Jihoon's POV

Sedatephobia, the fear of silence and something that I've been dealing with for as long as I can remember. It sucks, it really does. Always panicking and crying when there's no noise, shaking with fear until I finally hear something. Thankfully, there are ways to make sure there is always noise around me. I have two pairs of air pods so that at least one is always charged and I can use them to fill in any silences that may somehow occur. A good thing about being in a KPOP group, especially one with 12 other members, there's always at least one person talking or making noise so it's never really been too much of problem with my phobia. I never told any of the members about my phobia because, well it's stupid and childish but sometimes things just aren't meant to stay hidden...

I shot up in bed with a gasp, my breathing heavy from the nightmare. It wasn't anything too bad but it was enough to wake me up. I groaned and rubbed my eyes with a small yawn before looking at my alarm clock, 1am. Great, what a lovely time to wake up. For some reason my skin was tingling and I felt off. I looked around to see if I could figure out what was happening but was just met with silence. Wait, silence. I froze as the realization dawned on me. The music wasn't playing from my phone anymore. I quickly turned around and started patting over my bedside table to grab my phone, except it wasn't there. My breathing picked up and quickly turned my bedside lamp on and looked over the table before looking at the one on the other side but once again my phone was no where in sight. A let out a small whine as tears welled up in my eyes and my hands began shake. I jumped out of bed and frantically looked around to try and find my phone so I could play my music but I couldn't find it. I fell back onto my bed and brought my knees up to my chest bring my hands to the side of my head and hitting it continuously to try and create some sort of noise. It worked for about 1 minute before it got worse and I was now full on sobbing and rocking back and forth. I wanted noise, I NEEDED noise. There's only one way I'm going to get any noise right now but it probably won't end well. Who cares, it's either that or I get scared to death and probably pass out. I jumped out of bed and swung my door open, running out to the loungeroom. I quickly turned the lights on and ran over to the TV, grabbing the remote. I turned it on and turned up the sound, just wanting any sort of noise, not caring what channel it was on. The minute the sound met my ears, I started to quickly calm down. I was no longer shaking and sobbing, just slightly crying but I quickly wiped my eyes. My head hurt a little, but there was noise and that's all I wanted. I let out a sigh of relief as I took a few deep breaths to calm down.

"IT'S 1AM IN THE MORNING AND YOU'RE TURNING THE TV ON. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU," Wonwoo yelled as he rushed over and grabbed the remote, turning the tv off quickly. I was worried at first but everyone was complaining and yelling so there wasn't really any silence which was great.

"You just woke everyone up, what the hell man," Hoshi grumbled.

"Do you not understand how tired everyone is," Chan asked, he didn't sound mad, just tired and confused.

"This is unacceptable Jihoon, you woke everyone up when we already have such a full schedule at the moment," Jeonghan said with a deep frown.

"Guys," Joshua sounded, worried?

"GUYS SHUT UP." Everyone stopped talking at his words, surprised by his outburst. Even I was surprised.

"Woozi, have you been crying," he asked softly. At that, there was only silence. Silence once again and my heartrate immediately increased, breathing was harder and my hands began to shake.

"P-Please don't stop. Y-You can't stop," I begged shaking my head quickly.

"Why were you crying," he asked gently, quietly. So quiet I hardly count it as noise which is not helping right now. I lunged towards Wonwoo to tried to grab the remote but he stepped back quickly with confusion on his.

"N-No, please," I said shaking my head as tears began to fall down my face again.

"Hyung what's going on," Chan asked slowly.

"Please, please don't stop," I begged as I slowly sunk to the floor and grabbed my hair with my hands. I started to sob, which helped slight because there was a little noise but it wasn't enough, I needed more noise but I couldn't speak, I couldn't tell them.

"Woozi, Woozi what's wrong," Sungcheol asked as he knelt down beside me in concern and went to grab my shoulder but I flinched back before he could and huddled into the side of the couch, still gripping my hair tightly and sobbing.

"Vernon where are you going." I zoned out after that, my breathing erratic, my chest tight and my skin tingling. My vision was going blurry and my skin was churning, and then it all stopped. I blinked in surprise as my ears were covered and ATEEZ 'Wonderland' started playing loudly in my ears. I slowly brought my hands away from my hair and stopped crying, now hearing more than enough noise for me to calm down. I looked up to see a concerned Vernon standing in front of me with his phone in his hands and a cord plugged into it. That's when I realised, he had somehow figured it out. He managed to realise it was the lack of noise that was getting my worked up and ran off to grab his phone and a pair of headphones which were obviously what were now covering my ears. I lunged at him and quickly crawled into his lap, wrapping my arms him and snuggling my head into his shoulder to try and show my gratitude for what he just managed to do without being told. I'm not one to have much skin ship, so I hoped he understood what the hug meant.

Vernon's POV

I jolted awake at the sound of something being played loudly on the TV in the loungeroom and looked to my clock to see it was only just passed 1am in the morning. Who the heck would play something loudly on the TV that early in the morning? Especially considering we need all the sleep we can get right now. I jumped out of bed and walked towards the loungeroom, following the other's who seemed to have the same. When we got to the loungeroom, I was surprised to see Woozi standing in front of the TV.

"WOOZI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING," Sungcheol yelled, making the said person jump and turn around to look at us.

"IT'S 1AM IN THE MORNING AND YOU'RE TURNING THE TV ON. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU," Wonwoo yelled, running over to the remote and turning off the TV quickly. I saw Woozi tense up but I was confused when he relaxed again as everyone started yelling. Shouldn't he be worried or upset that he's being yelled at?

"You just woke everyone up, what the hell man," Hoshi said with a frown.

"Do you not understand how tired everyone is," Chan asked him. I could tell that the Maknae was tired and that made me more annoyed at Woozi for waking me up. Chan needs his sleep, very much.

"This is unacceptable Jihoon, you woke everyone up when we already have such a full schedule at the moment," Jeonghan scolded him.

"Guys," Joshua said slowly. I stopped and turned to Joshua, confused as to why he seemed so worried.

"GUYS SHUT UP," he yelled, making everyone go quiet. My mouth dropped open at his words and how rude what he just said was.

"Woozi, have you been crying." I froze and immediately turned to look closely at Jihoon as everyone went silent. He actually did look like he had been crying but I didn't get long to think about that because something changed. I watched as Woozi's hands started to shake and his breathing was slightly harder.

"P-Please don't stop. Y-You can't stop," he said, shaking his head. I looked to the other's in confusion but they looked just as stumped as I was.

"Why were you crying," Joshua asked gently. I furrowed my eyebrows in concern as Woozi jumped towards Wonwoo and reached for the remote but was unsuccessful as Wonwoo stepped back quickly.

"N-No, please," Woozi said, shaking his head as he begun to cry. Holy, I've never ever see Woozi cry before, not once since I first met him and I think everyone else was thinking that as well. And don't stop what?

"Hyung, what's going on," Chan asked him slowly but I don't think he even registered the question.

"Please, please don't stop," Woozi begged as he dropped to the floor and grabbed his hair with his hands tightly. He began to sob and that's when I decided to actually starting thinking of a way to try and help him rather than just gawking at him breaking down and hurting. He was fine when we got here and he was watching TV, tensed when we turned it off, relaxed when we yelled, started getting worse when Joshua pointed out he was crying and we stopped yelling, and then he only got worse from there. It was as if everything was staring us in the face, how he always has headphones near him and often has at least one in whenever it's quiet, how he sleeps with music on which ha s always confused us but we never really asked.

"Woozi, Woozi what's wrong," Sungcheol asked as he knelt beside him. He went to grab his shoulder but Woozi flinched back and huddled up to the couch, his grip noticeably getting tighter on his hair. That was the last straw for me and I quickly bolted towards my room. Hoshi called out after me but I didn't falter. I swung my door open and ran to bedside table, pulling the top draw open and quickly grabbing my headphones. I grabbed my phone as well and ran back to the loungeroom, plugging them in as I ran. When I got back there, everyone was watching helplessly as Jihoon was sobbing and having trouble breathing. I ran straight to him, pressed play on my phone and quickly covered his ears with the headphones. I held my breath as I waited to see his reaction, hoping he would get better. He stopped crying and slowly moved his hands away from his hair, his breathing also slowing down and I sighed with relief. It seems that I was right, Woozi hates silence or needs noise or something like that. He looked up at me slowing and I could see the relief in his eyes. He blinked slowly before he was suddenly in my lap, wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling his head into my neck. Woozi is never one to give hugs and it surprised me but I shrugged it off quickly and hugged him back. I could tell he was relieved that I managed to help him and this was like his thankyou. I lifted my hand up and began to gently run it through his hair, hearing 'Wonderland' playing in the background through the headphones.

"Vernon, what's going on," Jeonghan asked quickly.

"Wonwoo Hyung, can you turn the TV back on please? Don't have it so loud but have it in the background," I said quickly. He was confused but did as I asked and turned it on, turning it down slightly. I slowly removed the headphones from Woozi, making him tense up and whimper before relaxing once he heard the TV in the background.

"You alright Hyung," I asked gently. He looked up at me before looking at himself and seeming to realise what he was doing. He went to move but I quickly tightened my grip to stop him. I only tightened it for a few seconds before relaxing, just to let him know I was fine with him sitting there but not making him feel trapped. He frowned before sighing and giving me a small nod as he relaxed and rested his head back down on my shoulder. I was internally whooping with joy. Never have I ever been this close and cuddly with my Hyung. I would've gotten excited on the outside but given what's just happened and could still be happening, I kept it in.

"Are you ok Hyung," Seungkwan asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for waking you guys up," he said quickly and emotionlessly.

"I know what you're doing and it's not working. You're not getting out of telling us what just happened Lee Jihoon," Sungcheol said sternly.

Jihoon's POV

"Are you ok Hyung," Seungkwan asked me quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for waking you guys up," I said quickly, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice so they'd think I was fine and let me go.

"I know what you're doing and it's not working. You're not getting out of telling us what just happened Lee Jihoon," Sungcheol said sternly. Curse the leader and his ability to read everyone like a book.

"Do I really have to," I asked with a sigh as I turned around in Vernon's lap and leaned my back against his chest. Vernon should feel blessed right now, this is basically all the affection I'm giving anyone for the next to months. He wrapped his hands tightly around my waist and snuggled his head into my shoulder. He's really pushing his luck right now but he did just save me so, I guess I owe him this. I huffed and leaned my head over, resting it on his.

"Yes, you really have to," Jeonghan replied. I can do this one of two ways, I can slowly ease into it and explain it over the course of 15 minutes, or I can just go out and say it.

"I have sedatephobia which means I'm scared of silence," I said with a shrug.

"Wait, what," Jun asked quickly.

"I have a phobia of silence so I basically just freak out whenever there's a period of silence. That's why I've always got headphones nearby and why I sleep with music on. And before you guys ask, I didn't tell you because there wasn't really any point," I said with a half shrug, not moving the shoulder Vernon was leaning on because I didn't want to disrupt him.

"What do you mean there was no point? You just had a panic attack or something in the living room, you were sobbing and scared. That definitely seems like something we should know about," Sungcheol said with a frown.

"Look Hyung, I'm fine. Really. I just freaked out because I woke up and music wasn't playing and I couldn't find my phone. That's why I turned the TV on, I didn't have anything else to listen to. I'm really sorry for waking everyone up, you can go to bed now," I said in a bored tone.

"We're trying to help you Hyung," Minghao said with frown. I looked over at Chan and Seungkwan and saw that they looked sad and worried. Damnit, I may try to act tough all the time but my number one priority is the three Maknae's. If they're upset and worried, then I'm not just going to leave them like that.

"Look, I've been dealing with this for a while now and I'll be fine to continue dealing with it. If it really bugs you, you can help by just making sure I've always got a pair of working headphones or when I don't, someone's talking. There's really not much else anyone can do," I said with a sigh.

"Are you sure," Hoshi asked softly.

"Yeah I'm sure. I'm fine with it, I just didn't expect there to be no noise when I woke up, I swear I had my music playing," I said, furrowing my eyebrows and looking down in confusion.

"I'm so sorry Woozi." I looked up at Jun in confusion as I saw his eyes watering slightly.

"Why," I asked confused.

"I'm sorry. I could hear the music through the walls and it was just annoying me so I took it, I didn't know there was an actual reason," Jun said as he buried his face in his hands and begun to cry. I sighed and internally scolded myself, he's crying because I never told him I actually needed the noise, it's not his fault.

"Vernie, let me go," I said gently and he complied. I quickly got up and went over to Jun, wrapping him in a gentle hug and resting my head on his chest.

"It's fine Jun. You didn't know so it's not your fault, I don't blame you alright," I told him quickly. He moved his hands and looked down at me with teary eyes as I gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry, it's in my room," he said sadly as he looked away.

"It's fine Jun. You didn't know, now you do so you won't move it again. I'm sorry for bothering you with my music," I said softly. God why am I being so soft today?

"It's fine Jihoon, I was just being stupid, it's not that bad," he said quickly.

"Good, now stop crying please. I hate it when you guys cry," I said honestly with a frown. He chuckled and nodded, wiping his eyes as I moved away from him.

"Can we go back to bed now of amazing leader," I said, turning to Sungcheol. He rolled his eyes but nodded.

"Back to bed guys, we can discuss this more in future if we ever need," Sungcheol said as he began to usher everyone back to their rooms. Vernon followed me to my room and was humming and tapping on my bedframe until Jun walked in with my phone playing some music.

"Thanks Jun," I said with a nod as I quickly but softly grabbed Vernon's wrist with my hand to stop him from leaving. Jun gave me a small smile before he left the room.

"Everything ok," Vernon asked me.

"Does my music ever stop you from sleeping," I asked him.

"No never, why," he asked with a puzzled look.

"Good, get into bed," I said with a gruff attitude. I wanted to thank him more for helping me and what better way then to let him cuddle me to sleep. Except, I'm not one to really ask for cuddles so we've got to do it a different way. He raised his eyebrows up at me before a small smile graced his lips and he hopped into bed, slipping under the covers. I turned the light off before hopping into bed next to him, the music still playing in the background. He immediately shuffled over and cuddled up against me. I rolled my eyes but didn't protest and gently wrapped one arm around his shoulders.

"Was that your way of saying ickle Woozles wanted to have a cuddle session with Vernie," he said with a giggle.

"Shut up and go to sleep," I growled with a frown. He chuckled and cuddled closer to me, making me huff but I still let him go.

"I love you Hyung," he whispered.

"I know, now sleep," I replied. He went silent after that and I just sat there listening to music until I knew he was definitely asleep. I then leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I love you too Vernie."

A/N

This was requested by a very good and supportive friend of mine @3shinjirarenai3 They're one of the main reasons that i've had the inspiration to keep doing this fics and it means a lot. Feel free to go check out their account!

I hope you all enjoyed reading and have a lovely time!