Reminders:

↝ This is unedited so please excuse the errors that you will definitely meet as you read.

↝ Lahat ng mababasa mo dito ay opinyon ko lamang patungkol sa gawa mo. They are subjective but there are also parts na objective.

↝ Make sure to do all of the payments for this. I trust you.

↝ Feel free to correct me if I have said something wrong.

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The Art of Letting Go
written by ellexiaa

Genre: Romance
Language: Filipino-English

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i. Book Cover

The book cover is great. Very minimal and aesthetic. Ang ganda ng font na ginamit mo. Malinis. Text are visible and readable especially yung subtitle and yung username mo. Keep it.

ii. Story Title

I will not say na bagong-bago ito sa pandinig ko. Typical title lang siya pero iba pa rin ang impact lalong lalo na at maganda ang cover. Dala-dala ng cover yung emotion or mood and it really supports the title. When it come sa relevance niya sa kwento, ayos na ayos. It did justify the plot.

iii. Story Description

Medyo revealing masyado ang description mo. It is more like a summary rather than a description. You've said a lot and it's kinda plain and not that very catchy. Try mong ipaikot ang description mo sa title. Play with it. Kahit yung third paragraph lang yung ayusin kasi yun yung part na medyo nasobrahan.

She's an artist but never new the art of letting go until she met her knight. Her knight that doesn't wear a shining armor but holds a life-changing proposal.

Chena lang yan. Mas alam mo ang kwento kaysa sa akin.

Another suggestion is that ipasok mo din yung male character. Si Reese lang kasi ang naging focus ng description. Magiging maganda kung maiintroduce si Alexander lalo na at may similarities sila (moving on). With this, makikita na agad ng mga readers yung connection or yung chemistry ng mga characters.

She needs to move on and he needs to make his family move on. Together, they need each other. And together, they will learn the art of letting go.

Ayan! Medyo madrama hahaha!

You just need to be playful. Isipin mo kung ano ba yung description na makakakuha sa atensyon ng mga readers.

iv. Prologue

First of all, hindi nagstick sa akin yung prologue. I had to check it again kasi nawala na siya sa isip ko and that's something. Mas nakikita ko kasi ang prologue mo as a chapter. Ito yung start ng kwento. It doesn't sound like a prologue to me.

Nasa prologue kasi yung mga naganap before the real start of the story. Parang backstory kumbaga o kaya pahapyaw. In your case, your prologue is the very start of the story.

Ang daming pwedeng scenario na pwedeng ilagay sa prologue mo. Pwedeng yung break-up scene nung ex tsaka ni Reese. Another choice is a sneak peak of the climax. Make a prologue na iba sa mga chapters. Yung tipong kahit magstart agad ako sa chapter one, maiintindihan ko. Pero syempre, dapat may sense yung prologue at connected sa kwento. It's just that it should not interfere with the first chapter.

v. Characterization

Hands down. Wala akong mapuna sa kung mga tauhan mo. They are very consistent and somehow realistic and relatable. Bagay na bagay yung personality ng dalawang bida. They compliment each other. Pati yung similarities nila na tungkol sa pagmo-move on, very interesting.

Kahit yung mga ibang characters, ang gaganda ng mga traits nila. Hindi sila halatang extra lang. Each character has its own spotlight. I could tell who is who. Nandoon yung distinction kaya hindi nakakalito kahit medyo madami sila. Great job! Wala akong masabi.

vi. Writing Style

→ Dialogues and Narration

The lines are nice and somehow realistic. Pero, may problema tayo when it comes sa mga punctuations. Tama naman ang paggawa ng dialogue tags pero nawawala ang punctuation.

Note that at the end of every dialogue, may mark yan (with or without tag).

“Hello.” → A single line without a tag pero may end mark pa din.

“Hello,” she greeted. → A single line with a tag. Imbes na period ang end mark ng dialogue, palitan ng comma then proceed sa tag (small letters).

“Hello!/?” she greeted. → Kahit na question mark o exclamation point and end ng dialogue, nasa small letters pa rin ang tag.

Another thing is yung 'I' and 'I'm.' Kahit na anong mangyari, automatic na capitalize ang mga 'yan. Kahit sabihin mong tag siya ng dialogue at base sa rules ay kailangan lowercase ang tag, capitalize pa rin si 'I.'

“Hello,” I greeted.

Lastly, please put space after an elipsis or yung three period (...).

“Hello... Kamusta?” sabi niya.

Yan lang ang mga nakita kong mga constant na mali sa dialogues. May mga kaunting errors like nawawala yung quotation marks pero minimal lang naman. You can edit it naman at hindi ganoon nakakaapekto sa pagbabasa. I suggest na reread lang before publishing.

When it comes sa narration, napakagaling mong magnarrate. Punong-puno ng emosyon. Ang ganda din ng transition ng bawat scenes. Direct to the point ang narration at walang mga patapon na sentences.

Yung format lang siguro ang medyo disturbing. There are paragraphs kasi na isang sentence lang. Mayroon din yung hindi tama ang pagkakacut ng paragraph. Magne-next paragraph lang tayo if new ideas/thoughts na.

I-organize natin yung narration. Wala dapat naiiwan na sentence na mag-isa. Pagsama-samahin yung mga sentences na umiikot sa iisang subject o topic. Timbangin mo din kung saan ba dapat icut ang paragraph kung sa tingin mo napakahaba na niya. Tyempuhan mo lang and try reading it kung maayos nga ba yung sudden cut.

This is my own style or preference, okay. Napansin ko kasi na mayroong magkakasunod na sentences or paragraphs na nagsta-start sa iisang word na usually ay 'I.' Nakakaumay kasi kapag na magkakasunod yung paggamit ng iisang word sa simula. You can change the format naman. Paikutin mo yung mga words para mabawasan yung paulit-ulit na simula.

→ Language

Sa unang basa ko, akala ko purong English dahil nga iyon yung sumalubong sa akin sa prologue. Ibalance natin yung dalawang lenggwahe— English at Filipino. I think sa umpisa lang kasi as I read more, nagiging balanse na din naman.

Alam ko na alam mo na 'to. Put dash in between the prefix and the rootword if and only if, the rootword starts with a vowel.

- mag-isa
- nag-iisip
- pag-inom

Kapag naman ang rootword ay nag-uumpisa sa consonant, no need to put a dash. Magkasama lang ang rootword at yung panlapi.

- naglakas-loob
- nagtaas
- nagmatsa
- nakangiwi
- pinakasikat

Here are also some clarification:
• andito - nandito
• andyan - nandiyan / nand'yan
• andon - nandoon
• dun - doon
• di - hindi / 'di
• wag - huwag / 'wag
• nako - na ako / na 'ko
• kanya - kaniya / kan'ya
• sakin - sa akin
• naten - natin

Mayroon ding mga ilang typographical erros pero hindi naman sila nakakasira sa kwento. Reread lang talaga before publishing para atleast nababawasan sila.

Additional information: written in words ang numbers 1-10.

→ Grammar

Walang problema dito. Malinis. Keep it up!

♡ ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ ♡

Hello, Shell! Thank you so much for trusting me. Pasensya na din kung ngayon ko lang nagawa 'to. Sana kahit papaano may naitulong ako. I enjoyed the story so much! Keep writing and may God bless you. Stay healthy!

Note: Please don't forget to read the reminders.