I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. There was nothing special about it but I starred at it as if there's a hidden message on it.

Today was Jungkook's first day back to base and I actually told Jisoo that I would be late today. Something came up, was all I said. She didn't question it but told me to make sure I come in. I only have five more days training and I'll be off till my nursing exams.

I literally had to drag myself out of bed. I cried the whole night and I was scared to look myself in the mirror. Sure enough my eyes were red and puffy. My cheeks looks swollen and my skin look pale.

It took me 2 hours to get ready. Sure every 30 minutes I would sit down and let a tear fall. I was mad, I did everything I could to not think of Jungkook and my brother.

How the hell could Jungkook be normal around me and not mention my brother? How could he not feel guilt and pain for letting my brother take his spot? My brother died in that battle.

I don't give a damn if Jungkook was this good soldier everyone says he is. He is no one to me.

I walk towards base, to see the same routine. Soldiers working out, Sargent yelling and commanding lower ranks, nurses get their supplies ready, kitchen staff preparing food in the cafeteria base.

I eyes the base and my eyes subconsciously found him. He just got done talking to a few comrades and I assume he was ready to workout but I could tell by the state of his shirt, he hasn't worked out yet.

I took a deep breath and walked towards the medical center and was greeted by Rose.

"Lisa! Welcome back." Rose smiles widely.

I smile back but from Rose's confuse face, she was not satisfied with my state.

"What's wrong?" She asked. I shook my head. "Oh something is wrong. You aren't even saying anything."

I gave her a light chuckle, "I promise I am fine."

Just then, I felt someone's presence in the medical tent. Rose's eyes went to the person behind me and smiles.

"Comrade Jimin! It's good to see you." Rose exclaim. My heart relax as the mention of only Jimin.

I noticed Jisoo coming towards us, "You too comrade Jungkook." When she was next to us, she slightly nudges Rose for ignoring Jungkook.

My eyes widen at the thought of Jungkook being here. It too early to be in his presence.

"Of course I saw Jungkook." Rose slightly blushes. "Anywho, what are you two doing here?"

"I am here to bring Jungkook to make sure he clear for duty." Jimin tells Jisoo.

"Ahh yes." Jisoo looks over to me. I silently begged her not to call me. But I can see the confusion in her face, and she didn't hear my silent begging. "Lisa will do assessment, while I observe." She then turn to Jungkook and Jimin. "Comrade Jungkook you can go to bed 3, and Jimin...." she pauses and she notices Jimin and Rose starring at one another. "I guess you found yourself a way to keep yourself company." Jisoo mumbles.

Jungkook walk pass me, and I can smell his familiar fruity smell. I did my best for it not to distract me. Jisoo eyes me with curiosity as I stood at my spot. She flex her fingers in telling me to follow her as she follows Jungkook to be 3.

Jungkook was on the bed, He was unbuttoning his shirt so I can see his shoulders. I stood there watching him. It's not the first time I have seen him shirtless but it's the first time, I actually wanted to run away. I was paralyzed at my spot, till I heard Jisoo cough.

Both Jungkook and I turn to Jisoo. She tilt her towards Jungkook, telling me to do my evaluation. Call me a whiny baby but I really didn't want to do this. But I know I have to.

I slowly walk to Jungkook, avoiding eye contact. I reach for his arm, stretched it out, turn it and ask if it felt okay. He mumbles a yes. I felt around his shoulder blaze, to see if any pressure hurts. Nothing! The man was fine. I assume I am supposed to be happy but I wanted to see a little pain.

"Lay down." I tell him.

He does as I tell him. I felt his front shoulder area in a different angle.

"Can we talk?" I hear him asking in a low voice.

My eyes shifted to him for a second. I was surprise that he was already looking at me.

"How does that feel?" I ask him.

I noticed a small glare on his face. I raise a brow at him, I know he is not glaring at me when I am the one who is suppose to be mad. He noticed where he was wrong, he clears his throat.

"I mean, about what happen yesterday."

"You can sit up." I tell him, ignoring his words.

"Lisa, please." He ask as he sat up.

I went towards Jisoo to get my stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. I can see Jisoo looking at me with a weird look. I ignored it and went back to Jungkook.

I check his blood pressure. It was in normal range.

"Lisa, you can't ignore me. We have to talk." I heard a huff. "We need to talk."

I put my stethoscope and listen to his lungs. "Take a deep breath." He did what I told him. We repeated this three times. I listen to his heart now. Before I was done, I felt his hand on my wrist.

I immediately look up and his eyes bored into mines. He didn't say anything at first. I felt his warm big hands on me, and my breath began to become heavy.

"Lisa, I know you don't trust me. And you shouldn't. I deserve this, but can we at least talk about it."

My eyes couldn't move away from his. I can tell from his eyes and his voice, he really feels bad and wants to explain.

Deep down I want an explanation but I wasn't ready for it now. I needed time.

I took a step back, and his hands fell down into his lap. All the hope he had in his eyes went away.

"He is ready for duty." I tell Jisoo. But my eyes never left his. "I....ummm..." I clear my throat. I smile at Jungkook, "You are healing very well. You may need to rest easy on some workout routines but only for 3 days tops." I turn to Jisoo. "You can evaluate my observation."

Jisoo eyes went to me then Jungkook. Her mouth opens, then closes. She shook her head and smiles, "No need. Lisa, write your recommendations on certified notepad, so he can give it to Sargent Namjoon."

I did what I was told, and left the tent. I can hear Jisoo talking to Jungkook. I heard whispers and a few slap, and Jungkook saying ouch. They were silently arguing, but not quiet enough.

Jungkook came out of bed 3, dress for duty. He looks at me with hopeful eyes again.
I hand him the paper. Before he leaves I stop him.

"My brother was my best friend. He was my rock and strength."

"I know he was. And you were the same to him." Jungkook tells me.

"Then why did he leave me?" I noticed the hesitation in Jungkook. He didn't have a explanation. He didn't have my brothers reason, and if he did he wasn't going to tell me. I shook my head. "Just leave." I saw him taking a step towards me. "Leave Jeon Jungkook. I am begging you. Leave."

He hesitated but he left.