Seungkwan's POV
I cursed myself in my head when I made another mistake during the choreography for 'Left & Right'. As the music stood I lowered myself to the floor, running my fingers through my hair frustratedly.

"Are you ok Boo." I blinked and looked up to see Seokmin kneeling in front of me.

"Yeah, sorry Hyung. I was just a little tired," I said with a shrug as I quickly stood up. He chuckled and stood up as well, ruffling my hair slightly.

"Do you need a break. I can tell Seungcheol to give us a five minute break if yo-."

"NO. Um, no I'm fine," I said, correcting myself quickly. He furrowed his eyebrows slightly but then gave me a small smile and nodded before walking off. Damnit, I can't have him worrying about me, that was so stupid. The reason why I reacted so quickly was because I keep stuffing up so I need to work hard and practice more to perfect the choreo. I feel like I'm not good enough to be in this group, I am no where near good enough compared to the rest of the members. It's a wonder I haven't been told off or kicked out of the group already.

"Seungkwan, what're you do. Get in to position." Sungcheol's voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I realised everyone already in their positions for the dance. I squeaked and quickly got into my position, hearing chuckles from the other's. I went bright red but shrugged it off and focused on the dance. It started and I danced my heart out. I almost got the whole way through without making a mistake but I stuffed up on the same move right near the end. I groaned in frustration and pulled at me hair as I walked to back of the room. God why can't I fix up that one move, that's the fourth time in a row that I've messed it up. I'm so bad at this.

"Stop that, you'll hurt yourself." I blinked my eyes open in surprise as Hoshi gently moved my hands from my hair.

"Come on, I'll help you with that move," he said giving me a small smile. I nodded and he slowly went through the move a few times as I copied until I got it right.

"That's great. Don't stress out too much, you sometimes just need to slow down and do it a few times before you get it," he told me gently as he held out a water bottle for me. I took it gladly and took a few sips before we were being told to rehearse again. I gave Hoshi a small smile before I got into position and we begun to dance. I was quite happy when I finally got through the dance without a single mistake but that doesn't mean it was great. I was still no where near the standard of the other's, that's why I always stay back after practices.

"That was a great run through guys. If we keep doing it like we just did then we'll only have to do about 2 more run throughs before we can call it a day," Hoshi said with a happy nod.

"Can't we just go home now," Jihoon whined as he flopped onto Hoshi and flung his arms around his shoulder. I chuckled at his use of bribery which seemed to be working as Hoshi had wide eyes and was blushing. You see, Hoshi is always trying to get some skinship with Woozi but Woozi almost never allows anyone to touch him.

"Um, well uh, I don't know. Maybe we c-."

"No Hoshi, no caving and Woozi no bribery. We're doing at least two more good run throughs before we go home," Sungcheol said rolling his eyes at the two. Jihoon pouted slightly but then just shrugged and got into position. I took a deep breath and went to where I needed to stand.

~~~~~

We ended up having to go through the dance another three times because Hoshi wanted it to be perfect in his eyes. I was actually surprised when he announced that we were done for the day and said everyone did an amazing job. I don't understand what he could possibly be thinking because I was NO WHERE NEAR as good as the other's. I felt like they were professionals and I was just an amateur.

"So what's everyone going to be doing when we get home," Vernon asked as everyone started packing up but I just sat by my bag. I need to stay back for a few more hours to make sure I can slightly catch up to them.

"I am definitely going to be going to bed early today," Wonwoo said with a sigh.

"Hyung it's already 9pm, I hardly call that early," Chan said with a chuckle.

"I mean for us it's kind of early," Wonwoo shrugged in reply.

"That's true, let's get going," Joshua said. Everyone else stood up with their bags and made their way over to the door while I grabbed my phone and went over to the speakers to plug it in.

"Seungkwan? What're you doing." I paused and turned around at Jeonghan's words, seeing everyone paused by the door and watching me. It was a little intimidating having all 12 of them looking at me intently.

"Oh, I'm just staying back to practice a bit more," I shrugged.

"No you aren't, grab your bag and let's go," Sungcheol replied shaking his head.

"What do you mean no. I'm just going to stay back for a few more hours and practice to make sure that I've got everything down pat," I said slowly.

"We've already practice 5 hours today, you don't need to practice anymore. Plus you've been staying back a lot recently, you'll burn yourself out if you continue with the way you're going," he said.

"We're going so grab your bag and come on," he added as he held my bag out for me.

"What? No," I said taking a step back. I could see the look of confusion on everyone's faces and Sungcheol frowned as he crossed his arms.

"As your leader, I'm telling you that we're all leaving right now," he said firmly.

"And I'm saying no, I'm staying," I said shaking my head. I don't know what got into me and why was I was being so disrespectful but all I know is I can't leave until I've perfected the choreo which I am no where near close to yet.

"Boo Seungkwan, what has gotten into you? This is your Hyung that you're talking to, show some respect," Joshua said, raising his voice angrily.

"You are grabbing this bag right now and we're all leaving," Sungcheol said narrowing his eyebrows.

"I-I can't Hyung," I said shaking my head quickly as my heart rate increased.

"Yes you can. Stop being so stubborn Seungkwan, you're holding everyone else back right now," Minghao said with a groan. Deep down I knew he was talking about holding them back from going home but my brain was telling me that he was saying I was holding back the team, and I know it's true.

"I know, believe me I know. That's why I need to stay back and practice. Please Hyung, I need to practice," I said as tears sprung to my eyes. Sungcheol was standing in front of me so I don't think the other's could see my face but he definitely could. His eyes widened and I heard him curse under his breath.

"Alright everyone go home ok. Jeonghan Seungkwan and I are going to stay here for a bit," he said quickly as he stepped closer to me to shield me from the other's view.

"But Hy-."

"NOW," Sungcheol interrupted firmly as he turned his head to look at them. I couldn't see their faces but I'm guessing the tone got through to them, given how they all left quickly after that. Arms wrapped around me and I was pulled into a warm and loving embrace.

"Let it out Kwanie," Sungcheol said gently and that's when the damn broke. I tried to hold back my cries but a choked sob escaped my lips and after that, the tears just kept coming and pretty soon I was full on sobbing into the leaders shoulder.

"Oh my god. Shit, what happened," Jeonghan asked but there was no reply. Instead another set of arms wrapped around me so I was caged in the arms of my two eldest Hyungs. Their hug felt so safe and I couldn't help but let out all the emotions I had been holding in over the past few months, it just flowed out of me through my tears. I tried to slow down my cries but that just made my choke and start to cough slightly.

"No don't hold back Boo. Just let it out. It's a safe space here right now and I want you to just let everything out," Sungcheol said as he gently squeezed the upper part of my ear and began to rub it gently. At the same time, I felt Jeonghan squeeze my shoulders gently and begin to massage small circles into them. You may think it seems weird but both things seemed to bring a lot of comfort to me and my anxiety dwindled a bit. I sniffled a few more times before my tears slowly stopped and I just closed my eyes, and revelled in the comfort that I was feeling from their gently touches.

"You ready to talk," Sungcheol asked gently as they both stopped what they were doing but kept their arms around to me.

"Can we please just stay like this for a little bit longer," I asked softly as I wrapped my arms tighter around his waist and snuggled my head into his chest.

"Of course baby. We can stay here for as long as you want ok, there's no rush," Jeonghan replied gently as he tightened his back hug and rested his chin on my shoulder. So there I was, in the middle of the practice room , cocooned in the arms of my two eldest Hyungs. After another five minutes I finally nodded my head slowly to let them know that I was ready to talk so they pulled away. I was yelped in surprise as Jeonghan lifted me up and carried me over to the couch before depositing me on top of it and sitting down next to me, Sungcheol sitting on the other side.

"We're just gonna sit here comfortable until you're ready to talk ok," Sungcheol said softly as he squeezed my thigh gently and Jeonghan slipped his hand into mine. I took a deep breath before replying.

"I uh, I don't really know where to start," I admitted.

"Well, why don't you tell us what you meant when you said you knew you were holding us back. Minghao was talking about us you stopping us from going home but I have a feeling that's not what you were talking about," Sungcheol said slowly as he knelt down in front of me.

"No, that's not what I was talking about," I said truthfully.

"Well, what were you talking about then," Jeonghan asked.

"I'm just not up to any of your standards. I can't dance as well as you guys, sing as well as you, and my looks are no where near as good as yours. I've been trying to stay back after practices to get better but it's not working, I'm still miles behind everyone. I don't even know why I'm in Seventeen and I'm quite surprised that PD-Nim hasn't kicked me out yet," I said sadly as I looked down at my feet. Here it is, the moment where they're going to realise that I really am not up to standard and will probably tell me that they've been wanting to get rid of me for a while. I was surprised when I heard a sniffle and my head snapped up. My eyes widened when I saw tears falling down his face and I quickly turned my head to look at Jeonghan, confused to find that he also looked like he was about to cry.

"W-why are you guys crying," I asked confused.

"Come here baby," Sungcheol said as he held his arms open. I blinked in confusion but slid down from the couch and into his arms hugging him as he sniffled into my shoulder. What is going on right now?

"I'm so sorry Seungkwan," he said sadly. Oh here it comes, this is what I was waiting for. I closed my eyes tight and let out a small breath before replying.

"It's ok Hyung. I know I don't deserve to be in this group," I said softly. A sob ripped from his throat and he pulled away quickly, tears streaming down his face and now Jeonghan was knelt next to him, also crying pretty hard.

"Uh, are you guys ok. I know we're close but it's not the end of the world if I'm off the team. It'll probably hel-."

"Seungkwan, there's no way you're ever leaving Seventeen," Sungcheol said cutting me off.

"I'm not," I asked slowly.

"No, you're not. EVER. You aren't miles behind everyone and you aren't holding us back. We're crying because we can't believe we didn't notice how much you've been hurting and how wrongly you've been thinking about yourself," Sungcheol said as he wiped his eyes.

"Wrongly," I asked slowly.

"Yes, wrongly. Everything you've just said is so wrong Seungkwan. You're definitely up to everyone's standards. Your singing is amazing, your dancing is so good and you are so good-looking. You don't need to be staying back late after practices because you're dancing the best out of everyone right now and I don't say this much but you got all our dances pretty much perfect, you just can't see that," he told me. His words touched my heart and even though I didn't fully believe them, I felt a bit better.

"You're just saying that because you're my friend and you have to," I said shaking my head as my face heated up a little.

"Correction, brother not friend. And no, I'm not just saying that because I have to. I never do that, I'm saying it because it's true," he told me.

"And I agree completely with him," Jeonghan added.

"You guys really think I deserve to be here," I asked them.

"Yeah we do. And so do the other's. We all love you so much and we hate to see you hurting but that doesn't mean you should hide it. You can't bottle feelings like up, you need to let them out. Holding things inside you like that is not good for your mental health and can cause serious problems in the future. You need to be open whenever you're ever feeling bad about yourself alright," Jeonghan said gently.

"But I don't want to bother anyone and be anymore of a burden," I said quietly.

"You aren't a burden at all and I promise you're never a bother either. You just need to have more confidence in yourself but that's ok. Hyung's are here to help you see how truly amazing you are, no matter how many times we have to tell you," Jeonghan said as Sungcheol nodded. Tears welled up in my eyes only this time they were happy tears and I wasn't feeling anywhere near as bad as before. I wrapped my arms around both of them and sniffled happily as they hugged me back.

"Thank you Hyungs, it means a lot," I said with a small smile as I pulled away.

"So are you willing to come back to the dorms now," Sungcheol asked me. That's when I remembered how I acted earlier and my eyes went wide.

"Oh my god Hyung, I'm so sorry for how I acted earlier. I was just really stressed and worried and I-."

"It's fine Seungkwan, I don't care. You just needed to let everything out and that happens sometimes. Just next time promise to talk to us first before it get's that bad ok," Sungcheol said with a playful glare.

"I promise," I said with a small smile.

"Now come in and give Hyungs another hug before we head back to the dorm with the rest of the crazy people," Jeonghan said as he opened his arms wide. Sungcheol and I both laughed before launching ourselves into Jeonghan's lap and making us all fall to floor. We burst out laughing but were somehow actually comfortable so we stayed how we were and just hugged each other gently, enjoying the comfort.

I'm definitely going to them if I ever start feeling bad about my worth on the team. They're my family and I need to be able to talk to them about stuff like that. Plus they love me and would do anything to keep me happy, I know that now.

A/N

This was requested by @Anna and I hope it's what you wanted and you enjoyed it.

Thanks for reading everyone and have a great day or night!!