We Cry Together
♱
(tw: strong language, mentions of weed, and mentions of alcohol/underage drinking)

1 year ago ...

This is what the world sounds like.

     JJ Maybank loves Soleil Routledge like a starving man. When Soleil leaves the Outer Banks he is deprived of his oxygen. His life force. But a simple text or call from her is enough for his heart to beat again. One thing about JJ that Soleil noticed is he didn't cry at least not in front of her. He didn't want to be seen as weak because if he did he'd just hear his father's voice echoing in his head.

     This was the reason why he'd never beg for her no matter how heavy he felt the desperation in his chest. He didn't want to beg. He wished someday Soleil would wake up and see the way he looked at her. He wished she could feel his need for her. He wished she could feel the same hunger he suffered from. He begged in his head instead. Please, love me. Love me like I love you.

     Soleil never saw the hints. It wasn't like JJ had a bright, blinking sign above his head. Tonight was the night he realized that he'd probably never have what he wanted when he saw her lips on someone else. He felt physical pains in his chest as he watched and became naturally cold towards Soleil for the rest of the night. The party was over now and the chateau was completely trashed but it was quiet. Big John had gone to stay the night with his brother Thomas so they had the house to themselves. John B was asleep in the top bunk of his bed, Jett on the bottom, Pope on the floor next to him, and Marley and Kie on the couch.

     Soleil thought she was the only one still awake, putting all the alcohol away where it was supposed to be. She glanced through the window, seeing JJ sitting on the porch so she slowly walked to the front door, trying not to wake the girls on the couch. She glanced at them seeing how Marley's face was smushed into the back of Kiara's head and she chuckled to herself. They always joked about how no one could ever sleep next to Marley because she would always end up kicking you off the bed. She slipped on a pair of Marley's flip-flops as she stepped outside. "Hey." Every time JJ heard that sweet voice that belonged to Soleil, he melted. But he was upset right now so he had to ignore the feeling.

     "Hi." He avoided eye contact and took another sip of his beer. Soleil had smelt weed when she went out there and she noticed him drop the blunt on the ground and take it out with his heavy boot.

     "Uh, everyone's going to bed. We're gonna all clean the house together before I leave tomorrow. We're probably gonna listen to music and steal Big John's beer too." JJ's lack of a response made her feel even more uncomfortable. "You coming in?" She asked, changing the subject.

     JJ shook his head. "Nah, I might sleep in the hammock." One thing Soleil could always say is that she knew JJ Maybank like the back of her hand. She knew that whenever he got overwhelmed he would shake his leg, take his hat off, and stare at nothing as he became infected by his own thoughts. She knew he loved dogs but his dad never let him have one so she would try to convince her mom to let her bring hers on vacation so he could play with him. She knows that the only reason he wears cologne is because she always buys him a new one every summer. She knows he has a slight problem with touching everything in sight but she tries not to scold him for it. And she knows he doesn't make eye contact when he lies.

     She needed to get his attention in some way so she swiftly snatched the beer from his hand. JJ quickly stood up and Soleil ran behind him. He was taller than her and even when they were kids JJ would always have an advantage. She stood up on the couch he was sitting on, holding the beer above her head. JJ tried to grab her before she started to kick her feet. "What the fuck, Soleil!?"

     "What's wrong with you?"

     "Nothing. Just give me my beer back." JJ reached up to grab her hand.

     "No!" Soleil quickly pulled away. "JJ I've known you for almost 8 years I know when you're acting weird and you've been in a pissy mood all night. So tell me." JJ shook his head, not saying a word. "JJ, you're my best friend you can tell me anything."

     "That's a lie," JJ spoke quickly.

     It was like his words shot at her like a bullet. "Excuse me?"

     "I'm not your best friend. A best friend wouldn't throw me aside just so she could talk to some kook all night." He didn't care about his beer anymore he was mad. He just walked away from her and sat down on the chair by the door.

     "What the fuck are you talking about!?" Soleil stepped down and placed the can of beer down on the ground. "I wasn't talking to a kook."

     JJ scoffed. "Then who was that guy you were kissing?"

     Soleil rolled her eyes. "A touron and why do you care?"

     "I don't." He shot back.

     "You obviously do." He did but he didn't want to. "You hook up with people at parties all the time why is it different when I do it?" Soleil questioned but JJ stayed silent. "Huh?"

     "You don't know that guy he could've done something to you." JJ's jaw clenched.

     "All we did was kiss and we were out in the open."

     "I just thought that maybe my supposed best friend would want to hang out with me on her last day in town." His tone was condescending and it made Soleil angry.

     Soleil walked up to him and the way she was looking at him made JJ lean away from her. "Are you kidding me!?" She yelled. "First of all it was a party and you can't expect me to be glued to your side all night following you around. And I tried to talk to you. You ignored me. JJ, I can do whatever I want why are you yelling at me? You're acting like a jealous boyfriend!"

     There was too much truth behind those words and it made JJ too uncomfortable. "Just leave me, alone. I don't want to talk to you." He stood up from his chair.

     JJ tried to go back inside but Soleil grabbed his wrist, yanking it. "Why? What did I do!?"

     "Leave me alone, Soleil!" He looked back at her angrily and spoke through gritted teeth.

     She watched JJ go back inside and she stood on the porch, staring at the door. She was too uncomfortable to go back inside and see JJ because there weren't many hiding places in that small house. The next morning, John B found her asleep on the couch on the porch and the rest of the morning leading up to when she left the air was awkward.

     Soleil didn't call JJ when she was home and he didn't call her either. John B would ask if there was something wrong but, JJ always said everything was fine. He was never the type of guy to express his feelings in a good way and that would only hurt him later.

Stop tap-dancing around the conversation