I know I'm divided, but where to go?

CHAPTER THREE —
decisions

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

ONCE SHE WAS ABLE TO MAKE HER LUNGS WORK, Ilena took the tram home but it felt like she was trapped in a daze. Things weren't making sense in the slightest, but she didn't have time to falter on what happened with the mysterious man and his card.

A knock sounded at her door and snapped her out of the staring contest she was having with the card in her hand. She quickly shoved it between the pages of a magazine in front of her before standing from her seat on the couch. Moving through her flat, she opened the door to find Atlas standing on her stoop.

"At, what are you doing here?" She waved her hand to invite him in.

Nodding his thanks, he stepped in and pulled off the light coat he had on. Ilena shut the door behind him before leading him to the kitchen.

"Well, I was just in the neighborhood-" At the raised brow she gave him, he backtracked, "Yeah that's a lie, I was swinging by 'cause I was worried about you after this morning. You didn't respond to any messages we sent and we hadn't heard from you. Cynthia isn't the most pleasant to talk to for details, so some of the girls asked me to check on ya."

"They sent you to check on me?"

"They thought you were less likely to kill me for coming over, Jen knows how you like your space and I've been here before." He gave a shrug as if he was saying, 'what can you do?'.

Ilena couldn't help but give a laugh, they were right. She liked the girls from work just fine, not all of them were the nicest to be around, but they knew her well enough to realize they wouldn't exactly be welcomed had they shown up at her doorstep. She didn't say anything in response as she put the kettle on and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet.

"So, is everything alright?"

"Oh, yeah, it's all good." She gave her own shrug and said nothing more.

"You sure? You didn't answer any of our messages, we didn't know what happened to you after Cynthia said the damn police picked you up this morning."

"When did you talk to her?"

"This morning, we called your flat and she answered the phone. But that's beside the point, hello?"

Giving a sigh and grabbing the chamomile, she answered. "They tried to get me on some bullshit vandalism charge; it's okay though, it didn't hold so there's nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about? What the hell do they think you did?"

"You remember that guy that showed up at the club spouting shit that got him kicked out?"

Atlas had to laugh at that statement as he poured the hot water into the mugs, "'Lena that helps nothing, we've had three of those guys in the last month."

She rolled her eyes, "That Rottweiler guy, the one with the big nose and shit haircut."

"That jackass started this?"

"Yeah...I don't get what his problem is with me, but I don't care at this rate. I got out and that's what matters, right?"

Atlas gave a slow nod but he had a questioning look in his eye, Ilena held in a sigh when she saw it. "I know what you want to know, but I don't know what to tell you, At."

"I didn't even say anything", he was gaping at her but snapped out of it rather quickly. "You gotta tell me what happened, you got out scott-free. Charges don't just get dropped unless you have connections."

Ilena said nothing.

"...Do you have connections?"

She took a sip of her tea and shook her head. "Look, like I said, there was nothing to hold me for. I only said the truth to everyone who talked to me, I had nothing to do with what that bloke is accusing me of." Ilena hated lying to Atlas, even if it wasn't technically lying. She wanted to mention the "lawyer" who visited her and got her released, but she didn't think that was the greatest idea.

Her friend hummed curiously but dropped the subject for now. As they drank their tea, Ilena fiddled with her pin, eying it silently. Somewhere in the background of noise, she heard Atlas begin rambling about the latest episode of the show he watched but it was muffled by her thoughts.

Who was Harold Isenhower, how did he find her? Why did he help her and why was he offering her a job of sorts?

Had he not handed her that card, she could've been content with moving on from this experience, written it off as good luck and looked the other way. But that card had the golden K she had only seen once before and she wanted an answer to at least one of her many questions.

Without looking up, she opened her mouth to speak, "Have you ever thought about changing something in your life?"

Atlas' words came to a halt and he hesitated for a moment before answering, "What do you mean?"

"I mean like, we live the same thing pretty much everyday. Are you not tired of it? Don't you want to change something?"

"Well yeah, sometimes, I guess."

"And what if you had the opportunity to change something, but you didn't know if it would make things better or worse...would you still do it?"

At her question, Atlas couldn't help but look at her curiously; where had these questions come from, what was she referring to? Surely, a bit of time in police holding couldn't have sent her into some kind of random existential crisis...could it?

"Well um, I think that's how the world works 'Lena. Every choice we make could go either way, no matter how big or small it may be. If we sat around thinking of every possibility that comes with our decisions, we'd never get a thing done; change wouldn't happen at all. So you just gotta ask yourself, regardless of the consequences, are you ready for a change?"

Atlas took the opportunity to ask her another question when his friend didn't answer right away, "Is there something you want to tell me?"

She thought about it for a second, would it actually be okay to tell him about Harold and his strange offer? Would he even believe her, she had a hard time believing it herself until she looked at the card that matched her pin.

For the two and a half, almost three, years she had worked at the club, Atlas had become one of her closer friends. Ilena was more of the anti-social type, she wasn't the best communicator and she had a hard time making friends because of her standoffish nature.

That wasn't to say she was unkind or didn't know how to have fun, she just found it hard to be as vibrant as Atlas made himself seem. But being his friend came easily with his bright smiles and easy-going nature, he never took it hard when she made it difficult for everyone in the beginning.

I can trust him with this, she thought. But as she opened her mouth to tell him any further details, the front door to her flat opened and in walked Cynthia and Cayden. As they stumbled through the doorway of the kitchen, giggling and tipsy, Ilena put the pin that was in her hand back into her pocket.

"Oy! You lovebirds having a cuppa?" It was Cayden's remark that had Ilena flicking her eyes towards them and before her sarcasm could come through, Atlas was the peacekeeper who offered them a cup as well.

"No thanks bruv, we've got plenty of this to warm us up," he had taken the half-full bottle of Statesman Whiskey from Cynthia to wave around. The two of them giggled from the sway of the movements before stepping back to head out of the kitchen. The kissing started and Ilena let out an exasperated groan.

Atlas couldn't help himself, he had to let out a chuckle, "Maybe I oughta go, I'm covering for Mari tonight."

Walking him to the door, Ilena thought about continuing their conversation from earlier but it was too late, the mood had been shattered and she didn't know how to bring it up again. Maybe it was a good thing. This was something that she had to think about on her own, decide for herself.

He stood on the stoop and peered at his brunette friend curiously. That was something Ilena both liked and didn't like about Atlas Wickham, he was good at reading people when he paid attention.

"Are you sure everything's okay Lena?"

She looked at him and as she opened her mouth, a groan from Cynthia's bedroom made her pause and glance over her shoulder. The two looked at each other and shared an eye roll. "Leave it to Cynthia to not understand common courtesy," she joked, "Well, I should try to get some kind of sleep...I'll talk to you later, At."

"Right, yeah. I'll see you later then." He reached an arm towards her for a hug and took a step back towards the street. She flashed him a quick smile and shut her front door.

With Atlas gone, she went back to the kitchen and moved their mugs to the sink before going for the book she had earlier. She flipped it open and there sat the card she had stuffed inside. She dumped the book back on the table before heading to her bedroom and shutting the door.

She looked at the card and the pin from her pocket. Atlas was an insightful guy, his words were running through her head. Was she ready for a change? Sure, she enjoyed her job just fine, but it wasn't what she always wanted to do and it wasn't something she could take for the rest of her life. Could she take the chance?

Reaching over, she dug out her phone from her purse and dialed the number on Galahad's card. It rang and just when she thought no one was going to pick up, there was a man's voice on the other end.

"Ms. Speirs, I had hoped you would call."

"How did you know it was me?"

"Well, you are the only one I've given this number to." Although she couldn't see him, she had the feeling he was smirking, "How can I help you my dear?"

"Right...Well I can't give you an answer yet, I need to know more about what exactly it is you're offering."

"Understandable. How about this, it's a bit late right now and I'm sure you haven't slept since yesterday; why don't we meet at ten tomorrow morning at Brigg's Cafe?"

Ilena nodded to herself before answering, "Um, I can do that. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, Harold."

"Just Harry is fine, Ms. Speirs." And without an awkward goodbye, Ilena heard the click of the phone signaling Harry had ended the call.

Placing her phone and the card on her nightstand, she rolled over and looked at the ceiling. Was it dumb to meet with a complete stranger? Maybe, but at least they would be in a public space and she would have her taser in her purse, it would probably be fine.

It felt like sleep took hours to come but when her hand slammed on the alarm clock next to her, it felt like she hadn't slept enough. Letting out a sigh, she stayed in the bed for another ten minutes before climbing out and heading to the shower.

Her plan was to get there earlier than him, she could pick a table where her back wasn't to the door and she could have a clear line of vision to most of the restaurant. But a rather unnecessary argument with Cythia about the damn mugs in the sink from the night before put her off schedule and she showed up late instead.

When she walked through the entrance after a brisk jog to the cafe, she spotted Harry seated at a table by the window. He was wearing a suit similar to the one from the station, poised and proper. His own back was to the door, having left the other chair open for her to sit but he still stood as she approached.

"Sorry for being late, I was dealing with some stuff at home," she said as they both sat down.

He waved it off, "Not a problem, it's good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too," before continuing, a server had approached them for their drink order. They kept it simple, a Colombian coffee for her and an espresso for him. When their server walked away, Ilena spoke again, "Not to be rude, but let's cut to the chase here. Who are you?"

"My name is Harry Hart, I work with the Kingsman organization."

She scoffed, "You want me to believe that someone from a tailor shop on Saville Row managed to wipe my entire slate of charges clean?"

"Of course not. But in order for you to understand, I need you to be open to what you're hearing. Meaning, let's drop the attitude." He tilted his head, a silent inquiry of her agreement.

Instead of being offended, she smirked as their server left their drinks and walked away, "Alright. I'm listening."

"Kingsman is a tailor indeed, but there is more to it than that. From the 1800s, we have been tailors but during the first World War, our organization was formed and funded by those we once clothed. Since 1919, we've worked through the shadows to help those in need and stop dangers that the government can't. That is how we wiped away your charges."

"But why me? From what you're saying, it seems like you do more to stop political assassinations and drug cartels. You help people, but I don't think that I would've qualified."

This is where Harry seemed to hesitate, "There are certain things I can and cannot share with you, at least not yet. All I can say is that we've always kept an eye on you."

Ilena felt slightly taken aback, "Oh jeez Harry, that's a bit weird dontcha think?"

"My apologies...perhaps I didn't word it correctly. We haven't been watching you directly, more-so we've been watching out for you."

"Yeah, like how? Because I had a couple rough years and I didn't feel very looked after."

"We had orders not to intervene unless it was necessary. But we always kept track, from your adoption to now, that's why I was there at the station to help."

"But you haven't told me why. Was it my parents, did they pay your organization to watch over me? It's not surprising — Speirs still wants control even after all these years."

Her moment of disdain was interrupted with the following words, "It was at the request of your birth mother." And for the second time in less than forty-eight hours, Ilena felt like the rug was yanked from under her.

"What the hell are you talking about?" The words cut through the air before she could catch them, but Harry didn't seem phased at the looks they received from the other patrons in the coffee shop.

"I can't tell you very much, but your birth mother was a part of this agency and when she died, we did the one thing asked of us and that was to make sure you made it to a family that would keep you safe and to keep you out of harm's way."

"But there's more, isn't there? And you can't tell me because what, I'm not part of your little spy club?"

"Ilena, you are a capable young woman, both incredibly smart and skilled. There are many things I would like to tell you, things I would like to show you. I am offering you the opportunity to grow further and give you the chance to understand where it is you came from, to know who came before you. But I can't make this decision for you," Harry looked directly at her and extended his hand across the table towards her, "Are you in?"

A million thoughts ran through her head in those following few seconds, doubts and possibilities all at once. Everything this man did only left her with more questions, but like Atlas, he was right.

And without another thought, Ilena lifted her hand and grasped his with a firm shake, "Okay."

POSTED : june 2023
A/N : i feel so powerful and inspired, next chapter
we should add actually get into the movie