Disclaimer: This is not to victimize/white-wash any character, this is just trying to understand a character from his/her POV, why they behaved in a particular manner. This isn't justifying/glorifying them either.

(A conversation between the teacher, Golu and Suhana, which depicts their respective family dynamics. Episode 253) 

Teacher: Golu, yeh assignment pura wrong hai, maine sabko apni family draw karke ke liye            kaha tha, aur tumne yeh kya banaya hai? Ye bike hai, aur uske upar kaun hai? Tumahara friend?

Golu: No Miss, superbike pe mera friend nahi hai, yeh to mere Big Cha hain.

Teacher: Par maine toh tumko family draw karne ke liye kaha tha na?

Golu: Mam, aapne toh tell kiya tha ki jiss se hum most love karte hain, jo humari take care karte hain, who jo humari family hain, unko draw karna hai. Aur yeh Big Cha mere all hain.

Teacher: Apni family draw karne ka matlab hai, apne Mummy-Papa, aur bhai-behen.

Golu: Par mere Mummy-Papa to mera take care karte hi nahi hai. Unke paas toh time hi nahi hai. My no bhai, no behen.

Teacher: Golu, no argument. Main yeh assignment nahi lungi. Next time main jo bhi kahun dhyan se sun na, aur wahi draw karna. Samajh gaye? Ab yeh lekar jao aur correct karke aao.

Golu: Ok Mam.

Teacher: Suhana, tumne bhi yeh assignment thik se nahi banaya hai. Tumne yeh kya banaya hai? Dr. Bose, tumhari Mom?

Suhana: Yes, Miss. Main iski tarah dumb nahi hoon, maine toh apni family hi draw ki hai.

Teacher: Lekin tumhare Papa kyun nahi hai isme?

Suhana: Papa bhi hain na.

Teacher: kahaan hai?

Suhana: (pointing to a blank space) Yahaan hai.

Teacher: Suhana, you think I am joking?

Suhana: No Miss. Mere Mummy-Papa saath nahi rehte. Maine kabhi apne Papa ko dekha hi nahi hai, issi liye main unki jagah blank chor di.

Teacher: Thik hai, main phir se mark kar deti hoon. Golu assignment kal phir mujhe vaapa chahiye.

Golu: Ok Mam.

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This one scene tells a lot about the difference in the upbringing, the neglect, ignorance and that glitter may not be always gold.

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I've seen a lot of stuff over the years, where some considered Golu to be better just because he was a pure entertainer, or Suhana for her maturity. And I will again laud the writers for showing what upbringing of a child in different situation does to them behaviorally. Here are my two cents.

Suhana behaves exactly as so many children who grow up with single parents (especially single mothers) do. There's a maturity behind her smiles and mischief. She tries to read between the lines, is empathetic and tries to ease the burden by sometimes hiding her true emotions and questions so that her mother can have a reprieve. (This is an excellent parallel between Dev and Suhana. Both brought up by single mothers, who have to become mature so that they can be emotionally supportive to their family.)

Golu while looks likes that he has been brought up by extra love and care, suffers from severe neglect, and despite having everything monetarily lacks the emotional support. His only guardian  who truly cares about him is Dev, and while Elena fills in as the parent, but is not bothered enough, and for others he's just there to sometimes pamper or to ignore.

Since Sonakshi is the biological parent, it also gives her more agency in her child's life. Suhana is a reminder of the better days she had with Dev, the dreams they had regarding their children, and despite being diagnosed almost infertile, the miracle she got in form of her.

Dev is Golu's primary guardian, but he is not the biological one, and that makes a huge difference. Not only it makes his agency in Golu's life less, it also impacts the parenting. Golu may have lighted up Dev's life, but he is still the bitter reminder of dreams unfulfilled, that despite doing so much to keep his life intact, he will never become a father (Dev sacrificed that dream 7 years ago so Sonakshi would be in his life, and actually had to live longer with that fact than Sonakshi, that it's cemented in him).

It takes a village to raise a child (African Proverb).

Suhana's upbringing is also impacted by the environment she's is brought up in. Despite Dev and Sonakshi's bitter separation, Suhana has never been an unwanted child, she is very much adored by her maternal relatives. For them she's a part of their Sonakshi, and the happiness she brought in their lives.

The most bitter but true fact about Golu is that he is an unwanted child that was forced on Elena. (Radha Rani replaced the contraceptive pills with blank ones, without Elena or Vickkey knowing.) Motherhood is not defined by simply a woman's pregnancy, otherwise adopted children would always suffer, and biological children would never have abusive mothers. Despite Vickkey and Elena being in love, they were not ready for a child, so they neglect him. While Elena still has motherly instincts now and then, for Vickkey and Radha Rani he's someone who will automatically become Dev's heir, and make them wealthy. Mamaji on the other hand merely treats Golu as a form of amusement.

Parents learn from the past, their upbringing, the wishes they had as a kid, and the maturity they wish they had. They use this when they have their children, the do's and don'ts's and the mistakes to be rectified. 

Sonakshi tries to make Suhana independent, someone who could take her own decisions, since she saw what happened with Dev and Ishwari due to over-dependance. (This only works partially though, while Suhana is capable being decisive, she also inherits that sense of selflessness from Dev, which at times forces her to forgo her wishes so that her Mother and maternal relatives can be more happy, like when she forgoes her wish to meet Dev when sees the faces of Bijoy, Asha and Sonakshi.) Sonakshi's circle also includes Sourabh and Jatin. None of the people around her were happy, Sourabh was single, and Jatin lost his wife and child. She sees them being decent people, but still suffering, and this brings in solidarity, and allows her to give a better, well-rounded values to Suhana.

Dev is in a far worse state, he has so much trauma that he's not actually fit to be a parent, but he tries gives it his all, which is still not enough, as he knows Golu has only him. But his parenting is faulty. What Dev sees is people being happy around him despite them taking almost no effort, living their lives while he was the one who sacrificed everything. He sees it as a mockery of the hardships he had to go through, and it affects him. When he feels suffocated due to the lack of empathy, loneliness and everyone continuing their lives as nothing happened (Mamiji was elated, Ishwari didn't care, Elena-Vickkey were happily married, his sisters moved on), he ghosts, leaving his house days at a time. And Golu is left alone, with no one to care. Dev sees the people around him living luxuriously, while he is the workhorse, who has to make sure that everyone's wishes are fulfilled even if his needs have to be sacrificed again and again ("Main to mar bhi nahi sakta, mera parivaar, meri responsibilities, meri zimmedariyaan." Episode 141), so why does Golu even have to be responsible, to study? Golu will get everything anyway, so his childhood remains to be need intact. He is forgetting the fact that this can make Golu unambitious and spoilt. But to Dev, it's that if Vickkey could still be happy and have everything; without even lifting a finger, at least Golu provides him unconditional love, so he deserves to be pampered.

After the leap happens, when Suhana and Golu cross each other paths, a shift takes place in both the kids' life. Dev finally begins to see that damage that is being caused in Golu's life, so he starts to undo some of the damage. Sonakshi's presence also causes some improvement.

Suhana on the other hand finally gets to live her childhood more freely, where she can be pampered, throw childish tantrums and have unconditional love from a parent, who'll go to the ends of earth when she asks him. (And here I am in no way saying that Sonakshi wouldn't do the same, but she had an additional burden which hindered Suhana from truly being a child. Dev provides that balance which is necessary, they're supposed to be children not mature adults.)

There's one harsh truth, that no matter what Golu would never be that important in Vickkey's and Elena's life, the way Suhana has been in Dev and Sonakshi's. One, they didn't struggle to conceive, he was forced upon them, the other they have always gotten what they wanted with little to no hardships. For Vickkey, Golu while may be is his own blood, but mor than that he is a easy way to manipulate Dev, whom he can use to gain money or hurt Dev. Elena does have motherly instincts now and then, but he is not more important than her career.

Even after Vickkey's redemption, while both of them do become involved in Golu's life a bit more, Dev still remains the primary parent. Dev is the one who takes care of his studies, parent-teacher meetings and general upbringing.

Healthy discussions welcome.