(First published on 5 June 2020)

Yo, RF here. Let's pretend for a little while that I hadn't been an absent bish this past few weeks. I knew I planned a break, but life had other plans. Deep sighing ensues. 

Anywaaaays, it had been a year since I started writing this story. And miracle of all miracles, I actually finished it. Yay! Before the 5th of June expired, which, if it wasn't clear enough, was actually the anniversary of this book, let's do something fun (or I hope to god is fun. Geezus, I seem to have a deficit of that during these past few weeks *huffs*). 

I had gathered the gang from several corners of my metaphorical house--kicking and screaming, by the way, to answer the questions from my bishes. A worthy endeavor for a dwindling Friday night, by the way. Note the sarcasm. 

I read the first question that popped up after I shuffled the cards...and quickly put the blasted card at the back of the pile. Not that one. Neither I nor the gang is drunk enough for that. 

After reshuffling the cards and questioning my choice of friends, I finally got enough courage to peek at the question.

"Oh, Rei, there's a question for you." 

Rei, who I dragged from her fifth book reading of the week, approached. "Okay, I'm ready. What's the question?" She put on a brave face. Good girl. She, of all people, knew the kind of company I keep.

"Death asked, 'What the fuck did you do to my blue balls?'" I smirked. Expected the bish to care about their balls' whereabouts.  

Rei peeked at the card. "Huh. It really asked that. Interesting."

Gio popped up behind me. "I have several recommendations about blue balls." 

I snorted. "Of course, you do, hun." I patted Gio's shoulder.  I used my author powers and forced him to sit down. I didn't need him towering over me.  

Rei took the card from my hands. "Well, Death, I believe the blue balls finally got the explosion they deserve."

"I might still have some...somewhere," Gio interjected. 

"No, you don't," Rei replied.

A pause, then "Yes, I don't." 

Another snort from me. Sometimes, I actually preferred it when they were still bickering. 

"Okay, next question."  

I shuffled the cards again. "Gio, you're up." 

Gio stood up. I glared at him. He sat down again. 

"Mansi asked, 'If I were to put a milkshake in one yard, and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?'" 

Gio got that contemplative look on his face. "Is this some market research or something? Because it would depend on a lot of economic variances such as the purchasing powers of the boys and their age which directly correlated with their interests, government restrictions on cracking cold ones, which I believe refers to alcoholic drinks-- "

"Gio--"

"Then of course, we have to take into consideration the informality of the sector which sells products on their yards--"

"Gio--" this time, I and Rei simultaneously, and uselessly, tried to get his attention.  

"However, considering that we are referring to 'boys,' it is safe to assume that they--

Rei had enough of the nerd stuff and within two strides, reached Gio and pulled him close by his tie...and shut him up by kissing him. 

Geez. 

I turned my attention away from the two love birds. I doubted I would be able to get their attention for a good long while. I also wished I had the foresight and brought a bottle of vodka to tide me during these trying times. 

Moving on.

After another intense card shuffling, I came upon another question from Mansi. "Quin, Mansi asked, 'So like, have you ever considered this absolutely crazy thing called knocking before you enter someone's room?'" 

Quin tilted her head. "What do you mean? I always knock before barging in. It's not like Onee has anything to hide from me. It's not like I don't know everything about her."

I couldn't help the nervous laughter that escaped from my throat. "Yes, yes, of course. Ha ha ha."  I cleared my throat. "Yo, Ran, you're up."

Ran raised his eyebrow. "I didn't know I was part of this." 

I clicked my tongue. "Dude, they are screaming for your blood. You're actually a thin line from being skinned alive. You better humor them." 

Ran lit a cigarette and puffed smoke all over the place. Quin glared at him but he only smirked at her. "Fine. Shoot." 

I rolled my eyes at him. Seriously, Ran can be a sweetheart when he wants to. Today must be a be-a-jerk day for him. "This is a question from Agnes. 'When will you upgrade to color version?'"  I couldn't help the snicker.

Ran looked at his hand. "Yeah, I know I'm pale. I tried coloring my hair black once like Gi. I never thought a person could be so monochromatic." 

Quin nodded her head in her seat while I pretended I knew what 'monochromatic' meant. From the corner of my vision, I saw the two love birds settle down, which was fortunate because the next question was for Gio. 

"Hey, Gio, Death has a question again. 'How long did the first Gucci with Rei last?' 

"Gucci?" Gio raised a groomed brow.

"I think Death is referring to your first sexy time with Rei." 

"Oh."

"Yeah." 

"I have to answer that?" 

"Our future readership depends on it." 

"Huh. Well...it was in the shower, you see. When we finished the visibility was almost zero because of the steam." 

"Ooooh," was all I managed to say. Quin and Ran pretended to be elsewhere. 

Moving on.

I shifted my attention to Rei. "Another question for you. Mansi asked 'Whenever you're feeling really down, how do you deal with the feelings?'" 

Rei clicked her tongue and pointed a finger gun at me. "You see, I prefer that vodka deals with the feelings. I'm a busy bish."

I murmured my approval. "You and I both, sister." Though, I knew she just wanted an excuse to drink. 

I heard Gio grunt his vehement objection and grumbled something that sounded like 'liver damage.'  "Another question for you, Rei. From Death this time."

"Shoot." 

"Kiddos? Why?"

"Huh. Exactly. Why?" Rei rolled her eyes. 

"I would want them," Gio interjected. 

"I wanted nieces and nephews too," added Quin. 

They all looked at me. I ignored them and whistled. 

"Geezus. Having kids is a bad idea, RF," Rei crossed her arms and glared at me. "You have us running around all the time, fighting bad guys!" 

"I neither confirm nor deny--"

Quin was before my face in an instant. Geezus fuck, the girl needed to know the concept of personal space. 

"RF, having little Rei's running about would be so awesome!" 

A shudder ran through me at the thought of unleashing little Rei's on my fictional world. No matter, it appeared that the topic caught the gang's attention. Rei, Gio, and Quin embarked on an animated discussion about the pros and cons of having children while Ran quietly observed, puffing smoke occasionally.  I yeeted the cards. Until next time then.

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