Trigger warning. Read at your own risk.

"Ivy," someone called.

I was still in the verge of dreaming when someone tapped my shoulder. Naramdaman kong nakapalipot ang kamay ko sa unan. But the pillow is too warm? When I opened my eyes, bigla akong napatagal sa bisig niya. Am I hugging Primo the whole night?

Hinatak niya akong papalapit. "I like your hugs." And he squeezed me in tightly.

I gave him a deadly glare. "Hmp!"

"Wipe your drool," he ordered. "It's miting de avance day."

Napakapa ako sa may bandang labi ko. "Bwiset! Wala naman kaya!"

He playfully smiled and checked his keys. "7:30 na pala. Paano ka uuwi nyan?"

"I can't." Napabuntong hininga na lang ako.

Masyado kasi akong padalos-dalos kagabi. Ngayon, paano na lang ako makakapag-ayos? I'm sure Quen's expecting me to be there, same with Primo.

How long do I stay neutral? Today, I was expected to represent someone and take sides. Siguro I'll blend in na lang sa crowd or disguise.

"I'll text Maeve na lang."

He arched a brow. "What will you tell her?"

"To meet me at your place?" pagkatwiran ko.

"Okay, deal."

Bahala na sa kung iisipin niya. Ang alam ko ay kailangan kong ma-witness ang event. I need to support them both. Linabas ko na ang phone ko at nagtipa ng message.

To: Maeve

Sis, can you meet me at Primo's place? Bring me clothes na rin.

Sa kasalukuyan ay bumitaw na siya sa yakap at pumunta agad sa driver's seat. We can't waste any second, in an hour, magsisimula na ang program.

Inakma ko sanang bumalik sa passenger's seat not until he went out of the car. Bigla niyang binuksan ang car door na malapit sa'kin.

"Stay there, Ivy. It's gonna get complicated pag inakala nilang jowa kita," sabi ni Primo.

Merong sincerity sa boses niya then he grabbed for my seatbelt. I can't help but to notice at his disheveled strands when he was searching where to place the belt.

Napaurong ako ng kaunti noong malapit na siya sa'kin. Unexpectedly, his hand was placed in my thigh when he lost balance. Seconds after, biglang nangudngod siya sa car seat.

I tried to conceal the laughter. "Oks ka pa, boss?"

He was blushing when he got up. "Shit—"

Agad niyang binawi ang kamay niya. It was shaking yet he managed to clicked my seatbelt in.

"Thanks," I said. Bumalik na ulit siya sa harapan at pinaharurot ang sasakyan.

Inaliw ko na lang ang sarili ko sa Twitter. Trending pala ang miting de avance sa Ciudad Real. I read some of the tweets. Maraming tweets about Primo. He was being compared to Vico Sotto, the one who will beat the 10-year political dynasty in town.

@harriet_amari tweeted: YES TO PRIMO! I'm watching sa live broadcast ng miting de avance mo.

@phialonzo tweeted: Mayor Primo Castellano will be the next Vico Sotto. Ibagsak ang trapo, ipanalo si Primo para sa pagbabago!

@loveC tweeted: It's time to end the Quentin dynasty. Tama na ang sampung taong paglilimas ng kaban ng bayan!

And a lot more which I won't mention. Sanay naman akong makakita ng mga bashers ngunit hindi ko lang pinapansin ang mga iyon. This time's different, kinakabahan ako kasi what if I'm missing something. In the first place, baka naman totoo ang sinasabi nila.

From: Maeve

Okay sis. Mukhang you did Netflix last night with live sounds effects rin.

—

Natuod ako noong nasa tapat na ako ng pinto ni Primo. I've never been in a guy's crib before na kaming dalawa lang ang naiwan. Pero brave naman ako, hindi naman ako magpapadala sa temptation. Even though his sole existence is a temptation itself.

His place is a two-storey brickhouse. It was simple, color maroon with a separate garage on the side. What made it stand out is its big windows. Located at an exclusive subdivision din pero malayo kila Quen.

"Have you texted Maeve?" asked Primo while entering the passcode.

"Yup, she texted na malapit na siya."

When he opened the door, all I can see is light. I didn't kid when I said that he had gigantic windows. His furnishings are mostly in brown and cream. Warm tones. It's rare na mayroong fireplace sa sala but it gives a homey feeling to his place.

"Hatid kita sa guest room para makapagpahinga ka."

When we stepped in the second floor, it left me in awe. Same warm tones but the charcoal paintings was the highlight. However, the biggest one had his portrait in it. Naka-side view siya, nakatupi ang labi and his finger was holding his glasses.

"Call me when you need me." He tapped my shoulder.

"As much as I want you to tour in my place, the time won't allow it." Then, he held my hand and placed the keys.

Agad kong binuksan ang guest room. Habang wala pa si Maeve ay humiga ako sa kama. Sarap matulog! I can't really imagine paano ako nakatulog kagabi nang naka-upo at nakayakap pa kay Primo! Sobrang nakakahiya.

I walked into the veranda at the side. The view is mesmerizing! The serene place was full of greenery. Maganda rin ang mga ancestral houses na nakatayo sa subdivision. I hope the air is like in Manila.

Five minutes after, I heard a knock in my door. And there stood Maeve, wearing a blue maxi dress.

"How did you get in?" I asked hastily. Bigla lang akong nagtaka. Does she know the passcode?

"There was a sensor sa pinto ni Primo. Like you can enter, basta na-save 'yong face mo."

Napatango na lang ako. Therefore, totoo nga ang theory ko na tamad si Primo magbukas ng pinto. Charot!

"Here's your clothes!" Maeve said, tossing the paper bag.

Umupo siya sa kama and faced me. Her teasing grin was evident. "C'mon, what happened to you and Primo? Hindi niya na-realize na it's his big day today?"

I nudged her. "Luh! Na-stuck lang kami somewhere."

"Somewhere? Over the rainbow?" Tumawa na lang ako ng mahina.

"Where nga?" pangungulit niya.

I checked the contents of the paper bag. Blue puff-sleeve cropped top and dark mom jeans. Meron ring black stilletos and some make-up.

"Thanks, Maeve! I'll tell you after I groom." At tumakbo na ako papuntang bathroom to dodge her question.

—

"You told you'll tell me!" Maeve grumpily said. Nagpapadyak pa siya noong palabas na kami ng bahay.

"What did you guys do?" pangungulit niya ulit.

"Secret." I teased.

Primo was closing the door when he heard us. He is wearing a denim blue polo shirt, white pants and leather Sperry. His iconic slicked back hair was in place.

At tumingin siya kay Maeve. "We cuddled."

Binalikan naman kami ni Maeve ng ngisi. "And?"

"Nothing else," I cleared.

"Pwede ba 'yon?" Maeve chuckled. "As if."

"Bahala ka nga diyan!" pagtataray ko.

Bigla akong namula sa sinabi ni Primo. Baka ma-misinterpret ni Maeve! Hindi naman ako aware na magkayakap kami buong gabi 'noh!

"Ivy, you better go with Maeve. I'd better go alone para hindi controversial."

"Okay." I winked at him. "Good luck, Primo!"

"Ba't ako kinikilig?" Maeve whispered. "My ship is sailing!

"Hug?" Primo asked.

I arched a brow. "Ayoko nga."

Hanggang sa naramdaman ko na lang na inakbayan ako ni Maeve at tumakbo kami papalapit kay Primo.

"Power hug for Primo!" Maeve cheered.

Now, this is what friendship feels like. Something rare and genuine.

—

As we drove to the event hall, I can't help but to think of what might happen today.

I'm too overwhelmed to open my eyes. But I feel fulfilled dahil I get to listen to their platforms. One way of knowing who's more worthy as a candidate. Although sa Quezon City ako registered voter. Echos lang talaga ako dito.

I am scared of knowing that one of them might not be the person I was expecting. Kung sakali mang mangyari iyon, sigurado akong hindi na mag-iiba ang impact noon sa'kin. That's the hardest part.

Kahit nasa parking pa lang kami ay kitang-kita na ang dagsa ng tao mula sa entrance. Some are wearing red and blue, no other colors.

"Maeve!" I called. "Is Primo for blue and Quen for red?"

She rolled her eyes. "Duh! Halata naman!"

"Whatever!" I replied.

Sinubukan ko na lang itago ang kaba ko. I'm sure it will be a mess kung sakaling may makakilala sa'kin. Quen's girlfriend is wearing the color of his political opponent.

Bago kami bumaba ay tinawagan ni Maeve si Primo. The call was connected to the car's bluetooth speaker.

"Primo! Mayroon ba kaming access sa harap? We can't see you closely!" pag-rant ni Maeve.

"Yup, sabihin nyo lang reserved sa'kin."

"Okay. Good luck, Primo!" She beamed.

Before the call ended, I managed to let the words fly.

"I believe in you."

There was a long pause before he thanked me. At sa isang iglap, the silence was turned into loud noises. The crowd was chanting the name of the candidates. Para bang nagpapalakasan sila ng sigaw para sa pambato nila sa sabong. The left side was painted in blue, the other was in red. Invite ko kaya si Tiyang Amy? Face to face!

"Are you okay, Ivy?" Maeve asked, looking at me intently.

Hindi ko rin siya masisisi. I was kinda pale noong magmata ang mata namin ng tita ni Quen. Ever since I was introduced to their household, all she did is to stare as if binabalatan ako ng buhay.

"I need to go to bathroom muna." pagpaalam ko.

Agad kong kinuha ang clutch bag ko at naglakad nang mabilis. Her eyes are following every move of mine, causing my rapid breathing. I'm not a fan of her at mas lalong lalaki ang gulo if kumalat sa Quentin clan na nakasuot ako ng kulay ng kalaban.

Nakahinga ako nang malalim noong hindi ko na siya nakita. I was panting when I reached the bathroom. Papasok na sana ako not until I saw a familiar face. He sneaked at the room. When he assured na walang tao, pasimple niya itong ni-lock.

Mabigat ang footsteps niya. He has a scary glance kaya't napapaurong ako ng lakad. I was cornered in the corner. Fuck!

"Where the hell have you been, Saoirse?" bulyaw niya.

Pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin. Then, he arched a brow.

"Tangina mo! Punyetang girlfriend na yan! Walang kwenta!" pagpatuloy niya.

Sinipa niya rin ng malakas ang isang cubicle kaya't nagulat ako.

"Can you please let me—" mahinahon kong pakiusap.

Ilang minuto na lang ay magsisimula na ang miting. He should manage his temper!

"Explain?" hamon niya.

"Putangina, Saoirse! Sa tingin mo ba I'm clueless? All these time, hindi mo sinabi sa'kin na you're meeting up with my enemy. Baka nilalandi mo pa!"

Bigla niya akong tinulak sa pader at mariin na hinigit ang buhok ko. "You're a bullshit. Malas ka!"

My eyes are welling up with tears. When he noticed I was crying, he left an evil grin and provoked my emotions. In just a snap, bigla niya na ang hinahalikan pababa. Leaving noticeable hickeys on my neck. As if I was a possession, displayed to be his own.

I wanted to scream but I can't have the courage to stand up. Gusto ko siyang itulak pero nanghihina ako. Gusto ko siyang murahin ng isang malutong na putangina. He doesn't deserve any of my affection. These thoughts kept running through my mind as he began to touch my breasts.

"Saoirse, besides of being an attorney, you're a bitch." He chuckled, licking my neck.

Binaon niya ang ulo niya sa dibdib ko. No, I was not in the mood for this. Kahit partner ko siya, this act can be considered rape. It's not even consensual.

Fuck his dirty hands! Kada galaw niya ay ramdam ko ang pagkababoy sa katawan ko. I don't even know who he is now.

Our relationship went downhill when he showed me his demons. Almost a span of two weeks, everything changed.

I gathered my strength to finally push him off. Hindi ko na kayang magtiis. This is too much. This is domestic violence. I can even file a case against him. I knew how to play with the law.

"Ang tapang mo na, Atty. Kunwari ayaw mo pa." pagbibiro niya. He cupped my face and smiled.

"Ayoko naman talaga." pag-iling ko. "Don't fucking touch me!"

Hinawakan niya ang gitna ng legs ko and this time, I lost it. "Putangina, sabing 'wag mo akong hawakan!"

"Aba'y—" Pinutol ko siya agad at binigyan ng malutong na sampal.

I don't want to cause a scenario but he's too much. Let him do the miting de avance with the red mark on his cheeks. Bahala na kung madawit muli ang pangalan ko. I don't care any less.

This time, I'm not backing down. It it a fight for my dignity, my womanhood.

"Break na tayo. I don't want you near me. Magkita na lang tayo sa korte 'pag sinuway mo ang restraining order mo," pagbabala ko.

I marched with all of the bravity left in me. The only sound in the room was his heavy breathing and the clicking of my heels. Before I close the door, I give him one last look.

"I'm a bitch, so what?" Then, I rolled my eyes.

Tinaas ko ang middle finger ko. "But you're a fucking gaslighter."

I'm claiming it that I've never been loved. Maybe he was obsessed in the beginning. Now, I'll tear off every page of him and start anew.