I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY S5 EPISODES YET, SO NO SPOILERS! However, this oneshot touches on plot points that are mentioned in S5, cuz not even I could avoid everything. I ONLY know that Nathalie is kinda not on Gabe's side anymore, I don't know how it happened or why. That being said, I hope you enjoy this one! ALSO! TW for Adrien having a panic attack. If that is too damaging to your mental health, please feel free to skip this one and I'll see you tomorrow!                                                                                                                                       -Colorado

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Adrien remembered a time when life seemed so simple. Back when his biggest concern was his next modeling shoot. Back when he felt as though he and Ladybug were invincible. Yeah, his dad sucked but he thought that he would change. As if. He missed his mother, but he faced every day as an opportunity to make her proud.

Of course in the moment, things weren't as clean as Adrien liked to remember. Missing his mother and his father growing distant really took a toll on him. He still had to deal with a lot of crazy fans at his school, and he and Ladybug hadn't grown close, yet. He had a small friend group that consisted of Nino, and then eventually Alya and Marinette joined in. Life wasn't all sunshine and rainbows back then, but Adrien pretended like it was.

That was the odd power of nostalgia. He was missing a time he never thought he'd miss. Still, his childhood innocence of the past was much better than the present. Ignorance was bliss, that's how the expression went. Adrien had never believed that expression, ignorance was something his father's stock buyers had. And Adrien did not like stock buyers.

Now, he believed it. Ignorance was bliss, and god did he wish he was still ignorant.

He could hardly hear Ladybug's voice behind him.

"Adrien, are you okay? Adrien?" He heard her saying, rubbing his back.

"How do we know that you're not lying?" Adrien tried to shake off Ladybug, turning to Nathalie.

"I can bring you down to his lair if you'd like. I understand that I haven't given you any reason to trust me."

"Yeah, why the sudden change of heart, Mayura?" Ladybug folded her arms.

"I'm afraid I can't share that information with you, Ladybug." Nathalie remained as stoic as always.

"And why not?" Ladybug's hand hovered over her yo-yo.

"Because it will compromise something about Chat Noir. Something that you have wanted to keep secret for a very long time." Was it just Adrien being paranoid, or did Nathalie's eyes flicker over to him?

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ladybug narrowed her eyes.

"Nothing that you need to know, but believe me when I say it made me realize just who I was working for. I never approved of how he treated you, Adrien, but this crossed the line. I foolishly thought that maybe he would give up on Emilie, maybe he would train his attention on me. I was wrong, and you two paid for it. I can't apologize enough, and that's why I knew I had to contact you. Both of you." Nathalie looked between the two of them.

Adrien gulped. That confirmed his suspicions, Nathalie knew that he was Chat Noir.

"I'm still not convinced. Just what exactly do you know about my partner that you don't?"

"Ladybug, drop it. I believe her." Adrien glanced up at Nathalie, and she gave him a small smile. Adrien could only look away in return.

It was still too painful, thinking about what she did to them. She was Mayura, creating sentimonster after sentimonster to try and defeat them. She had once used his feelings for Ladybug to try and get his miraculous. Going crazy with love... (Adrien glanced at Ladybug) Adrien could understand that. But he used his powers for good, and she used her powers for evil.

He couldn't forgive her.

"So Gabriel Agreste is Monarch." Ladybug muttered. "That explains why Felix managed to get my yo-yo to him. He knew exactly where to find the man."

"I'm afraid so." Nathalie sighed. "I'm sorry I could not have the strength to come to you sooner. I can only hope you learning this now will save lives."

"I can't forgive you, Nathalie. You have hurt many, including myself and Adrien's. But you telling us proves you at least have a little heart." Ladybug let out a small smile.

"I don't expect forgiveness, or even a second chance. I trust that you will use this information well." Nathalie nodded.

The three of them were sat on Adrien's couch, with Nathalie standing in front of them. When she had walked in on him and Ladybug playing video games that morning, he hadn't expected this as the result.

His father was Monarch, Nathalie was Mayura, they wanted their miraculouses to bring back his mother. His mother had died because of extended use of the peacock miraculous. What she had been doing with it, Adrien wasn't sure. He had asked what she had used it for, and Nathalie had just frozen.

"Well, I don't know what we're waiting for. I can contact Chat Noir, and we should go down to his lair right now." Ladybug stood up from the couch. "We can get the strategic advantage because of the element of surprise. Maybe we could even get Felix to fight on our side again!" Ladybug looked around his room, forming a plan in his eyes.

"I would advise against that." Nathalie interrupted.

"Why?" Ladybug asked hesitantly, her eyes narrowing.

"I didn't want it to come to this. I didn't want to have to crush your spirits, but you have the right to know. Before you go down there, I need to let you two know about Gabriel Agreste's secret weapon." Nathalie's eyes darkened.

"S-secret weapon?" Adrien gulped.

He and Ladybug exchanged timid glances, as she slowly sat back down.

"Yes. And the reason why the peacock miraculous is broken, and why Emilie is in the state that she's in." Nathalie nodded. "This isn't a happy story, and I can only hope that Monarch won't take advantage of Adrien's negative emotions."

"I'll be ready." He grabbed Ladybug's hand, more for comfort than for anything.

"I promise if he tries to akumatize you, I will hunt him down, secret weapon or not." Ladybug vowed. "Besides, we have my yo-yo right here. I won't let any of his filthy butterflies touch you."

"T-thank you." Even though his world was crumbling at his feet, Ladybug still managed to make him smile.

If he was being honest, Gabriel Agreste being Monarch made sense. He always knew his dad wasn't the best, but something held him back from cutting ties with him. He believed that he was in mourning and that made everything okay. Even if he was neglectful and only spoke to him when he had something to complain about and overworked him, but he was mourning his wife! Now, learning that he was Monarch, Adrien finally let himself feel the anger he had been pushing down for years. Everything he had done, all the people he had hurt, it was unforgivable. He could not be Gabriel Agreste's son, not anymore.

Learning his mother had used the peacock miraculous and that was the cause of her disappearance, and that he was apparently in the basement, now that was a harder pill to swallow. His mother was the kindest woman that he knew. She allowed him to pick his extracurriculars, she encouraged him to start the piano and fencing, and would never miss a lesson. She read him bedtime stories and made him soup when he was sick. So learning that she was potentially some great villain? Yeah, it wasn't exactly great news to learn. But he still held onto hope. Maybe his mother used the brooch for good? So much good that it ended up killing her!

Wow, that sounded really messed up on paper, but Adrien supposed it was better than the alternative.

"Gabriel originally found the miraculous' seventeen years ago, on a trip to Tibet. He hadn't always used the miraculouses for evil. I had gone on the trip with them, which was how I discovered their powers." Nathalie began.

"When we got back to Paris, they instantly began to experiment with their powers. Emilie created sentimonsters as often as she could, normally to help out with housework. Gabriel and I trained our attention on the butterfly miraculous. Using me, he would create different akumas and powers." She continued, beginning to fidget with her hands.

"About a year after, they decided to try for a baby. That's when you came into their life, Adrien." Nathalie nodded to him. "But the way it happened, it wasn't exactly normal."

Ladybug and Adrien exchanged glances.

What did this have to do with Gabriel Agreste's secret weapon? And how was Adrien possibly being adopted related to that? He felt like he was missing something, and whatever he was missing was important. There were about five different pieces of the puzzle, and he was missing at least five more to create the full picture.

"They discovered after several months of trying that Emilie was unable to get pregnant, so they turned to other sources."

"So, I'm adopted?" Adrien felt nothing but relief at the news, now he really wasn't Gabriel Agreste's son. Although, what were the odds he looked so much like his adopted mother.

"No, adoption would've been the sane thing to do." Nathalie shook her head, rubbing her temples.

"Instead, they turned to the jewels that they had found in Tibet. Emilie had made many human like housemaids before, she knew that it was possible..."

Ladybug and Adrien sucked in harsh breaths. Adrien felt his hand tighten around Ladybug's.

Nathalie couldn't possibly be saying what he thought she was saying, right? She was probably just going to explain how the peacock miraculous helped her get pregnant. Maybe his father created an akuma that solved infertility. Yeah, that's totally it!

What Adrien didn't realize was that scenario was far more far fetched than the one Nathalie was implying. However, denial was a trap that few made their way out of.

"She decided to create a human being. After interrogating Duusu, Emilie learned that she could create a sentimonster that functioned like a human being. He could grow, talk, and think for himself. As long as she held the object and allowed it to have free will. She chose her and Gabriel's wedding rings." Nathalie continued, her face was obviously sympathetic, a small frown on her face.

Adrien's grip tightened on Ladybug.

"When Felix stole your father's ring, he also stole your amok. Your mother's ring held Felix's amok."

"Felix is a sentimonster?" Ladybug gasped.

"Yes, which explains why he took a special interest in the peacock miraculous." Nathalie continued to explain. "As a gift, Emilie gave him to her sister, who also couldn't get pregnant. That's why the two of you look identical, Adrien. You are both sentimonster's albeit both have free will. At least, your mother wanted to give you free will, Adrien. Now that your father holds your ring..."

"He could command me to do anything." Adrien realized. "If he figures out who I am, then I might as well be dead right now! He could kill me with a snap of his fingers, is killed even the right word? Do I even exist? Am I human? Obviously not, I'm a sentimonster! How many decisions have I made that were the will of my mother? The will of my father?" Adrien put his head in his hands, feeling his breath escape him.

Was it even breathing? He was a sentimonster! Did he function like a human? Did he even need to breath? To eat? To drink? How many lies about himself had he been told? How many lies about his own existence had he believed?

His family secretly being supervillains? Fine. Did it hurt? Yes, but at least it wasn't completely unbelievable. His father was a douchebag, and Nathalie was Nathalie. His mother apparently used the miraculous for good, but what was that good?

Apparently, his entire existence!

"Adrien, please breathe." He heard Ladybug yell, grabbing his shoulders. He looked up at her, focusing on her blue eyes. They were so, so, blue, so beautiful. Adrien could just drown in them. "Do you think you can breathe with me?" She asked. Adrien felt himself nodding. "Okay, ready? We'll breathe in and breathe out. Breathe in and breathe out." Ladybug inhaled and exhaled, and Adrien felt himself breathe with her. The deep breaths managed to break him from his spiral, but his mind was still buzzing.

His room came back into focus, and he saw Ladybug and Nathalie, wearing matching expressions of concern.

"I'm sorry Adrien, I didn't mean to freak you out. You are, in fact, human. It's just the way you were created was different. Emilie intended for both you and Felix to be human and so you two are humans. Just created by magic instead of a mother getting pregnant. You are human, Adrien. You think as your own being. You were simply created in a different way." Nathalie told him, reaching over to place a hand on his shoulder. She hovered over him, as if afraid to touch him.

"Okay." He said quietly, the voices in his head calming. "I think I'm okay now."

"Are you okay for us to move on?" Ladybug asked, putting an arm around him.

"Yeah, go ahead." He whispered quietly, cuddling into her.

"What I still don't understand is, if Emilie was able to create two sentimonsters that functioned as humans without harm, what broke the miraculous?" Ladybug asked carefully.

"It takes a lot of power to create a sentimonster like that, especially two of them. A sentimonster that you create normally doesn't have free will and can't think, speak, or act for themselves. To create two humans out of that magic takes too much out of a person. So Emilie did something incredibly stupid." 

"She decided it was a good idea to wear the butterfly miraculous as well and then akumatized herself to gain that power. It was too much for her to handle and as a result..." She trailed off.

"It broke the peacock miraculous." Ladybug whispered quietly. "A regular civilian using that much power, not even I have done that. I have put on many miraculouses, but I have never combined more than three of them."

"Same here." Adrien muttered, too lost in his thoughts to notice his slip up. "I've only ever worn two." He continued, digging his own grave even deeper.

"W-what?" Ladybug whispered, so quiet that Adrien almost didn't hear it.

"What?" Adrien tilted his head to the side, confused why she was giving him such a ghostly look.

"Adrien, you've only ever worn the snake miraculous." She said shakily.

Adrien looked down, only to realize that he wasn't transformed. With all the talk of superheroes and villains, he had naturally assumed he was Chat Noir. The way that Ladybug was just casually sitting next to him didn't exactly help either.

"The only other person besides me that has worn more than one miraculous is..." She gasped.

"Marinette wore one too." Adrien pointed out.

"How do you know her identity, Adrien? As far as I know, that information was only shared between three people." Ladybug narrowed her eyes.

"Damn it." He swore, looking away from Ladybug.

"And I would assume this was the thing you had discovered about Chat Noir?" Ladybug turned to face Nathalie.

"If you are talking about his identity, then yes." Nathalie nodded, letting the smallest of grins slip through.

"I knew it!" Ladybug yelled. "I knew that you knew his identity, and it would only make sense if it was Adrien, because why else would that make you quit? Not to mention they have the same heart of gold, humor, hair and eye color. Jesus Christ, just how oblivious was I?" Ladybug fell back onto the couch, gobsmacked.

"If it makes you feel any better, I did not discover it myself until I came into his room to inform him about a schedule change. He had transformed right in front of me, not knowing that I was there." Nathalie revealed, letting out a deep sigh.

"I would scold you for that, but honestly I'm too emotional to care right now." Ladybug pulled Adrien forward, tackling him in a hug. "You mean so much to me Adrien, okay? Never ever forget that. Above all else, you are my partner and you mean the world to me. I'm so, so, sorry about your dad. I can't even imagine what it's like to hear all of this about someone you knew and trusted. I just want you to know that I don't blame you. I could never, ever blame you for any of this. Gabriel Agreste was well off the suspect list after he pulled the whole 'I'm going to akumatize myself for this.' I'm sure it's even harder to look at someone you love and see a villain. I am here for you, Adrien. Today, tomorrow, and forever. Okay?" She pulled back to see tears forming in Adrien's eyes.

"But it is basically my fault." He whispered. "If my mother hadn't wanted a kid, if I hadn't been made, then she wouldn't have broken the peacock miraculous and fallen into a coma. And if that never happened, then we wouldn't have to deal with Monarch."

"No."

The two glanced at Nathalie, who had decided to speak up. The glare that she was sending Adrien sent shivers down his spine. He could believe that she was the fearsome super villain Mayura, ally to Hawkmoth or Shadowmoth or whatever his new name was. Yet there was something deeper in that glare. Anger yes, but Adrien didn't think it was directed at him.

"Emilie made her choice all those years ago. She could have adopted, she could have given up at any point. But she didn't. You cannot blame yourself for the actions of a troubled woman. I don't know why she was so desperate for a child or why she created two of them. It is absolutely not your fault." Nathalie directed her glare at his bedroom's door. "And even after she fell into her coma, Gabriel's actions are not something you can place on yourself. That man has lost himself in his grief. He is no longer the person I had fallen in love with. He is no longer the man that Emilie had loved. He is no longer the man you remember to be your father, Adrien."

"You can't blame yourself for Gabriel's actions, I promise you." Ladybug squeezed his hands. "That was an act of his own. He could have given up at any point, but he didn't. So please don't blame yourself, chaton. You owe it to yourself not to." She picked up her hand, caressing his cheek.

"Do you promise?" Adrien asked, so scared that he was going to break whatever was happening. So fragile that at any moment he could fall back into a spiral.

"I promise." Ladybug engulfed him in another hug.

"I will leave you two be. I trust that you will be responsible with this information." Nathalie nodded and began to walk out of the room.

"Nathalie?" Ladybug called before she could walk out the door.

"Yes, Ladybug?"

"I always knew you could do better than him." She gave her a smile, which Nathalie happily returned.

"Thank you." She pushed the door open, leaving Adrien and Ladybug alone.

A crying sentimonster in a broken home, in the arms of Paris' guardian angel, was about as far as "normal life" could get. But Ladybug would forever be grateful that she was there with Adrien when he learned he was a sentimonster.

What she hadn't known was that Bunnix was keeping a watch on them at all times. What she hadn't known was how many apocalypses she had just avoided, simply by comforting Adrien. That knowledge would come later, after Gabriel Agreste was rotting away in prison.

For now, Ladybug would comfort Adrien as he cried into her shoulder. Then, she was going to murder Gabriel Agreste. 

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Man, I was not in an angst mood today because this was very difficult to write. In other, happier, news: I am feeling much better! Thank you for all the well wishes. We have confirmed that it is not covid and our current theory is that the pressure change made my allergies act up.                                                                                                                                -Colorado