#LGS1ComeHere #LGS1Epilogue #LaGrilla1

***

"I'M glad you came," ani Imee habang pinanonood ang pag-upo ni Ava sa silya na katapat ng kaniya sa isang restaurant.

It had been eight years already since the last time they've met. Yet, Ava Milano-Hermano did not lose her airy touch. She wore her best diamond drop earrings and had her long wavy brunette hair tied up in a bun. Nakasuot ito ng puting halter dress at itim na flat, strap sandals.

Imee sat face to face with her in her white blouse and high-waist jeans. Naka-high ponytail ang lagpas-balikat niyang buhok.

Dinama ni Imee ang Ganileo gold chain sa leeg niya, pero natigilan siya nang hindi ito nakapa.

Nakalimutan niyang hindi na nga pala sa kaniya ang kuwintas na iyon. Nasanay kasi siya na hinahawakan ito kapag nag-iisip siya kung ano ang dapat o magandang sabihin.

Napabuntonghininga na lang siya.

"I'll always show up for you, Imee," maaliwalas na tugon ni Ava sa kaniya nang makaupo na ito. "Ikaw ang naging karamay ko noong nasa Hacienda Hermano pa ako at hindi pa kami nagkakatuluyan ni Jamer. Ikaw ang unang nag-welcome sa bagong-salta na tulad ko. Ipinakilala mo ako sa mga tao ro'n."

Imee nodded.

"Bago ko tanungin kung bakit mo 'ko pinapunta rito, may gusto akong malaman mo."

At ikinuwento sa kaniya ni Ava ang isang parte ng kanilang nakaraan . . .

***

PAGBALIK ni Ava sa bahay nilang magnanay ay nahirapan itong makatulog. The restlessness brought the woman to the balcony of their house's lounge area on the second floor. With her wavy hair down and her pink silk robe wrapped around her body, she called a number and lifted the smart phone close to her ear.

Leo answered her call while he was lying on his bed, half-wasted because of too much beer.

"Ano na naman?" he moaned painfully because of the soft pounding on his head.

"Leo, kailangan ko ng balita tungkol sa death threats ko."

"Why the fuck are you asking that now? I am not in the mood for anything."

"Just answer me, Leo," Ava gritted.

Walang-malay si Ava na nasa likuran na pala nito si Melissa at tahimik na nakikinig. She was carrying a white mug of warm milk, dressed in her ivory white silk pajamas.

"Huwag ka nang mahiya," nanggigigil na patuloy ng dalaga, "dahil sinabi na sa 'kin ni Mama ang lahat. Alam ko na puro panloloko lang ang mga ipinaramdam ni Jamer sa 'kin kaya sagutin mo 'ko! Ipaliwanag mo sa 'kin ang tungkol sa death threats!"

"Fuck," he muttered before he disconnected the call.

Hindi pa naibababa ni Ava ang smart phone ay tinabihan na ito ng nanay nito.

"Ava, please, don't be so hard on Leo. You know that he is and will always be your friend. Wala siyang ibang inisip kundi ang ikabubuti mo."

"Oh, really, Ma?" nagpupuyos nitong harap sa ina. Tila maibubunton na nito sa ginang ang init ng ulo. "If he really cares about me, bakit nila pinagplanuhan ni Jamer na lokohin ako? What a bunch of misogynists! They can't accept the fact that there's women like me who are never interested with having a baby! So what did they do? They tried to change my mind! That Jamer has been secretly planning to impregnate me. He placed himself in an authoritative position, as my boss, so that he can manipulate our encounters and make me like him! Kakasuhan ko talaga sila, Ma! Kakasuhan ko sila! It doesn't matter if this will hurt Imee! Makabubuti na rin sa kan'ya na mailayo ko siya sa walanghiyang Leo na 'yon!"

"Please, don't press charges against, Leo." Nahihiyang napayuko ng ulo si Melissa. "I'm so sorry, anak, but this is really all my fault."

Bahagyang natigagal si Ava sa narinig. "A-Ano?"

"I just want Leo to help set you up with an honorable man to marry. With a man who will love you, too. Jamer used to be in the military, so I thought, he'll be a fine candidate to be your husband." Melissa looked away, seemingly embarrassed. "B-But I swear, wala sa usapan namin na pilitin kang mabuntis o anuman!"

"Why . . . Why did you do this?" Ava could not help a frustrated groan. "Ma! Why?"

"I think I just trusted Leo way too much. Ang usapan lang namin, tulungan kang makahanap ng lalaki na mamahalin ka at magmamahal sa 'yo, so that you can finally marry and get your inheritance from your father! It's just me, hoping that you'll have it all, anak . . . A man who loves you and the money to save Casa Milano! That's all!"

"Dahil sa sinabi mo, I already got the feeling that those death threats aren't real too. That Leo did those himself so that he can manipulate me to go to that goddamn Jamer's farm!" Galit na tumalikod ang dalaga sa ina nito.

"I really don't know that Leo did those death threats. Humingi lang ako ng tulong sa kan'ya, but I swear, I didn't have the faintest idea that this is how he executed everything! Please, believe me, anak!" tila makaawa ng boses ng ginang. "We're also running out on money, so please, h'wag mo nang ituloy ang pagdedemanda na 'yan. . . . I already talked to Leo. He's willing to take responsibility for this inconvenience, for hurting you. He doesn't mind marrying you, Ava. Kasal lang sa papel, para makuha mo na ang mana mo mula sa tatay mo at magamit sa pagsalba sa Casa Milano. You can get an annulment after five or six years. Anak, please, look at me!"

Humihingal sa galit na tumanaw lang si Ava sa labas ng balkonahe. Napahawak ito sa pisnging nasampal kanina ni Imee at napaisip. 'Leo probably broke up with Imee, too, and told her that he's marrying me, Ava Milano. . . .' She smiled, pained yet contented. 'I deserve this. I deserve being slapped by my friend. And this is not yet enough for the pain she's getting from me, from Leo. Dapat nagpasabunot na rin ako sa kan'ya.'

Ava's thoughts slowly calmed her down. With soft eyes, she dropped her hands to her sides and glanced back at Melissa who got startled from enjoying her mug of milk. Her mother seemed to lick her smile away with the milk on the top of her lips before she gave her a helpless smile and a pleading gaze in the eyes.

'Kahit nag-backfire ang lahat ng plano ni Mama para sa akin, alam kong mabuti naman ang intensiyon niya. Inaalala lang n'ya ako. Kahit na p'wede naman ako makipagkasal-kasalan sa ibang lalaki para makuha ang mamanahin ko, ayaw niya pa rin akong matali sa taong hindi naman talaga ako mahal. Napilitan tuloy s'yang humingi ng tulong kay Leo na hanapan ako ng makaka-date.'

"Fine," buntonghininga ni Ava. "I will marry Leo."

Melissa smiled wider, full of hope. "O, anak, sigurado ka ba na okay lang? We can look for another man if you like—"

"Why waste my time with men? Mabuti nang si Leo ang pakasalan ko para makapagbayad s'ya sa ginawa n'ya sa 'kin." Then Ava wordlessly stepped forward, walking past Melissa to get to her bedroom. 'Para maparusahan ko na rin siya dahil sa ginawa n'ya kay Imee. He never loved her at all, so he might as well never be loved too. Forever. And maybe, he should be tortured by being held back by his married status from being with the woman he'll love in the future, if it is even possible for a playboy like him to love someone truly.'

***

Warning: 🚫
Conversations about trauma, triggers, abuse

"YOU'VE been a good friend to me," pagtatapos ni Ava. "You're innocent about all of this and I'm aware of that, that's why I never got mad at you for getting angry, for slapping me. Hindi lang kita ma-approach pagkatapos ng mga nagyari, no'ng nagbalik ka sa hacienda, dahil . . . para na kayong 'buy one, take one' ni Leo. I'm avoiding him, so sadly, I have to avoid you too."

Natutuwa man siya sa narinig ay hindi naman siya makangiti. "Kung alam ko lang na 'yan ang saloobin mo, sana pala dati pa kita niyayang makipagkita."

Ava shook her head once and smiled gently. "No. It's alright if it took you years. Life happened, you know. Ako rin, naging abala sa buhay may-asawa, kaya nauunawaan ko."

"Maunawaan mo rin sana si Leo. You shouldn't hate him for what happened between him and . . ." She had second-thoughts but took courage to mention it. ". . . Melissa." She swallowed, made sure she stayed composed before resuming. "Sinubukan naman niyang makabawi sa 'yo mula sa ginawa niyang gulo sa buhay mo. Alam mo rin ba na tinatakot siya ni Melissa? He wanted to stop her but she—"

"I know," Ava interrupted. "Please, h'wag mo na banggitin kung ano mismo ang ginawa ni Mom sa kaniya. I . . . I still can't bear it."

Hindi na siya nakapagsalita dahil may waiter na lumapit sa kanila. Ipinagsalin sila nito ng tubig sa water goblet at tinanong ang kanilang mga order bago umalis.

Nagpatuloy si Ava. "No'ng gabing nagalit ako kay Leo, umuwi rin no'n si Jamer. He saw what a wreck I have been and asked me what happened. I told him what happened to us that night, so Jamer told me everything."

"Kasama sa mga sinabi n'ya 'yong pinagdaanan ni Leo?"

"Oo," mapait nitong ngiti habang titig na titig sa kaniyang mga mata. "Pero noong mga panahong 'yon, sariwa pa ang sakit. Hindi pa rin maalis-alis sa dibdib ko ang sama ng loob kaya hindi ko kinausap mula no'n si Leo."

"But he's your best friend. You are like a sister to him. Nag-reach out ka sana. Inunawa mo man lang sana s'ya."

"It's so easy to say, Imee. E, ikaw nga hindi mo 'yon nagawa no'ng nakita mo ang sex video ni Leo, 'di ba?"

That comeback was brutal. Hindi na nagawa pa ni Imee na umimik ukol sa sinabi nito.

"There comes a point in your life when you hate a person so much that you can't bear to hear any explanation from them. They did you wrong and you feel like, no other reason can justify it, so why waste time to hear them out? You just don't have time to tolerate shit, so you simply get them out of your life because that's easier." Ava picked up her water goblet, took a little sip, and returned her eyes on her. "But now, I'm ready ro reconnect with the two of you. I'm done taking the easy way, and want to do the right thing, even if it might be hard for the three of us. How's Leo?"

"Okay naman s'ya."

"What about his trauma?"

"He's still seeing his therapist," Imee lowered her eyes. Mas naging maingat na siya sa ikukuwento dahil ang priority niya rito ay sabihin lang kay Ava kung ano ang okay para kay Leo na malaman ng ibang tao. "I mean, with or without trauma, I think it's a good idea for lawyers like us to see a therapist every once in a while right? May dulot din kasi na emotional at mental stress dkahit papaano ang mga sensitibong kaso ma hinahawakan namin."

Ava nodded in agreement and smiled faintly.

"Ang akala ko noon, katulad ng sa mga pelikula ang proseso ng therapy para sa sitwasyon ni Leo. Na kung determinado siyang na maka-move on, na kung talagang mahal n'ya ako ay automatic na gagaling siya agad. Dapat ay mawala 'yong trauma n'ya o ang alinman sa mga senyales nito.

"Pero hindi.

"Ideally, a person has to heal in order to be an ideal partner. But I have learned from being by Leo's side all these years that sometimes, you have to embrace a person along with their trauma.

"Kailangan kong yakapin ang naging epekto ng trauma n'ya sa kan'yang ugali at mga kilos dahil may mga epekto ang isang trauma na hindi basta-basta mababago o maaalis sa isang tao."

"Isn't that toxic? Destructive?"

"I can't speak for everyone, but does Leo hurt me when I embrace him? No."

Ava confusedly nodded.

"It's the same thing with embracing Leo along with his trauma. Embracing him gives him the warmth he needs. That warmth that reminds him that people like his family, his friends from La Grilla and Batangas, and Jared, believe in him, believe that he'll make it soon. Being reminded of that, stops him from being destructive to others, to himself. . . . Making him feel loved despite of what he went through, helps him keep going Ava." Then, Imee lowered her head. Tama na siguro ang pagbabahagi niya ng mga detalye tungkol kay Leo. "Hindi lang pala pagbabati ninyo ni Leo ang ipinunta ko rito. I also want to know where Melissa is."

Sumama ang timpla ng mukha ni Ava, pero pinili nitong manatiling kalmado. Nilaro-laro nito ang hawak na goblet.

"About that . . . woman. She's rotting in Bicol." Pailalim na sinulyapan siya ni Ava. "Why?"

Imee shrugged and picked up her water goblet. "Wala. Malayo pa pala ang pupuntahan ko."

"Chill your ass," ngisi nito. "Bakit mo pa s'ya pupuntahan? Nakuha na n'ya ang nararapat sa kan'ya. Don't dirty your hands just to personally serve someone's karma, specifically a bad one."

"But I won't be silenced if I don't see that woman," Imee said with finality. "Malaki ang atraso n'ya kay Leo."

Ilang minuto pa at dumating na ang in-order nilang pagkain. Habang kumakain ay pinag-usapan nina Imee at Ava ang mga detalye kung paano matutunton ang tirahan ni Melissa sa Bicol.

Pagkatapos nilang kumain na naunang tumayo si Imee. "Thank you for your time, Ava. See you around."

At iniwanan na niya ito.

***

Warning: 🚫
Conversations about Abuse, Trauma

LUMAPAG na ang chopper sa malawak na bakuran ng resthouse ni Curtis Saavedra sa Bicol.

Curtis looked dashing with the top half of his black polo unbuttoned and a pair of blue tattered jeans with his black shoes. Katabi ito ni Imee sa backseat ng itim na private chopper.

"P'wede mo ba akong ipag-drive?" lingon niya kay Curtis pagkalayo nila sa binabaang chopper.

Natawa lang ang lalaki sa kaniya. "Ibang klase ka talaga, Dancer. This international fashion model, ginawa mong chaffeur?"

"Come on," suot ni Imee sa dark-tinted sunglasses niya. "You know the place, so take me there."

"Of course," akbay nito sa kaniya. "Ikaw naman, hindi mabiro."

All these years, Leo still didn't consider Curtis as a friend; but Imee herself encouraged him to let the latter treat him as his friend then. Mukhang hindi naman kasi big deal din kay Curtis kung hindi mutual ang feelings ng isang tao para dito.

Magaan na rin ang loob ni Imee kay Curtis dahil kung hindi dahil sa pagiging pakialamero nito noon ay hindi siya maiaalis ni Leo sa delikadong mundo na aksidente niyang pinasok dahil sa desperasyong mabuhay, makapagtago, at magkaroon ng trabaho—ang Atlantis at ang iba pang underground stripper's club.

Imee and Curtis used one of the vintage cars in the resthouse. Medyo matagal din ang naging biyahe nila kaya nagulat si Imee nang itigil ni Curtis ang sasakyan sa tapat ng malaking ancestral house.

The two-storey house was a worn-out Spanish-era abode. It was made of stone on the ground floor, and wood on the hugely ventilated second floor.

'Ito na nga ba talaga ang lugar na sinasabi ni Ava sa 'kin?'

"That's where a certain Melissa Milano lives now, as per my source," Curtis announced, peeking from behind her. He was behind the steering wheel, next to Imee. "It looks like a haunted house, though. Why do you need to visit her anyway? Bakit hindi 'to dapat malaman ni Leo?"

Pinili niyang huwag sagutin ang tanong nito, bilang respeto na rin ito kay Leo. Kung alam kasi nina Claude ang tungkol sa trauma ni Leo, si Curtis ay hindi. Pinagbigyan siya ni Leo na papasukin sa buhay nila si Curtis, pero hindi pa ito pumapayag na ipaalam dito ang tungkol sa traumatic experience nito.

Binuksan na ni Imee ang pinto ng kotse at nilingon si Curtis. "Saglit lang ako. Dito mo na 'ko mismo hintayin."

Curtis placed a hand on her shoulder. "Well, whatever or whoever brings you here, I hope you stay clear-headed. Okay?"

"H'wag lang akong ipo-provoke," nakakakilabot niyang ngiti.

Bumaba na siya mula sa sasakyan at pinindot ang doorbell na katabi ng gate mismo ng bahay. Eventually, she wondered if it was still working. Ilang minuto na kasi ang lumipas pero wala pang lumalabas mula sa bahay para pagbuksan siya ng gate.

Imee placed a hand on her neck, trying to feel that Ganileo necklace.

'Oo nga pala,' she sighed at the thought that that necklace didn't belong to her anymore . . .

"Ano'ng ginagawa mo rito?"

Napalingon si Imee sa tabi niya. She saw a woman with a messy hair bun, carrying a cloth bag filled with groceries.

"Melissa?"

Imee hardly recognized Ava's mother. She was still slim and there were still traces of how pretty and refined she looked, but it seemed like she dropped all her extreme efforts to stay young-looking. Hindi na ito nagme-makeup. Hindi na rin akma sa sukat ng katawan nito ang suot na oversized na bestida. Mukha itong haggard, malalim na nakaguhit ang pagod sa mukha nito.

Surprisingly, Melissa let her get inside the house. She didn't seem to notice Curtis inside the vintage car, leaving him outside uninvited.

Inikot ni Imee ang mga mata sa living room na kasalukuyang kinatatayuan. Maraming family portraits na nakasabit dito, isa na roon ang picture ni Melissa kasama si John at ang musmos pa noon na si Ava.

Bumalik si Melissa mula sa kusina kung saan nito iniwan ang mga pinamili. Umupo ito sa sofa katapat ng kinauupuan ni Imee. Mahangin at bukas ang mga bintana, pero medyo madilim pa rin sa living room na nasa ikalawang palapag ng bahay.

"Ano'ng kailangan mo?" This was finally Melissa's cold welcome. "You are Leo's ex-girlfriend, right?"

Napangisi na lang si Imee. Masakit masyado sa pandinig niya ang terminong 'ex-girlfriend.' Pero ano ba ang magagawa niya? Totoo rin naman ang sinabi nito.

She was already Leo's ex-girlfriend. . . .

"I just want to see you. I want to know where you are already rotting," matapang niyang wika sa mababang tono. "Most of all, I have to make sure that you're really rotting in hell."

Inekis nito ang mga braso at ngumisi lang. "Why? Are we already in the same hell, Leo's ex?"

Pagak na tinawanan lang ito ni Imee. Sa kabila kasi ng lahat, hindi pa rin tinatapon ng matandang kaharap niya ang masama nitong ugali.

"Mabuti na lang, masama pa rin ang ugali mo. Hindi na ako mahihirapan kung patatawarin ka o hindi dahil sa awa."

"You're so smug, woman. I don't need your forgiveness. I don't need your pity."

"Siyempre, dahil kay Leo ka naman may atraso. Hindi sa akin."

"Just tell me, how are you now? Can't make Leo forget me? Kaya narito ka at umuusok ang ilong sa galit?" she laughed cruelly.

"I won't answer that because I want to keep you guessing," sagot ni Imee, hindi man lang natitinag sa kaniyang kaharap. "I want you to be as clueless as I was when you showed me the video that started the ruin of my relationship with Leo."

"So, narito ka para gumanti." Natawa ito. "Ano pa ang igaganti mo? Nakuha na ni Ava ang lahat sa akin. Natanggap ko na ang karma ko kaya kahit ano'ng gawin mo ngayon sa akin, wala nang talab 'yon, babae!"

Imee could not help staring at the woman with amusement and contempt, realizing that she was already a hopeless case. Her lack of remorse was so unbelievable!

Inilahad nito ang mga braso. "Ano pa ang inuupo mo riyan? Gusto mo 'ko sampalin? Gusto mo 'ko patayin? Gawin mo na!" she challenged, laughing at her mockingly.

Disbelief engulfed Imee at the sight of the wretched woman's behavior. Naaalala pa rin niya ang pagdurusa ni Leo noon. Naaalala pa rin niya ang sex video at kahit papaano, may kurot pa rin sa puso niya ang mga alaalang iyon. Kaya paano? Paano'ng hindi tinatalaban ang Melissa na ito ng mga pang-aabusong ginawa nito noon?

Tumayo na lang si Imee. "I just came here to see you. Aalis na 'ko."

Tinawanan lang siya nito. "Ano? Aalis ka kasi hindi ka makaganti? Akala ko, gaganti ka? Na-realize mo na ba na kahit ano'ng gawin mo sa 'kin hindi mo na makakabalikan si Leo, ha?"

Nilingon lang ito ni Imee at nginitian. Gumuhit ang pagkabigla at pagkadismaya sa mga mata ni Melissa bago ito nang-aasar na tinawanan siya.

"Sorry ka na lang, babae! He can't be with you because he can't forget me! Oh, how can he forget me? I gave him the best sex in fucking three years of his life!"

Napakuyom ang mga kamao niya sa narinig. Nanginig ang nakangiti niyang mga labi at napalitan ng nakakikilabot na galit.

"Hindi ka nakulong kaya hindi ka talaga nagsisisi sa mga ginawa mo, 'no?" nagtitimpi niyang tanong.

"Why should I? I fucked him almost everyday! He made me laugh in our videos! It was worth it! This hell is worth it! What is to be regretful about that? At kahit tapos na akong magpakasasa sa kan'ya, nakasunod pa rin siya sa paanan ko at sunod-sunuran sa mga utos ko! Nasira lang naman ang ugnayan namin dahil pagkakamali ko na idinamay kita! You should have stayed innocent!"

Pinigilan niya ang masuka sa pandidiri sa mga sinabi nito. "Not me! It's Leo who should have stayed innocent when he was sixteen! But what did you do? You fucked him when he was drunk, a defenseless minor! You guilt-tripped him and he believed your lies because he used to be an innocent teen who didn't know any better yet! Gagamitin mong excuse ang pagbibigay n'ya ng consent at ang age of consent noong nangyari ang krimen ay 12 years old, kaya hindi ka n'ya mapakulong! Ii-invalidate mo ang claims n'ya dahil walang physical evidence at wala s'yang maalala noong una mo s'yang pinagsamantalahan dahil wala s'yang malay! Dahil sa 'yo, hindi na naniniwala sa bigat ng hustisya si Leo!"

Nang-aasar na ngisi lang ang ibinigay ni Melissa sa kaniya. She playfully bit her forefinger as she relaxed her back on the backrest of the sofa and watched her as if she was being entertained.

Imee lowered her voice, regaining her composure. "Siguro, hindi napapatawan ng kaparusahan sa hukuman ang mga katulad mo dahil kulang pa 'yon na kabayaran sa mga kasamaang ginawa mo. Maybe, some people themselves can't get the justice they deserve because it is karma's job to serve it for them." She chuckled lowly despite how pained she felt for Leo. "And by looking at your old, ugly face, I'd say that karma did a better job than justice. Coming down here to the hell where you're at just to see this is so worth it, Melissa!" taas-noong ngisi niya rito.

***

Warning: 🚫
Trauma, Trigger

IT had been a tiring day for Imee. Umaga pa lang kasi ay nakipagkita siya kay Ava, pagkatapos, bago magtanghalian ay nakumbinsi niya si Curtis na dalhin siya sa Bicol. Palubog na ang araw nang makabalik sila sa Metro Manila. If she didn't want Leo to find out about her agenda of seeing Melissa, she had squeeze all these activities and make them fit in to her schedule today.

Dumeretso si Imee ng uwi sa townhouse ng mga magulang ni Leo sa Cavite. Pagkasara ng pinto, bumungad sa kaniya ang isang batang lalaki.

Ang bunga ng pa-double enter-dre at labis pa sa double na pagmamahalan nila ni Leo . . . si Leone Mikel Pascual-Tierra.

This little child always lit up her day, their days. Kung kaninang hapon ay mabigat ang pakiramdam niya dahil sa paghaharap nila ni Melissa, tila tinangay at pinagaan na iyon ng hangin mula nang masilayan ang matamis na ngiti ni Leone.

Ngunit bago malapitan ang bata, napasinghap siya nang mapansin kung ano ang hawak nito.

A rabbit!

Naibagsak niya ang shoulder bag sa sahig at natatarantang inagaw sa anak ang puting rabbit!

She gave it a closer look.

Whew. It was just a stuffed toy.

Kinabahan siya roon pero hindi 'yon nawala, nabawasan lang nang makumpirma na laruan ang kaniyang hawak.

"Where did you get this, baby? Your daddy doesn't like bunnies. He's scared of this, anak."

Iilan na lang ang kinatatakutan ni Imee sa buhay—ang mawala ang mga malalapit sa puso niya at ang pagiging sanhi ng trigger sa trauma ni Leo.

Bunnies reminded him of Melissa since she used to call him her sex bunny. That fear never left him after years of therapy, so they decided to avoid anything associated with rabbits.

"But daddy said I can have a bunny wabbit," inosenteng sagot ng cute na batang lalaki sa kaniya.

Lumuhod si Imee para magpantay sila. Inabot niya rito ang bunny stuffed toy. Then, she placed a hand on the little boy's head and gently tousled his hair. Nasaktohan naman ni Aling Mineng ang tagpong ito nang lumabas ito mula sa dining room.

Tipid na napangiti si Imee kay Leone dahil sa mabilis na pagliwanag ng mukha ng bata. Masaya na uli ito at kumikislap ang mga mata dahil sa hawak na laruan. Bumaba ang kamay ni Imee sa chubby nitong pisngi at masuyong pumisil bago nagtungo sa leeg ng anak kung saan nakasabit ang Ganileo gold chain.

Yes. When Leone turned one years old, the gold chain was given to him to represent as their family's heirloom.

Then, Imee raised her head and admired her child's features. Leone got most of his looks from his daddy. This kid was certainly Leo's baby, and Imee was certainly Leo's ex-girlfriend . . .

Dahil asawa na siya nito.

Her wedding ring shone, next to the gold chain necklace that she was caressing.

"Where is daddy?" she asked Leone softly.

"Sleeping," the five year old child answered.

Imee rolled her eyes and stood up. Minsan talaga kinakabahan siya kapag iniiwanan niya si Leone kay Leo. Siguradong imbes na ang bata ang napatulog sa hapon ng tatay ay ito ang napatulog ng anak nila!

Nakahinga lang siya nang maluwag nang malingonan na nakatayo sa doorway mula sa dining room ang kaniyang nanay. Magiliw na nakangiti ito sa kaniya kaya nginitian din niya ito.

"Ikaw lang po ang nandito?"

"Pumunta lang ako rito para itsek kung sino areng kinakausap ni Leone. Mabuti at ikaw pala. Si Lean naman, nagluluto pa ng hapunan sa kusina. 'Yong mga tatay n'yo ni Nardo, nasa labas pa at pinapalinis ang kotse na ginamit para ipasyal sa mall si Leone kanina."

"Sila ang bumili no'ng stuffed toy?"

Her mother smiled and shook her head while still looking at her. "Lahat kami, magkakasamang namasyal sa mall kanina kasi sabi mo, tumuloy kami at susunod ka. Si Nardo ang bumili ng stuffed toy."

***

Warning: 🚫
Trauma, Triggers

'I thought Ava was walking with her guardian angel. Her hair was short like a pixie's. . . . Wait? Was she an angel or a pixie?

'Damn.

'Just damn.

'She smiled at me, like what she always did. Pero hindi ko inaasahan na sa pagkakataong 'yon, magkakagusto na ako sa kan'ya.

'She used to be that little girl with a thin figure and messy hair.

'She used to be that random kid.

'Anak pala siya nina Mang Baste.

'A . . . S'ya pala si Imeng.

'S'ya na pala . . .

'There she was with her short pixie haircut, her long lashes, and beautiful almond eyes, and tall, sexy figure. She already turned into a woman . . . a very carefree woman.

'Her eyes stared at me knowingly. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang alam n'ya—kung alam ba n'ya kung sino ako o kung alam ba n'ya na may gusto na ako sa kan'ya.

'She probably knew both because she entertained me.

'Sinakyan n'ya ang panliligaw ko sa kan'ya.

'Sinagot n'ya 'ko agad.

'We were happy.

'Madali s'yang kausap. Kapag ayaw n'ya, ayaw n'ya. Kapag gusto n'ya, gusto n'ya. Hinding-hindi mo s'ya mapipilit. She knew what she wanted, and she would fight for it, but Imee never stole the things she wanted because she also respected the things that other people worked hard for to have. Hindi mo s'ya mapupuwersang gawin ang isang bagay at hinangaan ko 'yon sa kan'ya kasi iyon ang hiniling ko na sana ay pinairal ko noon. Kung natuto lang agad ako mula sa kani'a, e 'di sana, hindi na s'ya nakikihati sa pagpasan sa pinagdadaanan ko. . . .

'I always wished I had those traits like hers. I envied how stronger she was compared to me . . . but I guess, I can live with it. If she was stronger than me then, I would cling to her. Because whether she was stronger than me or not, I couldn't live without her anymore. . . .'

NAKITA ni Imee na natutulog si Leo sa kama ng kuwarto nilang tatlo ni Leone. How she wished she could read his mind, or have a glimpse of what he was dreaming about in his sleep.

Napailing-iling siya bago lumuhod sa tabi nito at humaplos sa pisngi ng lalaking patagilid na natutulog.

She admired him. He was as handsome as the first day she laid her eyes on him. Itim na itim na ang buhok nito, mestiso pa rin, at nagtataglay ng guwapong mukha.

Napuno ng pag-aalala ang mga mata niya. Hindi kaya nagkulong ito sa kuwarto at lumayo kay Leone dahil sa bunny stuff toy na 'yon?

Bakit ba kasi pumayag si Leo na ibili ang anak nila ng ganoong laruan? Hindi naman nito kailangang pahirapan ang sarili para lang mabigyan ng laruan si Leone.

Pero naunawaan din naman niya ang asawa. Kung siya rin naman ang nasa sitwasyon ni Leo, isasakripisyo niya ang sariling damdamin para lang sa ikasasaya ng anak nila. At this point, he probably didn't want to spoil their child's happiness, so he adjusted by distancing from his child and his trigger.

Each day that Leo would go to therapy, Imee would pray that he would xome back healed from all the damage Melissa caused him. Imee would pray that therapy could just quickly delete the memories of the abuse from his mind. How Imee prayed that, he would just go back to default settings, like a phone, when the right button is pushed.

But he didn't.

He never did.

He never forgot.

All the fears that Melissa caused him, seemed to had become a part of him . . . of who he was right now.

Nahigit ni Imee ang hininga dahil naramdaman niya ang pamamasa ng mga mata. She swallowed and put all efforts to hold back her tears.

Eventually, he stopped fighting his demons. Instead, we befriended them and chose to live with them, hoping that through the process, the demons would leave Leo with his thoughts along. This was risky, because trauma should leave one's life, and befriending it was synonymous to letting them stay in one's life. Yet, Leo chose to see those demons as voices that always reminded him to be cautious, to stay safe, to establish boundaries, instead seeing them of inflictors of fears.

Sinisikap ng lalaki na iproseso ang mga boses sa utak nito para mabawasan ang takot dito. Sinusubukan nitong tingnan ang mga ito na para bang katulad ng kaniyang nanay, ng mga kaibigan niyang si Maria at Ava na walang-tigil sa pagpapaalala sa kaniya noon na mag-ingat sa mga manloloko, dahil kung masakit ang magkamali, mas masakit naman ang magkamali dahil hindi ka nakinig sa mga paalala sa 'yo na mag-ingat.

That, of course, didn't really help in keeping him out of danger these days, but it helped lessen his fear . . .

Thinking about the journey of Leo's therapy made Imee smile faintly while adoring his sleeping face. But her relief was blown away when she heard him moan in his sleep.

'Imee—she always made me feel better.

'I wouldn't forget kissing her lips on the hood of my car, underneath the stars that night of December 24th. We were sitting, stargazing on the side of that highway.

'I placed my arm around her shoulders. Masyado nang inaagaw ng mga bituin ang atensiyon niya mula sa 'kin, kaya hinawakan ko na s'ya sa baba para mapansin naman n'ya ako.

'"I love you," I murmured, staring into her eyes.

'Ngumiti lang s'ya sa 'kin. She didn't have to tell me those three or four words because my heart knew that that smile meant she loves me too.

'Araw-araw naman n'ya kasi 'yon pinapadama sa 'kin, kaya kabisado na ito ng puso ko.

'"Since . . . I already got your parent's consent, it's time for me to ask for yours. Will you be my girlfriend?"

'Imee nodded without even pausing to think about it. Tila may pumitik sa dibdib ko, tinutulak ako ng pagpitik na ito na halikan s'ya sa mga labi.

'I slowly leaned closer to her.

'Imee closed her eyes, waiting for me . . . like what she always did.

'Imee always waited for me to come back into her life. And that night, I felt so sure I will be back in her life again.

'And this time, neither of us will be leaving anymore. . . .

'I pressed my lips against hers.

'Fireworks seemed to explode inside my chest, followed by this smooth flowing warmth from the taste and movements of her lips against mine.

'Ah, it was the sweetest kiss ever. And since then, she made me taste that same sweetness again and again, only sweeter than the last.

'And I guess, it helped that I only tasted bitterness in the past. Because it helped me know how different it tasted from sweetness. And knowing this difference made certain that Imee's kisses meant love, because it isn't bitter like pain . . . it's as sweet as can be!'

"IMEE . . ." Leo moaned.

Dahan-dahang niyugyog ni Imee si Leo para magising ito.

Ito na ang ikinatatakot niya! Baka nananaginip na ito nang hindi maganda!

"Leo," gising niya rito. "I am here, ga. I am here."

Her love knew no boundaries. She vowed to be with him all life long, through the best and the worst times. And Imee would stay true to that promise.

Niyakap niya si Leo, pigil ang mapaluha. "Leo, please, wake up. Nandito lang ako. Nandito ako. . . ."

Dumilat na ito at napahikab pa bago nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya.

"Hey, ga," nag-aalalang haplos nito sa pisngi niya. "Why are your eyes teary?"

"You're having bad dreams again," sagot niya. "Na-trigger ka na naman ba? Bakit mo binilhan ng bunny rabbit si Leone?"

Napatitig sa kaniya si Leo. Tila pinoporseso pa nito ang mga sinabi niya bago natawa nang mahina. "I'm not having a bad dream. I'm actually having a sweet dream, ga. I dreamt of you."

Napamaang si Imee sa narinig bago nakahuma. "O-Oh, really?"

"Oh, yes. And I have been waiting for a beautiful dream like that for years, pero ginising mo 'ko agad." He gave her a teasing side-eye.

Tumuwid na siya ng pagkakaupo sa tabi ng nakahigang asawa. "Malay ko ga? Umuungol ka, e! 'Tapos tinatawag mo ang pangalan ko. Gay'an ka rin naman 'pag nananaginip nang masama!"

Natatawang bumangon na ito. "Well, ga, there's nothing to worry about. I had a good dream, okay?"

Bago siya nakasagot ay dumeretso si Leo sa banyo. Imee followed him, pero huminto siya sa hamba ng pinto at pinanood mula rito ang paghihilamos ni Leo.

"Hindi mo pa nasasagot 'yong isa ko pang tanong. Bakit binilhan mo si Leone ng bunny rabbit?"

Tumawa lang ito. "Why, ga? Do you miss being Leo's baby?" At nagsimula na ito sa panunukso sa kaniya. "Gu-to mu ba ng bunny wabbit?" he baby-talked to tease her.

Seryoso pa rin siya. Nag-aalala. "Ayaw mo sa bunnies, 'di ba? It triggers your trauma."

Leo hushed her. Sinalo ng kamay nito ang tubig sa gripo at nagmumog. Pagkabuga ng tubig nagsalita na uli ito.

"It's okay. I can just hide here when Leone's playing with the stuffed toy. Ayoko namang baguhin ang bata o isakripisyo ni Leone ang kaligayahan n'ya para sa 'kin, katulad ng ayaw kong magdusa ka dahil sa pinagdadaanan ko. That's why I go to therapy, right?"

"I'm alright, ga. Hindi big deal sa 'kin na hindi ako makakita ng mga rabbit o kung hindi ko mayakap sa baywang mo ang legs ko."

"Not a big deal? Kaya pala panay ang yakap n'yang mga hita mo sa dance pole sa dance room mo rito sa bahay," magaan nitong tawa. "Dalasan mo pa 'yan at pagseselosan ko na ang dance pole mo."

Pinanlakihan niya ng mga mata ang asawa na nakailang mumog pa bago siya nito hinarap. Itinaas nito ang dulo ng damit para punasan ang basa nitong mukha, kaya naman na-expose ang abs nito.

Imee looked away. Ayaw niyang magpadala sa biglaang pag-iinit na maramdaman niya dahil sa nakabalandrang four packs na 'yon!

She only returned her eyes on Leo when he held her hand. Nagulat siya nang hilain siya payapos ni Leo sa baywang at hinapit padikit sa katawan nito.

"Leo!" Imee gasped, placing her hands on his shoulders.

He let out a low chuckle and stared into her eyes. "E, ikaw? Masyado ka yatang busy, ga. Sabi mo, susunod ka sa mall. Hindi ka naman nagpakita. Saan ka ba nagpupupunta ngayong araw?"

Imee smiled. Hindi niya sasabihin sa asawa na nakipagkita siya kay Melissa. After all, there were times when we must make sure that the innocence of the ones we love stays with them . . .

Masuyong inilapat ni Imee ang mga labi sa mga labi ni Leo bago sumagot. "Remember the resthouse that Curtis wants to show us? Pinuntahan namin 'yon."

Leo narrowed his eyes on her. "Why on earth did you go out with him without me?"

"Ga, I just want to surprise you by buying that resthouse for you. Remember, may budget ako dahil naipanalo ko ang ikalawa kong court case!" she squealed slightly in excitement before she calmed down again and continued. "Pero no'ng pinuntahan na namin 'yon ni Curtis, napangitan na ako."

"O, bakit?"

"It has such a spectacular view of Mayon volcano. Pero masyadong malapit sa bulkan, nakakatakot."

Napangisi ito. "Ows? Bakit naman kasi do'n pa nila napiling magtayo ng rethouse?"

Imee shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry, I didn't ask him why. Siguro, ang plano, e, gawing rental place—pang-staycation—kaya ipinuwesto kung saan kita ang view ng Mayon."

"Well . . ." Leo grinned. Naramdaman ni Imee ang pilyong kamay ng lalaki sa pang-upo niya. She didn't protest because she was comfortable with his love language—physical touch. "E, 'di h'wag mong bilhin. Bakit kailangan mo pang tumira malapit sa bulkan? Matatakot ka lang sa view kapag pumutok na ang bulkan. Mas maganda pa ako na view kapag pumutok na."

"Ga!" natatawang panlalaki niya ng mga mata rito.

Napayakap siya sa leeg nito nang inangat siya ni Leo. It was survival instinct, the fear of falling that gave her the impulse to cling her legs around his waist to hold onto him closer.

When she realized what she accidentally did, she gulped and fearfully looked into his eyes.

Leo didn't like having someone's legs around his waist!

Sinubukan niyang alisin ang mga hita pero humigpit lang ang mga braso ni Leo sa pagkakakawit sa ilalim ng magkabila niyang tuhod. Pumisil sa puwitan niya ang mga kamay nito.

"L-Leo, ang mga hita ko . . ." paalam niya pero tila dinedma iyon ng lalaki.

Leo lunged forward and kissed her lips. She sensed the urgency in his kiss. She sensed that he was trying to defeat his fears by distracting himself with her kiss. His tongue slipped into her mouth and tapped the tip of her tongue, inviting her for a cool, swirling dance. She obliged, because if Leo wanted to try lessening the effects of his trauma, then she must be supportive of him.

But the deeper they kissed, the farther her awareness went. She felt transported to a place that people called 'cloud nine.'

All the caution and fears leapt out of Imee's mind. Leo brushed them away with their tongues, lips, and bodies grinding and slipping against each other's. Hopefully, her husband was having the same experience too.

Nang maubusan ng hininga ay humiwalay din siya mula sa halikan nila. Imee blinked twice, trying to take her floating head back to earth.

Natatawang nginitian niya ito. "Wow! You still have that fiery kiss, Leo!"

"Shut it," mahinang tawa nito, nakasandal na sa pader habang buhat pa rin siya. "Kung maka-react ka, parang hindi kita araw-araw hinahalikan, e."

Ipinuwesto na nito ang isang kamay sa likod ng ulo ni Imee. Tila sisiguraduhin nito na hindi na siya makakawala sa susunod na halikan nila.

"Aside from that, look," sulyap niya sa hita niyang nakayakap sa baywang ni Leo.

When he followed her line of sight, his eyes widened. She saw that big, innocent joy in his eyes and in his open-mouthed smile as their gazes reunited.

"Yes!" he blurted excitedly.

"Yes!" she squealed happily.

"Come here!" Leo gently pushed her head closer to him and crushed his lips against hers.

And this time, she did not pull away. After all, Imee was already drowned in the bliss that his kisses could give to her. No matter how frequent Leo kisses her, it would always be the same sweet kiss that she would always crave the taste for.

"Ano'ng ginawa mo habang nakakulong ka sa k'warto?" tanong ni Imee nang buhatin siya ni Leo pabalik sa kama.

He carefully propped his knees on the bed and gently laid her down. Mabilis na inalis ni Imee ang mga hita sa baywang nito.

"W-Well . . ." anito habang pinakakalma ang sarili, "I monitored Leone through my cell phone." May CCTV kasi sila sa bagong townhouse at accessible ang nare-record nito sa isang application sa cell phone nilang mag-asawa. "At the same time, I write in my notebook."

Leo crawled at the side of the bed. He opened the night table's drawer.

"I wrote a poem before I fell asleep," anito habang binubuklat ang pahina ng notebook.

Paghiga ni Leo ay inilahad nito ang braso. Lumapit siya at inunan ang braso't balikat nito. Kinikilig na idinantay niya ang kamay sa dibdib ng lalaki at ang isang hita sa mga hita nito.

Hawak ng isang kamay, inangat ni Leo ang notebook para mabasa ang isinulat dito.

"Before I read this, you're allowed to have very high expectations of me, but not when it comes to poetry. Okay?" natatawa nitong sulyap sa kaniya.

Imee admired his open-mouthed smile, making her reply a few seconds late. "Hindi naman makata ang pinakasalan ko, kaya huwag kang mag-alala. Wala akong ine-expect," mahina niyang tawa.

"Well then . . ." He shrugged, smiled and faced the page of the notebook.

Before Leo asked for it, Imee's heart already knew what to do. She cuddled closer to him and listened.

"Come here. Come hear."

Leo started reading his free-verse poem and in between some phrases, Imee could not help giggling out of giddiness. At times, she laughed at one or two of his corny words, something that she never expected from the very articulated lawyer!

As they snuggled while Leo was reading his poem, they filled the room with their laughter.

***

✨ Special Announcement! ✨

‘LGS 1: Come Here’ ’s Prologue is available on Patreon, and . . .

. . . in the self-published book coming this 2024!

Are you ready to grab your copy?
😏♥️

Read advanced and full chapters on Patreon: https://patreon.com/anamarive

COME HERE
La Grilla Series #1
Copyright Registered: 2024
R-18, General Fiction, Sexy Romance, Drama

Facebook Page: ANAtheCowgirl
Wattpad: ANAtheCowgirl
Twitter: anathecowgirlwp
Instagram/Threads: anathecowgirl
Email: [email protected]