To: X
Can you stop bothering me?

Inipon ko ang lakas ng loob na itipa ang message na iyon. The last thing I needed to have is someone messing up with my head. I had enough already. Na parang nakakatakot magtiwala. My trust issues left me with what-ifs.

"Ivy!" Maeve called excitedly.

She was wearing a black turtleneck top and brown slacks. Her white briefcase also complimented her look. I never knew she could be this stylish yet formal.

"Ikaw ha, lumalablayp!" I kidded. Bigla siyang namula at pabirong hinampas ang braso ko.

Her conyo accent was evident. 'Yong tipong parang rich kid na nagrereklamo. "Hindi kaya! I was just watching Netflix."

"Ano'ng series, aber?" She scowled as a reply.

"Next time invite mo naman ako," pagbibiro ko. "Bet ko 'yong live sound effects."

She grabbed my arm to stand up. "Hmp, tara na nga! Baka kung saan pa mapunta ang usapan na to."

I acted clueless. "We are just talking about Netflix, right?"

Kumindat siya. "With a twist."

—

Halos dalawang oras rin ang byahe sa Ciudad Real. We never talked about what I heard sa phone call. As much as I wanna ask about it, baka she'll be uncomfortable. Dalawa na nga lang ang friends ko. I better do everything to keep them.

"Ang layo pala ng office mo," pagpansin ko.

I looked up to three-storey building na may naka-engrave na Ramos Law Firm in bold red. Itim na marmol ang nasa facade nito. Tila ba may something about it na you'll get mystified.

"Hired ako before as an intern. Now, I'm assigned to government cases."

I nodded. "For sure, familiar ka na sa workloads mo by now."

"Sa workloads, siguro. Sa cases, hindi. Minsan habang tumatagal ang investigation, nababaliktad ang may sala," sagot niya.

"That's how the power works. To be honest, sobrang unfair sa mga nafa-frame. Why do they still need to suffer for other people's crime?" pagtatanong ko.

Nagkibit-balikat na lang siya. "Because manipulators create their own right and just."

Pagkapasok namin ng building, Maeve was greeted by the employees. As early as now, I can tell that she already made a name in this company. And if ever na ma-hire rin ako dito, I'll be honored to be her co-worker.

The office was splashed with white and gray, modern minimalist style. Halos lahat ay naka-formal coat but stylish clothes underneath. We proceeded to the second floor after I got a visitor pass.

On the last corner sa hallway, tumambad ang office for government cases. Everyone was busy handling something in their cubicles, although kita sa glass walls. One was holding the phone, looking stressed. The other was picking up the papers. And the rest were either talking to a client or typing in the PC.
Lahat occupied pwera lang sa kaisa-isang red table sa likod.

"Welcome to my world, Ivy." Maeve said, dusting off her table. "Grab a seat."

Dahan-dahan akong umupo and felt comfortable with the cushion. "Ngayon na ba ang interview? I feel like hindi fit ang attire ko."

She shook her head. "I'm sure the boss will agree. You're bright enough to observe na staple ang style dito."

"If that's the case, it's cool. Maybe being a lawyer isn't being manang." I chuckled. Totoo naman kasi na ang notion sa mga lawyer ay walang taste. This law firm proved me wrong.

"Can I ask why? I don't wanna interfere. Curious lang." I honestly blurted.

She rested her chin on her hand. "Siguro like."

"We dress to please ourselves. If we are comfortable enough with our skin, mas magiging effective 'yong performance natin."

I commended. "Maeve, you are reallly something. Your wisdoms, I cannot even."

"I have a question." panimula niya. Pinagdikit niya ang dalawa niyang kamay as if she was a notorious mastermind.

"Do you have any interests on a particular field? Like some experience that fueled you to take up law?"

Nagkunwari akong nag-iisip pero wala naman talaga akong masagot. Para bang tinawag ka ng professor sa isang case na hindi mo nabasa. How the hell do I even answer it if wala naman talaga? Like it isn't my passion from the first place or not in my kind of thing.

Sana pala pinag-isipan ko ng maigi ang law beforehand. Sa ngayon, I don't think mapapakain ako ng rasong "for my social class".

"To be honest, wala talaga sis." Her face was perplexed for a moment, though it fade away instantly.

"For unsure lawyers, most law firms usually give two weeks na iba-ibang kinds of case lang. Then, you get to choose after that."

"That was...helpful." Napabuntong hininga na lang ako. Baka sakaling there's still hope to fix my mess.

She was all smiles and gently held my hand. "I got you. And I'll refer you to the boss."

—

Maeve had a client with her. Mukhang big profile. Her boss cannot make an appointment today. Busy schedule. So I decided na umuwi na lang. I'll try to contact Quen and ask what's his plans for the miting de avance tomorrow.

Pababa na ako ng stairs noong I saw a familiar face papasok ng building? Was it Stefan Quentin II? Minsan ko lang naman makita ang papa ni Quen. Why is he here in the law firm though? May kaso ba siya? Or baka hanggang dito ay nangangampanya pa rin siya?

I'm sure Maeve will get sick of seeing him. Basta Quentins, maraming haters. Hanggang kailan kaya ako magki-keep up sa ganitong set-up? Being in the middle of two contradicting groups?

If my love wasn't stupid enough, siguro matagal na akong nakalaya.

I tried avoiding Quen's father. I'm sure he'll ask me some unnecessary questions kung bakit ako nandito and not plotting with his son's miting de avance bukas.

I was very supportive back then. Now, I am tired of their dramas. I just can't keep up. I need my sanity.

Muntik na kaming magkasabay lumabas, thank heavens, I stepped back. And back. And lost my balance.

Hinihintay ko na lang na lumagapak ang likod ko sa sahig. It took me a while to realize that I stumbled upon someone. Para bang may nagliparang papers instead of petals.

"I'm so sorry," I said, almost panicking. Napatayo agad ako in shame.

What if importanteng law documents 'yon? I'll be dead if nagkaiba-iba ang pagkakasunod noon.

"It's good, Ivy."

When I looked up to him, I cursed myself. Tangina, hanggang dito ba naman si Primo pa rin? I'm not liking the odd consequences. Bakit siya nandito? And why do we always run to each other momentarily?

Tumulong na lang ako sa pagpulot ng papers and placed them on the box. Sobrang dami. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's almost a thousand pages. Mas lalo akong nakonsensya when I read that these are really cases.

"Primo, I'll help in organizing these papers." I volunteered.

I'm sure this will take a lot of time kapag siya lang ang tumapos. Mayroon pa siyang miting de avance tomorrow. I don't want him to spend his night fixing this mess.

After he picked up the last paper, he carried the box. May label na nakasulat Atty. Castellano. "Do you mind if we fix this in my car?"

I coughed badly kaya't agad siyang natauhan. Agad naman siyang sumagot. "I just resigned today. Wala na akong maalok na space to stay."

Noong na-regain ko na ang usual self ko, pinagpag ko ang clothes ko. I was wearing an all white, sana lang hindi dumumi.

I arched a brow. "Should we really do it in the car?"

That came out...wild. But that wasn't my intention. Magdadahilan na sana ako nang nagsalita siya.

"These are confidential documents. Not for public view." He said, putting a cover in the box.

Because of that, I was taken aback. Na-realize kong ako ang nagkalat ng papers. I volunteered to help. Hindi naman siguro tama na I'll question him. Your mind, Saoirse. Masyadong malisyosa.

Habang naglalakad kami papuntang parking, nagpahuli ako. Sinuot ko rin ang sunglasses ko kahit magmukha akong tanga. Mahirap na at baka may makakilala sa'kin.

I halted immediately noong napatigil siya. Lumingon siya sa kinatatayuan ko, probably a couple of feet away. Then, umusad siyang patalikod katabi ko.

"Let's walk side by side," he said with authority.

Kada pasimpleng humihinto ako, he also does. I don't know why is he doing that. Weird.

Madilim sa parking, high end rin na mga sasakyan ang nakaparada. Noong nakatapat kami sa kotse niya, he clicked his key fob.

"Saan ako sasakay?" I asked. He pointed the passenger's seat with his lips. Then, pumasok agad ako before he can enter.

As soon as his seatbelt is at place, I see him staring at the box. There was something in his face na hindi ko ma-figure out. As if he was meditating if he made the right decision.

"Where are we going to fix it?" He asked, while turning on the aircon.

"Maybe park somewhere nearby."

"Coffee?" pag-aalok niya. Tumango agad ako.

"Pa-connect ako sa Spotify." Then, I played the Sweetener album. It's weird but I get dizzy 'pag walang music sa drives.

Isang oras na kaming bumabaybay sa kalagitnaan ng init. Ang sinabi kong nearby na coffee, hindi nangyari. Nagulat na lang ako noong naging matarik na ang daan.

Being the impatient ass I am, tanong lang ako ng tanong. Laging "secret" na lang ang sagot niya sa'kin. Nagpa-pout na lang ako dahil kahit anong kulit ko, wala pa rin. Am I really 25? Sa tingin ko, I was still in my teenage years.

Napadpad bigla kami sa Starbucks drive-thru. Ang lakas din ng trip ni Primo.

"Grande java chip frappe," he ordered. Tumingin siya sa akin. "And you?"

Tumalikod ako sa kanya dahil baka makilala ako ng cashier. "Same size, vanilla frappe."

Agad kaming dumiretso kami doon sa hindi mataong parking. Pagkakuha ko ng frappe, the question I've wanted to ask slipped.

"Magkaiba ba ang lasa ng kape kapag dinadayo?"

He grinned. "Sa tingin mo?"

"Iba yata ang lasap ng hangin dito," pagbibiro ko.

"Anong lasa?" He rebutted.

"Lasang vanilla," pagbwelta ko.

"Dito tayo mag-aayos ng files?"

Seeing those papers makes me dizzy. How the hell are we gonna arrange those in broad daylight?

"Safe naman na siguro dito," he assured.

Bigla siyang lumabas sa parking at umupo sa back seat. He began to read the papers one by one. Sumunod na rin naman ako after a while.

Tahimik lang kaming nagbabasa ng cases. Public governance cases pala 'to. Mayor of Ciudad Real, 1980s ang keywords na nakalagay sa title. Mayroon ring nahalo about haciendas pero hindi ko nabasa ang buong details. Ang gist lang, may nangyaring massacre between the landowners and farmers.

"There was a massacre dito in the 1980s?" I asked, holding out the page. "Anong pangalan ng mayor?"

"Not yet done reading the cases," he shrugged.

"Can you tell me who is it pag natapos ka na?"

There was a gut feeling I can't explain. Na para bang kabado. Pero I shan't connect the dots hangga't wala pang solid evidence. That will just put me in vain.

"Bakit naka-sunglasses ka pa rin?" tanong niya out of the blue. Tinanggal ko rin agad at na-realize kong kaya pala brown ung paningin ko. Parang hindi pa rin tumalab ang kape sa isang brain cell ko?

Tapos bigla niyang nilabas ang case niya ng reading glasses. The black rimmed ones, pero manipis lang. Mas nagmukha siyang abogado ngayon lalo na't naka corporate suit siya.

I was just watching him read the files. Bigla na lang siyang kumukunot minsan. He was too serious. Minsan he is reading with his eyes, madalas he was whispering the words.

Noong muntik na akong mahuli, bigla na lang akong napausad sa may bintana.

"Something wrong?" pag-obserba niya sa'kin. Agad akong umiling at bumalik sa pagbabasa.

The sun is setting down now. Napansin ko lamang yaon nang tumama ang sunrays sa mata ko. Kinusot ko ang mata ko at pagdilat ko ay binuksan niya ang taas ng kotse niya. I forgot to mention that it was a convertible.

Damn, the sunset is to die for! There was a mountain within the lake rin kasi ang view namin. Kita rin kasi dito ang Taal scenery since magkatabi lang sila na bayan.

"Ganda," he blurted out of the blue. Pagtingin ko sa kanya ay kimi siyang umiwas.

"It's just my last sunset of not being a mayor." He beamed.

He played with his wavy hair at tumingin ulit sa akin. "Do you think I'll make it?"

"Ikaw pa ba, Primo."

Deep inside, I feel like nagtataksil ako kay Quen. Ngunit parehas naman silang malapit sa'kin. Ayokong may i-give up hangga't kaya ko pa. Hangga't pwede pa.

Shortly after, bumalik rin kami pag-sort out. Halos padilim na noong matapos ako, muntik na akong mapasigaw sa saya not until I saw him sleeping.

His head was tilted in the window; his glasses is out of place. Mahina siyang humilik. Gusto ko siyang tapikin pero he was soundly sleeping. Dahan-dahan akong lumapit para tanggalin ang glasses niya.

Then, I noticed he had good features. Hindi ko rin masisi ang sarili ko na tinawag ko siyang visual god noong first time ko siyang makita.

When the cold breeze landed on my skin, napatingin ako sa langit. Seems like he forgot to close the roof. The night is so young yet the stars shimmer brightly.

I traced the constellations that I can spot. I used to loved astrology until Quen told me it's stupid. As a "loving" partner I am, hindi ko na ulit minention 'yon. I was too submissive, para bang nakalimutan ko na ang Saoirse before I met him.

11:11 on the clock. I wished for the best sa Ciudad Real. Not on Quen's or Primo's luck. Humiling na lang ako na mapili ang nakakabuti for the town. Then, I hoped for the better days to come.

Napahikab na lang ako noong napagod na ako. Sumandal na lang ako sa balikat ni Primo. It was comforting, I feel like I was safe. It felt like home for an unknown reason. Pinagsawalang bahala ko na lang ang mangyayari bukas.

"Good night, Atty. Primo." I muttered softly.

Darkness consumed me as I drifted off to sleep.