"How can you be so dumb that you break a lamp huh!? My father managed to keep it whole for thirty years!"

I stared at the broken pieces and glass spread across the floor. I couldn't get a single word out, not a "sorry," not an excuse.

The scolding turned to empty yelling, I couldn't hear what he was saying anymore. I started shaking and walked towards the door, grabbing a jacket on my way out.

I waked to the backyard, not upset enough to leave the house in pajamas and neon blue flip flops.

My bare legs were shaking in the windy weather, I leaned against one of the white brick walls for support.

I heard seagulls with their penetrating squeaky sounds. They looked so free in the clouded blue sky. They would always travel further in a day than I ever could in a lifetime.

I heard someone talking on the phone having an argument. Beyond a hedge, separating my house from the main town street. I wasn't the only one with problems.

My fingers started to turn white and purple, showing how cold I actually was. I shivered, trying to be grateful that I at least wore a thin jacket. Going out with just a t-shirt and shorts alone would have been too cold. It was cold during the nights too, wearing only that. Even so, my motivation to change didn't seam to be coming around any time soon.

I heard a ticking sound roll by, from over the hedge. It was a cyclist. It left just as quickly as it arrived. That must have been freezing cold, in this weather.

A woman passed by, talking on the phone about depression and suicide. Almost in a professional way, judging on her argumentative tone.

Depression. Looks like I'm not the only one that knows what it means.

For a second, the wind went still. I could hear the small waves from a near by lake. Water was poring from somewhere, moving, in a satisfyingly brisk pace.

Cars passed. The silence broke. It was around the time people drive hime from work. It stirred up the wind, I sniffled.

I would get a cold if I were to stay outside any longer.

A buzz, a dark humming from the sky. I saw a small white plane, reflecting like shining metal from the sun. It passed, slowly. Eventually the motor of a buss took it's place among the many sound waves in the air.

Two woman cycled by. Beyond the dark brown hedge. One told the other that biting their nails was a bad habit.

Looks like I'm not the only one, who feels that nervous.

Ducks quacked in the distance, flying down in a flock of green and brown in the lake. I couldn't see them after the landing, but I heard seagulls again.

A bumblebee buzzed passed me. Normally I would have backed away. This time, I was numb.

I heard church bells ringing. Maybe someone died, or got married. Either way, they both give the same clang in the end. Weather you are happy or sad, the sun shines, and the wind blows.

I wanted him to welcome me back inside. I didn't dare go in without his approval. I was guilty. Guilty people don't spend time with civilians. They need to serve their time.

My knees started to hurt. I sat down. The wind blew harder. It got colder.

I heard something behind me. Footsteps. I turned around and saw him. I couldn't feel nothing anymore. I started to cry.

I got a hug. A hug?

"I'm sorry I made you sad."

Why is he apologizing? I was the one that broke his lamp. The one from his father whom passed away.

"It wasn't fun that it happened, but what's done is done."

I don't... understand... I didn't even get a chance to apologize.

"Come on, let's go inside."

Maybe he understood... I was sorry.