours in his workshop, tinkering with things that didn't need changes and breaking things just so he'd have something to fix, something he could fix.

His entire mind and body compelled him to reach out to Sasha. He wanted to text her or call her, drive to The Plaza where she was staying just to see her for a moment, even if she slammed the door in his face. He missed everything about her and felt like even breathing was a chore when before, life felt like walking on water when he had Sasha's hand inside his own.

The others had swiftly talked Tony out of making contact with Sasha. Natasha had been checking on him almost every day, making sure her friend was still eating and drinking enough. She hated seeing him in that way, a broken shell of the man that although infuriated her down to her bones sometimes, she adored.

Nat had repeatedly told Tony to give Sasha space and that if she wanted to talk, she would call. When Tony's phone rang earlier that day, he wasn't sure what type of conversation he'd end up having with Sasha, though he was grateful to hear her voice regardless of the words that were coming from her lips.

Sasha felt strange watching Tony drive her car. The radio was playing Hotel California that was just about audible over the steady purr of the engine when once upon a time, it would've been turned up far louder as they both sang along, laughing at each other getting the lyrics wrong.

Tony drove with one hand barely touching the wheel, his elbow resting on the door below the window and the other on the leather arm rest on the centre console. Before, his hand would've been warming Sasha's thigh, making her blush whenever he tickled her skin with his fingertips or glanced down at her with a smirk that pulled to the side, devious eyes that exposed a mind full of deep imagination.

It felt wrong to be so apart, to not even be touching and to have her legs angled towards the door instead of towards him. Sasha didn't like change, but the change was on her terms, her decision. She was in control, at least.

Tony's knuckles were almost white as he clenched his fist to refrain from placing a hand on Sasha's thigh. It was a natural instinct that he felt take over him as soon as he started the engine, though a sharp tug on his heartstrings made his muscles freeze, keeping his hands to himself while his heart sank to the pit of his stomach.

It was dark when they arrived back into New York. Sasha insisted they drop off Tony first and she'd drive the rest of the way home, Tony agreeing since The Plaza was just a few blocks away.

He parked Sasha's car in the garage below the Stark Tower, sighing as he killed the engine. Sasha unclipped her seatbelt though stayed sat in the passenger seat, waiting for Tony to step out of the car.

"Why don't you come inside? I can make us dinner, bottle of wine?"

Sasha's eyes mellowed at Tony's offer. Hope radiated from him as they turned to look at one another and the golden glow behind his eyes warmed Sasha's insides, though equally tore her emotions to shreds at the same time.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Tony, I'm sorry."

"No, no, I just mean, as friends," he shook his head once and spoke with furrowed brows, "I might not be able to call you my girl anymore but you were my friend first, Coulson, you can't stop me from caring about you."

Sasha felt sick at the intrusive thought of Tony calling another woman his girl. She'd not allowed herself to dance with such dark thoughts that she knew would hurt her since their breakup, though she found herself unable to block them out in that moment.

More began to flood her mind, drawing a lump into her throat as she imagined him kissing someone else, holding them in the middle of the night. She felt her heart seize up imagining Tony looking at another woman the way he looked at her, making her laugh or wiping away her tears when she cried. It made her numb to imagine another girl's world changing when Tony looked into her eyes and whispered that he loved her, a sickening jealousy washing over Sasha that turned her pale.

"Come on," he tilted his head and flashed puppy dog eyes that he knew made Sasha weak, "Nobody else is around, you won't have to talk to anyone. It's just us."

Tony could see Sasha debating an answer in her mind. Her silence drew attention to her loud inner thoughts and the way her eyes were solemnly softened made Tony realise she was feeling something that she didn't want to feel.

Her face was still and her jaw tensed and Tony watched as she swallowed hard once, knowing then that there was a sadness fighting it's way out of Sasha's eyes that she was battling hard to keep at bay.

"I can't," she whispered, shaking her head.

"Why not?"

Sasha inhaled a feeble breath. Tony had turned his body to face her, his arm still resting on the centre console but his eyes fixed on her face, scanning every inch of her with deep concern.

"I have to keep moving forward," she said, "I can't go back because-"

"Because what, Sasha?"

"Because the only person I can truly trust is myself. That's the way it's always been, and that's the way it always should be."

Tony understood, though let out a sheepish chuckle as he continued to press her, "I'm not asking for you to trust me, I'm asking you to let me make you dinner. You've been through so much and as a friend, Sash, I want to try and help, even if it's just cooking for you. That's all, I'm not asking for anything else."

Sasha just sighed. She leant her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, a single tear falling down her cheek.

She had missed Tony greatly though hadn't realised just how much until she found herself in his presence again. The sound of his voice and scent of his aftershave brought back a million different memories that she would've never been able to recall on her own. He had her trapped as if he'd cast a spell, though really, it was just love in its purest of forms.

"You don't get it," Sasha eventually spoke up again, drawing in a long breath as she opened her eyes and glanced to look at Tony, frowning sadly as she did so.

He shrugged his shoulders weakly and stared with slightly parted lips, inquisitive eyes that urged Sasha to continue.

"When I'm with you, Tony, I can't even trust myself. You have this affect on me that's so powerful and I, I have to do what's right for me, what's best. I have to stay in control, I can't afford to let go, not again."

Tony heard Sasha telling him that she still loved him in her own way and as much as it rebuilt his entire world to hear that, his understanding of what she was truly saying brought it all crumbling down around him.

He swallowed once, nodding as he accepted what he'd been told.

"Alright," he said, immediately opening the door and stepping out of the car without saying a single word more.

Sasha mirrored his actions a split second later, catching a glimpse of Tony in the rear view mirror walking away from the car.

"Tony, wait!" She called out, standing around the back of the car as he walked away from her.

Hearing Sasha say his name made his feet freeze, holding him in place. Tony's eyes were blurry as water stained his skin, desperate to get inside and let out all of his emotions alone.

He turned around to take one last look at Sasha through a teary glance. Everything inside of him wanted to take her into his arms and never let her go, wanted to tell her how much he loved her and how sorry he was for everything that had happened. Deep down, though, Tony knew that wouldn't change a thing and would only cause himself more pain.

"I gotta go." Tony said bluntly.

"I'm sorry," Sasha said, now standing a few feet away from him with tears trickling down her own face to match his, "I have to do what's best for me."

Tony's chest felt like it was being wrapped in barbed wire that tightened with every breath, forcing more tears to fall from his eyes. What made things worse was that he agreed with Sasha, knowing that no matter how much he loved her, he could never truly keep her safe.

"Yeah," he whispered, shrugging his shoulders as he spoke in a voice weakened by tears, "You're right. I'm sorry for everything, Sasha. I'm sorry I hurt you, and I hope you can find happiness that you're not afraid of."

Before Sasha could say anything in return, Tony had gone.