I pray that anyone reading this letter never experiences the loss of someone close to you, though my more cynical side understands it to be the fate of every human being. We were never made to handle this much loss, yet we do on a day-to-day basis.

Nevertheless, as I went into my bedroom and laid down on the comforter, I had a difficult time wrapping my mind around the idea that I would never see my family or Rashida again.

Without recalling whether Essa had said it was okay to cry with contacts in or not, I felt my eyes begin to well with tears. The stress of the past few weeks was too much for me to bear. The kidnapping....the surgery....the way my life had changed when my eyes were opened....

Too many things had changed at once. And while adults past the age of twenty-five couldn't cry without the Alhukum deeming them ungrateful, young adults could cry out of stress and anxiety, and I gladly took this opportunity to sob into my pillow. To mourn my old life before I disavowed it forever and learned the full, ugly truth about the institution that had raised me.

My parents didn't know I was still alive. They had been lied to and told that the rebels had murdered me. What if I went to them now? Would they believe I was alive? Would they care?

You will never be able to live with them again, Essa had said. But why would she have said that?

I shook out the thought. There was also the matter of what should happen if I got caught. (Please, I beg the Alhukum to spare them. They have done no wrong. They are still loyal citizens in the cause of Lamae.) I longed so much to tell them the truth—that I was alive and that they didn't have to grieve me any longer—but I couldn't, not if I wanted my life spared.

Not if I wanted theirs spared.

I swallowed as I allowed the water to wash over my face, cleansing my swollen eyes of tears. Tomorrow I would go out and see, without the gray veil over my eyes, what the Alhukum did. Why they blinded us. What they had to gain from it.

And if I had to, I would run early. Early, away from all this horror. Away from the city of Lamae.

▣

I waited for the swelling to dispel from my eyes before I went to bed for the night. I was not keen on looking puffed-up for tomorrow. And as I shut off the light, I thought of the danger I was in once more.

▣

Waking up was difficult because of the softness of my mattress, but I eventually managed it. I got ready for the day as if I were going to a restaurant with my family or visiting Rashida's house, rather than as though I was about to find out why the rebellion against the Alhukum existed in the first place.

What would my reaction be? Essa had made it sound like I would be so horrified I would have difficulty acting rationally. I had known before I received sight that the Alhukum executed anyone who voluntarily went beyond Lamae's borders, or anyone who was sighted. They had always told us that those sorts of people were enemies of the people, that they were dangerous because of their sight.

Whatever it was, Essa was right about one thing: the Alhukum blinded its citizens for a reason.

▣

Lamae's streets were always busiest in the mornings. Adults were going to work, children were going to school, and Alhukum guards were patrolling the area constantly. As this was so, it is very easy to get lost in the crowds, especially if someone is blind.

But if sighted, it is even easier to get spotted, because you can navigate crowds well. Although I had not gone through any special training with Essa, I was a good actor, and continued to act blind as I wandered through the streets near my home. While I would only be here for two days, I really did have no job and no place to go. When the crowd cleared out, what would I do? Everyone in Lamae had a job.

Maybe Aaqil just forgot, I thought, squeezing past several people my age who looked as though they wanted to die from the heat. If I can find him....

But Aaqil was a border-patrol agent, so he likely wouldn't even know what my job was supposed to be. And to probe the records myself, I would have to go to the city hall, where there were many Alhukum who knew exactly what they were doing. They hunted down rebels and dissidents, and would do the same to me if I went there.

It wasn't an option. I'll only be here for a few weeks. Food is delivered each evening. I'll live until I can uncover the truth.

But for the moment, I would do best to follow the crowds to whatever their destinations were.

As I continued along the roadway, waiting for something to happen to indicate that Essa and the rebellion weren't completely mad, a loud shot split my ears in half.

▣

The intercom buzzed a loud message. "All citizens, stand down. A rebel terrorist has shot a civilian. All citizens, stand down. A rebel terrorist has shot a civilian."

This had happened all too often in my lifetime. Like all the other people who before were crowding me, I got to my knees, covering my head with my hands.

But while everyone else cowered in fear, I opened my eyes. Unlike theirs, I was sighted. And before the shot pierced my ears again, I saw Alhukum officers gunning a man down on the street across from us.

◈◈◈

Tell me what you think.... 

● Why do you think the Alhukum is killing its people?

● Do you think the Alhukum would kill her family if Chaima's rebellion was discovered?