Vernon's POV

I woke up with a start, hearing yelling from downstairs. Chan who was cuddled up to me also woke up and gave me a confused expression.

"I dunno, maybe they're mucking around," I said, answering his unasked question. The was immediately debunked when we heard a bang and clear angry yelling. Chan jumped in my grip and I tightened my arm around him protectively, will my own nervousness down. I really don't like conflict because of stuff that happened when I was younger that I don't ever talk about.

"Why are Hyungs yelling," he asked me innocently.

"I'm not sure, I'll go have a look," I said getting up. Chan immediately grabbed my hand and followed me downstairs. When we got downstairs we paused by the front of the living room to see what was going on. Jihoon, Jeonghan and Joshua were all yelling at each other, Seungcheol and Minghao seemed to be standing between them and trying to stop them from being physical which immediately made me step in front of Chan. Seungkwan wasn't in the room and the other five were standing off to the side just watching the commotion, still looking angry themselves. Chan and I shuffled over to where Hoshi and Jun were standing as the other's kept yelling.

"What's happening, why are they fighting," I asked as Hoshi pulled Chan into a small hug.

"Someone touched Jihoon's computer last night and it deleted the all the songs he's been working on for the past 6 months. That's gonna make us way behind on schedule," Jun said with a frown. I paled slightly at his words. I used Jihoon's computer last night to check our schedule but I know that I never touched his files. I swear I didn't but watching how angry everyone seems right now, I knew that I would immediately cop all of their anger.

"Chan do me a favor and go upstairs ok," I told him. He looked up at me confused as Hoshi frowned slightly.

"Just go upstairs. Wake Seungkwan up and get dressed," I told him. He went to say something but I quickly cut him off.

"Please," I asked quietly. He looked up at me and seemed conflicted but he nodded and walked away. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again and speaking up.

"Hyungs," I called out but I only got attention of the ones who weren't arguing.

"Hyung," I said louder, making them all go silent and turn to me with scathing looks. I flinched suddenly and felt my heartrate increase as I realized what was about to happen.

"What do you want," Jihoon asked me. I put my hands behind my back to hide the fact that they were shaking slightly.

"Uh, I need to tell you something but you've gotta promise that you'll listen and accept all the facts," I said nervously. I could see the recognition flash through Mingyu's eyes as he realized what I was about to say and his face dropped into a sympathetic look, rather than the angry one he was sporting just before.

"What is it Vernon," Jeonghan asked with a glare.

"So uh last night. I was back at practice late and my phone was flat so I needed to find another way to check our schedules for today so I could know what time I needed to leave by. I went into Woozi Hyungs studio which I know I'm not allowed in but I wasn't doing anything bad. I went onto the computer for less than two minutes and I swear I didn't touch any of your work. All I did was pull up the schedule and then close it, I didn't touch anything else I swear," I said really quickly. Everything was silent for about 5 seconds before all hell broke loose.

"YOU TOUCHED MY STUFF WITHOUT ASKING," Jihoon screamed at me. I flinched back at the yell and clenched my hands tightly closed behind my back to stop a whimper from leaving my lips.

"YOU DELETED ALL MY WORK FROM THE LAST SIX MONTHS! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EFFORT THAT TOOK," he said angrily. Great, see I knew this was going to happen. Why can't he ever listen to all the facts.

"Like I said, I never once touched those files. All I did was check the schedule and then leave," I promised.

"Are you kidding me Vernon!? You're the last person who touched his computer. Do you have any idea what you've done? We are going to be months behind now. We're supposed to release an album in a couple of months and now we have nothing. I don't even want to see your face right now." I blinked away the tears as Sungcheol; my leader said he couldn't look at me.

"But Hyun-."

"Vernon, I suggest you leave right now before one of us get's even angrier and says or does something that we regret." My heart dropped as I heard the harsh from Joshua, sweet Joshua who doesn't get mad easily. My arm was suddenly grabbed and I almost flinched but I was surprised when Mingyu secretly slipped his hand into mine out of view from the other's. I let him lead me upstairs quickly into my room and immediately pulled me into a hug.

"Hyung what's wrong." I immediately tensed when I head Chan's voice, not realizing he was in the room.

"Vernon just needs a hug right now," Mingyu said softly. A couple of seconds later I felt another set of arms wrap around me. I let out a choked sob and pushed myself closer into Mingyu's arms.

"Chan, Hyungs are angry right now. Something happened and they needed someone to blame and unfortunately they found that person to be Vernon. He was the last person know to have touched the computer and they don't believe that he never did anything to the files. I do believe him however and I know you do so we'll have to look after Vern for a bit until the rest of the Hyungs calm down alright," Mingyu said quietly. A couple of seconds later, I felt a kiss placed onto my temple and I blinked before looking to the left to see Chan giving me a sad look.

"I believe you Hyung," he said quietly. That's all I needed to hear for now. That at least two of the boys believed me and weren't angry. I pulled both of them into a firm hug and sniffled slightly.

"Thanks guys," I whispered.

"No problem. Just remember that Hyungs don't mean what they said, they're just angry and need to blame someone alright," Mingyu told me. I nodded in reply and gave him a small smile.

"Stay strong alright, they'll come to their senses in a day or two."

~~~~~

They didn't. It's been five days and not only have I been ignored but my angry Hyungs and only talked to when I'm getting yelled out, Mingyu and Chan have to ignore me until it's time for bed because they don't want to be yelled out either. I understand Chan and Mingyu I really do, I even suggested they ignore me but it still hurts. I stopped eating two days ago because I was too anxious. Every time I tried to eat I would always end up throwing it back up so I just gave up all together. Whenever I'm in a room with them, my heart is racing and my palms are sweaty. I know they would never hurt me, they're my family, but so were my parents. All those painful memories of my childhood have been emerging lately and I've been panicking, doing my best to desperately push them back and not think about them. I thought I had locked them away as forgotten memories but clearly not.

"VERNON. That's the third time you've stuffed up that move and I'm sick of it," Hoshi said, slamming his fist into the wall. I flinched backwards slightly and a small whimper left my lips, making everyone go silent.

"Are you seriously about to cry right now," Jihoon asked rolling his eyes.

"N-No, I'm fine," I said quickly, struggling to calm my breathing. Images flashed through my mind and I blinked to try and keep them away but I couldn't, the slam of the fist on the wall just ignited the flame and set free all the memories I had spent so long trying to never think of again.

"Practice is over. No point practicing if someone can't get anything right," Hoshi said, glaring at me before walking over to his bag. I nodded and apologized, bowing to everyone before walking out of the room. Tears started streaming down my face and images started flashing through my mind. I sobbed and began running through the halls quickly, looking for an isolated unlocked room. I knew it wasn't a good idea, leaving myself alone to my thoughts but there was nothing else I could do, no one I could turn to. I finally found an unlocked door of an old practice studio that's never used and flung it open, closing it quickly behind me as I stumbled to the back of the room. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't stop crying. I cuddled up to the corner and grasped at my chest, desperately trying to stop the stabbing pain that felt like it was piercing my heart. I don't know how long I was there for but soon enough I wasn't getting any air and my vision got blurry before I felt myself slipping sideways and everything went black...

#

"Wake up you useless child." I watched as I was woken up with a smack to the face. My breath caught in my throat as I saw a face I thought I'd forgot about 7 years ago.

"You slept in you piece of shit. Go take this and buy me some beer." My dad grabbed me by my collar and flung 12 year old me off my bed and onto the floor before kicking me in the back. I watched myself burst into tears and quickly run to the bathroom to get ready and do what my dad said. It was always better to do what my dad said, especially when it was buying beer. Sometimes he would drink too much and end up passing out and I would be able to stay in the house for a few hours in peace...

#

"What did you get on your report," my father asked me as I walked inside in school uniform, meaning I had just come home from school.

"I did well dad." Poor my, thinking my dad would finally be proud of me and I'd get the night off. Boy was I wrong. I was wearing a baggy hoodie but I knew that underneath that hoodie was a canvas of purple and blue bruises littering my skin.

"I didn't ask if you did well, I asked what you got." I couldn't tell then but I could very easily tell now, he was drunk.

"I got an A in everything but English language. I got a B in that though." My poor naive self, smiling proudly as I told him how well I did. I clenched my eye closed, not wanting to watch what happened next but that didn't stop me from hearing the bangs and loud cries of my younger self as my dad beat me. He beat me for getting a B in one class. Tears slipped down my face as I was forced to open my eyes and watch the assault unravel...

#

I choked back a sob as I recognized the next scene in front of me. It was both the worst and best day of my life, the day my father nearly beat me to death. Why would that be good? Because that was the day my dad was arrested and the last time I saw him. What happened that day though, took me a long time of therapy to get over.

I was sitting at the dinner table eating my canned pasta that I cooked myself because dad wasn't home. I had thought it was going to be one of those rare nights where dad wasn't home and I'd have a whole entire night of peace, but that wasn't the case. My dad stormed into the house as I was about hallway through my dinner and he was mad. I never did find out why he was mad, just that he was and he needed something or should I say, someone to take out his anger on. Unfortunately the 'lucky winner' was me. He went straigt over to me and grabbed my bowl, throwing it against the wall where is smashed. I barely had a second to blink before a fist was colliding with me 14 years old face. After that, the hits didn't stop. My dad was screaming and punching and kicking me. I ended up passing out pretty quickly and I later found out that my dad had yelled so much he got the attention of our neighbors and they called the police. I was saved that night but it did nothing to erase the past 5 years of abuse I had gone through.

I gasped awake and looked around confused, rubbing my eyes which were wet for some reason. Probably from actually crying through those horrible memories. I shivered slightly but I couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from the bad feeling I had gotten during, whatever that was. I stood up slowly feeling stiff and confused. How long was I laying on that floor for? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and my eyes widened at I realized it was 8am. I had been in this room for the whole night and into the morning, training was supposed to start in hour and I wasn't even at the dorms to get ready. I quickly rushed out of the room and out to the front of the company, praying that a manger might be around and thankfully my prayers were answered.

"Manager-nim," I called out. He stopped and turned to me, seeming confused.

"Vernon, what're you doing here," he asked as I jogged up.

"Sorry, I thought I'd come early but I left some of my stuff at the dorm. Is there any way you could drop me off there," I asked nervously.

"Sure but are you ok? You don't look too good," he said studying me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got worried that wouldn't be anyone to take me to go pick up the stuff that I had left," I lied.

"Alright, well get in and I'll drop you off," he told me. I nodded and got into the passenger seat. I said goodbye and thanked him as I got out of the car and he nodded before driving off. I took a deep breath before unlocking the door and walking inside. I could immediately hear raised voices from the living room and I bit my lip worriedly. I walked over and saw everyone sitting on the couches or standing and talking. They looked stressed for some reason.

"I don't know ok. I've called and called but he's not answering. What if something bad happened to him," Sungcheol said as he looked up from his phone.

"I'm sure he's fine Cheol, he's probably just being silly as usual," Joshua said rolling his eyes.

"What if he got kidnapped Hyung," Wonwoo asked quietly and everything went silent. That's when Chan looked up and our eyes met. I frowned as I noticed he looked like he had been crying.

"Hyung," he cried out, dashing from the couch and literally jumping into my arms. I felt bad as he started to cry and everyone turned to me, it was clear I was the reason he was crying.

"Where the hell have you been!? Actually I don't care, come here," Sungcheol rushed over and pulled me into a hug as Chan stepped back. My eyes went wide and I felt weirdly better from the embrace.

"Do you have any idea how worried we were," he asked as he pulled away.

"Worried," I asked confused. I thought they hated me, why would he be hugging me and worried.

"Where the hell were you and it better be a darn good excuse! We called you constantly and you didn't answer. Do you know how bad it would've been for the company if something happened to you. We don't need bad press right now, not when we're so behind," Jeonghan asked angrily. Oh right, they worried about the company and not me, figures. The revelation brought an uncomfortable feeling to the pit of my stomach. I couldn't find the right words to say so I stayed quiet and looked down. It's not like I could say 'hey for the past 6 days you guys have been ignoring me unless you're yelling at me just like my father did and when Hoshi smacked the wall, I got so scared that you guys were going to hurt me as well that I ran off and had a panic attack, resulting in me passing out and reliving the memories of my physical abuse from my childhood and not waking up until 8am in the morning, over 12 hours later'. No, I can't say that.

"No answer? No answer? You were probably doing something immature and stupid to ruin our group more weren't you? We had to stay up trying to find you all because you wanted to have fun," Minghao yelled. I saw his hands ball into fist and he slammed them onto the table. I jumped backwards and my hand somehow found it's way into Sungcheol's as my heart pounded. I quickly yanked my hand out of his hand, hoping that he wouldn't be mad at me but he just looked confused.

"I apologize, I wasn't out doing anything. I stayed back to practice in one of the old practice rooms and ended up crashing on the couch. My phone was on silent so I didn't hear any of the calls." A lot of them still looked angry but they didn't say anything.

"Go get ready, we leave in half an hour. We're doing a hip-hop unit practice," Sungcheol told me. I nodded and went upstairs, hearing footsteps behind me. When I got to my room, I held my door open so Chan could go in first before I went in and closed the door again. He went over to my bed and sat down, looking sad.

"Did you stay at the company because you didn't want to be near us," he asked quietly.

"Of course not Channie, I love you," I said softly, sitting down next to him.

"Then why did you stay there," he asked innocently.

"I'm really sorry Dino, I was just too tired and fell asleep. I'm sorry I wasn't here to sleep next to you," I said with a sigh.

"That's ok. As long as you're alright I'm fine. Just maybe next time please at least message us to let us know," he said.

"I think that's fair," I said giving him a small smile as that's all I could muster.

"Oh, you probably didn't have dinner last, I can go make you breakfast," he said excitedly.

"That's alright, I already ate before I came here. Manager-nim gave me some food," I lied. I just wasn't really hungry after what I had just seen not even an hour ago.

"Oh, ok. Well I'll let you get ready for practice then," he said, giving me a small hug. I hugged him back for a few seconds before pulling away and letting him leave the room so I could get changed.

~~~~~

We've been practicing for an hour already and I can tell the other's are getting frustrated. I'm thankful that I've got Mingyu, Wonwoo and Sungcheol rather than other's though. Mingyu still looks after me and doesn't yell at me, Wonwoo will yell at me but not to bad, he's pretty reserved. Sungcheol yells at me a lot but as the leader he does still praise me sometimes. Unfortunately though, I've been making a lot of mistakes. I don't understand why I'm so tired and dizzy when I slept so much last night.

"Vernon, again come on," Wonwoo said with a groan as I stuffed up yet another run through.

"I thought you said you practiced extra last night, you should be getting this by now," he added with a frown.

"I think Vernon might just be tired. It probably wasn't a good idea to be training so late at night," Mingyu said quickly and I was thankful for any help I could receive although it probably won't help much.

"That's not an excuse. He should still be executing this way better than he is right now," Sungcheol said shaking his head as he walked towards me.

"I'm getting so sick of the mistakes." Everything to slow down and go quiet as I watched Sungcheol fling his hand up above his head. My heart stopped and instead of seeing my leader that I trust, I saw my father mere seconds away from giving me another beating. I flinched backwards and fell to the floor with a cry, covering my face with my hands to try and protect myself. No matter how many times you get beaten, there's no getting used to it.

"Please, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I promise I'll do better," I sobbed.

"Baby." I froze slightly and slowly peaked over my hands and over to Sungcheol. He had a look over horror on his face and was several steps back from where he previously was.

"I'm sorry Hyung," I whimpered.

A/N

This was requested by @Osamusa I hope you enjoyed the first part and there will be a second part that I will hopefully have up by tomorrow.

Thankyou for reading everyone and I hope you enjoyed it.

I'd like to just say a massive congratulations to Stray Kids for becoming the Kings of Kingdom, it was so well deserved and every performance they had was absolutely amazing.

Also great job to ATEEZ who despite not winning did so much for their fans and gained many more throughout the whole of Kingdom. The ideas behind their performances were amazing and their last performance really showed them having fun and touching issues that not many do. Well done ATEEZ!