Kendall

When I step out of Destiny's truck in the student parking lot of Lincoln Central the next day, I can already feel the stares coming from my fellow students. I can hear the murmured questions that they ask each other when their eyes connect with my body. Where was she? Was she sick? What happened? Are her and Josh actually over? Did he really cheat on her?

I don't bother answering them, acting as if I don't even hear them at all. But I do hear them and I can answer all of their questions. Where was I? I was at home, in my bedroom, only leaving to get food from the kitchen just down the single hallway. Was I sick? Not medically sick, unless heartbroken is a sickness these days, but more mentally and emotionally sick. What happened? I couldn't take it anymore and I needed a break. I couldn't stand the thought of going to school and having to see everyone after the blow up in the hallway on Monday. I didn't think I'd be able to go to a lacrosse practice without bursting into tears. It was that field that started it all with Josh. It was those bleachers that ended it all. It was that pointless storage room that I was attacked in. I didn't want to see any of it and I didn't want to hear about any of it. Are Josh and I actually over? Yes. I can't forgive him right now. I may never be able to forgive him. Did he really cheat on me? Unless I've gone crazy and have started seeing things, yes, he did.

"These people are so nosy and rude," Destiny says as we enter the school building.

I nod my head in agreement, not wanting to talk yet. I haven't all morning and I can tell it's upsetting my best friend. She's worried about me and I know I'm not being fair to her by reassuring her that I'm ready to come back to school, but I just can't do it. I keep opening my mouth for words to come out, but nothing ever escapes my lips.

A sudden loud crash echoes through the hall from behind the two of us and I turn around to see what it is. The noise itself is unmistakeable and can be heard surprisingly often. It's the sound of somebody getting slammed in to the metal lockers lining the walls. The only mystery that comes from hearing it is who the slammed is and who the slammer is.

"What the hell Josh?" Todd asks. His back is up against the metal doors and Josh is holding him there, pressing his hands in to Todd's shoulders to ensure he doesn't squirm his way out of his grip.

"Did you seriously think I wasn't going to find out?" Josh hisses.

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about so don't even try to act all innocent you douche!"

"Did he tell you or did you figure it out?" Todd asks. His voice lowers down to a volume that is merely above a whisper. He looks down at the linoleum floor and then over to his right. I see Jessica standing them, her petite body trembling at the sight before her.

"He told me about my mom and about the boy and girl from school that were in on it. Gave me a few hints and then it was clear as freaking day exactly who he was talking about."

Todd raises his eyes back up to Josh's before he speaks again. "I swear, we didn't know that what happened on Saturday was going to happen. We never would have agreed to helping him with his plan if we had known. I knew he was crazy, but not like that. I didn't know he was going to take it that far."

The small crowd that has formed around the three of them exchange confused glances with each other. They have no clue what is going on or what happened on Saturday, but I do. If what I'm thinking is right, Todd and Jessica were in on it. And Josh's mom? I guess it makes sense, but why? What could have possibly been worth this?

"We were just supposed to scare you guys," Jessica says. "We were going to break you two up so that you'd play tougher but then Todd and I planned how we were going to get you back together again."

"Well great job you two. The first part of your stupid plan worked out. The second half may not and I can never forgive you for that."

"I'm so sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. We didn't know anything about her," Todd says.

"Well it did happen this way and apologizing won't help anything." Josh removes his hands from Todd, causing him to slump forward a little before straightening back up. "You're lucky we're in school or else I'd beat the shit out of you."

Josh turns around and pushes his way through the crowd that I have found myself in the front row of. I don't know how I got here and I don't know where Destiny went, but here I am. I'm watching this spectacle in front of me and I don't know what to make of it.

Todd's green eyes meet mine and widen as if he is a child whose hand has just been caught in the cookie jar. "Kendall..."

I can feel the gazes of everyone in the audience move over to me at the sound of my name and I'm suddenly over aware of the hot tears that are rolling down my cheeks. I swipe at them, not wanting anyone to know that it was me Josh and Todd were talking about in the argument. It's a stupid thought to have at the moment because anyone with a sixteenth of a brain could've figured out that it was me.

I find myself walking toward Todd and Jessica. I'm not sure why at first but once I reach them, my intentions are crystal clear.

"You will tell me everything you know on the bleachers right now. I don't care if it takes all day. It will happen and it won't wait."

Jessica opens her mouth as if to say something, but then changes her mind and shuts it. She gives a curt nod of her head as she guides me through the crowd of students, Todd following closely behind, and out of the school.

*****

Todd is the first one to start talking when we sit on the first row of the cool bleachers near the lacrosse field. An unseasonably cold wind lifts my hair off my shoulders and raises goosebumps on the parts of my arms that aren't covered by my t-shirt.

"Michael approached us after our last playoff game against Philadelphia. He told us who he was, what team he played for, and that he had a plan that would help one of us and hurt the other. He didn't know which way it would work out until it had been completed.

"He basically said that he wanted to break you and Josh up. It would help us if it made the two of you angry. You would play tougher and harder than you ever have before. It would help him if it made you two sad. That way you would play softer and with your mind somewhere else. Whichever way it affected you, it would determine who would win the championship."

"And it was worth it to you? I thought you were our friends but maybe I was wrong about that. Friends certainly don't use friends' relationships as pawns in some twisted game to win a stupid trophy," I say.

"At first we didn't agree," Jessica continues. "We said that Michael was crazy and that we weren't willing to hurt our friends for him. But then came the blackmail. Michael pulled out his phone and showed a picture of a nude I sent to a boy a while ago. He threatened to sell it to an online porn site and spread it around the internet."

Todd then explains what Michael had on him. "He found out about something from my family's past that I don't talk about and that I don't want people to know about. He said that he would tell everyone about it and that's when we agreed to help him."

"What did he know?" I ask. "You promised to tell me everything and I want to know what was so important for you to hide that you let all of this happen!"

Todd closes his eyes, as if to will away the memory, and Jessica squeezes his hand. "My dad used to sexually assault my little sister and me. When my mom found out, she got him sent to jail, changed our last name so he wouldn't ever be able to find us, and moved us to Pittsburgh to get away."

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you tell me that." I regret asking him. I shouldn't have. I understand now why he would want to keep that private. A week ago, I wouldn't have. But today, after the scrimmage, I do. It's embarrassing. It makes you feel violated to even just talk about it. This whole situation seems more real to me now and I know that I wasn't the only one hurt throughout this. Obviously Josh was also hurt, but so were Jessica and Todd.

"All he told us about his plan was to try to make the two of you break up in any way we could. He didn't tell us what he was going to do and we didn't ask. We started trying to think of ways that we could cause a rift between Josh and you without it being so big that it wouldn't be able to be closed. So we planned the What Are The Odds thing to try to get you and Todd to kiss. We hinted the game to Rachel to get her to suggest it and we decided on a number that we would both day to ensure that it happened. We knew this would make Josh really jealous and he'd get unreasonable," Jessica explains. "After that, we planned on just letting you two fight until you made up."

"There were other things that Michael had us help him with. Like on Friday he made us slip notes into your lockers. We weren't allowed to read them, so we didn't know what they were. He had us spray paint the lockers for who-knows-what reason. But I swear, anything else that happened, we had nothing to do with. We would never do anything that bad to you," Todd says.

"I believe you guys. I don't know if I can forgive you quite yet, but I believe what you said is true and I think that if I had been in your position, I would've done the same thing." I stand up to walk back into the school, but Jessica's voice stops me.

"And Kendall," she says. "Find some way to forgive Josh. Whatever happened on Monday, it clearly wasn't his fault. You two have something special together and I don't want to see that end."

I nod my head in response and then leave them sitting there.

Too much has happened too soon and I don't know what to think yet. I think I forgive Josh for Monday, but I'm not sure yet. It's what happened Saturday night that caused me to leave his house early that I can't forgive him for yet. That kiss had nothing to do with Michael Corbin or lacrosse or Jessica or Todd or anything. It was just Josh.